Disclaimer: There is no way I'm JK Rowling because JKR would never destroy her characters in such a smutty way!

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" . . . And one final announcement and you my carry your tired bodies off to your dormitories," Dumbledore was saying. "As you may have noticed, Harry Potter is missing from his friends sides. There is a reason for this. He has come into a sexual heritage that all of you will get to benefit from. He's called a Multianasexta. Basically, to survive he will be feeding off come and lactating breasts, he must satisfy his sexual desires about every half hour, he doesn't discriminate against anyone or anything as long as he can find his release by it, he will chose seven mates that he may chose to impregnate. He can do so without the aid of the potion and spells that are difficult and necessary for regular wizards to procreate. He can still have sex with anyone and anything after choosing his mates, so no worries there. Here are some rules we will now follow because of Harry's presence: One, if you are caught have sex in public with him or out past curfew with him it is okay because chances are you're submitting to his needs; Two, during meals if you wish for him to feed from your penis or vagina simply open your legs in welcome; Three, teachers can't punish you if Harry is getting his release from you during class hours; and Four, no raping Harry, you must have his permission just as he needs yours to get pleasure out of it. Any questions?"

The Halls tables were silently taking in the wonderful news that made them twitch with delight. Girls were pressing their wet vaginas to the wood benches and rotating their hips in circles at the thought of pleasure to come. Guys rubbed their hardening cocks as dreams of a soft mouth sucking them made them moan.

Hermione's hand rose with a question and asks when Dumbledore calls on her, "how dose he impregnate a male?"

"Ah, good question Miss Granger. With an answer you all will enjoy, I'm sure. Harry now has five penises. One is his original human penis that gives human sperm. Second is a thick dog cock that allows him to have pups. Third is a very thin penis that, when he decides to have children with a male, will travel up into his partner's penis to create eggs that he will fertilize with one of two previously mentioned dicks. Fourth is tentacle-like, it's thick, slimy and long; it hangs to his knees and is used for pleasure purposes. All the above cocks are all located at his crotch, along with his heavy set balls. The fifth is in his mouth: his tongue is now able to grow and squirt out semen that is sweet to the taste buds and when ingested it will cause all pain to become pleasure. So, don't be surprised if when you hurt yourself Harry is there to kiss you to relieve the pain," Dumbledore answered with a smirk.

"Any others?" The headmaster asked. No one had any more questions. "Good, off to bed. And don't be surprised if you find Harry in your bed tonight asking if you'll help him. Say no and he'll leave you alone, say yes and brace yourself for an all new kind of ecstasy."

The Gryffindors rushed to their dorm expecting Harry to be waiting there and in desperate need of sex. They were disappointed, however, when Harry could not be found.

Harry had a target in mind and was waiting under Draco's bed till his was tucked away and ready to sleep.

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Well that was the intro. My aim with this story and any others that I write is to give you stimulation to help aid readers in masturbation. If you didn't get off with this chapter . . . well that's not a big surprise, it's an info-intro that tells you how the story works. From here on in there will be sex, sex and more sex in every chapter. Enjoy!

Review to tell me what you think or want to see happen. Flames are laughed at because I know this is all ridiculous and that is that.