Just a little one shot about what I think happened to Amanda.
I don't own the characters.
It has been a long day for Amanda Rollins. She would have loved to get into bed and sleep for a long long time, but when she got the call she knew sleep would have to wait.
Michaela Rogers was an ADA in Atlanta, Amanda has known her for a long time. She was from Loganville too. They weren't friends when they both lived there, but they'd known each other.
When Amanda started working in the APD they got closer, sharing stories about their hometown. Michaela was probably her best friend when she was in Atlanta, Amanda wasn't the most trusting person, but Michaela was always a good friend to her.
So when she called and said she'd be in New York for a few days she was excited to see her.
"Amanda Rollins in the flesh" Michaela said when she saw her sitting on the bar stool.
"Mic" Amanda got up and hugged her.
"It's so great to see you" Michaela said as they both sat down and she ordered a drink from the bartender.
"You too" Amanda said and took a sip of her beer.
"Unlike other people" she rolled her eyes at Amanda "I call when I'm in town, don't think I haven't heard about your little visit a little while ago"
Amanda knew she was referring to the trip she took there foe the Shakir Wilkins case "sorry bout that" she apologized "it was work, I was really busy"
"Don't worry about it but don't let it happen again" Michaela laughed "I'm just glad we can catch up now, how are you doing?"
"I'm alright, there's not much to tell" Amanda answered and watched Michaela drink the cocktail she ordered "How are you? How are Jack and Henry?" Amanda referred to the other woman's Husband and son.
"Henry is adorable" she showed her a picture on her phone.
"He's so big" Amanda smiled "how old is he? Seven?"
"Aha, I swear I just gave birth yesterday" Michaela showed her a different picture "he and his daddy on a camping trip"
"He looks just like his dad"
"Thank god for that, cause if he ended up looking like that other guy…" they both laughed, it was something Michaela joked about but Amanda knew very well it was just a joke, as she had been with Jack since high school and they were still very much in love.
"How are you really? And 'there's not much to tell' is not an answer" Michaela quoted Amanda's previous answer.
"You know how it is, work and work"
"If you say so" she smiled at Amanda, clearly not believing her there was nothing except work in her life.
Not that it wasn't like Amanda to concentrate on work alone, Amanda was dedicated to her job, too much sometimes, but something in the way she said it made it seem like there was more, and she was a prosecutor, it was part of her job to see through lies.
Even though she would have wanted to pressure a little more she wasn't going to do it. The truth was Michaela had to talk to Amanda about something and it wasn't going to be a very easy conversation to have.
"Do you remember how excited I was for you before you moved here?" she asked.
"And upset" Amanda replied.
"I was a little upset but mostly happy for you" she had smile but it faded a little "I mean New York is New York"
"It sure is" Amanda looked away for a moment.
"Can we go?" Michaela asked all of the sudden and Amanda nodded, something in her expression changed, was everything alright?
They paid and walked out to the street. Amanda didn't say anything for a while, she wanted Michaela to tell her when she was ready, but she was worried.
"So listen" she started after they've been walking for a little while "few weeks ago we started this investigation" she looked at Amanda who didn't say anything "an officer complained she was sexually harassed but when she told about it she was transferred to a different precinct"
Amanda was still quiet, she was looking down, and as Michaela continued talking she didn't look at her once.
"My investigator checked her story, and we found another one, a detective, she told me she was told nothing would come out of it, if she pressed charges and it would be better for her to move" she gave Amanda a chance to respond but there was nothing "the complain was against your old deputy chief" Michaela stopped walking and it took Amanda a moment to realize that and she walked back to her.
"What are you saying?" she finally asked.
"Come on Amanda, you know what I want to know" Michaela watched as Amanda crossed her arms, she didn't have to wonder anymore, she got her answer by Amanda's silence "we are digging into in" she kept on talking since she knew Amanda wasn't going to say anything right now "and it's bad, it's not just harassments"
Both of them were quiet for a while until finally Amanda spoke.
"Mic…" she started but it seemed she lost her words.
"Amanda, I need you to tell me what happened"
Amanda didn't realize she was nodding, but hearing Michaela's words, she wasn't the only one, was she the first? Could she have prevented it if she didn't listen to Sam back then?
"Ok" she said quietly.
They were working on a case involving a prostitution ring, Sam decided it was best to go after the johns and Amanda was the bait.
They ended up arresting four men and Sam offered to take her home but she declined since she needed a moment alone, he handed her the bag with her clothes and left.
She was sitting on the bed, she had an APD jacked over the dress she was wearing. She just wanted to breathe for a while. Doing this kind of undercover jobs was never easy. Sure, it was important and a good way to catch perps but to be touched by them, even though it never went too far, she always needed time after something like that.
"Good job Rollins" she heard a voice and looked up, it was the deputy chief "really good job" he nodded at her.
