You all hate me now, don't you?
If it means anything, I avoid naming the 'naughty' parts. I have a limit to my bad writing, believe it or not.
48. Young
"I know you're mine, all mine, all mine."
Capturing moments is like trying to stop water from slipping out of your fingers.
It's very hard, with or without a camera, to remember every moment that you tell yourself you won't forget. Just like it's hard to prevent water from dripping out that one tiny gap between your cupped fingers.
So they hope to remember the tiny moments forever, because they're young and they think they will never forget.
Ever.
Their lips separated, the light hand of the Britannian slipping from the face of the Japanese boy in front of him.
"How likely do you think it is for us to get caught?" the brunette said slowly, not bothering to create any reasonable distance between the pinker and softer lips of the slightly younger boy and his own chapped (from his biting them so much during class.) ones.
Rolling his magenta eyes, Rolo sighed. "Suzaku, really?"
"What, I'm just saying," he laughed, "Do you have any idea how mad Lelouch would be?"
"I-I try not to think too much about it… Really…" Rolo murmured, leaning back some and narrowing his eyes. He was smiling though, in a thoughtful way. "I'm sure he'd be… Be alright with it, I mean… After a bit, that is… erm…"
Suzaku saved him the trouble of continuing the thought, stealing another kiss with an airy breath.
"Relax, I was just-"
And he was swiftly toppled forward towards Rolo, the Britannian's hands loosely hanging onto the cotton fabric of Suzaku's white dress shirt. His arms on either side of Rolo's shoulders, Suzaku was looking mildly surprised, staring down at Rolo with wide eyes.
"-You should be glad I caught myself."
"…Because you weigh so much?" Rolo attempted to manage in some tone of 'coy' voice, a curious expression crossing his face.
"…Thanks for calling me fat."
"I-I meant…" He paused, sighing and furrowing his eyebrows. "I'm bad at this."
"…Were you trying to imply something?" the Japanese questioned, a small grin on his face, one of his eyebrows raised. Rolo opened his mouth to reply, but instead looked somewhere off to the side, most likely at the pale cream walls of the bedroom, blushing.
"It's no good… now." He said, shaking his head. Shifting, he let his hands drop away from Suzaku's arms, and propped himself up on his elbows.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to ruin it for you."
"You didn't ruin it, I-I'm just… N-Not very good with this stuff." Rolo pressed their lips together, a bit more forceful than the first couple of times, "Sorry."
And now it was Suzaku's turn to be bothered with a frown. "There's nothing to be sorry for," he leaned forward some, letting his mouth touch the curve of Rolo's jaw, causing the smaller boy to give a light shiver. "I'm not going to make fun of you or anything, and it's not like you ruined…"
It was curious how often the younger student needed assurance of something. He would reach out, and then pull away quickly. His eyes would always seem to attempt to gleam over his inward doubt of the situation, and Suzaku would always hold him close and tell him (over and over if it took it.) that he loved him and that it was okay because…
He was patient. Suzaku was patient as love should be.
"…Hey," he murmured, moving one of his hands off the mattress and using it to gently hold Rolo's chin and turn the boy's face towards his.
"Don't you want s-someone who—" Suzaku's hand slowly moved from the boy's chin to his cheek, deepening the third interruption kiss. (At this rate, Rolo was wondering if he should just be quiet.) His green eyes narrowed, waiting and silently willing that his (in his opinion.) stupid means of reassuring Rolo would work.
And it did. When he closed his eyes and started to pull away, the assassin was quick in catching his lips, again and keeping pace for-
One,
Two,
Three,
"-Hey, hey!" the knight mumbled quietly in the brief pause. He moved back so he could kneel some in front of the bed, should incase he accidentally lose his balance (and maybe strength) and actually fall on top of the Britannian given their previous positions.
Rolo, however, was oddly keen on getting started on something, his failure at trying to cover it up before not withstanding. He sat up straight again, snatching Suzaku's now-free hands and lacing their fingers together tightly and let a sheepish expression rest on his face.
"T-too much?"
And barely missing a beat, Suzaku said what was on his mind.
"Too slow."
