Hello! This is a new trip together; for who's reading Falling, don't worry: I'm not gonna leave it unfinished! I just had this idea... But you have to promise to be patient: chapters of this stories would be really longer than what I usually do but I promise I'll write as fast as possible!

I want to thank Ire - CileSun92 - because she's a great B-reader; and Vero - merder32 - because she always inspires me to do better.

Happy reading and let me know what you think!

Make you feel my love

Chapter 1

I've known it from the moment that we met,
no doubt in my mind where you belong.

New York City, New York

Fortunately, the zip of the red dress Meredith Grey had chosen to wear was on the side, so she was easily able to zip it up herself without disturbing her mother; she could hear her voice in the living room of their suite, repeating her speech for the Harper Avery Gala which would be starting in less than an hour. Meredith had helped her mother to collect her dirty blonde curls – so similar to hers – into a bun at the nape of her neck, told her to choose the blue trousers and jacket instead of the black one, and then came back in the bedroom to take care of her own.

She couldn't actually remember what it felt like to dress up, applying her make-up to bring up her green, sweet eyes with the eyeliner, or to color her plump lips. Not that she missed having her ankles killing her because of the high heels, of course. Simply, life at Dartmouth had been different. Completely different from her Boston routine, from the high school life she had been so used to, from all the parties with the upper class doctors her mother had to hang at, sometimes.

At Dartmouth, she just studied. She woke up, put on a sweater and jeans or yoga pants, took classes, had lunch, came back to her room and spent the afternoon and the night studying. She wanted to focus, because that was exactly what she needed: to be focused and driven.

After college she was going straight to med school - she was positive about this - and with Ellis Grey as a mother, she would probably need to work even harder. She didn't have friends, apart from a couple of chicks she sat with during classes. And then, there was Finn, of course. He was three years older than her (at least that's what she remembered) and wanted to be a vet with every fiber of his being. Obviously, he was completely obsessed with every kind of animal, and he was a vegetarian, too. Despite Meredith's love for red meat, he seemed to really have it bad for her, so she practically found him everywhere. Everywhere. After classes, outside her dorms. Always asking her out, always begging her to spend some time with him. She had agreed to a couple of dates in the past, and found herself involved in some French kisses while his hands had run in places she didn't want them to. She had turned down any other invitation that came along, but he might have gotten the wrong idea that they were together so he actually treated her as she were his girlfriend. Either way, she didn't have time for it. Or for him. Every spare energy she might have left from her studies was going to be spent in tequila.

She considered being Ellis Grey's daughter to be her greatest luck and her biggest issue since she was six years old. The pressure was sometimes impossible to handle and in the most difficult moments she had wished with everything she had to have been born in a different family. Except her mother was… fantastic. Intelligent, focused, brilliant, funny, a complete genius. She was totally smitten with her. Always had been, practically. And the feelings were mutual. At her workplace, Ellis never mentioned Meredith or their private life, with her friends she was always speaking extremely high about her daughter and how amazingly remarkable she was in every field of her life.

Speaking of pressure, exactly.

That year, Ellis had been nominated for the Harper Avery Award for her Laparoscopy Grey Method and there they were, in New York City. Meredith had flown all the way from Dartmouth with her suitcase full of cute dresses and high-heeled shoes to support her mother and her victory – because there was no chance that Ellis Grey couldn't win the prize. Not one. There was nothing between her mom and this great milestone for her career.

When she had started, Ellis Grey had been the only woman in her surgical program. Everyone had expected her to fall to the ground after the first long shift, but she was stronger than every man. Smarter than every man. She was a star, destined to shine. And Meredith was the proudest daughter alive. She was convinced she couldn't be half as good as her mother was.

That suit was everything but comfortable. He hated to wear suits. His dream outfit consisted in slacks, t-shirts and tennis shoes, but, of course, he couldn't wear them to a gala.

Watching with envy his best friends, Mark Sloan and Addison Montgomery, perfectly comfortable with their elegant outfits, Derek Shepherd adjusted his tie. The night was going to be an extremely long and boring affair, but he had been forced to come. Dr. Richard Webber had been clear: at least one of the resident had to go to show support to the Chief of Surgery. At least, Derek could sit with his friends.

