Notes: Hi y'all~ I know that nobody in my life asked for a ChrisxPiers, but I've been feelin' them so hard lately you've got no idea. Anyways, this little one-shot went from a few paragraphs of cuddle-fluff to 11 pages of smut...
I've never published anything I've written for these two before, so enjoy!
"I can't do it again, Piers." Chris's voice was a quiet whisper against his chest. Adjusting himself to better hear Chris, Piers opened his eyes and looked down at him. Chris lay on top of Piers, his cheek against his chest, arms around him. His weight was comforting, and his hair was soft against Piers's chin. Piers had his arms wrapped tightly around Chris, lying together on the bed Piers had so adamantly taken over when Chris had disappeared. All of the stress and anger and worry of the last six months had disappeared once they had settled back in at the BSAA; once Chris had settled back. It was as if Piers finally had his support back after struggling to stay afloat by himself month after long month.
"Yes, you can, Chris." Piers whispered, moving one hand to gently rub his head. Chris didn't immediately respond, but sighed deeply, the stubble on his cheek scratching lightly against Piers's bare chest. Piers could feel his captain's pulse low and steady against the bare skin of his stomach and wondered at how relaxing and peaceful that felt. A heart beating against him and for him. Wanting desperately to make Chris be comfortable again had proven to give Piers a determined drive that rivaled that which he normally felt on the battlefield.
Arriving back at the BSAA headquarters with Chris had been the best thing Piers had felt in years. At that point, Piers...Chris...Piers figured it probably wasn't much of a secret among the other members of their BSAA team. Despite this, Piers had received no snide comments or teasing jabs. The other men had all said "Welcome back, Captain." and "Good to have you with us, sir." but had let Piers takes Chris to the bedrooms and showers alone. Lending him some shower things, Piers had fidgeted and puttered anxiously around the room, waiting for Chris to come out. He felt ridiculous as he did it, as though Chris were a stranger that he had to fight to impress all over again.
Piers hadn't had any expectations of Chris, but when Chris had wrapped his arms around him drawing him into a kiss, Piers made no move to protest. Although Piers hated the term, he couldn't think of any way to describe that reunion with Chris other than making love, because that felt precisely what it was. Leading Piers to the bed, Chris had pulled him on top of him, kissing and stroking him, whispering apologies to Piers while Piers took him from behind. Chris had begged him to forgive him, to take him, and Piers had obliged every order. He had kissed Chris's neck, shoulders, back, telling him it was okay in between moans and gasps of long awaited pleasure. When their release had come it did so simultaneously, leaving both men shaking and exhausted, Piers rolling onto the bed and Chris had come to rest on his chest, pulling their bodies together tightly as they were now.
"I can't." Piers heard the ache in his captain's voice, and swallowed hard.
"You can. I know you can. What happened...it was hard." A moment went by, but Piers pushed on. "It wasn't your fault. You did what any good captain would've done in your position. And I…" Piers felt the threat of tears stinging against his eyes and he blinked them away, clenching his teeth and looking away.
"...what is it Piers?" Chris lifted his head up slightly, and Piers couldn't bring himself to meet his eyes. Nibbling his lip and staring out the window into the night sky, Piers fought with himself over what to say and how to say it. He had never been good at admitting he was wrong.
"I'm sorry for how harsh I was." He whispered, thinking of how he'd lectured Chris in the bar. The things he'd said and the way he'd snapped...it wasn't just that he was talking to his captain like that, but that it was Chris. Chris who trusted and cared for him and who had suffered through so much. Piers had lectured him as though his breakdown were his own fault, and it hadn't been. Piers had wanted nothing more than for Chris to return to normal and rejoin the BSAA; rejoin Piers, that he had been desperate enough to say anything.
"Don't be." Chris reached up and cupped Piers's cheek, bringing his face back towards his own and propping himself up to look him in the eye. "I deserved it. I deserved everything you said and more."
"No, no you didn't." Piers shook his head, liking the feel of Chris's hand on his face but feeling the guilt eating away at the corner of his mind. "You went through a really hard loss, and I lectured you as if you chose to forget."
"I did choose, in a way." Chris brought his brows together, working out how best to explain his feelings to Piers when he could hardly understand them. "I could have stayed with you, but I didn't. I could have listened to you, to the BSAA, but I didn't. I chose to run. I chose to drink and fight and hide, instead of try to understand everything I went through. I chose to forget, and you chose to bring me back."
