Fragile Consequences
I am ashamed that I let you down!
Dear Bella,
Please forgive me, for I barely recognise my own self anymore, I took an innocent young girl and filled her heart with illusions of love that I knew would never be fulfilled, my perverse depravity fed on your naïvety and now im solely responsible for the path of destruction that you now seem to be taking, though this was not my intention for I truly believed we had a chance, and now ... im struggling to keep you from harms way, destruction follows my every move, overshadowing my very beliefs and I can hardly contend with the evil that resides deep inside as it scratches away, clawing and gnawing at my very being, scavenging through the debris of my mind in a vain attempt to locate you and eradicate your sensual aura from my thoughts. There is nothing more soul destroying than being told you are no longer loved, no longer wanted nor needed, but, its even tougher to endure when the very person relating this bleak news is the one who has promised to always protect you from pain and suffering.
I am aware my unorthodox method of shielding you from the cruel and twisted world I call my own was the reason that grief and sorrow found a home deep inside your fragile heart. They buried their way in and nestled comfortably, salivating in the loneliness caused by absence, with every waking minute, your body became an empty vessel, allowing nothing but the darkness to reside there happily. I fully understand that there is consequences to my decisions and my pivotal action of leaving was detrimental to the pain that has befallen upon your undeserving soul.
I will forever exist in the knowledge that I am solely responsible for arousing the shadows of solitude to creep up and steal you from your loving world, a world full of warmth and tender beating hearts, a world where both parties share in the loss of a broken relationship with the same HUMAN emotions equally, a concept I admit im struggling to grasp, not that im not locked in my own chasm of solitude, I am, I truly am my dear Bella but I created this senario, my loneliness is merited by my own foolish and inane conclusion to how I think .. or rather... what your life needs, a normal and carefree life, free from the perils of vampires desperate to gorge on your blood. The heart can be cruel sometimes, instead of filling one with love and hope it can turn and release its own idea of hell! The suppression of the pain you feel has created an isolation from the people who care so much, as the numb cold vacuum began to evolve inside you it slowly consumed from the inside, eroding any memories of the happiness you once knew, obliterating the reality and integrating a false sense of reasoning for my departure, slowly the girl everyone recognises has skulked into the shadows and decided she is not good enough anymore ,for if the undead has turned his back on her then everyone will, nothing can be more further from the truth as I hope in time you unburden yourself from the shackles of despair and live the life that was meant for you, my darling Bella its because I love you so much that I had to release the hold I have upon your innocent heart, like a caged bird kept in captivity for so long it has a sense of unbridled confusion as the first rushes of air began swirling round the claustrophobic dungeon, it feels a deep longing to shrink back and hide once again in the arms of its captor, prolonging the inevitable freedom which awaits, but, as time goes by, slowly it rebels against the darkness and learns theres more to life than its cage, Bella my sweet, my precious little swan, I pray you find your wings and enjoy a happy and fulfilling life and never ponder on what might have been, never linger on the vampire who once owned your heart, forget me my love, like I never existed.
Edward