Rolo turned red for a moment, glancing away again and looked just about to draw back into himself (as he usually did.) when Suzaku spoke once more.
"N-Not like that!"
"…Then…?"
Suzaku paused and gulped some, correcting his posture to be more rigid. "…I shouldn't have said that out loud."
"…Should I… Uhmn…"
"I- er, it's fine. I just… Yeah…"
Silence.
Awkward silence.
Rolo looked slightly impatient for once. "Suzaku, lean… no, come closer, please?"
"…Sure," he said slowly, complying and moving to sit beside Rolo on the edge of the mattress. "…Why did you want me to…"
Dropping off was his own intention to begin with, but it was a lot more realistic with the look Rolo was giving him.
He was now weighing out if his quiet companion happened to be bipolar or not.
When they connected their lips again after a hesitant move by Rolo, Suzaku wondered briefly if they missed a step, because it was foreign (though not something they hadn't done previously, having purposely toned down their relationship when they started all of this seriously.) to feel another tongue in the occupation of his mouth.
Not entirely unpleasant, though, once he eased into the feeling and slowly (ever so slowly) allowed himself to return in the pent-up… Spin of emotions he had. Was it passion or love or sexual frustration? He wasn't entirely sure, but he just knew that-
Breaking off to instead give shorter, smaller kisses, Rolo moved back further onto the bed, so they were away from the precarious edge and tugged Suzaku closer.
"—I-I can do that." He whispered between breaths, glancing at door with a flash of worry before returning his attention to Suzaku. (Who needless to say was a mixture of startled, curious, and if at all possible for him at this moment turned-on. But only enough that this kissing business was starting to have a much more electric feel to it than before.)
Although, Suzaku was wondering just what Rolo was feeling, given his sudden flip in attitude. Did he feel threatened by Suzaku's comment? Did he think he had to prove something? Did he just… want like Suzaku did, and – oh wait, someone wants my shirt off.
"Are you sure you want-" he blinked as Rolo somehow undid all of the buttons at an alarming rate. The look on his face was cross between determination and frustration as he pushed Suzaku onto his back. "…Rolo..?"
"..E-er, yes, Suzaku?"
"…Are you…" He didn't know what he wanted to say. They stared at each other again, completely halted in what they did. "…Are… we…?"
Rolo moved to perch himself on Suzaku's hips, straddling him while they both tried to figure out what to do next.
"…I… we can… If you want…" he said slowly, idly making marks on Suzaku's chest with his fingernails.
Both of them were thinking about just how weird this was to discuss. Usually… People played this off like it just… came to you…right?
"-Ow..!"
"A-ah, sorry!" Rolo sputtered, pulling his hands up to his own chest quickly. Wincing, Suzaku leaned up on his elbows.
"It's not bleeding or something is it?"
Pause.
Both of them turned their attention to the small cut just below Suzaku's nipple
"…I can kiss it and make it better?"
"… …D-did you just-?"
With the two of them blushing as much as they were, it was getting harder and harder to imagine going anywhere serious.
And with this, Suzaku found himself learning an interesting fact:
When no one else would do something, Rolo certainly would. Which was why the Japanese shuddered due to the sensation of wetted lips grazing across the cut, then slowly up to his collarbone, various kisses and small bites littering the way. He didn't really stop himself from hesitantly arching up some, tilting his head to the side just enough to give the smaller boy space.
"Do you wear cologne?" Rolo mumbled quietly against Suzaku's neck, breathing calmly despite inwardly fighting off very strange emotions he had never even believed existed.
"…N-not really. Why…?"
Rolo shook his head, pulling away so he could locate Suzaku's lips again and bring them together with his, giving both of them a mild jolt at the sudden needling sensation that started to burn in their throats.
The small pauses between the kisses allowed Rolo just enough time to locate one of Suzaku's hands as it moved to touch his face, and he quickly grabbed the hand at the wrist, holding it aside.
"—H-hey, lie down," Rolo breathed, waiting almost in frustration for Suzaku to comply before they started again, every touch and brief contact deepening more and more until they found themselves again with their tongues caught together, pushing against one another.