Piers swallowed heavily and leaned forward to meet Chris, kissing him deeply and sliding his hand from his hair to his cheek. Feeling Chris hesitate against his lips, Piers tentatively ran his tongue along Chris's lip, and his captain responded by shifting his weight up and deepening the kiss. Drawing each other closer together made Piers sigh softly against his captain's lips, the weight of him shifting, warming him more, and his body trembled at the feeling of hard muscle running across exposed skin.
Kissing Chris like this was all Piers had thought about been spells of anger, frustration, and loss. No other person had made him feel so at peace with himself and with the world when he'd been with them like this, and it was something that had confused Piers at great length when it had first started happening. All Piers knew was that the months where Chris had been gone had been some of the hardest he'd endured, and that on top of wanting his captain and close friend back, Piers wanted back this person who warmed his bed and made him feel better pleasure than he'd ever had. That had been the underlying drive to his search across Europe for Chris, and when he'd banned together with his team-mates, he found that they had been just as eager to bring Chris back home to be their captain once again.
They savored each other a moment, sighing quietly against one another, tongues brushing together and taking in each other's taste. Chris's arms were a vice on either side of Piers, and the younger man trailed his fingers lightly against the skin of his captain's muscled back. Chris shivered beneath him, and nipped Piers's lip lightly and drawing a soft groan from him in response. Between them Piers felt his cock twitch against Chris's stomach, and knew it was all over. They wouldn't be getting to sleep for another while longer, but somehow Piers didn't care about it as Chris shifted his weight against him and he felt his captain's erection pressed hard against his thigh. Adjusting himself on top of Piers, Chris propped himself up on his forearms and knees, leaning down over Piers to continue the kisses and moving a hand to cup Piers's shoulder.
Chris began lightly trailing his fingertips down Piers's arms, to the wrists and back up to his shoulders, playing over the muscles that existed under the skin and making Piers shiver. God, it was intoxicating when Chris touched him like that. All of his brawny strength being held back and he was so gentle that Piers barely felt him. Moving his own hands down Chris's back to rest at his sides, Piers kneaded the toned form under his touch. Keeping one hand on his shoulder, Chris traced his other across his collarbone, down his pecs and lightly across his abs making Piers tremble slightly. Keeping up the kiss Piers nipped Chris's lip and made him lean back, giving Piers a playful, small smile before leaning in to kiss him again, tongue immediately finding its way back to where it had been teasing Piers. In response Piers slid a hand up Chris's back to run his fingers through his short hair, bringing the other hand up to hold his shoulder. As Chris trailed his fingers down across Piers's hips, Piers jerked in response to the touch and felt their erections brush against each other and drawing a soft moan from each of them.
Everything about this was intimate and sensual, nothing like the rough fucks Piers had gotten used to in the training academies. Guys, girls...it hadn't really mattered to him as long as he'd gotten what he wanted in the end. What had confused Piers so much about Chris were the longing feelings he had when it had ended. Piers had never worried before that it might have been nothing more than a work hook up; hadn't wanted it to be that with Chris. So when Chris had started tugging Piers aside, trailing kisses along his neck and letting Piers ambush him in the showers and washroom stalls, Piers had been thrilled. It was more than just the physical stuff, though what it was exactly Piers still couldn't decide. But he had feelings for Chris, more than just a deep lust for his captain, and those feelings came out when he was with him like this. Those feelings had especially made themselves known in those six drawn out months of Chris's absence, settling in his heart and making him miss his captain something fierce. He knew Chris felt something for him to as it became apparent the he wanted something more out of Piers. Training together, talking for hours after work, the way Chris touched and kissed and moved against Piers, all of it meant something more.
Moving his hand lower, Chris trailed his fingers lightly along Piers's thigh, first the right and then the left, making his way over the muscle and giving gentle squeezes every now and then. Piers settled his shoulders against the bed, feeling another shiver move through his body as he gently moved his hips to make himself rub against Chris again. Practically trembling with anticipation, Piers nearly cried out when he felt Chris move his hand to his cock. Calloused fingers tracing gently over the taut skin, curving around and giving him a gentle but firm stroke. Piers pulled away from the kiss to look up at Chris, who gave him another small smile as he circled his thumb over the tip of Piers's length, swiping the pre-cum that was gathering there and using it to make his hand glide against him and drawing out another low groan from Piers.
