WHAT GOES ON HERE?
A Humor Fanfic
Disclaimer: Vidia and Disney Fairies are the property of The Walt Disney Company. The following fan fiction is not for monetary gain. It is intended solely for the entertainment of its audience.
The character of Bobby Harrison is an original character and is owned by me.
Vidia is visiting her human friend Bobby in his bedroom. He is sixteen years old and has the entire day to himself, it's Saturday. His mother is away at work and won't be home until at least seven in the evening. Perfect for he and Vidia to have some energetic and vigorous fun together.
"Oh my gosh that was exhausting," Vidia said, falling down onto his bed. She is breathing heavily and sweating profusely.
"Oh yeah," Bobby concurred. "That was the best yet, Vidia. You were awesome." Bobby lay down next to her and was breathing just as hard. He wiped the sweat from his brow. His SportsCenter t-shirt was soaked with perspiration creating a deep, darker colored V shape in the cloth.
"Well of course, darling. I'm always awesome," she replied smugly between gasps of air.
"I'm so glad my mom's not home," Bobby said. "She would kill me if she knew I had a girl up here. Particularly one as hot as you."
"Hmmph. Are you human boys always that afraid of your mothers?"
"Only when they can take away our car keys and cut off our allowances," Bobby replied.
"Well, I guess you're not the person I'm looking for if you that afraid of your 'Mommy'," Vidia sneered.
"Now what's that supposed to mean?" he asked her.
"It means I'm looking for my equal, someone who can challenge me at every turn and you're just not him," she said. "Just like the last boy I was with. He couldn't keep up and his equipment was just too small. I thought you would be different."
"Oh I'm different, alright, Vidia," Bobby said confidently. "Don't confuse being afraid of mom with being weak. If I was that afraid of her, I wouldn't be doing this with you. I would just follow her rules like a good little boy and twiddle my thumbs until she came home."
"Oooh, sounds like you might have some backbone after all," Vidia answered in her usual snarky way. "Care to show me what you've really got?"
"I am all for that," Bobby replied enthusiastically.
"Good, let's take things up a notch and see if you have what I want," Vidia said.
"Enough pussy-footing around. Let's make this really interesting and go all the way," Bobby said.
"'All the way?' I don't think you can handle me, dearie," Vidia sneered again.
"Hah, it's me you have to worry about. No one is better at this than Bobby Harrison," he answered. "No one."
"Really?" she said trying not to sound impressed, which she wasn't.
"Yes, really. I've done this more than anyone in this town and I've got the big cojones to prove it," he said challenging her again.
Vidia sat up, rolled over and lay astride Bobby. She put her face right up to his and said, "Well then, let's just see how big these cojones of yours really are."
"Uh, Vidia, you're a fairy. You do know what cojones are, right?"
Vidia just glared at him. She put her knee on his crotch and said. "I know exactly what they are and I intend to break yours into tiny…little…pieces."
"I would love to see you try," he said.
"Anytime you're ready, little man," she answered him, tweaking his nose for good measure.
"Then why don't we get to it?" he replied. "But be warned, I'm going to leave you gasping for breath and begging me for mercy. But I won't stop. I'm just going to keep on pushing until I make you scream."
"Big talk from a sixteen year old," Vidia replied. "I just hope you like living on your knees, because that's where you're going to be when I'm done with you. You'll be out of breath and out of luck. I'll be moving on to find someone who can really satisfy me. Someone with truly 'big cojones'."
"I'm right here, sweetheart, and I'm more than you can ever handle."
"NOT! You'll be screaming for your mommy."
"You're going down," Bobby told her boldly.
"You first," she countered.
Vidia and Bobby leapt up from his bed and readied themselves. She took off her shirt, leaving her with just a purple sports bra and blue denim jeggings. Bobby stripped of his shirt and went topless, with just blue jeans and a beaded necklace he wore for good luck. Vidia noticed his strong build and excellent muscle tone. She was impressed. But not enough to ever feel threatened by this poser.
After a moment to make ready they stared at each other, as if sizing the other up for what was about to come next. Then they engaged in a little more trash talking.
"Last chance to back out," he told her.
"What's wrong, honey? Chickening out so soon? I thought you were made of sterner stuff."
"You'll found out just how stern my stuff can be."
"Well then, got your little joystick ready?"
"I've got my BIG joystick ready!"
"Let's get started, I can't wait to eat you alive," Vidia replied with a superior tone.
"Don't choke," he said.
"Oh I can swallow anything you throw at me," she answered him.
Vidia and Bobby stood toe to toe, like two prize fighters ready for the winning bout. They each stared into the other's eyes looking for weakness or fear. Neither found it in the other. Vidia was surprised, she thought Bobby would tremble at the thought of going all the way. Maybe he wasn't full of hot air after all. She smiled, finally someone who could hold her attention. Not like that last kid, who could never go more than a few minutes at a time and needed longer to recover. Even his junk was just like him, small and pathetic.
Bobby was different, she could tell. His confident swagger came from knowing he could actually do it, not just pretending he could.
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(Okay, so what's going on here? If you care to check your answers just scroll down and read on.)
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"Ready?" he asked, a supremely confident smile on his face.
"Ready," she said, an equally confident smile on her own. "Do it."
Bobby pressed a button on the joystick that sent a wireless signal to his Xbox 360 Console. A thunderous sound filled the room. It came from his 1000 watt, 7.1 digital audio surround sound system with 12 inch tower speakers and a 15 inch subwoofer.
"Vidia vs. Bobby" read the screen on his gigantic 80 inch, Sharp Aquos Quattron LED television. "Level 10." The game was set all the way to its most difficult level.
"MAXIMUM OVERLOAD," came a booming voice which then announced, "DANCE OR DIE!"
Pulsating, thumping, window rattling music blasted through Bobby's bedroom. Vidia and Bobby both leapt into action, jumping and bouncing around. The screen showed arrows pointing in one of eight compass directions. The two were dancing on mats with nine squares and matching arrows on the eight outer squares, touching the corresponding arrow that appeared on the screen. Behind the on screen arrows were gyrating, polygon characters and strobe lights intended to create the atmosphere of a discotheque.
Vidia loved this game when played with someone of her own caliber. She hoped that Bobby would be that person. Now she was going to find out. Hopefully, that would happen before his mommy got home.
Yes, that's right, it is a dance video game. What did you think they were talking about?
You people have such dirty minds! ;)
Author's note: Please don't spoil the ending in the reviews. Thank you.