And the feeling was smooth and hot, both of them not necessarily looking for dominance over the other, but just trying to keep up the fight long enough for their bodies and minds to adjust to what they had wanted to do for so long, yet had resisted.
Suzaku felt the hands return to his wrists, Rolo's fingers tugging at the cuffs of the shirt that they had yet to officially remove. Guiding Suzaku's hands blindly (out of fear of stopping the friction between their tongues if he chose to look down.), Rolo managed to place them on the slope between the end of his ribcage and the start of his hips.
He must have been getting more sensitive throughout this, because it was easy to feel every individual finger clench while Suzaku pulled the fabric of Rolo's shirt, pulling him closer with vague input of force.
Suzaku was desperately trying to find some place in this to get the throbbing in his head- or was it somewhere else? He couldn't tell anymore- to stop. It wasn't painful but it wasn't entirely pleasant. It was aggravating, feeling the weight of the boy on his hips, and yet being unable to feel him entirely. Every touch he seemed to hope he would be able to get closer to the Britannian, but every time it…
He felt the sharp little nails on Rolo's fingers find their way down to his stomach, not cutting or scratching, but they were skimming just enough for Suzaku's breath to catch
'…That's… Why would that…?'
"You… You alright?" Rolo started, pulling away just enough to speak, only to be suddenly startled by Suzaku's hands pushing their way under the cloth of Rolo's shirt. Firm, (albeit dry) hands feeling and tracing the vague line of his hips, making him tense up slightly before he began to move his digits away from Suzaku's stomach.
"W…Wait, keep your… Hands there-I—" The Japanese seemed to be embarrassed saying anything, trying to distract himself by finding the buckle of Rolo's belt and beginning to fiddle with the cold metal to take it off, wincing at the initial touch.
"-Ahmn…" The assassin seemed to forget what to do with himself, his breathing quickening with a new suspense. 'Are we really…?'
"Do… You want… want me to do anything—"
One,
Two,
Three-
"No, just—please, I want…" His thoughts were starting a collective pile-up around why it was suddenly so hard to get this belt undone, and it was showing on his face in a way that was making it hard for Rolo not to start laughing.
"…Suzaku, I can-"
"I can get this, don't…"
Rolo sighed lightly, letting Suzaku continue fumbling with the strap. He was starting to feel a bit… Lost. There seemed to be a start-up and stop of what they were doing, and right now he didn't know what to do.
So he did the first thing that came to mind.
Sliding his hands down Suzaku's tanned stomach, he lightly felt the spaces between the Japanese's abs with his fingertips, steadying his breathing and trying to not think about how he might seriously lose his 'virginity' in that sense.
Not that he didn't want Suzaku taking it, it's just it's a very odd predicament when you don't respond well to the feelings of lust or passion, or don't derive the same pleasure from this as most people do.
By that, in a circle, Rolo was very uncertain if this would feel the same to him as it did most people. So he turned his attention to trying to make Suzaku enjoy this as much as he possibly could.
He heard the sound of the leather belt finally coming undone, and moved to take off Suzaku's, making sure to just briefly touch the skin along the way enough to see the knight flinch.
"I-I can get my shirt, if you want me to…" Rolo murmured, having a much easier time with this belt business than Suzaku had.
"It's fine, let me—" leaning up, Suzaku tried to keep his face straight while he pulled on Rolo's collar, signaling for the boy to bend closer while he worked on the buttons. He didn't remember himself being very clumsy with clothing before, so why now?
Watching the final button come out of the little hole in the clothing, he lowered his eyelids some, nuzzling the slope of Rolo's neck while he slid the top off, slowly, not in any hurry.
(Even though inside… Inside he really wanted to rush. He wanted to feel more than...)
There was a quiet noise that came from Rolo, surprising him some.
"Hey, we don't… I mean, if…" he pressed his lips against whatever part of Rolo's neck he could, trying to relax him again.
Rolo turned his head, touching his nose just barely against Suzaku's hair. (Why did he smell so good? Was he just really clean or…?) "N-no, I'm just…" he brought his arms around the knight's neck, holding him close. "…You're… I wish I could…"
Suzaku heard his heart in his ears, beating way too fast for the boy looking to slow this down. His hands moved to the small of Rolo's back, touching and tracing and following the line of the prettily arched vertebrae.