"Thank you sir" her smile was a little awkward, she was certain everybody had already left.
"You know" he said and suddenly sat down next to her, a little too close, so she moved a little "I appreciate your willingness to do this" he gestured at her clothes "it can't be easy, but I can see it's important for you to do it"
She thanked him again and was about to get up, she was getting a little uncomfortable sitting there with not too many clothes on.
"It means a lot" he saw her starting to move and put one hand on her thigh, which was mostly exposed due to the short dress she had on.
She didn't like the feeling of his skin on hers, she didn't like the force she felt, like he was trying to keep her on the bed and she hated the fact she froze, all of the sudden she couldn't move.
But he could. His hand traveled higher and he moved closer "all these freaks come here and touch you" he continued talking "must be rough so you shouldn't mind if a nice man gets something too" he got quiet and pushed her a little down with his other hand.
"Deputy…" she started, she couldn't move, she felt panic wash over her.
"Don't worry" he said "you'll like it"
She was lying on her back but her legs were on the floor. She felt his hand on her thigh and the other one was moving towards her breast.
Suddenly she had control of her body again and she pushed him away and got up quickly.
He looked mad and he moved closer to her "maybe you only like it when these jerks touch you" his voice was harsh "do you? I bet it turns you on" he was standing right in front of her, so close she could feel his breath "this is why you do it, you want their dirty hands on you, I can be dirty if this is what you want" he grabbed her with both hands when the door opened.
He let her go immediately.
"Is everything ok?" it was Sam.
"I was just telling detective Rollins she did a good job tonight" the chief deputy answered.
Sam looked at her, she was definitely rattled by something "I thought I would give you that ride home anyway" she nodded and took her bag before walking over to him.
Amanda told Michaela everything when they got to her place. She though it would be weird to talk about it on the street. But it wasn't easy to talk about at home.
Michaela listened quietly until Amanda was done talking. After she wasn't going to continue she asked about Sam "what did he tell you?"
"He said maybe it wasn't worth pursuing" Amanda shrugged "I don't know, it made sense then, I mean, he was the deputy chief, and I was…I don't know what to say"
"So he offered to transfer you?"
Amanda nodded "he said he might be able to find me a position in the NYPD so I took it"
"You know it's not your fault" Michaela said.
"I said it so many times myself" Amanda smiled "did it happen before, before me?"
"We think so" Michaela replied "we are looking into it, but you're not the first. Right now we are trying to keep it quiet, to find out everything we can before we press charges, your captain wasn't the only one who knew"
"How much do you think he knew?" Amanda looked at her, she took a breath but didn't say anything "I see" Amanda said, she didn't need Michaela to say anything else.
"That's why he got back to the room" Amanda said, it was more to herself than to the other woman, but Michaela nodded anyway "all this time he knew"
"Will you press charges?"
"After all this time?"
"We want to bring him down, I could use your help"
"I'll do whatever I can"
Nick though something was going on with Amanda. Since he got back to SVU things between them were pretty good, just like before he was arrested. They've been sleeping together, it wasn't much more than that, but it was good.
But in the last couple of weeks things changed, they saw each other less, she said she was busy. When they did spend the night together she was less talkative than usual, she would just lie close to him without saying anything. And it wasn't just in bed, even at work she seemed preoccupied with something.
He tried to question her about it but she was reluctant to talk. He didn't think she was gambling, he knew she was going to her meetings. Maybe he shouldn't worry too much, but he would keep an eye on her.
It the weeks that followed Michaela's visit Amanda made sure to talk to her every couple of days to find out about the investigation. She went there one weekend to give her statement.
Things were still moving a little slow as the DA wanted to make sure the case was solid. They tried hard to keep everything hushed but Amanda knew things like this have a tendency not to stay quiet.
She was at the precinct, Benson, Fin, Amaro and she were going through some evidence for a case they've been working on.
"Amanda" she heard a man's voice calling her and all four of them turned their heads to look at him.
It was Sam Reynolds.
"Can we have a word" he said when he was standing next to her, she didn't have to look at the other members of her squad, she felt them starring.
"I don't think that's a good idea" she said and looked at her computer screen.
"It's important" he insisted.
She got up and walked toward the bunks room, he followed her there.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, distancing herself from him.
"What's going on Amanda?" he asked "there are rumors about an investigation and your name came up…"
"Did it?" she rolled her eyes at him.
"What's going on?" he asked again.
"If you bothered to come all the way here then you already know" she crossed her arms.
"Know what? I don't think you understand what's going to happen" he tried to lower his voice but he was so angry it was hard "you think the deputy chief is the only one who they are looking into? Do you have any idea what's gonna happen?"
