HEY! Another story … it will be slash with OC … but go for it … it concentrates more on Jeff for a long time … so no slash if any not till a long way away lol. Read and review

Disclaimer: You know I don't own lol … And it isn't true to real like … More AU.

"Kiddo! … Kid! Wake up"

I heard banging on the wooden door as I was woke from my slumber, the twist of the door handle and light footsteps walk into my room. Both my mom and dad were standing there looking at me, waiting for me to wake up and actually acknowledge them.

"No"

"Come on, it's your first day back"

"Mom, one more day please?"

"No … No Jeffy no more, your never going to go back"

"Dad?" I look at him questioning him.

"One more can't hurt"

"No"

"Ple…"

"No before you say anything, we are going downstairs get ready and be down for breakfast, because you are going to have some then its school" My mom told me in a stern way.

With that my dad who seems very whipped right about now followed my mom out the door and I fell back on to the bed. Today is going to one of the longest days of my life. How the hell can I actually do this? My head is killing me. The late night and drinking doesn't help I must admit but with or without the slight hangover which the parents don't know about, It still can't be done. I just keep staring at my bedroom ceiling and hoping it will give me some answers, no one else can, nothing else can … Why not try this I guess …

"HALF HOUR JEFFY!"

That's why …

"YES I KNOW" I yelled back at her.

"How the hell am I going to get through this?"

I ask myself more rhetorical questions while wanting to rip my eyes out and getting ready for the day of hell. I run into the bathroom wash up a little, do the hair and pick out a get up for the day. Band shirt, black jeans, black hoodie, vans and my necklace. I pick it up from my bedside table and hold it in my hands. Looking down at the cross, I clasp it into my palm and let the corners dig into my skin. I take a deep inhale of air and blink back a few times before putting it round my neck. I open the door and look into the hall, close my room door behind me and head towards the staircase. I stop in front of the door on the left before I get to the decent and sit in front of I, my back leaning on it my head hitting back off it too. I just keep staring up at the light, I don't know if I'm looking for more answers of if I'm just stalling, o it's hitting me. All three I think to be honest.

"Why?!"

"Why?!" I bang the back of my head off the door with every questioning and I just keep asking as if it would give me an answer.

I hear footsteps come towards to stairs and stand up quickly, my dad see's me.

"Everything's going to be fine Kid."

"How do you know?"

"It will have to be"

I just stare at him. I can't do or say anything back to it.

"Come on, let go downstairs"

I don't say anything and just follow.

"Hey Hun, some toast is on the counter for you."

"I'm fine thanks"

"Jeffy, please just eat a little bit"

"I'll eat at school Mom, serious I'll be cool"

"Jeff please, just eat it, it's not much plus when your at sch…"

"Please shhh, my head is killing me, if I eat some will you stop nagging me?"

"Yes"

I bite into the toast and feel it go down. Not in the best ways, but it shuts her up I guess. I eat enough to make her shut up and take a drink of orange which is beside the plate and grab my bag and Ipod.

"Right, go quick, your going to be late."

"Okay, okay I'm going"

"Have a good day Kid, you need us ring us and we can talk" My dad always one for been technical.

"I'm so proud of you Hun"

"Yeah"

"Go! We are making you even more late"

I nod and walk for the door I go to strap my skateboard to my bag and halt at the door. Shit!

"Mom"

She carries on rushing round the house and getting ready for work.

"Mom!"

Still not hearing, my head is spinning. Why didn't I think of this?

"MOM!"

"Jeffy!?"

"I can't get to school"

"Yes you can … You always get a ride from…"

She stops mid sentence and looks at my face. It drops more than it already had. Why didn't any of us think of this?

"Fuck this"

I throw my board and bag down in the corner of the stairs and run up the stairs.

"JEFFY!"

I slam my room door shut and throw myself to the bed and cover my head with my pillow hoping it will shut out the world and I can wake up and put this as a nasty dream. I laugh sonically at my thoughts.

"Pretty long fuckin' dream yeah?"

"What Jeffy?"

I flip round and see my mom standing at the door. I flip back and burry my face into the cushiony item.

"Go away" I replied even though it was muffled.

"Jeffy you can't hide forever"

"All I need is one more day"

"No … You have had a lot of days Jeffrey, we have planned this for a while, now come on I'll drop you off"

"I would rather walk"

"You will be late"

"I don't care"

"I do … He would too"

"Stop it"

She stops and sniffs I know I'm making this hard for her, but it's so fucked up.

"Jeffy please … just let me drive you … I know it wont be the same."

"Nothing is ever going to be the same."

"Jeffy… Please?"

"I can't …Tomorrow I promise you … But not now … Not after this"

"Okay, I'll let your dad know … Huni I know this is going to be so difficult for you, it is for us. It will get really bad at times but we have each other and things will get that little bit easier on you"

"I'll believe it when I see it"

She just looks over at me and strokes my back.

"Huni we have to go to work okay? … If you need us, ring me or your dad okay?"

I shake my head and make no movement to say goodbye or wave. She sighs leaves the room and I'm left in silence. I wait to hear the door slam and then wait until I can hear the cars leave before I even look up.

I get up and sit on the edge of my bed, I don't want to move, but if I don't I know I never will. I get up and open my bedroom door for the second time this morning. I walk down the hall and stop at the door on the left. I put my hand on the handle and turn it slightly. My heart I can feel it racing and my eyes sting. I let go of it and turn round back to the place I was before my dad came up the stairs. I take off my hoodie and drop it beside the door. I lean back and slam my head off the back of it. I take the necklace off and clasp it again tight in my hand. I can only say one thing to it...

"Why?"

"Just please answer me … Why?"

I stay there most of the day asking that question … I still can't find the answer.

Well there ya go :) first chapter done … pretty easy … Erm … READ AND REVIEW IF YOU WANT MORE! Thanks kids :) xox