There was far too much longing in him for his own good.
"…This is… I like this…" Suzaku began quietly, "But… I'm not going to force it on you… So please tell me…"
"…I… No, let's…" Suzaku was almost sure he felt something in him jump. "…I-I want to, so…"
"You're… sure?"
Rolo nodded his head, pulling away so he could look at Suzaku's eyes… for a moment, then he rather nervously darted them away.
"Mmn."
"…Really."
He looked back at Suzaku, furrowing his eyebrows. "Y…You don't belie—ah!"
And now it seemed there was a reversal. Blinking a few times, Rolo laid on the bed, staring up at Suzaku after being pushed gently off his hips.
"…The sheets smell like Downy." He finally said, trying to break the silence as Suzaku choked back a laugh. "—w-what, it's nice…"
Pleasantly stopped by a kiss, Rolo made a noise of approval from the back of his throat.
Suzaku shook his head when they broke apart, pulling away so he could sit.
"…Can I be honest about something?"
"…Yeah, anything, Suzaku." Rolo murmured, leaning up and placing one of his hands on Suzaku's shoulder.
Despite the things he wanted, he had no idea how to go about… Doing any of it. Not in the sense he didn't… know, but it was just a bit awkward thinking it through. He knew what had to be done, he just… Didn't know how to do it without being caught in the moment like they had been previously.
"…I'm not… Uhmn… entirely sure how to…"
Desire was a nasty thing to not know how to please.
"…Neither a-am I."
…
They had a lot of pauses, didn't they? They finally agreed to do this and now it's suddenly too weird to try and go further than this.
Rolo turned to look at the bedside table, standing up from the bed and going to get something out of it while Suzaku watched rather curiously.
"S-so, I'll… er," he pulled a tube out of the drawer, sighing, and tossed it onto the wood of the table before moving over to the bed and kissing Suzaku again, pushing him onto the mattress again. "I can… lead u-until you…" He dropped off, not sure of how to continue.
"O-oh,"
"…You… have to get into it…"
And that helped relieve a lot of the nervous, strange hesitation that Suzaku had. Maybe it was just the thought of both of them being lost and feeling like they both knew the solution to it. Maybe it was because it finally registered – to both of them- that they were going to do this together, and that meant that even if they messed up a few times in the set-up, it was fine because they weren't going to laugh at each other. They would end up laughing with each other.
Love was patient.
Love also knew that you look and act ridiculous to express it.
Desire just knew how to make you feel stuck and frustrated. (Even though it felt great sometimes.)
He took a deep breath, relaxed his shoulders back, closed his eyes for a moment, and their lips crashed together – the feeling very sweet and light at first. Suzaku had to ease to the feeling he had before, the throbbing, the odd feverish feeling as they deepened the kisses one at a time.
His hands were only slightly less useless than they had been previously, holding lightly onto Rolo's forearms, while Rolo's own hands kept him from falling entirely on top of Suzaku.
It didn't take very long for Suzaku to gain enough confidence and tighten the grip he had on Rolo's arms, holding onto him while they turned over so Suzaku was in whatever 'rightful' position he needed to be in.
One of his hands dragged down the soft, cream-colored flesh along Rolo's side, finding the fabric of his black jeans and stopping at the start of his thigh. He swallowed while their foreheads rested lightly together, feeling the familiar burning sensation slipping through his veins while he oh-so-slowly slid his hand to the underside of Rolo's thigh, digging his fingers into the denim (Causing Rolo to jump some, giving him reason to relax his grip.) and tugging it down as best as he could.
"-Sorry,"
"—I-it's—" Rolo wrapped his arms back around Suzaku's neck, his fingernails pressing marks into the back. He was having such a hard time believing this was happening… Or, maybe just he was afraid of letting himself go enough to truly enjoy this. It was sort of hypocritical, given what he said not too long ago…
It took a few minutes of pulling at the jeans, thanks to their frequent moving and adjusting (mainly to stop Suzaku's arm from getting too tired.), to get them off and dropped of the side of the bed to rest on the floor.