The three of them had gone to Columbia together, but when Mark and Addison had accepted a place for their internship at Mount Sinai in New York, he had opted for Mass Gen in Boston. It was a long way from New York, but he had needed some sort of fresh start, and the Chief of Surgery was Ellis Grey. The great Ellis Grey. As in flesh and blood. So, he was a fifth year neuro resident at her hospital. He loved his work, his co-workers, and the city itself. It was the suit and the gala night he wasn't so fond of.

Listening distracted to Mark and Addison chatting pointlessly – and in the great need to distract his attention from their intertwined hands – he looked to the table where Richard Webber was sitting, his hand resting protectively on Ellis Grey's shoulder.

Everyone at Mass Gen knew about the two of them. They had an affair during their residency, in Seattle, probably, while they both had been married. Chief Grey had a daughter, too, or so he had heard through the grapevine. They had met again in Boston years later, and since his first day as an intern Derek had been told the two general surgeons were a couple – a great, famous, brilliant couple. Dr. Webber was totally in love with Dr. Grey, and…

Derek took a closer look. There was a woman, right next to Chief Grey. An extremely good looking woman, the split image of the older woman sitting next to her. Same blond hair, same fair complexion. Chief Grey was a beautiful woman, indeed. But this one was actually gorgeous. Big eyes, amazing body, enchanting smile… She was laughing, her hand gently posed on Webber's forearm, the other hand – small, elegant hand with long, bony fingers… - was holding her glass of white wine.

Wow.

"What are you watching so intently?" Mark asked, roughly pulling at his arm.

"Nothing," Derek replied quickly, diverting his gaze from the enchanting mermaid.

"He was watching that girl," Addison smirked, pointing to the mermaid, in fact. "I love her dress, I wish I would look so good in red."

"Addie, you look amazing even in those crappy pink scrubs you have to wear for the vagina squad," Mark commented.

Derek nodded, for once giving credit to his best friend. Addison Montgomery looked like a model, period. She was his best friend's girlfriend, of course, and she herself was one of his best friends, but that didn't mean he was blind. And anyway, no one couldn't not notice Addison, even just because she was really tall, with incredibly long legs and red hair.

"She'd make a nice lay," Mark added, coming back to the blonde girl and earning a slap from his girlfriend. "Hey!" he protested, stroking his head. "I meant for Shep!"

"No, she won't," Derek replied, annoyed. "I have a girlfriend."

"No, you don't."

"I do, too!"

"You sound like you're six," Addison mumbled but the boys didn't pay attention to her at all.

"Oh, you mean Rose?"

"Yeah. We're dating, we're exclusive, she's my girlfriend."

"Oh, please!" Make almost shouted, as Addison pouted slightly.

"You don't like her, uh?"

"Derek," Addison tried. She was way more diplomatic than Mark. "She doesn't seem very well suited for you."

"She's nice," Derek retorted, stubbornly.

"She's stupid!" Mark corrected. "She's a stupid nurse. You deserve better, Shep."

"Like the Chief's daughter?" he answered sarcastically, gazing at the blond mermaid once again.

"At least she looks like she would be good in bed. I'm sure Rose sucks."

"I don't talk about how my girlfriend's like in bed," Derek groaned.

"That's because she sucks. I've got no problem saying how Addie's in the sack, because she's great. And that Rose is stupid!"

"You're great," Addison rapidly attended, taking Derek's hand. "You're great, funny, caring, kind, and handsome. And she's just… She's…"

"She's a stupid, stupid animal!" Mark shouted again.

Luckily, any further attempt to discuss Derek's relationship with the nurse was interrupted by some big fancy doctor – Derek was sure he had never seen this man's face before – wearing a suit more expensive than his own apartment, announcing that the winner of the Harper Avery Award was going to be announced in a couple of minutes.

If he had come all the way from Seattle to support his Chief he might as well pay attention.

"You did it!" Meredith exclaimed, her voice full of joy, tears streaming down her cheeks as she hugged her mother with everything she had, burying her face in her neck, breathing in her oh so familiar scent.

Her mother had won the Harper Avery. Her second Harper Avery.

She had given an amazing speech, discussing the importance for women to challenge themselves in pursuit of aims that had always been male-dominated, telling the audience stories about the difficulties she had to face when she had started, the only girl in her program – a tiny, blond girl, exactly like Meredith – when everyone had called her "sweetie" and mistaken her for a nurse. She didn't mention her, but Meredith knew the whole speech was a message for her, so she was even flattered, besides being entirely proud.