"God, you are so sexy when you do that..." Chris mumbled, leaning forward to suck gently at the skin on his sniper's neck. Shuddering and closing his eyes, Piers felt his heart skip when Chris spoke, feeling another wave of arousal at the low, husky way that Chris had said it. Leaning his head to the side, he let himself be momentarily lost in the sensations that were making their way throughout his body. Pulling away from his neck, Chris traced his nose against his ear. "I missed you even when I couldn't remember you."
Piers sighed softly at these words, turning his head so he could kiss Chris's cheek and move his lips to his captain's ear. Chris wasn't lying either. All through everything, the amnesia, the blackout nights, the confused buzzing in his brain, there had been this longing desire lingering; a deep need for someone he didn't know. A need for someone that he couldn't place, a sadness that had settled among the confusion and anger. He had suspected that somehow, part of his mind had stayed attached to Piers, hoping beyond anything that he would find him and bring him back.
"You have no idea how much I missed you." Piers whispered, letting his head fall back as Chris resumed the kisses along his neck and the firm, paced strokes between his legs. Everything Chris was doing to him felt so good that he thought it would drive him insane if he stopped. Earlier had been frantic, desperate, needy and filled with shallow breathing and desperate kisses. As if they'd just needed to rush through it to make up for all the lost time; to make sure it could still be the same. Now it was slow. It was intimate and purposeful, with Chris wanting to show just how sorry he was for what he had done to Piers. The words 'I'm sorry' had been murmured over and over again during their frantic love-making earlier, but now Chris was making sure he embedded the words into Piers's skin. He wanted to make sure that he apologized to every inch of him, wanted Piers to know how grateful he was for him.
Chris trailed the kisses to his shoulder, stroking his cock gently and methodically and making Piers's breath shallow as he lay with his eyes closed. Piers was tracing his fingers along Chris's biceps, up to his shoulder, brushing his hair and moving back down again as Chris trailed his lips lightly across his chest. Short little pecks against the younger's skin became more definite kisses as he made his way to his toned stomach. There was a soft rustling of bedsheets and Chris shifted himself lower, stroking Piers and letting the tip of his cock rub against his chest as he continued kissing Piers. Across his abs and down the trail to his stomach, making his way to his hips and causing Piers to shiver in anticipation. Although they acted on equal terms in the bedroom, Piers was usually the one to initiate sex and often ended up being too eager to let Chris return any of his favors. Feeling Chris moving his mouth across him so slowly and pointedly made Piers's heart race wildly and he jerked his hips against his captain's hand. Holding back a soft laugh, Chris looked up at Piers as he moved his kisses around where his hand was jerking him off, giving him slight teasing nips of the sensitive skin of his hips and making Piers squirm.
Moving his hand off of Piers, Chris replaced the caressing with a drag of his tongue from the base of his cock to the tip, running it along the sensitive slit at the top and lapping up the fresh beads of pre-cum that had formed there. Above him Piers groaned, and raise his hips off the bed, hands forming fists against the sheets and arching his back against the mattress. Chris watched this reaction with pleasure, gently licking the tip of his cock again, wrapping his hand around the base and giving it a squeeze as he did so. Grasping the sheets tighter, a slight shiver ran through Piers who groaned again, biting his lip. Swirling his tongue around the tip, Chris kept his gaze up to focus on Piers and watch his reaction as he took the head between his lips and gave a gentle suck, pressing his tongue flat against it and making Piers gasp.
"Mmmf, Chris..." his voice was a hoarse whisper and one of his hands untangled from the sheets to come and rest on Chris's shoulder, kneading the muscle there and squirming against the sheets. Keeping his hand wrapped tight around the base of his cock, Chris moved his other hand to hold his thigh and gave another light dip of his mouth against the tip. Piers ran his fingers through his hair, and Chris could tell he was struggling not to push down on his head as he grasped at the sheets tighter, arching his back again. "Chris please, please just let me feel you..."
Not one to make Piers beg, at least not this evening, Chris obliged by slipping the length of Piers's cock into his mouth, moving until he felt it brush the cheek near the back of his throat and drawing a long, low moan from Piers. His fingers tightened in Chris's hair and he propped himself up on his forearm to watch every move his captain made. Chris sucked Piers off slowly at first, moving his head against his length, squeezing the base of his cock, running his tongue flat along the underside all the while making Piers moan and lift his hips to meet his mouth. He kept this up for a bit, moving his hand from the base of his cock to his balls and giving them a gentle squeeze, before pulling away to run his tongue down the length. Slowly he suckled his sniper's aching balls, taking each into his mouth and giving careful attention, replacing his mouth with his hand once again on the thick, pulsing erection.