"W-w…wait…" Rolo stuttered, removing his arms from Suzaku and instead setting his hands on the stronger chest of the boy above him…then to the Japanese's sides, feeling the rise and fall of his ribcage from the deeper breathing while his blood pumped faster.
He felt… afraid, almost. It was a trembling, bizarre sense of anxiety as his fingers dragged down, leaving a few thin, red trails on the tanner skin while he tried to ease his own breathing.
Rolo's hands shook, stopping briefly at the small, metal button on Suzaku's jeans.
'It's… too late to back out now, isn't it? …But… I… he…'
It took a split second to undo the button and unzip the zipper, slipping his hands to the lower portion of Suzaku's back (He was a lot stronger than him, and the fact he wasn't using it against Rolo at all was surprising to the pawn.) and under the thick cloth of the jeans, blindly trying to work the material downward.
Rolo could hear Suzaku's hands clench in the sheets of the bed, his body rigid and his breathing choked, as it would speed up and then slow.
And the silence was killing both of them at an agonizing rate.
"… … You need to get…" pink eyes darted off to the beside table, the darker green eyes following before returning back to the smaller boy who had again drawn his hands close to his chest.
Seeing that made Suzaku wonder if Rolo was only doing this because he knew Suzaku wanted to. Even though he had said he was positive, he knew that it wasn't hard for anyone to tell a lie.
His head turned the direction of the table again, and just when he moved to get closer to it, he felt the light weight and the vaguely rough texture of Rolo's hand rest on one side of his neck, turning Suzaku's head back towards his own and kissing him delicately on the lips.
"…I… love you… So… Don't worry…"
Something about hearing that both shocked and delighted Suzaku- it was childish, yes. It was wretchedly out of place, of course. But… It made this feel a lot easier, since now they were scarily close to… Or… he was… Was it wrong how comfortable he was with this? With how awkward Rolo was…
"-Right… T…thanks…"
"Mmn."
He moved to the edge of the bed, grabbing the tube of lubricant and taking a long look at it.
…
Long enough that Rolo found the need to move over and peer over Suzaku's shoulder.
"E-er… Sorry. I-uhm… This is a little…"
"…If it helps any, it was a coincidence that was in there."
Suzaku wasn't able to tell if the smile he flashed at Rolo was sarcastic or not, but the boy seemed to be fine either way, just pursing his lips a little and appearing like he was thinking very hard over something.
Shaking his head, Suzaku removed his jeans and let them fall to the floor, moving back onto the center of the bed and still having a difficult time about the lubricant.
Why?
He had no idea.
May or may not of had something to do with the fact he had always expected something else. Or he was just uneasy with the idea of actually applying it with someone watching. (And even onto that someone else.)
Pink made a line across Rolo's face as he… er… 'helpfully' offered something that seems hard to say with a straight face.
"If you …don't want to… I could… erm… That is… put it on… for you… It's not that hard, right?"
Suzaku found himself caught between a rock and a hard place. Or, that's what it felt like to him. Of course, this wasn't going to be just… quick and easy. (Well, it was, it was just… had he been with someone else they could skip this over entirely—not that he regretted it or anything—)
And not knowing what else to say…
"…I-If you want…?"
Rolo sighed.
"The longer we wait… the harder it's going to be for either of us to enjoy this."
"Do you have to put it so bluntly?" Suzaku mumbled, a hint of false despair in his voice. He just wanted to stop the twisting feeling inside of him.
"I'm… just saying… That's… biology…" Rolo dropped off towards the end since he found himself busy looking over the bottle and reading anything it might have to say that would be useful or particularly important.
After the momentary pause, Rolo undid the cap on the tube and pressed some of the gel into his palm. He was silent for a second, closing the hand the lubricant was on and reaching towards the waistline of Suzaku's boxers with the free hand once he had thrown the tube back at the table.
"…This is going to be cold."
"Cold?" Well Suzaku expected that… "How cold—?"
He was not sure how to react to the icy hot feeling (In places he was not used to having that feeling in, mind you) beyond a long gasp.