Ellis hugged her back, resting her small hand on her daughter's head, a gesture she had done her entire life. "Thank you, sweetheart"

"This was… amazing! So completely amazing! I want to reach these highs too," the girl confessed, her head dizzy from the happiness of the moment. She leaned back, smiling to her mom.

"You will," Ellis assured her, adjusting a rebel blond lock to the side of Meredith's face. "Because you are ten times better than me. You are the best thing I've ever done in my life."

She embraced her daughter sweetly, strongly, hoping with everything she had that she will see her do even better. Meredith wasn't her and Ellis was very aware of it. She was as strong as she was, but she was actually sweeter, and kinder, and her heart was a fragile, precious thing. She hadn't witnessed all the crap Ellis had – even if her father did abandon her when she was five, Ellis had done everything she could to fill up that void.

Meredith turned around and saw Richard looking at the two of them exchanging hugs and words of love and she grinned at him, gesturing for him to come near.

It was hard, at first, to accept that her mother, - her amazing, remarkable mother who has an extremely busy job, which means she never got to spend with her as much time as she wanted- had a… boyfriend? No, not a boyfriend. A man or someone. Whatever.

Meredith was an only child and her father was MIA for years, so she wasn't exactly used to share. It had taken a lot of time to adjust to him, especially in the rare occasions when they both have a weekend off so he would come over and eventually spend the night. Now, however, she was completely used to this, and in her mind, Richard was her part-time father. At least, he was the only stable male figure in Meredith's life.

"Aren't you proud of her?" she asked him when he stood next to them, his hand resting gently on Ellis' back. Meredith smiled brightly at him, her mind still dizzy about the big goal in her mother's life. Richard smiled back with the same emotion, both of his hands moving to Meredith's shoulders to circle her in a warm, nice hug.

"Completely," he confessed. "Are we going to celebrate, after she finishes taking congratulations from everyone?"

"You two go alone," Meredith imposed, her tone the one of the occasions when she wasn't willing to listen to another word.

She knew how much of an effort Richard had done to book for them a table in the most exclusive restaurant of the City, and she thought that they deserved some time alone. Real time alone, far away from Boston and the hospital or their offices. Plus, her mother had booked a suite for the two of them and Richard had to get his own room. Ellis was extremely traditional in that sense, and she hadn't want for her girl to sleep alone. And Meredith knew how much of a sacrifice it would be for the couple. She might never have been with a guy but she wasn't naïve. She knew the importance of sharing a bed and… bed time. Or at least, she had read so. Not that she liked thinking about her mother in that way, Ellis was only and always her mom, or at least a surgeon. The most amazing, talented surgeon in the world.

"But this is a family celebration," Richard tried to argue, completely used to the Grey girls' willpower.

"It's not," Meredith stressed. "Anyway, I'm going to have fun alone. Some Broadway show or a little sight-seeing. When you come back, ring me, so we can schedule a family drink."

Meredith stepped out of the theatre when her iPhone went off.

She stopped in a corner, busy people passing by in their elegant dresses as she fumbled with the bag, searching for the phone. She found it with extreme difficulty, and when she saw the caller ID she couldn't say she was happy with the name she read.

"Finn," she groaned hitting the green button. "What do you want?"

"Hello, sweetheart. Are you enjoying the Big Apple?" he greeted with that happy voice which was able to drive Meredith nuts.

"Okay, A, never call me sweetheart again, and B, how do you know I'm in New York?"

"I met Izzie this morning. I won't tell you that's not nice to take days off without telling your boyfriend. Anyway, did you mother win?"

"Geez, do you understand English? You. Are not. My boyfriend!" she shouted in the phone. She ended the call and threw the iPhone in the bag, completely mad. How can guys be so stupid?

"Fuck!" she grunted, and she kicked the wall against which she had leaned with her ballerina shoe, but she immediately lost her balance and she fell to the ground, bruising both her hands and her knees in the process.

While she was kneeling on all fours in the middle of one of the most elegant streets of New York, her dress a complete mess, tears of humiliation and frustration streaming down her cheeks, she heard a voice: "Can I help you, Miss Grey?"

Meredith raised her face and she met a pair of ocean blue eyes, in the middle of the most handsome face she had ever seen. A random boy – well, more like a random man – was holding her hand out to her, calling her by her last name and looking completely perfect. The ebony curls, the crooked smile, the really nice body, in jeans and a button-down shirt.

