Through the Looking Glass
"Hold still," scolded B'Elanna as she made the final adjustments to the EMH's mobile emitter.
"It's difficult," replied the Doctor. "Perhaps, while you're working, I should have you suppress some of my personality subroutines. They're making me antsy."
"I could do with a little less irritability," put in Tom, from his seat at the medical console in sick bay. He'd ceased his work a half hour ago and now sat with his feet up on the desk watching B'Elanna's progress and the Doctor's discomfort; much more entertaining than the microbes he was supposed to be cataloging.
"That would take longer than it would for me to finish your personal transporter," B'Elanna replied slowly as she made yet another careful adjustment. "You really have to quit moving or else you're going to transport yourself into Neelix's pot."
"Probably taste better than what we normally get," laughed Tom. "Is it still cannibalism if the human we're eating is only a holographic one?"
"Very funny Mr. Par…" but The Doctor was interrupted by his own abrupt disappearance into a shimmer of light. B'Elanna groaned in annoyance.
"I told him to quit squirming," she said. "Can you figure out where he went to?"
Tom punched a few buttons.
"He's not anywhere," Tom answered.
"Not the holodeck," she asked, "or the regular pattern buffers?"
"I don't see him anywhere," he repeated, running the checks again. B'Elanna went to her own console and hit a few buttons. "You don't believe me?" he asked.
"I believe you," she said sadly. "I just don't want to believe…" her shoulders sagged, "that I deleted him."
"Even if you did," Tom replied comfortingly, "he's probably in the back up somewhere. He'll just have his memory of the last few days erased."
"Tom," she said, half heartedly re-searching the database. "I think he's gone."
=Λ= =Λ= =Λ=
Chakotay tried to hide his fatigue in the heat of the ore processing plant on Terrok Nor. He cocked his head from side to side, cracking his Cardassian neck bones again but it was little relief. His anterior cervical vertebrae had always seemed to make more noise than those of others and in secondary school he had used it to entertain his classmates and irritate their teachers. He had always been a quiet child and foolish diversions had helped him fit in but now his peers found it tiresome. One of the other guards eyed him with an irked expression so Chakotay took to pacing at his station instead to keep him awake.
He leaned over the edge of the balustrade to watch the Terrans work. He'd never admit it to his fellow guards but sometimes he thought he could understand how so many of the workers wore out before the end of their shifts. His shifts were not nearly as long yet sometimes he found it difficult to stay on his feet. He looked in vain for one Terran in particular. He tended to watch her especially. She was trouble. Not that she'd caused any yet, but he could see it in her eyes. The others didn't see her as a problem mostly because she helped waylay disputes amongst the other workers before the Cardassians had to become involved, but what Chakotay saw that perhaps the guards didn't see was that order and cooperation within a group of Terrans meant rebellion.
He scrutinized the crowd for a full ten minutes before he found her; the tiny woman with the auburn hair. She was pushing a cart of ore perhaps too big for her through processing and up to the refiner. He noticed the look on her face was more determined than usual and she was as stiff as a scarecrow. To any observer she looked stronger than ever at the end of her sixteen hour shift but not to Chakotay. He knew her step. She was exhausted. Perhaps that's why the Betazoid approached her just then.
Suder. Though he was Betazoid, it was said he did not possess the telepathic abilities of his species. Chakotay, however, suspected he still had a sense for weakness in others. He had been sent to them for correction and Gul Dukat had released him into the workers probably in part to amuse himself and to keep his subordinates afraid. She wasn't afraid of him. A fact Chakotay lamented because of this one, she should be. He began slowly making his way down to the workers' level.
"No, I do not need your help," Chakotay heard her say irritably as he walked up quietly behind the two. "Why? Because pushing this cart another ten feet is less repugnant than whatever help you will probably need from me later. Now, excuse me." Chakotay couldn't keep from smiling to himself when he got close enough to see her flashing blue eyes in the dim light. The look on her face spoke death to anyone that crossed her and he wondered for an instant why Suder had not already melted on the spot.
"I'm only trying to be of service," the Betazoid replied, his words slithering out of his mouth like silk. "If you get your work done faster then we have some time to go somewhere and… relax."
"With you?" she scoffed. "No thank you. I'd rather screw a Cardassian."