He also felt sort of wrong to think how much he enjoyed the sensation it gave him, his body's own reaction being to lean into the touch or not. His breathing hitched some, he knew his face was red (From embarrassment or pleasure?), and the familiar prickling sensation was working its way up his spine. His stomach tightened some, and then he was snapped out of his worried thoughts about how awkward Rolo must feel, and how much Rolo must hate him by suddenly registering that the cloth of his boxers was no longer there.
Geeze, Rolo was fast with clothing. He didn't even notice that-
"…H-hey, this is going to sound… sound really weird, but…"
Suzaku couldn't decide if he was struggling to listen intently because he was busy trying to get back into this, or it was because he was into this too much.
"…I-can you not… Could you look in my eyes instead… of…"
…Was he afraid that something was wrong with him…?
"…Y-yeah. Of course… Don't worry…"
He tried to say it convincingly, but in his head he was certain that would be impossible.
"But…" his voice was quivering. He was in a hurry again. "…D-don't you need…?"
Rolo shook his head, wiping the remainder of the gel onto the side of the mattress, idly thinking he was going to have to wash the sheets just because he did that.
"W-won't you… won't it hurt though?" Suzaku began, shifting closer to Rolo, who seemed to be occupied with removing his own underwear.
"Suzaku—eyes… Er, don't worry… it's fine." He added sort of cautiously, worrying he might say the wrong thing. 'It was going to hurt anyways.'
"…If… you're sure…"
"Don't worry," Firmly.
He set his hand back onto the center of Suzaku's chest, keeping his eyes fixed on where his hand was before he moved it upward to the side of the Japanese's face, both of their lips meeting rather tentatively.
Suzaku found it easy to follow Rolo's request, since his eyes were closed for a lot of it anyways. There was a new, frightening thrill to having their skin touch the way it did, to having him be that much closer. One of his hands caught Rolo's free one, binding their fingers together and drawing their hands close to his abdomen, bringing his partner closer by consequence.
The way this was going, everything felt like a blur of some kind. It wasn't the friction that made it that way; it just felt as if everything was suddenly going faster than it had before. (Needless to say, the heat and newer feelings in general were astonishing to both of them, one of them feeling it a bit numbly or not.) Or maybe they had just been in and out of doing this, wanting to do this, and everything that was pent up, while not releasing in a quite spectacular way, was helping drive them away from other thoughts.
Suzaku's other hand was quickly finding its way down Rolo's body until it rested comfortably on his hip again, not being wanting very much of exploring more. Pressing his lips close to the Britannian's throat and kissing it, almost sucking on the creamy white skin, causing Rolo to tilt his head back some, his body curving, wanting, against Suzaku's.
Moving his hand away from Rolo's hip to instead use his lower arm to support the boy's lower back for a moment, Suzaku took a breath and shifted the two of them forward, releasing their hands in the process.
His eyes opened and he wasn't entirely surprised to see Rolo's eyes tightly closed, his breathing erratic like he was fighting off something.
Leaning over him, Suzaku placed a delicate, nearly fluttering kiss against his pinking cheeks, one of his hands moving to comb through Rolo's hair.
"- D… don't worry," Suzaku all-but panted, not sure of what to say exactly. Rolo made a small, almost helpless sounding noise. Not because he was afraid of Suzaku, or didn't trust him. He just didn't understand anything that he was feeling.
He was always so used to having little, clearly separate emotions. But now… Now it felt like a few he didn't even know to begin with were warped together in a hot mess.
Suzaku's lips touched against Rolo's chest- in particular, over his heart, making his eyes open halfway in an almost dazed fashion.
"...Suzaku?"
"-Is… is it okay if…?"
Rolo seemed worried, (and the thought bolted across Suzaku's mind, just briefly and quickly, that maybe Rolo didn't trust him entirely.) but he slowly nodded his head, taking a calming breath before Suzaku started to nip and pull at the various parts of his chest, giving the Britannian reason to curve his body up that much more.
