Title: Human At the Core
Rating: K+
Warnings: Use of alcohol, implied Garrus/Shepard
Summary: After seeing Kaidan for the first time in two years, it does not end well. Shepard shares a glass of brandy with Doctor Chakwas, but one glass doesn't quite quell the feeling of being utterly alone.
A/N: If I wasn't such a baby, this would be Thane instead. I just can't write the green lizard. Thanks for reading. Review please.
Garrus was worried about Shepard.
On his walk back from the elevator, Garrus had been lucky enough to catch sight of Shepard and Dr. Chakwas sharing a bottle of iced brandy. It was a comforting moment for him. It was nice that Shepard, in trying to let go of her past, had at least been able to keep some friends. He could still see Kaidan's judgmental face in his mind. The digust with which he had looked at his former lover. The betrayal in Shepard's stance had been incredibly apparent to Garrus. Had Kaidan ignored it? Or simply didn't care to look for it?
Shepard had been incredibly downcast after that. He saw it in the gentle slumping of her shoulders, the slight monotone in her voice as she gave orders, the dragging of her feet, and the lack of conversation with her crewmates. Kaidan had meant everything to her. Garrus had thought the young lieutenant had felt the same. He'd certainly stared at her enough during their search of Saren. He talked about her all the time back then, too. Had it just been mindless lust? A body Kaidan had been after rather than the beautiful mind that laid behind it? Garrus clenched his fist. If that was the case, the lieutenant would be the next to fall in front of his crosshairs. No one messed with Shepard while he was around. No one.
The glimpse at Shepard drinking brandy itself wasn't what had him worried, though. And Kaidan's little stunt wasn't what had him worried either. No, if anyone could handle heartbreak, it was Shepard. She'd died and still was walking around. A little heartbreak wouldn't do her any damage. It was the fact that about five minutes after his walk from the elevator, he'd heard her slurred voice coming as she spoke to the chef. She'd stumbled a few times, giggling and laughing. The Chef had asked to escort her to her room and take the brandy bottle from her hands, but she wouldn't have it. Not Shepard. She'd stumbled on down the hallway and over to who knew where. Garrus kept thinking Thane would hear her. He would help her get up to her quarters and take action. But that just seared him even more.
Garrus wasn't jealous of Thane. No, he just thought that maybe Shepard spent far too much time with an assassin, of all things. The thought of Thane in her cabin, when her guard was down, and she was drunk... It brought a chill to his turian spine. No, that simply wouldn't do.
Sighing at the inevitablility of it all, Garrus closed down his console and opened the doors. If he didn't go looking for her, he would simply worry all night. All it would take to quiet his mind was a simple reassurance that someone had helped her up to her cabin, and he would be back to upgrading the systems.
Garrus wandered around the third floor of the ship, listening for the sound of Shepard's quiet feet or her giggles. He heard nothing. Popping in on Samara, the turian asked her if the commander had passed through.
"Pardon?" Samara asked. "Shepard? No, I apologize. I was deep into my meditations. Perhaps you should check with the assassin. He is far more alert that I."
That was what Garrus was afraid of.
Well, his suspicions were stupid, and he knew that. It was the main reason he didn't voice them to Shepard. So far, Thane had been the epitome of gentlemanly graces. Shepard and he were becoming fast friends, and Thane had accepted a contract. He was the weapon of Shepard's hand or whatever he'd said. There was no reason to question his motives. So far, all Thane had done was sit in his room and meditate, just like Samara.
Thane hadn't heard Shepard either.
"I heard the elevator moments before. Going down. Would you like me to help you look?" asked the assassin. Instead of turning around to face Garrus like a normal person, turian, or krogan would, the Drell kept his eyes straight forward, staring at the Mass Effect core in front of him.
"No, I'm sure I'll find her eventually," Garrus assured him, turning on his heel and exiting the room.
The elevator was going down, huh? Well then, so was he.
Garrus climbed into the elevator and arrived on the fourth floor in the blink of an eye. No one was there. He swallowed and looked around. Grunt was not making any noise. Perhaps the Drell had been mistaken?
Just as he was about to turn around and leave, he heard Shepard's laugh drifting like a ghost through the skeleton of the Normandy. He started toward Jack's room. As much as he would have liked to avoid it, if Shepard was down in the pits with the convict, he had to rescue her. What if Jack turned on her? It was far more likely than Thane's betrayal, anyhow. Garrus picked up his pace.
He was met with a bit of disappointment and a lot of relief when at last he saw Shepard's lithe form, sighing and leaning against the steel wall of her ship. Jack was on the bed, staring at her commander as if expecting something. Shepard smiled.
"It's all gone," she slurred, dropping the bottle to the ground. At that point, and he noticed just how much Shepard's senses were dulled when met with brandy, he was very close to her. Shepard took notice of him when one clawed hand rested on her forearm.
"Commander, let's go up to your cabin, huh? You need to rest." He pulled slightly on her arm. She pushed off of the wall and took a half of a step.
Garrus caught her by the forearms before she tumbled to the ground. Her hair, smelling of strawberries and cream, brushed his face. Her pulse, steady and slow and of that of a human, beat dangerously against his claws. He could easily break her neck in that position. She was so vulnerable. He could take her out, make it look like an accident... When the heady scent of brandy passed his nostrils, he snapped out of it. She was not a criminal to be punished on Omega. This was Commander Shepard of the Normandy. His commander, and a damn fine warrior. Even inebriated, she could still probably fight her way out of the ship if he tried to attack her. And why would he want to attack her? Shocked at his own violent thoughts, Garrus hauled her up on unsteady legs. She threw back her head and laughed loudly.