"No, really," he said, a little more angry and demanding this time. "Come." At that he took hold of her arm, none too gently, and when she ripped it away small blood stains where his nails had dug in began to spread across her sleeve. She rubbed the wounds; a disgusted expression stealing across her face. Suder returned the look with an angry one but as he moved closer to her she hauled back and punched him in the jaw.
"Bitch."The quietness with which he said the word was worse than if a thousand voices had screamed it. He made a move to requite the blow but Chakotay chose to step in at that moment.
"Move on Suder."
"This is a private affair between Kathryn and I," replied Suder indignantly, apparently unaware that Chakotay had been watching the entire time.
"It's Janeway to you," piped up the little Terran. Suder eyed her with a blank expression.
"Whatever this is," said Suder, turning back to Chakotay, "it's none of your concern."
"Work not getting done is very much my concern," he replied, moving his disruptor rifle to a more prominent position on his shoulder. Suder glanced at it. The big Cardassian endeavored to hide the chill he got while those inky black eyes measured up first the weapon then him. The Betazoid looked back at Janeway, face still determined then at Chakotay inexorable as death, and with a final grunt, slunk off. Janeway gave Chakotay a stiff nod of thanks and turned back to pushing her cart up the incline to the refiner. Chakotay fell into step next to her.
"What?" she said, tiredly. "Are you going to offer me help too?"
"No," he replied quietly. "Not unless you want it."
"And if I did take it, must I relax somewhere with you afterwards?"
"Of course not."
"Oh, I see," she scoffed. "You're one of those who need to seduce your victim; make them believe you're different and that you really care for them. Don't waste your time with me on that score. I've seen Dukat do it a hundred times and I'm not buying it."
Chakotay stuffed down his retort, knowing he'd never win that argument and changed tack.
"Suder didn't want to relax with you, as you put it," Chakotay went on.
"Oh?" said Janeway. "Did he want to kill me then?" but it wasn't really a question.
He wasn't surprised she knew. In all his time watching this little Terran he had always marveled at her ability to understand people.
"Probably," was all he answered. After a moment's silence he went on. "That's an awfully big load there."
"So what if it is?" she said, but he felt her guard go up.
"I didn't see you for a full ten minutes. Are you trying to make up for lost time?"
"I am. I needed a rest," she answered with forced indignation. "What does it matter as long as I meet my quota?"
"It matters what you were doing while you resting," said Chakotay keeping his eyes to the ground. Janeway struggled with what she wanted to say in return but nothing came out. He grabbed the cart to halt it and after taking a quick glance around turned to her, speaking in a hurried whisper. "Kathryn, I'm only trying to keep you out of trouble but you have…"
Their conversation was abruptly ended by a man glimmering into existence a meter above and dropping unceremoniously on the ground between them. The balding Terran in a strange turquoise and black uniform popped to his feet and began dusting himself off.
"Well, we'll have to let Lieutenant Torres know she missed Neelix's pot by a bit," he said, not without a good deal of sarcasm. "I suppose I'm in some forgotten waste reclamation bay right n…" His words tapered off as he finally got a good look at his surroundings. His eyes first settled on Janeway. "Captain?"
"What?" she blurted. His head whipped around to Chakotay and his mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water.
Chakotay tapped his com.
"Intendant," he said. "I've got an intruder. He's wearing one of those uniforms."
=Λ= =Λ= =Λ=
Intendant Kira fiddled with her hair and tucked it under her silver and platinum headdress irritably. She was overdue for her massage. Chakotay was taking too long and under any other circumstances she would have made him come back later but she had a soft spot for the other universe. The other Benjamin Sisko and the other Kira Nerys had been fun but rather petulant. Maybe this new comer would be more receptive and less troublesome. Whatever he ended up being, it was necessary for her to find out lest he become as disruptive as the others. Her door chimed.
"Come," she answered pulling her wrap in what she hoped was a more flattering array about her.
Chakotay escorted the new comer into the Intendant's quarters with his eyes infuriatingly on the ground.
"Intendant," he said quietly leading the prisoner in by the arm. "The intruder."
"I see that," she replied, looking The Doctor up and down. "What is your business here? Helping the Terran rebellion?" she asked with more annoyance than accusation. This one looked fairly innocuous and no fun at all. "Did Captain Sisko send you?"