It didn't take very long for him to find his way back up to the shell of Rolo's ear, his own body starting to become restless and desperate with the constant…
"R-Rolo, could… I need you to relax, a-alright?' The boy's hands rested on Suzaku's shoulders, one of them finding use in holding Suzaku's chin while the two boys held their breath in a particularly long but passionate kiss.
"-…Mn." It was getting increasingly hard to, with the hand that wasn't holding Suzaku up touching and caressing whatever part of Rolo's skin it could while it found its way back to the lowest portion of the assassin's spine, helping to expose…
Suzaku found himself panicking in the back of his head what would happen if this hurt Rolo more than the boy reassured him it wouldn't. He didn't want to scar him or cause him any pain or…
He shuddered, almost forgetting to breath with the feeling of being inside of his… Suzaku's eyes widened, though, when he heard Rolo cry out. It wasn't loud, it wasn't quite showing agonizing pain… But it was apparent none-the-less.
"S-sorry..!" Suzaku sputtered, trying to not freak out entirely at the way everything in his body seemed to shift and pick up at an almost scary rate. He was numbly aware of how he tried to hold Rolo closer, even though they were about as close as they could be.
"—N…no, it-" Breath, "Ch-" It felt… It wasn't… Rolo shut his eyes; trying to ignore whatever sensation he was feeling. The trace of pain made him worry automatically – it was just his response- but the way it seemed to fade to something else and slip its way through his entire being made it both unpleasant and frustrating in the sense he didn't understand, and couldn't describe it.
Shifting against Suzaku, he concentrated on that they were physically the most intimate that they had ever been. He concentrated on how it seemed Suzaku was at least feeling something of the same panic when he felt the arm around his back tighten. Most of all, he felt relieved to think that Suzaku had the decency to ask him if this was all right, (Even though Rolo would have gone along with it regardless.) and show concern about him the entire time.
When Rolo shifted though, the Japanese had a rather uncontrolled jerk forward, startling both of them. However, Suzaku's main conscience was far to foggy to really, honestly notice. There was the fear and the lust and the sheer exhilaration of the situation coursing in his veins. It was both too fast and too slow, it was hot and everything seemed to dizzy out for a moment and… He wasn't entire sure what happened next. Something in his mind told him he should be worried that he can't see, but his body was completely 'calm.'
(Loosely used, mind you. He was as tense as he had ever been. His being seized up and Rolo had actually begun to think something was wrong until-)
"I-y-yes…!"
And somehow, Suzaku was completely unaware of what he said, for almost no reason at all, in a low, hoarse whisper. Just wanting to hear something, speak something, to show him that he was still fully there.
When he finally blinked, breathing relaxing, and saw Rolo's wide eyes looking down at him, he suddenly registered that… One, he was no longer on top of Rolo, he was lying on his stomach on the bed, and two… He felt really, really great.
"…S…Suzaku?"
"…Hm?"
He paused; pushing himself up on his arms when he felt the weight of Rolo's hand on his back, moving an almost massaging motion.
"…Rolo-…I… Er…"
The boy began to tilt his head, ready to say something when the hinges on the door creaked and instead Rolo's head immediately went that direction. Suzaku slowly followed in sitting up, raising an eyebrow.
"…I thought… One of us shut the door completely."
"…So did I… But… Why would it open."
An uncomfortable expression was on Rolo's face before-
"Mrrow~"
"…Arthur?" Suzaku said, starting to laugh while Rolo moved to the edge of the bed, away from the knight, to see where the cat was.
Lo and behold, the biting monstrosity was kneading Rolo's jeans, trying to sleep on them.
"…Mmn, it's Arthur." Rolo sighed with a breath of relief. Suzaku waited for a second before coming closer, wrapping his arms around the smaller waist of the Britannian and pulling him close.
"…I…Sorry…"
"…It wasn't… bad. I-I just…" He tilted his head back to rest on Suzaku's shoulder. "…I told you… I'm not good with this stuff…"
"I love you."
"I love you too…"
Silence.
And then both of them turned with alarmed expressions to the doorway.
"Ah-ha, I knew that Arthur would lead me to you, Suza…ku…?"
Lelouch hadn't made a noise that high in a while.