She gained her control.

You are a Grey, she told herself, wiping the tears away and reaching for the boy's hand. When their skins touched, she immediately moaned for the pain. He saw the bruises, so he helped her to her feet.

"Let me take a look, I'm a doctor," he explained.

"Oh please," Meredith stressed. "You might be a doctor, but my mother is THE doctor"

"I know," he replied, flashing her a smile. "I'm one of her residents. Wanna go in that coffee shop and see if they can give us some ice? You'll feel better. Bruises are pretty annoying."

Sitting down on the bench, her hands wrapped in bandages, ice on her knee and a coke on the table in front of her, Meredith found that life was going slightly better.

Her knight in shining… whatever had been amazing. Quick and gentle, he had found the ice, the bandages, and he had even brought her a drink.

"Thank you," she murmured, not looking at him.

"You're welcome. And I'm kinda sorry I jumped on you, calling your name without telling you who I was. But I spotted you coming out the theatre, I witnessed the whole scene so… It just came out naturally."

"No, it's ok. I still don't know your name and I'm definitely ashamed you heard that crappy conversation but it's ok. I mean, you work under my mother so I think I'm supposed to look like the fabulous kid and not this random hobo who I actually am, but it's ok. I don't think I'm making any sense."

"I can understand worse," he assured. "Derek Shepherd."

"Meredith Grey," she smiled.

"The fabulous kid."

"Well, not so fabulous after that ridiculous scene I'm sure you witnessed…"

"Looks like someone made you really upset on the phone," he commented, his blue eyes shining. Was he sure they were legal?

"Just Finn," she hissed, rolling her eyes. Then she bit her lip: she wasn't sure she was supposed to tell him about Finn. For the first time in her young life, Meredith Grey was afraid of what another person would think about her. She had always felt so self-confident but for some reasons Derek Shepherd made it all disappear. She didn't want him to think she was a child. She wanted to look like a confident, intelligent… woman.

"Who's Finn?" he asked, calling for a waitress to order a brownie. "Do you want something sweet?"

She blushed. Holy mother of hell, why am I blushing? He's asking if I want a pastry or a muffin or… Gosh, I'm a total idiot.

"A brownie, too," she nodded, trying to gain back her composure. "And Finn's no one we need to talk about."

"Ok," he smiled. "Let me see your hands, I don't want you to come back to your mom and tell her a shitty resident had done a bad work. You're the golden child," he smirked again.

"I'm Meredith," she corrected, shooking her head, her blonde hair falling on her pretty face.

Derek observed her intently for a few seconds: she was wearing a blue pleated skirt with a white top and a matching cardigan, flats blue ballerinas and a big, blue Michael Kors bag was abandoned next to her chair. Something like fifty hundred dollars of bag, he knew because Amelia, his baby sister, was bitching about how much she needed one for months.

At her wrists, Meredith had a few Tiffany bracelets and a watch, with matching earrings. She was barely wearing any make-up, except for a deliciously pink lip gloss. Derek didn't know how much money Ellis Grey made in a month, but he can just imagined it had anything to do with the great efforts his mom had made to raise five kids - well, six, including Mark - alone. Meredith Grey was nice and smart, but she was also a snob. A snob who can actually blush - he hadn't missed the nice color which had raised on her cheeks when he had offered to buy her something sweet. She was definitely pretty, and one day, she would make a pretty trophy fiancè for some snob lawyer. Or maybe a professor - Derek wasn't sure with whom Ellis Grey would see her precious daughter with.

Anyway, the girl was rather talkative and even slightly funny and he discovered it was pretty nice to talk to her, despise her being a snob. He asked her about school, and she told him she was in pre med.

"Dartmouth," she grinned. "I chose my mother's school. I'm about to finish it, and then definitely med school"

"Surgeon, I assume?"

"Of course. I don't think I could do anything else, my mother raised me with bread and surgeries. I think I'll choose Mass Gen for my internship, but even Mt. Sinai in New York could be nice. What do you think?"

"I like Mass Gen," he assured her. "I was born in New York but I decided to move to Boston because I wanted to work with your mom. I thought during med school I was going to go general but the first time I saw an aneurysm being clipped I knew I had to be a neurosurgeon."