"Sisko?" asked the EMH. "I'm not sure to whom you are referring. I am the doctor aboard the Federation vessel Voyager under Captain Janeway. I assure you I am here entirely by accident."
"Of course. All of you are here by accident. Transporter?"
"Yes," replied The Doctor confusedly. "Where exactly is here?"
"You don't know?" said Kira. "Maybe this one really was an accident. If you're from the Federation surely you're privy to the records from when Kirk made his little Trek to our side."
The Doctor momentarily searched his programming with a furrowed brow.
"Oh, yes. I have a deal of programming based on Leonard McCoy. It's all in here. Am I in the mirror universe?"
"Yes, I believe that's what your side calls it," answered Kira, distracted in her own turn. "What do you mean by programming? And what is that on your sleeve? Is that a personal transporter? Chakotay, why didn't you confiscate it?"
"Well he can't," answered the Doctor. "Because, you see, it is me, in a sense. I'm a hologram, and this is my mobile emitter."
Kira brightened up a little at that. She understood holograms could be useful and the individual emitter opened up entirely new possibilities. Visions of entire immortal holographic armies marched through her head.
"I think we'll keep him," she said smiling slyly at Chakotay. "He'll make a nice pet. Now, Chakotay, it's time for my massage. I've been waiting all day. Don't pout. If anyone else could do as well as you I'd ask them."
The big Cardassian shifted uncomfortably and glanced at the EMH.
"Oh, yes. Him," said Kira, turning to the Doctor. "You don't want to watch, do you? I didn't suppose so. Go walk around until Chakotay comes for you."
"You want to turn him loose?" asked Chakotay.
"If he could go back I think he would have by now," replied Kira, considering the Doctor. "And if we turn him off, who knows if he'll come back on. He'll probably just get lost anyway. Get him out of here. I'm getting impatient."
The Doctor had no time to say anything on his own behalf before Chakotay shoved him roughly out the door.
=Λ= =Λ= =Λ=
The Doctor paid little attention to where he was wandering in Terrok Nor, which he now understood to be Deep Space Nine in his universe. His memory would record his steps and if worse came to worst he could always pull up schematics for DS9. His main problem now, was how to extract himself from this situation. He supposed B'Elanna was doing her utmost to retrieve him but that might take a while since she likely didn't know where he went. For now he simply needed to lay low, stay out of trouble and hope the Intendant didn't come up with anything too horrible for him to do.
What was that?
The Doctor thought he heard a noise a little farther up. He peered into the darkness and thought he saw a small shadow. It flitted a little farther up as the Doctor came closer.
"Who's there?" the EMH called. A whimper came from the figure and it ran on. He followed. "Are you alright?" There was no reply but he saw the shadow again further down the alley they'd wandered into. It seemed to wait for him around the corner. Against his better judgment the Doctor kept on. When he nearly reached the mysterious figure, it darted around the corner. When the EMH made the turn as well he stopped abruptly. The figure who he'd seen only in shadows before was crouched down with her face in her arms. She was crying. The Doctor thought he spied a tiny Ktarian horn peeking out from under the hood she wore but he couldn't be sure.
"My mama," the cloaked girl whimpered. "Will you come?"
"Is she sick? Hurt?" asked the Doctor.
"Will you help?"
"If I can."
The girl darted up before he could get a look at her and sprinted further down the alley into the darkness. The Doctor ran to catch her up but even with his holographic eyes soon lost sight of her.
"Come back," he yelled after her. "I can't help if I…urhg" The Doctor grunted as he was forcibly pulled through a door way to the side of him and thrown onto the floor. The Doctor coughed and spluttered trying to expel the dirt that had gotten in his throat. He rolled over to find Harry Kim and B'Elanna Torres staring down at him.
"That him?" asked Harry.
"Gotta be," answered B'Elanna. "Look at the uniform"
"Nice work Naomi," said a third figure walking up to take her own look. The Doctor raised himself up to his elbows to look around for himself, and indeed, the now unhooded Naomi Wildman stood next to Janeway.
"Were you two followed?" asked Janeway.
"Uh uh," answered the little girl, shaking her head.