Piers had one fist knotted in Chris's hair, the other tangled in the sheets, his knuckles white from grasping on so hard and his back arched with shoulders pressed heavily into the mattress. He kept switching between biting his lip and moaning aloud, watching everything Chris did until he felt him give attention to his aching testicles, dropping his head back and closing his eyes in sheer pleasure. Chris was going just slow enough that he wasn't at risk of cumming, but that didn't stop pre-cum from producing an almost continuous stream from trailing out of his tip. This was one of the best feelings he'd had in...well, possibly forever. Except maybe the first time Chris had taken him into his bedroom, but this time was different even from that.
Chris placed his hands Piers's thighs, pushing them apart further and hooking his arms around to give a slight lift to his hips. Looking up at Piers he began trailing light kisses along the insides of his thighs and making Piers whine, longing for the warm contact of his mouth again. Chris moved between his thighs, using a hand to stroke Piers again while he slid his tongue up the seam of his balls, before going lower and flicking it against the tight, warm hole underneath. Gasping and jerking his hips, Piers opened his eyes to look down at Chris again.
"Oh yes, god yes, Chris that feels so good..." Feeling his own rock hard cock twitch up against his stomach, Chris repeated the action, drawing his tongue up along it slowly, before tracing the tight circle of his asshole, fingers kneading one thigh while his other hand wrapped around his cock. Groaning again, tightening his grip on the sheets, Piers jerked his hips against Chris's hand, desperate for more, just wanting Chris to be inside of him. He needed Chris to be inside of him, it was the only thing he hadn't felt in six months. He wasn't even worried that it might hurt after so long, he just wanted the connection with his captain back, to seal that everything was okay and that it would be like it was.
Pressing his tongue lightly against the hole, Chris made sure to use as much saliva as he could, knowing that he was prepping Piers and that after so long apart it might be not be as easy. Using more pressure, Chris pressed his tongue against Piers's entrance again, this time feeling it enter slightly and making Piers moan and buck his hips harshly.
"Chris please...I need you..." Piers groaned, and Chris felt a pulse of deep longing for the younger man that made him shiver, and he finally pulled away from Piers, not bothering to kiss back up along his torso out of desperation to meet his lips again. When their lips met, Piers wrapped his arms around Chris and pulled him tightly down against him, slipping his tongue into the kiss and using his legs to pull Chris down and close to where he wanted him.
Grunting slightly, Chris reached between them and slid the dripping tip of his cock against Pier's ass, moving it up and down and feeling the dampness of his saliva mixing with his precum, making the entrance slick and ready. Heart racing in lust and need, Chris hesitated, brows creasing slightly and pulling away from the kiss.
"It...it might hurt...a bit. It ached earlier when you..." Looking down at Piers he saw the younger man's eyes burning with desire and Chris knew there wasn't anything in the world that was going to stop Piers from wanting him right now.
"I don't care. Chris, I don't care I just need to feel you, please..." The desire in Piers's voice made any reservations completely leave his mind, and all Chris wanted was to give him what he wanted. Leaning forward and kissing him again, Chris pressed his cock to the wet entrance, pushing forward with some force and feeling him slip inside after some resistance and making them both groan low and deep against the kiss. Chris had been right, it did ache, but it wasn't nearly as bad as the first time he'd ever been penetrated and it still felt incredible. Pulling his arms around Chris, Piers kissed him deeply and arched his back. Chris was kissing Piers back with equal intensity, running a hand through his hair and gripping the bed for leverage with the other.
Thrusting in and out of Piers steadily, Chris reached down to hook his arms around his thighs, pulling his hips up and into him. Lifting his head to watch Chris, Piers groaned and looked up at his captain, running a hand down the muscled torso before coming to his abandoned cock and jerking himself off. Watching as Piers did this, Chris leaned down to kiss Piers again, the new angle making him enter deeper, hitting that perfect spot inside Piers that made him yell in pleasure.
"Right there, Chris," he moaned, clutching onto Chris's arm and whispering against his kiss, "Fuck, right there right there, yes yes yes..."
Encouraged by the whispered words, Chris moved his hand to join the younger's around his cock, stroking him with each fluid movement of their hands matching that of the thrusting Chris made into his tight entrance. Both men were moaning softly, breathing heavily against one another now. Their kissing was getting more and more erratic and Piers abandoned jerking himself off to wrap his arms around Chris, digging his fingers into the skin of his back.
