A/N: This is a fanfic drabble based on Charlie Amos & Justin Bancroft from CP Coulter's "Dalton" (It is written from Chaz' point of view)
Disclaimer: I do not own Dalton, Glee or these characters, but I do love them.
How was I supposed to live without him? How could his father do this to us? I love him. Why was it so hard for people to accept? When someone holds such an important piece of you, how are you supposed to just let them go?
I couldn't find the right worlds to say when Justin told me he couldn't be with me any longer. I just choked. The pain in my chest just kept stinging like nothing I've ever felt before. I was losing him. I was losing the one person who made me whole. Justin's parents are aristocrats; they care about public opinion. They are about reputations and stereotypes. Having a gay son would just be a disgrace. I knew it wasn't Justin's fault that he had to leave. I know he was doing it to protect me…us. It just hurt. Everything seemed dull, pointless, and useless. I didn't want to be prefect anymore. I didn't want to go to classes. I didn't want to be a leader. I was empty. I was crushed. I was broken.
I didn't have any concrete answers; no idea when I would see him again, if even that. I just knew that his father was close to finding out our secret and it wasn't safe to be together anymore. As much as it pained me to see Justin walk out the door, I knew it was for the best. I didn't want him to suffer. I didn't want him to live a lie. I didn't want him to hide this part of his life any longer. It was nice while it lasted, I suppose. However, I don't think I'll ever be able to let him go. Sure, I let him walk out of Dalton…but not out of my heart. A love like ours won't disappear or fade away that quickly. I want to keep his memory alive, at least for my sake. How was I supposed to continue out this year without my King of Switzerland? I needed him. He was a part of me. I couldn't bear the thought of being alone.
I'll wait for him. Maybe if I wait long enough, he'll come back to me. Perhaps he'll escape his father's clutches? Or Laura will find a way to bring him back to me? I need that hope. If I don't have hope, what else do I have to live for?
I miss his chestnut brown hair. I miss those inviting, ocean blue eyes that always made me feel alive. I miss the rough touch of his fingertips caressing against my skin. I miss the musky scent of his aftershave. I miss the way he made me trip over my words. He was the only one who could check me off guard. Damn that bamf Bancroft, always faltering my dapper exterior.
Thank Castiel I don't have a roommate. I would have driven them insane with my depressing playlist on repeat. I need an outlet; otherwise, I'll be sitting on my bed sulking for the rest of the year. I couldn't let the boys see me. Windsor was enough of a hassle to deal with on a good day. I couldn't let my guard down. Who knows what the Tweedles would do if they saw their Queen of Hearts' walls crumbing. All hell would break loose and Dwight would be performing exorcisms to no end. I had to maintain composure. But while I was alone, I could breakdown. It was just me. No one else could judge me, apart from myself.
Was it so cruel to want him? It wasn't like I was asking for much, just my other half. Two prefects reunited again so their love could rule once more. What was the harm in that?