"That's good, but we can't be too careful. Chakotay noticed when I was gone today," she added turning to B'Elanna. "I don't think I can get away with slipping out during a shift again."
"Well that puts a wrench in things," answered B'Elanna. "You can't work on the passage if you can't get away."
"We might not need it," put in Harry, "if this guy here works out like you think he will."
"Well," answered B'Elanna. "Let's see what we've got." They all turned toward the Doctor.
They were in the middle of a dark storage unit lit by outside lights that shone over the walls and revealed the open roof. The Doctor wasn't sure what to do. He seemed to feel a natural trust for these people but they weren't his people, he reminded himself. Chakotay had been different to say the least.
"What do you want from me?" He asked finally, sitting up.
"You're from the other side?" said Janeway.
"Yes."
"Then you have transporter technology," reasoned B'Elanna. "We want it."
"And if I gave it to you," asked the EMH, "then what happens to me?"
"That all depends on you," said Harry.
"Well, unfortunately for you," replied the hologram, "I'm a doctor, not an engineer. I know nothing about how to build a transporter. What do you want it for anyway? Are you trying to escape to our side?"
"The transporters were all destroyed here after Kirk came," answered Harry. "If we at least had an example we could build our own and get out of here."
"Plus," added B'Elanna, "it would help those of us who are fighting for our freedom. We could move things around, move people."
"Well, the technology is here in my arm," replied the Doctor. "If you think you can find what you need without damaging it I'd be willing to help you but I need a favor in return."
"What's that?" asked Janeway.
"I'd like to get back to my side if I could."
"I'll see what I can do," replied B'Elanna, but I can't promise anything.
"So you'll help us then?" asked Harry.
"I suppose I will."
"Alright," said B'Elanna. "You'll need to come with us."
"I don't think I can," answered the Doctor. "I'm expected back. If I don't show up I'm sure the Intendant will come looking for me. That can't be good for you."
"Fine," conceded B'Elanna. "Go back for now but meet us back here as soon as you're free. Naomi will be on the lookout for you. You can send a message to us through…"
"Shhh," said Janeway suddenly pulling everyone back into the shadows behind some equipment. She nodded to a place high above them. A blonde haired blue eyed woman was peering down at them from on top of the wall but she darted back quickly as soon as she was spotted.
"Who was that?" asked Harry.
"Annika," answered Janeway. The Doctor though he caught a note of distain in her voice. "Collaborator," Janeway added.
"We need to get moving," said B'Elanna. "Who knows how much she heard."
The group went to the door and peered out cautiously into the dark alley.
"Looks clear," said Janeway, "but we need to scatter. Be careful and we'll get a message out as soon as we can meet up. You," she nodded at the EMH. "You're with me." The rest nodded and ran off. The Doctor followed Janeway down the alley.
"So," she began quietly. "Is that thing on your arm your personal transporter?"
"It is, among other things."
"Can it only take you, or can you bring others?"
"Only me," he replied, "but if some wanted to refugee to our side I'm sure we could find the frequency to make it happen. I have to warn you, though. The ship I'm on is clear on the other side of the galaxy."
"Sounds good to me," she answered. "As long as it's not…" Janeway gasped as both their arms were grabbed from behind. The Cardassian that caught up to them twisted them both around to get a look at their faces. It was Chakotay. He stared hard at Janeway for what seemed like an eternity before he let go of her. He drug the Doctor behind him and did not look back as he moved forward out of the alley.
=Λ= =Λ= =Λ=
Janeway hurried as fast as she could to the lean-to she'd constructed a week or two ago. The business with the stranger had taken longer than she wanted and it didn't help she had to take the long way here to avoid any other Cardassians. She would be lucky if no one else had stolen it already.
Kathryn stopped short when she heard a noise coming from the tiny structure. Damn. Someone was in there. She hoped she wouldn't need to get into a fight for this one miniscule bit of space. She couldn't afford to get hurt. Not now. Janeway fished under her clothing for the small knife she'd made. She'd barely had time to work on it and it wasn't sharp but she'd gotten a good point on and could at least defend herself. She crept up to the opening in the tarp she'd draped over the side and pulled it back quickly, brandishing the knife.
"Ahhh!"