"I bet you're really good," she offered with a smile. Ellis Grey was cold and stern with interns and residents, but her daughter was a warm little thing. Despite everything, Derek enjoyed the compliment: "You'll do great, too," he said back. "Anyway, Mt. Sinai is pretty hardcore, too: my best friends, Mark Sloan and Addison Montgomery, work there."

"We'll see," she said, sipping at her Coke. "I love my mom more than anything, but I don't know how I feel about the idea of working with her and Richard everyday. I… I just want to be myself, you know?"

"You feel the pressure," he nodded. "It's normal. It doesn't mean you don't love your mother."

Maybe he could give Meredith his sister Kathleen's number. She was the shrink, not him.

"When do you go back to Boston?" she asked when the waitress arrived with their brownies.

"The day after tomorrow, you?"

"Same. Do you want to come see West Side Story with me tomorrow night? I have two tickets."

He really hoped she wasn't asking him out on a date. She was pretty, of course, and if he would think like Mark for a second, her curves were to die for, but she was a snob little thing - and the daughter of his boss. But what if she actually went home complaining about how he had rudely refused her offer?

"Yes, why not?" he replied, hoping to keep his reply the most casual he could. "Do you mind if I bring Mark and Addison?"

"Not at all," she smiled, her eyes shining like pearls.

"Is she that bad?" Mark asked Derek the following night, while they strolled in the streets full of people to the theater. He was holding Addison's hand, looking as pretty as always in a nice grey cocktail dress with high heels. Derek wasn't sure he had ever saw Addison in the city without her high heels.

"I don't know," Derek replied. "She's… kind of a snob. Sometimes she's annoying, sometimes she's even nice. You should see her clothes: yesterday she had a top on which I'm sure costs more than everything in Amelia's closet."

"I hope you aren't judging her from what she wears," Addison commented. "It's not her fault if she's rich and it doesn't mean she's a bad person because of it. I mean, you love me even if my family didn't have to apply for a loan to afford med school."

"This is true," Derek replied quickly. "She's just… She's Ellis Grey's daughter."

"Again, not her fault."

Even if she had been raised by a stern family, Addison Montgomery was anything but a stern person. She didn't know how, but had turned into a sweet, loving girl, especially with the one she loves. She was even a great doctor, she was always extremely empathetic with her patients. This is why, when she spotted Meredith Grey walk toward them in a lovely dress, her hair up in a bun, she knew she was going to like the girl.

Derek had been right about her appearance: she was young and she had expensive clothes on. But when she introduced herself to them, and most of all, when she shook Derek's hand asking how he was and her cheeks became a deep shade of red, Addison knew Derek had been blind about who Meredith Grey really was.

She sat next to him during the show, and Addison had to admit she was impressed with how Meredith balanced talking to her and Mark and showering Derek with attentions: she wasn't obvious and it was clear she wasn't doing it on purpose. She simply was completely enamored with Derek: her emerald eyes shone when she looked at him, she laughed at his jokes, she simply worshipped him in a way a girl could just do when she was twenty. Addison had no doubt: Derek was Meredith's first crush.

When she wasn't focused on Derek, Meredith was even better: she was nice and warm, but intelligent, funny and feisty. She had a great culture for being just twenty - Addison knew her age because she had stalked her on Facebook - and not just in medicine. She knew by heart every song even played on Broadway - she was a huge fan, she had confessed, her eyes gently caressing Derek - and when it comes to medicine, she knew a thing or two about every big hospital of the country. They could easily gossip about famous surgeries - or surgeons, for the matter - and she had her own opinion about everything. Addison was definitely impressed, and impressing Addison Adrianne Forbes Montgomery was indeed a hard job.

Derek had been blind. He wasn't even looking at her. He was having around this beautiful, smart young woman which eyes would be more than happy to never leave his and he was actually wasting his time with that stupid nurse. Mark was totally right, even if Addison was never going to admit it. Rose the Nurse was a stupid animal and Derek - her Derek, her best friend - deserved more.

Anyway, she wasn't going to say anything: if he wanted to waste his time, he was free to do so.

Dartmouth college, Hanover, New Hampshire

Meredith Grey had always loved Hanover and her college, since the first month she had spent there. Her mother, always obsessing about her little girl having everything she needed, had found her the cutest apartment, slightly outside campus, with a big bedroom, a bright living room and a delicious balcony. As focused as she was over school, Meredith wasn't much of a partier, but she enjoyed reading in her quiet apartment, eating on the balcony and even the ten minutes walking to college she took every morning, her hands buried in the pockets of her hoodie, her bag banging against her hips and her headphones in her ears.

