O. k. This is my first one shot ever. So it's probably bad..but it's worth a try... It is only Jude speaking and reminiscing on where it all went wrong. It's set right after Tommy leaves Jude. He drowns in his dreams That day he left me...He left me wondering. What does he dream about? Why did he leave me I've seen him dream before So tortured He drowns in his dreams...more like his nightmares. There's so many ghosts that follow him there. He's as damned as he seems He acted like he always had everything together. He even almost had me fooled. Until that day he left. His smile and blue eyes hid everything. His softness hid how he truly was. And more heaven than a heart could hold Yet at the same time he has so much heaven in his eyes. I can still remember his tender kisses. His eyes they say no matter how damned he is he still is pure. And if I try to save him I want so badly to call him. To tell him. To find even where he is. My whole world could cave in But if I do. And if I find out why he left. Everything could fall apart even more. It just ain't right IT'S NOT FAIR!!! He's supposed to be here by me... after everything Oh when I don't know When will he come home. Will he ever be back where I can know him. I don't know what he's after Why did he leave. I can't go through this without him. Why... Such a beautiful disaster He's so beautiful and in my life he seems to be the disaster. But...as weird as it sounds I don't think that I'd have it any other way because he's my beautiful disaster And if I could hold on I can still remember the coldness of the car as I chased after him If only I could have held on for a bit longer Would it have made an difference? Would it be beautiful Or just a beautiful disaster If I ever see him again. Would it be the same? Would we laugh and cry together? Or would it just be a disaster? A tragedy with More damage than a soul should see He's a tragedy That bring everything else in with him. His life so far certainly is no piece of cake.. So hard not to blame him Everything went wrong when he left. It's so hard for me not to be angry. I'm longing for love and the logical Why can't we ever be logical together. Something bad always happens. But he's only happy hysterical He never knows what he wants. I wish he knew.. I'm waiting for some kind of miracle Will you be home. That's the miracle that I'm wishing for. Waited so long How long will I be waiting for you. How long will I dream. Will you ever go away. He's soft to the touch I can still remember his touch. The tender touch he gives. But frayed at the end he breaks He breaks so easily. I wish I was there to help He's never enough And still he's more than I can take He leaves me longing for him. Yet it's still too much...