She was met with the startled scream of a small Terran boy, about seven or eight, with bright blue eyes. Janeway shook off the memory he'd brought to mind and kept the knife in plain sight.
"Get out," she said roughly.
"This is my spot," returned the boy, with equal determination. He didn't appear to be moving anytime soon. Janeway understood that claims to property here were shaky at best but she had to have her little shack back. There was no two ways about it.
"I built this. It's mine. Get out!" she repeated more forcefully.
"Won't. It ain't yours. You weren't here."
"Don't make me do something I'll regret," said Janeway. She grabbed the boy by his shirt and drug him up out of bed, putting the knife point to his chin.
"Fine ya old bitch. Have it," he replied, shoving her off of him and going out the flap.
Janeway shoved down the twinge of guilt she felt deep inside her and closed it off from her conscious mind. He'd have to learn sometime. He'd have to learn you can't trust anyone. Not for long anyway. You can use them for awhile but you have to let them go eventually, and you can't get too close. A soft dinging came from the wall that her shack leaned up against, interrupting her thoughts. Janeway sighed with relief. She hadn't missed it. It would have been bad if she did. She frantically felt around the wall in the dark. The notch was hard to find when she couldn't see but she located it and ripped the small panel out of the wall to grab the dinging com.
"Tuvok, I'm here."
"Anything to report?" asked the down to business Vulcan.
"Lots," she replied and filled him in on the events of the day.
"It is troublesome that you were seen," replied Tuvok. "Do you think Chakotay will report you as well?"
"No," said Janeway slowly. "I think we're safe there."
"Are you sure?"
"I am."
"Then things are not altogether lost. It is likely that the woman will not be able to see the Intendant immediately. I will inform the others that we may need to perform and extraction. Be ready at any time."
"Will do." Janeway silenced the com and replaced the panel that hid it. Was this really happening? Their original plan had been to tunnel out to a cargo bay and hide themselves in the outgoing refuse. Then Tuvok, disguised as a sanitation worker would haul them out on a small stolen waste barge. It would take awhile but it was the safest way. What Tuvok was planning was risky but now they were out of time and what if they were caught? Her own plans beyond what the group had in mind would fail too. She wouldn't think about that now though.
Janeway flopped down on her makeshift cot and Janeway tried to sleep a little but inside, her thoughts ran at full tilt around her head. Their plan had changed dramatically since the interloper had shown up. There was no telling what might happen with him. If they were going to take advantage of this, they would have to throw caution to the wind.
What would it be like on the outside? For the first time in her life she really wondered what it would like to be free; imagined it. Not in the silly daydream way all the workers escaped, but truly put herself into the shoes of one who had no one to answer to. What would it be like if I woke up tomorrow and could roll right back over and go back to sleep… for as long as I wanted? The thought sank in that it might actually happen and Janeway was giddy for a second. No more work. No more hauling ore. No more spoonheads telling me what to do. No more clawing to survive, fighting your own allies. No more backstabbing… Her mood grew surly again and she quickly reminded herself that it may never happen and life on the outside could easily be as difficult as in. But still… a life without Cardassians hanging over her all the time couldn't be that bad.
She thought back to her encounter with Chakotay. It had been a close call. Chakotay probably had other orders about the newcomer however. She'd been lucky. Still… he'd grabbed her arm more gently than others had and he hadn't hurt her. She couldn't get the look in his eyes out of her head either. It was if it had pained him that he'd caught her. Well, she couldn't stay up mulling that one over. She had to be rested as best she could if their plan was going to work. Janeway stuffed her thin pillow over her head as if it would drown out her thoughts and tried to get some sleep.
=Λ= =Λ= =Λ=
Chakotay didn't say a word as he drug the Doctor into Intendant Kira's quarters. The Doctor hoped that the fact Chakotay had let Janeway go was a good sign but there was something else he was curious about. He felt around his waist band for a moment. Ah! It was still there!
"You found him!" smiled Kira at their arrival. She stood over a table set for two. "Chakotay, I was getting worried I might have to eat by myself. Sit down."
"What should I do about him?" he asked, giving the EMH a shove forward with his gun.
"We'll make him wait on us," she answered, delighted with her own idea. She turned towards the Doctor. "Do I have to program you, or can you take orders?"