When she wasn't obsessed over her exams and her grades, she was a quiet and pacific person. Sometimes she conceded herself a night of drinking tequila with Izzie and a few other friends, but most of all, she had a nice, lonely life studying, reading and watching tv shows. She was a balanced, happy girl, she enjoyed what she did in her life and most of all, she enjoyed climbing in her car and escaping to Boston from time to time, to see her mother.

Except, since when she had came back from New York, her life had completely changed and her balance was fucked up. She wasn't able to focus on anything: not her studies, not her reading, not the season finale of her favorite tv show. Nothing. She had swinging moods and she spent her days in class, staring at the wall, and lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. She was always thinking about Derek Shepherd. Always. And when she wasn't thinking about him it meant she had cried herself to sleep and she would spend her sleeping hours dreaming about him.

She was completely obsessed.

She didn't know what was happening to her and little did she know how to handle it. No boy before had even caught her attention, no one. Maybe Finn, at once, but even before their first date she had spent fifteen minutes tops thinking about him. She was simply too focused on her life. Except she had met Derek Shepherd and he had fucked up everything.

Meredith just knew she needed to talk to him, to see him again. She was living in a bubble, playing over and over in her mind the moments they had spent together in New York and she felt a strong desire to be with him, to see him again. Desire was a weak word to express how she felt. She was always imagining what he could be doing, running around the hospital, treating patients, enjoying breaks with his friends… And she didn't know what the hell she was supposed to do. She didn't even know what she was feeling.

She needed to talk to someone. She needed an advice, but from who? Derek was hers - it was her secret, her happy island, and she wasn't sure she wanted to share him with anyone. Not that she wanted to freak out over him every day for the rest of her life. She needed an advice. She needed her mother. She could leave the following morning and spend the weekend in Boston, she was sure her mother would find the time to take her out for lunch and help her figure out the mess which was going on in her head. She could just show up at the hospital and surprise her mom. And she felt a thrill thinking about who else she could run into, at the hospital.

Boston, Massachusetts

Derek Shepherd was tired. Beyond tired. Or better: he was positive he had never been so tired in his entire life. He had started his day with a craniotomy but he had lost the patient after a few hours of complicate work. He hated losing patients, like every other surgeon, but most of all, Derek hated losing them first thing in the morning. Then, he had had a weekly meeting with the Chief of Surgery, where had graciously remembered every member on her staff that they were a hardcore hospital not because they were better than Seattle Grace or Mt. Sinai but because she worked her ass off, and she expected the same dedication from everyone of them, interns, attendings, heads of departments and nurses. She wasn't in the mood to tolerate further mistakes.

Derek had spent a few minutes wondering what the hell was she talking about - no one had made big mistakes, not recently. He know their Chief was slightly insane, but honestly, her levels of insanity were really high in that period. Probably because it was almost summer, he didn't really know why.

Anyway, he had being stopped during his reasoning because a nurse told him a redhead girl was looking for him. So he discovered Dr. Grey had invited to Boston Dr. Nicole Herman, Head of Neonatal at Mt. Sinai, who had carried along her favorite resident - his Addison. Obviously, the fact that he had been working for almost twenty hours without sleep meant nothing when he discovered he could spend his lunch break with his best friend.

He hadn't see Addison in a couple of weeks, and while they tried to text at least twice a day, eating with her and talking about their day was something he really missed about med school. Addison was amazingly beautiful even in her salmon scrubs, her long red hair in a high ponytail, wearing just mascara and lipstick. She was a genius - Derek was well aware of how good she was - and she had been chosen by a famous neurosurgeon to be on his team. She kicked ass and he was extremely proud of her. Plus, she was indeed the only light in a terrible day, at least until she asked about Rose.

Derek knew both Addison and Mark didn't like her. Even his mom, who had met her briefly there at the hospital during a visit, and who never said bad of anyone, had had written all over her face how that girl was anything but right for her baby boy. They had had the 'Rose argument' once during Thanksgiving, the previous winter, when Addison and Mark had come over for lunch with the family.