"Do you think I care?" she moved a little closer to him, not looking away "all that time ago you said it's best if I let it go, nothing would come out of it, and I believed you but you knew"
He had a puzzled look but she didn't care "you knew he couldn't keep his hands to himself, that's why you got back, isn't it? You couldn't find him so you figured he was in the room with me, and you knew what he liked…"
"Amanda…" he tried to stop her but she kept on talking.
"Don't!" she said "are you going to say you were worried about me? Damn you Sam, all you ever wanted was to do the same thing, no? Telling me about the problems with your wife, trying to be closer to me, saying you'd look after me, all you wanted was what he almost got" she saw him shaking his head "it's true, trying to kiss me, asking me out for a beer, all those little things, is this what you want?" she gestured at herself "well take it, if you want it so bad, I won't say no" she moved closer to him and he was the one to pull away a little "no?" she asked "I trusted you Sam, I thought you cared about me, I thought I mattered, but no" she shook her head and chuckled "you only care about yourself, so I don't care what's going to happen, what needs to happen, needed to happen all those years ago" she looked at him, she hated him in that moment.
He nodded and opened the door, he was about to walk but changed his mind and turned around, leaving it open "you're wrong Amanda, I do care about you"
She chucked again "funny" she said, raising her voice "I always felt like you were a father to me, but at least he had the decency to leave and never come back, so why don't you do the same"
This time he left without saying anything, just slammed the door. She wasn't even rattled by it. She took her phone and called Michaela.
"I don't know how much longer you should wait" she said "Sam was here, they know"
"Ok" Michaela said after a short pause "it's gonna come out today"
Nick knew who Sam was, he did meet him once before, they were much friendlier than. Now Sam walked out of the precinct with an angry expression without saying anything.
They did hear some of what went on in the room, but since Amanda showed up just a couple of minutes after Sam had left no one said anything.
She went back to work and they followed her.
She left early, she had a meeting that day so Nick was glad she about that. When she was gone he asked Fin if he had any idea what was going on. But he was wondering the same thing.
"Hey" Nick heard Fin call him "check this out" he gestured at the TV, a reporter was talking about something in Atlanta.
Nick walked over to Fin and they both watched the report.
"…I am here in Atlanta where the DA has announced on a full investigation on the Atlanta Police Department. In an earlier press conference it was revealed that for years female officers were sexually harassed and upon disclosing to their supervisors were told not to press charges and were transferred to a different location or job" there was a footage from the press conference now of the DA and who turned out to be the APD commissioner, he was the one speaking "today I became aware of an investigation against some figures in my department. I am here to say that the police department has zero tolerance for sexual or any other kind of harassments, I am taking these accusations seriously and the first step was to suspend every one of the people who were accused until we sort this matter out"
The reporter was back on "we have learned this investigation has been going on for a while and there are more and more evidence. The DA is not giving out exact details, but sources tell us that the charges varies from sexual harassment to rape, this is a case we will be following closely"
Neither Fin nor Nick said anything, now it was clear why Sam was here today. Amanda never told Nick anything about it and from the look on Fin's face he had no idea either.
When they were done with work Nick made his was to her apartment. He knew Fin was working a double so he wouldn't show up. He knocked a couple of times but figured she wasn't there, usually Frannie would bark when someone came by.
He walked outside and decided to wait for her.
He didn't have to wait long, fifteen minutes later she showed up, she was holding Frannie's leash.
Frannie got excited when she saw Nick and Amanda let the leash go so Frannie could run to him.
"Hey Frannie" he smiled when she started sniffing him, he looked up to Amanda, his face a little more serious as he greeted her.
She sat down next to her and for a short time Frannie ran between the both of them and they just looked at her.
"You saw the news" Amanda said finally and Nick nodded "Fin already called"
"Oh" Nick said, he wasn't sure what to say, so he decided to be honest and tell her that "I don't know what to say to you" he looked at her, she didn't shy away "but when people ask me what to do in this situation I say just be there for her, let her tell you. So that's what I'm going to do, I'm going to be here for you, I just need you to tell me how"
She looked down for a moment, Frannie was calmer now and just rested next to Amanda "can everything be normal?" she asked and he nodded "I just want things to be the same" she looked at him and then added "between us, I mean"
"Ok, I can do that" he smiled "if you want to talk about it…" he added after a moment of silent.
"Not really" she shrugged "I should go up, you wanna join me?"
He wasn't sure what to say and she smiled at him "you just said things would be normal"
"I know, I just…" he sounded a bit confused.
"It's fine" she smiled and got up "I only meant for coffee" he got up and smiled at her "this time" she whispered into his ear.
As they went into the building he knew Amanda would be fine, he was going to be there for her through this whole thing, and after it's over.
Suddenly he realized he will always be there for her.
-The end-
Hope you liked it, let me know.
I'm also working on a new longer fic, hope to post it soon.