"I can respond like any other sentient being," replied the Doctor, slightly offended.
"Alright then," she said ignoring his attitude for now. She would do something about that later. "Start by changing out of that uniform. I'm tired of looking at it. For this occasion…" Kira bit her lip while she decided, "Roman serving boy, I think."
The Doctor rolled his eyes while he complied with the request. He thought it wise not to raise any suspicion just now. He would need to be free to roam if he were going to get back to the group. As his Starfleet uniform melted into the altogether too short white serving robes and a complimentary set of laurels near his ears, he caught the piece of equipment that had been at his belt before it could hit the floor.
"What's that," snapped Kira, spotting it instantly.
"My medical tricorder," replied the Doctor, holding it up. "It was with me when I was transported here. It's not part of my matrix, so I can't alter it."
"Why should I believe you?"
"Here, I'll show you." The Doctor popped the scanner out of the machine and did a quick scan of Kira before she could object. He turned the screen towards her. "You are a healthy Bajoran female, but I'd have that blood pressure looked at if I were you. It's a little high."
Kira frowned at the screen. Finally she conceded and waved it away. "Alright but put it away while you're waiting on us. The food is in the kitchen. All you need to do is bring it out. Chakotay, why aren't you sitting?"
The Doctor nodded, tucked the tricorder in his robes, and hurried into the kitchen. Maybe this was his opportunity to solve the mystery he'd been wondering about. He took out the scanner again. Hmmmm. Where to hide it and still be able to use it? He could palm it. Perhaps use some sort of slight of hand to keep it concealed. That might get in the way though and he rather not have it confiscated for blatantly disobeying orders. What if…
The Doctor quickly punched a few buttons on his mobile emitter. A compartment opened up in his right hand and he put the scanner inside. He punched another button and the hole closed up. He wriggled his fingers around some, which were stiff and his hand was fatter than usual but he doubted Kira would notice. The EMH picked up his tricorder and waved his right hand over the meat they were to eat for dinner. Dead targ. It was working unless Kira hadn't chosen Klingon food for the evening. He picked up the tray and bustled out of the kitchen.
"Finally," said Kira with irritation. "If that targ had gotten cold, there would have been hell to pay." Bingo. It was working. The Doctor laid the tray on the table, swiping his hand by Chakotay as he moved away and hitting him in the shoulder in the process.
"Excuse me," the EMH said quickly. Chakotay grunted but said nothing. The Doctor couldn't help note how disgruntled he seemed to be there.
"We need some blood wine," ordered Kira. "I've had a taste for it ever since the Klingons stayed here a month ago." The Doctor hurried back into the kitchen to get it. He pulled out his tricorder and checked it. Not enough data to get a read. He'd have to try again.
"The wine is on the counter!" he heard Kira yell. She was getting impatient. He grabbed the bottle and ran out. "Honestly," she said. "If I'd known you'd be this slow I'd have just gotten the wine myself. Can't you program yourself to move faster? Never mind. Pour it."
The EMH moved to fill Chakotay's glass. While he poured with his left he waved his right hand feverishly behind Chakotay's back.
"What are you doing?" snapped Kira. The Doctor froze. Oh no. That had to have looked suspicious. She stood up and walked towards him.
"Nothing. I was just…"
Kira snatched the wine bottle out of his hand.
"You pour wine with both hands. Look, you've gotten it everywhere! Go back in the kitchen. I'll call you if you're needed."
The Doctor meantally breathed a sigh of relief and rushed back through the door to the ditchen. He pulled out the tricorder and inspected the data, comparing it to that which he already had on file. Just as he suspected. This Chakotay was as human as the other one. The genetic alteration that had been done to him couldn't hide it from the scans. The question was, did this Chakotay know it? He hadn't flinched a muscle when the Doctor had demonstrated the abilities of the tricorder. Still, if he was playing a part he might be able to help, but what if he were a traitor? Somehow, the Doctor didn't think so. He opened the door a crack and peeped out to watch the diners. Chakotay was staring at his food, eating mechanically. Kira was staring at Chakoty, or rather boring holes into him with her eyes.
"Where did you say you found him again?" she asked.
"He was over by the warehouses."
"What was he doing there?"
"No idea. Probably lost."
"And he wasn't talking to anyone?"