Addison and Carolyn, Derek's mom, had pouted the entire time; Kathleen, the shrink of the family, had explained for thirty minutes how he had decided to date a girl not right for him because he didn't think he could deserve more. Nancy, who said she didn't care about anything, had observed that Shepherds had the gene of beauty and with that horse of a girlfriend, Derek would give Mom ugly Shepherds grandchildren (someone had told her that beauty wasn't important and she had replied it was bullshit. Beauty was important, period). Lizzie, who was definitely the annoying sister, had said that her brother would do better staying single instead of dating a stupid nurse, and Mark and Amelia, they baby of the family, called hurricane by everyone, had just muttered something like "stupid horse".

Derek knew Rose wasn't the girl for him, he really did. Well, she was pretty - even if his entire family called her a horse, Derek thought she was pretty - and nice, and their sex was good. It was just that he didn't feel anything in his stomach when he was next to her. Seeing her naked didn't make his throat feel dry and he could swear he had never felt any butterflies. It wasn't love, simply.

Derek didn't know how it really felt to be in love. He was almost twenty-eight years old, and if he would say a thing he really, deeply envied about Mark was how he felt about Addison.

Meredith was thrilled like she had been when her mom had took her to see Dartmouth. This time, anyway, she wasn't in a fantastic campus in a summer day, looking around and feeling in every bone the sensation that her biggest dream, becoming a doctor, was coming true.

Anyway, the thrill was the same.

She was standing in the hall of Mass Gen, dressed as well as she could without being obvious (which had consisted in jeans, boots, and a cute shirt), but it was raining and she was pretty sure the humidity had completely screwed up her hair and the hours she had spent in front of the mirror to make them look decent. Anyway, here she was, ready to search for her mother, and maybe even to casually run into the boy of her dreams. Her throat felt completely dry, her hands were sweating and her legs completely shaking. Who was Derek Shepherd and what had he done to her? What was happening to controlled, focused, pragmatic Meredith Grey?

Despite the bad weather, the humidity who had screwed up her curls and the way everything in her body was shaking, she was a lucky girl - or at least, so she thought so when the doors of the elevator opened in front of her and she caught a few glimpses of Derek [qua ho sicuramente inventato delle parole]. He was there, right in front of her, more handsome than ever - but he wasn't alone. He was holding hands with a brunette wearing a horrible jacket and high-heeled boots, whose hair wasn't screwed up by the humidity but actually hang down her shoulders beautifully. The girl could probably be twenty five, twenty six years old, and she was holding Derek's hand like it was the most normal thing in the world, smiling at something he was telling her.

Didn't she know the luck she had? Didn't she know she was holding hands with a boy who was everything Meredith had ever wanted or wished for in her entire life? Didn't she know that another girl would give up everything she had in her life just to be in her shoes?

In the spur of a moment, Meredith realized everything: what the hell was she doing? She should be in Hanover, studying, not in Boston, dressed up and waiting to catch a boy's gaze? Had she lost her mind somewhere in New York?

Most likely, he had completely forgotten about her, at this point, and anyway, he had a girlfriend. A girlfriend who actually wasn't about to finish pre med. She was so stupid - she turned around and ran away, hoping he hadn't seen her. She felt tears streaming down her face, her breath short in her chest. She should hide - she definitely needed to hide.

She took the first door she found and thank God, the stairs were empty - completely empty, like every noise of the hospital had been left behind. She let herself fall in a corner, her bag and cardigan falling on the ground. She took her forehead in her hands and let the tears fall freely. It was a matter of seconds and the tears became sobbing.

He had a girlfriend.

He. Had. A girlfriend.

Obviously - he was a dream, a complete dream, funny, smart, handsome… She should have supposed it the second she had met him. And in that moment she saw everything clear: she didn't know what she was feeling for him, she just knew she had never ever wanted something in her life the way she wanted him.

Addison was having a relatively nice day: she had always liked Boston, she was completely in love with the medical field she had chosen and she had spent her lunch catching up with his best friend. In the morning they will leave for New York and hopefully she would spend a relaxing and sexy night with the man she loved. Life was good today.

She ran down the stair hoping to hide in the cafeteria for a bit and have something full of chocolate, but she stopped when she saw a tiny girl curled up in a corner, a mess of a bag and a cardigan around her, her long blonde hair hiding her face. She was trying to hold back her sobs and Addison recognized her immediately.

"Meredith?"

