I don't own the song (copyright to Maroon 5) or Sherlock characters (belonging to Moffat and BBC who continues to drive me to insanity with this tediously dull wait for season 3!)
AND NOW, TO BEGIN
Here I am waiting, I'll have to leave soon, why am I holdin' on
We knew this day would come, we knew it all along
How did it come so fast
This is our last night, but it's late and I'm tryin' not to sleep
'Cuz I know, when I wake I will have to slip away
Sherlock had known that this day was coming for a long. And frankly, before, he was almost glad to be finally escaping Molly's seemingly endless desire to give and take attention from him. He laughed silently to himself. He could hear John's voice echoing through his incredible brain, scolding him for being to ungrateful to Molly after everything she had done for him.
And when the daylight comes I'll have to go
But, tonight I'm 'gonna hold you so close
'Cuz in the daylight, we'll be on our own
But, tonight I need to hold you so close
But that was the past. The fact still didn't erase the sickness he felt at himself for ever wanting to escape from the mousy pathologist with stupidly big heart. Stupid, yes. But weak? Never. A word that described his feelings towards letting Molly go for what could possibly be the last time he sets foot in her flat.
Oh whoa, oh whoa, oh whoa
Oh whoa, oh whoa, oh whoa
Damn Moriarty and his seemingly infinite assassins. Then again, if it wasn't for Moriarty, Sherlock wouldn't have been with the beautiful person that Molly always was but Sherlock was to blind to see under his very nose. On the other hand, he wouldn't been completely saddened at the prospect of leaving her side. Maybe feelings was just a weakness for him.
Here I am starring, at your perfection in my arms; so beautiful.
The sky is getting bright, the stars are burnin' out.
Somebody slow it down.
This is way too hard, 'cuz I know when the sun comes up I will leave
This is my last glance that will soon be memories
Memories of Molly flashed through his brain, bolting through his mind palace and into cracks he had never even associated her with. He smiled slightly and remembering how flustered she once was in his very presence. Now, to him, she was a serene lake that he never seemed to want to leave.
And when the daylight comes I'll have to go
But, tonight I'm 'gonna hold you so close
'Cuz in the daylight, we'll be on our own
But, tonight I need to hold you so close
Once again, he was painfully reminded by and aching in his chest how badly he didn't want to go. How deeply he longed to be there when Molly awoke with a mug of coffee ready for her and Sherlock already seated at the table. A numb empty feeling that decided to inhabit his chest made him wonder why fear had enveloped him, though feeling differently. He pulled Molly even closer, taking in everything about her and filing it away carefully in his mind palace.
Oh whoa, oh whoa, oh whoa
Oh whoa, oh whoa, oh whoa
Sherlock was confused. Why was this "fear" filling into his every cavity, every crevice, of his cold soul? Why was it barricading everything that he had worked for so long to close? And most of all, why did it feel differently?! Eventually he had to face the inevitable.
I never wanted to stop, because I don't want to start all over, start all over
I was afraid of the dark, but now it's all that I want, all that I want, all that I want
It was heartbreak. His heart was breaking at the thought of leaving Molly behind. He was sure Molly would find someone else. And it would tear his heart apart. It was already stripping it down of its dignity and cool demeanor and protection against things like that. He burrowed his face into Molly's hair, trying incredibly hard to hold back tears.
And when the daylight comes I'll have to go
But, tonight I'm 'gonna hold you so close
'Cuz in the daylight, we'll be on our own
But, tonight I need to hold you so close
Bzzzz. Bzzzzzz. A vibrate from his phone told him that it was time. He planted one last kiss on Molly's forehead and gently pushed himself off the bed, trying to make as little noise as possible. It was hard, as most of his attention was of trying to think about when Molly found herself alone in the flat, Sherlock never even telling her he was going. She saw it coming too. But neither of them actually saw it this close.
And when the daylight comes I'll have to go
But, tonight I'm 'gonna hold you so close
'Cuz in the daylight, we'll be on our own
But, tonight I need to hold you so close
Sherlock made it quietly out of the flat without making a noise. Just as he closed the door, he something for the first time in his life: a tear grazed its way done his cheek and hit the floor, just as the door shut with a soft bang.