He took advantage of the large tough bite of targ he'd just put in his mouth to chew for an extra long time. In the end, he was spared the trouble of answering by someone coming through the door.
"Oh! I'm sorry," said Annika. "I didn't realize you were at dinner."
"It's no trouble," replied Kira. "In fact, I'm thankful you're here. Chakotay is being an awful bore. Sit with us."
"Um…" Annika eyed Chakotay warily. "I only came to tell you something."
"Oh? Well what is it?'
The blue-eyed, blonde-haired woman who the Doctor recognized to be Seven-of-Nine's counterpart in this universe went immediately to Kira and whispered in her ear. Kira's face grew surly. She thought a moment when Annika had finished.
"But did you see him there?" Kira asked.
Annika's eyes darted to Chakotay again, whose fork hung mid air as he stared intently at the women.
"No," answered Annika.
"Very well. Chakotay," Kira ordered. "Go get hologram and deactivate him."
=Λ= =Λ= =Λ=
Chakotay sat alone with his arms crossed tightly over his chest, waiting for Kira to finish her bath. He'd been ordered to stay so he could go nowhere. She was doing this to him on purpose, making him wait to hear what Annika had told her. He could guess what it was about. Annika had lied about seeing him with the Terran when he found the Doctor. He knew that she saw. She always saw everything, creeping along the wall tops, watching everyone. Kira trusted no one though, and she suspected him. She couldn't prove anything either unless the hologram told her. He was deactivated on her table next to her bath right now. Chakotay had no idea if he could trust the Doctor, but he figured the Doctor had nothing to gain by aligning himself with the Intendant. Chakotay hoped he'd realize that quick enough.
"Chakotay," Kira called him in a sing song fashion from her bathroom. When he walked in she wasn't quite finished yet. Annika was sponging her back as she draped her arms over the front of the tub to face him when he came in. Chakotay imagined she thought she was tempting him; giving him an image of two beautiful women and then taking away any chance of fulfillment. It stroked her ego to think that he wanted her but in truth the pain was in that the one he did want, he could never have. He noted the Doctor's emitter and turned his eyes to the ground.
"Chakotay, I have a job for you," Kira said, trying to catch his eye. "In light of what Annika has just told me, we'll need to make a few arrests. There were some Terrans plotting today over in the warehouses. I'm surprised you didn't see them when you found the hologram there. It's really quite odd. They were plotting to cut their way through to the cargo bay. First thing, I need you to assemble a team to weld up all the grates they cut. Don't just fix them. We need metal plates over everything now. Let's see, the list of names of the people she saw was quite short so you ought to be able to take care of the arrests on your own. I need you to arrest Harry Kim and Naomi Wildman…"
"The Wildman girl is just a child."
"But she was there. The half Klingon B'Elanna Torres was there as well but she belongs to a very wealthy and influential Klingon house. We'll just have to ship her off to them and let them deal with her as they see fit. She'll likely be dead in a week. And one more name I had though I'm not sure I remember it. What was it, Annika? Oh yes…. Kathryn Janeway."
Chakotay had been prepared for the order when Kira had started naming off the people he saw running through the warehouses today. He kept his eyes to the ground but he couldn't hide how he'd tensed up at her name. Kira had seen too.
"What's the matter?" she asked. "Is the job too much trouble for you? Surely you can round up three small Terrans. Or is it who you have to arrest that gives you pause."
Chakotay looked up at Kira but said nothing. If she knew…
"I can't prove you saw anyone in the warehouses today, Chakotay, but I believe you did. And I also believe you have feelings for that ugly little Terran Janeway." Kira's voice had turned to a hideous sneer. "She'll never love you, you know. Not like I did. Not like Annika here. It's a shame you threw her over for a slave who hates the very sight of you. Why don't you just take her? Oh yes. Not you. Not Chakotay the kind Cardassian. You'll see. All your kindness will bring you nothing but an empty bed in the end. Now go. Tend to your orders." Kira rolled over in her bath and closed her eyes dismissing Annika. Red faced, she brushed by Chakotay without looking at him. Not taking a moment to think, while Kira's eyes were closed, Chakotay quietly palmed the emitter and then walked out the door.
=Λ= =Λ= =Λ=
When the Doctor was reactivated, he was in a dark alley.