The girl raised her face, her make-up completely ruined by the tears.

"Oh gosh, Meredith, what happened?"

Addison forgot immediately her break and the chocolate treat and sat down next to her.

"Addison… hey…" Meredith even attempted a smile when she saw who had called her name. "I was pretty certain you worked in New York," she commented, and then, another sob.

"I do, I'm here for a consult with my attending," she explained quickly. "But why are you crying like this? It's your mother?"

"Gosh, no, she didn't even know I'm here. It's… I was surprising here, and…" she bit her bottom lip, more tears streaming down her pretty face.

Addison sighed: "Oh God, it is Derek, isn't it?"

Meredith raised up her face and a terrified look flashed on her face. "Oh shit, was I that obvious? Does he know? I'm - I'm screwed, I don't know what the hell is happening to me, I just - I couldn' do anything so I came here and… She's pretty, she's not a teenager, she has nice hair and-" she stopped to gain her breath and Addison had a feeling the rambling was just a way to deal with a new feeling. The girl was clearly in love with Derek, in love with a new crush, and she didn't know what to do. Clearly, anyway, she had seen him with Rose.

"Oh, Meredith," she breathed, and her arms immediately embraced the younger girl. Addison wasn't much of a hugger, especially with someone she had know for a few hours, but she knew how Meredith was feeling, she know how devastating the first love was, she knew how it felt like to see the man you want with another girl. All of this felt this huge probably because she was just twenty.

"It's gonna be alright, I swear it is." She felt the girl tense in her arms but after a couple of second she let herself go and sobbed harder, her tiny bony hands searching for comfort.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed, grabbing her scrubs in her fists.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. Dry your tears and tell me everything."

If she would point out a fault in her life, Meredith knew she could have more friends. Or better, she could actually have some, since the closest thing she had to friends were a few classmates she sometimes invited over for tequila. This is probably why, when Addison found her in the stars, crying every tear she had, she had felt the urge to tell her everything and for the first time in her life, trust someone who wasn't her mother. She had trusted Derek for something like two weeks and then she had discovered he was dating Miss Perfect Hair, but this was another story.

"I don't know what the hell is happening to me," she confessed, sitting in front of Addison, a few brownies and two cups of coffee. "I - I've always been a quiet person, always focused on the future. I want to be a surgeon so hard that everything I've done since I started studying had been put every effort on it."

"You are extremely hardcore and this is pretty clear."

Meredith laughed harshly: "Hardcore? I don't think so. I was in New York when I lost my balance and bruised hands and knees. And this… And Derek rescued me. I'm sure he told you how he helped out a silly girl. And I don't know, I can't control my feelings anymore. I spent two weeks in Hanover staring at the ceiling, I can't study, I can't do anything. He broke me!"

"He's your first love," Addison breathed, reaching out to gently stroke her shoulder. "And trust me, I know how much it hurts."

"I just know I've never felt the way I felt when I was with him," she confessed tight-lipped, her gaze focused on the table, a few more tears slipping down. "And I don't cry! I don't waste time on boys! I spent all my life trying to be extraordinary!"

"And you are, I swear, you are. Loving someone doesn't mean you're less great or brave. Look at me: I'm madly in love with Mark and still, Dr. Herman chose me between all the resident to come here," she smirked.

"I knew there was a reason I liked you," Meredith commented, the first ghost of a smile appearing on her lips.

"I like you too, and I have the feeling you really need a friend."

"I did. And I need to know how to make this… whatever it is… disappear."

"Why do you want to get rid of it?"

"Because I can't live. And because he has Miss Perfect Hair and I'm a stupid twenty-year-old!"

Addison looked at Meredith for a few seconds, the blonde locks circling her face, the emerald eyes, the smile. And she was calling Rose - Rose!- perfect?

"I am seriously convinced that you and Derek would make a wonderful couple," she said, her blue eyes locking with Meredith's green ones. "You have to believe me."

"I really do thank you for the trust, but he doesn't want me and I'm not hiding back at Dartmouth just because I like talking to you."

"You don't need to hide. You just need to came up with a plan to make him notice you. I've known him my entire life, and he's stubborn and blind, but you can't find a better man."

"Please, shut up, or I'll start crying all over aga - oh, crap!"

"What?"

"My mom and Derek. Right behind you. Oh gosh, I want to die."

I'm already writing chap 2 ;)