"Garrus! You'll have to carry me up the stairs," she said. Everything was out of focus for her. She stumbled again as he tried to coax her forward. It was like teaching a newborn to walk. He was beginning to think that carrying her was the only option.
"She is so wasted," offered Jack from her dark corner, a smile tainting her poisonous lips. "You better carry her for her own safety."
"Garrus Vakarian, Garrus Vakarian," sang his commander as she fell to the floor on her hands and knees and laid there. "Garrus Vakarian. Garrus Vakarian. Garrus the carry man. Garrus is a weird name, huh? Turian-ish. Is that a word? Do you think that's a word?" Shepard guffawed into the cold, metal floor. Condensation from her hot breath formed on the surface.
Garrus reached down and wordlessly scooped her into his arms. "No, Commander, that's not a word."
"Aw," she said, heartbroken. "What's a word, then? Another word..." He started to climb the steps.
"Word is a word, Commander," offered the turian. He would have thought she'd be heavier. Shepard was a normal-sized human. Now that he thought about it, he supposed she weighed about one hundred and ten pounds. That was an easy amount for a turian to lift. It was an easy amount for anyone to lift.
"Word is a word, Commander? Word is a word is a word," she mumbled. Alcohol had a funny effect on her. He would have to be careful never to get it near her again. This side of Shepard was beginning to scare him.
In the elevator, Garrus set her down on her own two feet but didn't let go, careful to keep at least one hand on her unsteady body. She sat down. "I'm dizzy, Garrus Vakarian."
"I'm sure you are. Brandy isn't good for you," he said.
Shepard seemed to think on that for a minute. She chewed on her lip in that big decision-making way. "A lot of stuff isn't good for me," she said absently, more to the floor than to Garrus.
He really didn't want to have a heart-to-heart with her about the lieutenant. He prayed for EDI to go faster. Make the damn elevator go faster.
But the commander didn't bring up Kaidan. She was content to sing and spin on the floor, gasping sharply whenever the elevator moved abruptly. At last the door opened, and Garrus let out an audible breath. Helping the commander to her feet and staying at her back to help guide her into the cabin, Garrus led Shepard to her bed. She stopped just at the foot. Garrus left her alone to go to the bathroom for a glass of water. Shepard fell on her bottom without his support.
"Shepard, are you even trying to stand?" he asked, exasperated.
"It was your idea," she shot back, and he had to admit she was right. Shepard arched back, stretching her flat stomach taut, and laying on the ground. Her legs bent so her knees pointed up in the air. Shepard's short red hair fanned out around her. By the Gods, she was beautiful. Even for a human. Garrus looked away sheepishly, ashamed at having those thoughts, and set her glass of water on the beside table.
"Come on, let's get you on the bed. I venture that you'll have a horrible headache in the morning." Garrus extended a hand to the beautiful woman on the floor. She shook her head and ignored it.
"I don't want to sleep on the bed. I like it here," slurred his commander, gripping the carpet with her fingertips. Garrus swallowed.
"The bed is much more comfortable," he tried again.
She rolled onto her side, toward him. "No," she said firmly.
Garrus sat on the floor beside her, sighing. He hadn't signed on for this. Shepard was his friend, however, and he intended to be there for her when she needed him. Even though the words hadn't come specifically from her mouth, Garrus recognized a call for help. Someone had to sit by Ava Shepard when it counted. She'd just lost her paramour. Shepard could cause havoc in the ship. Plus, it wouldn't do much for the crew's morale if they saw their commander, their rock and stone, fall to pieces over something most would call trivial.
"So you intend to sleep here, then?" he asked softly.
"I might be," replied Shepard. Now, that sounded like a more military response. Was the brandy wearing off?
"Do you want me to leave?" he asked next. He'd watched vids. Seen human women and how they slept. It was usually with tousled hair, glossy lips, push-up bras, thin nightgowns, and lotion. As enticing as it sounded, to watch Ava Shepard let her hair down, Garrus had no intention of intruding upon her privacy. He had no intention of watching his commander turn into a sexy television star, either. It would simply ruin their relationship on the battlefield. He'd never get the image out of his head.
"Please stay, Kaidan. Stay with me tonight," she said softly, and Garrus jumped when one of her hands touched his talon. So she thought he was Kaidan? That was...jarring.
"Maybe I should go," he commented, more to himself than to her.
"No," Shepard sat up. The world spun. "Garrus, I'm sorry. Please just stay here until I go to sleep. I don't want to be alone."
He thought about it. It wasn't good for either of them, to spend time alone. Garrus was finding himself attracted to her. A human of all things. His commander. Savior of the citadel and potentially the galaxy. What right did he have to stay beside her?
I am her friend, he thought.
"All right," he said softly. "EDI, could you dim the lights? The commander needs to sleep."
"Understood," EDI replied. The room went dark.
"Thank you," Shepard said, closing her eyes and curling into a ball on the floor. The turian grabbed a blanket from the bed and a pillow, tucking it beneath his commander.
He would stay because she needed him to. Even if the brandy was what was making her weak. He would stay even if it would be embarrasing when she woke up and everyone talked about them. He would stay because she might regret it and he needed to test the boundaries. Mostly he would stay because she was his commander and his friend. Garrus cared for her, a human, in a way that he had never cared for anyone before. He had lost so much on Omega, so many friends. And he had lost Shepard once before. He wouldn't let go of his commander again, not for the world. Maybe it was beneath her to be friends with a turian, a scarred C-sec turian that hated injustice and couldn't take bad orders like he was supposed to. Maybe he shouldn't have been spending time with a legend. But, beneath all the glamor and bullshit everyone piled on her to make sure she seemed more than what she was, Garrus knew that Ava Shepard was human at the core and needed someone to pick her up and dust her off every once and a while.