"Fuck, Piers, you feel so good..."
"Oh god, Chris, I - ah, fuck, I don't know...how much longer..."
"Piers, are you...I'm going to..." Grunting, Chris could feel his balls tightening and gave the throbbing cock beneath him a firm squeeze and that was all it took. Piers cried out loudly, hips jerking upwards as his back arched and warm cum shot onto his stomach. His body trembled with his orgasm, and his dripping cock was twitching against his stomach, sticky with his seed. No more than a few seconds and only another couple of thrusts did Piers feel Chris grip his thigh tightly and groan a deep, masculine sound as Piers felt him cum inside of him.
Piers was too spent and lost within the afterglow of his orgasm to feel much beyond that. His ass was aching and his cock was pulsing, the rest of his body lost in a sort of tingling numbness. Feeling Chris slide out of him his body gave a soft tremble, and his heart was still slamming too hard in his ears to register much. Lying among the tangled sheets and strewn pillows, Piers let his hand loosen around the blankets with numb fingers from gripping it so tightly. A thin sheen of sweat covered his forehead but he was too exhausted to care much. He felt Chris move apart from him and felt a small tug of emptiness, but the weight of him on the bed never left. A moment later Piers felt a tissue being swiped across his stomach and he opened sleepy eyes to watch Chris toss it onto the floor, smiling.
"What would I do without you to take care of me, huh?" He mumbled. Chris lay back onto the pillows with a small smile, holding his arm out to Piers who rolled over and slid an arm across Chris's stomach. Pulling him close, he felt Chris bury his face in his hair and kiss the top of his head. Drowsiness weighed heavy on his eyes which started to drift shut the moment he settled against him.
"Seems like you did alright." Chris said. His voice had a weight of emotions, regret and sadness being the two most prominent that Piers could identify. They lay in sleepy silence of a few moments, Piers listening to the rhythmic thumping of Chris's heart, wrapped safely in his arms. Piers let his eyes drift shut and he traced his fingers lightly along the dips and valleys of Chris's arm. His mind was a dull chatter and his emotions were all over the place. Nibbling his lip, he opened his eyes heavily.
"Do you remember anything?" His voice a quiet whisper against the skin of his captain's chest, and Chris lay silent for several moments and Piers almost thought he had fallen asleep.
"It's coming back, but slowly." Chris mumbled. His had was absently stroking Piers's hair and the younger man wondered if he should just drop it. Sure, Chris was back, but he wasn't recovered, not fully anyways. Piers figured it would be hard for him, but his greatest fear had been that Chris just wouldn't remember. He had lain awake several nights when they had found Chris, heart pounding and sweaty with anxiety that Chris wouldn't be as he had been before.
"What do you remember...or, would you rather not talk about it?" Chris was silent a moment, and Piers took it to mean he didn't want to discuss it. Closing his eyes, he settled against Chris, feeling him breathing deeply, breath tickling down his neck with each exhale. He had begun drifting to sleep in earnest when he felt Chris take a breath.
"Just...random images. Like flashes or my head there's all this sound and light and chaos, like an explosion of images from a movie or something." There was a frown in his voice. "But it's there. Mostly, I just remember how I feel about it all." Piers bit his lip, frowning sleepily. He debated dropping it; a recently recovering alcoholic with anger issues and guilt about his past didn't seem like the best person to pester about the amnesia he'd recently begun to recover from. But Piers knew it would just eat at his mind and keep him from totally relaxing.
"And what about me? Did you...remember how you felt about me?" Piers's voice was scarcely above a whisper, partly because of how fast sleep was coming upon him, and partly because he was afraid of the answer. Chris was quiet so long Piers was afraid he was going to say he didn't remember at all.
"A part of me remembered...something. Not you, specifically, but how I felt about you..." Chris paused, working out how to explain it to Piers. "It's like I knew that I cared for someone, but it felt more like you were a memory. The way you suddenly think of a movie character or something, years and years after you've seen the movie. I remembered that I felt...something. But you, your name...how I knew you, who you were...that was all blank."
"It's okay..." Piers murmured, rubbing his thumb in a light circle, yawning against Chris's chest.
"I remember you now. You were one of the first things I fully remembered. You don't feel like a memory anymore." Chris stroked Piers's back, and Piers felt himself dozing off, smiling lightly against his captain.
"And what do I feel like now, captain?"
"You feel like home."