"Humph. It's a good thing my uniform came back when I reset myself," said the Doctor aloud. "If I were human I might have caught cold."
When his vision finally finished booting he saw Chakotay standing in front of him holding out his medical tricorder. He wasn't quite sure what to think. He'd feel as though this was his execution if Chakotay hadn't been returning his possessions to him. But why?
"The Intendant knows about Janeway's plans. She knows about the route they've cut through the tunnels too. Go to her and tell her she has to get out of here tonight," said Chakotay not wasting any time. He turned to go as soon as his words were out.
"Wait," called the Doctor. "Where is she? What about everyone else?" His calls were in vain, however. The big Cardassian had already disappeared down the corridor. The Doctor huffed to himself but only for a moment. The first order of business was to figure out where he was. He adjusted his eyes to be able to see in the dim light. He looked around him for some tell tale sign to cross reference with his memory and schematics of DS9 from his own universe. As he searched from top to bottom, to his surprise he caught sight of a small figure huddled in the corner.
"Naomi?"
"Is he gone?" she asked cautiously.
"I believe so."
"I told you I'd come find you," Naomi said getting up and taking off her hood. "C'mon. Everyone's waiting."
=Λ= =Λ= =Λ=
Naomi led the Doctor through a maze of corridors in the warehouse section of Terrok Nor. Even he had to review his memory several times to figure out where he was. All of a sudden, Naomi pulled aside a curtain on the wall that had been well camouflaged under some hanging tarps. When they entered, he saw B'Elanna, Harry, and Janeway waiting for him.
"Where have you been?" asked B'Elanna when she saw the Doctor. "We almost left you."
"I'm sorry for the inconvenience," replied the EMH in his usual unflapped tone. "It didn't suit the Intendant's schedule and I was deactivated for half the time."
"If it weren't for that thing on your arm I might deactivate you too," retorted B'Elanna. "We're in a hurry."
"Wait!" said the Doctor. "Where are you going?"
"We're getting out of here tonight," replied Harry.
"That woman overheard us the other night," added B'Elanna. "It makes all our other plans just as risky as this one so we figure we ought to get out sooner than later."
"You can't go tonight," said the Doctor.
"Why is that?" asked Janeway.
"Because they're on to you," answered the Doctor. "Or at least that's what Chakotay told me when he reactivated me."
"What?" exclaimed Janeway. "When was this?"
"Just a few moments ago."
"What do you think?" she asked, turning to the group.
"I think we need to risk it anyway," said B'Elanna.
"Our outside people are coming," said Harry. "We can't stop them now."
"So we go for it?"
They all nodded. The Doctor all thought they were crazy but deep down he knew his own people would do no less.
=Λ= =Λ= =Λ=
"I know you took the hologram."
Chakotay started at the voice behind him. He had been deep in thought and hadn't noticed the person that had come into his room.
"What do you want Annika?" he asked not turning to look at her.
"I saw it in your hand when you walked by the door."
"What if I did take him?" asked Chakotay irritably, finally standing to face her. If she was going to challenge him, he couldn't be weak about it. He took a step or two closer to her and loomed menacingly.
Annika didn't flinch and met his glower full on. "The Intendant hasn't noticed yet. She's taking a nap. I could put it back where it was."
"You could, could you? For what?"
"I never said I wanted anything."
"Annika…" his voice had warning in it.
"I think you know. I just want to be with you. I still love you, you know."
"Annika, it isn't love if it involves blackmail. Anyway, it's too late to give him back. I let him go."
"Let him go!" Her blue eyes grew wide with fear for a moment but only a moment. She contained it quickly and came up with a new plan. "I could still plant broken pieces behind the table and blame one of the servants. She'd never know the difference."
"You'd sacrifice the life of a servant to get what you want?"
Annika turned away from him. When he looked at her like that she couldn't bear it. It wasn't that he was angry just so… disappointed in her.
"It isn't like that," she replied fiercely.
"Then what is it like?" asked Chakotay. She didn't answer. "You can go ahead and tell Kira anything you like. I never wanted to hurt you, Annika, but I don't love you and I never will. And even if I had, how could I now when you're so willing to betray me if I don't do what you want?"
At the word betrayal, her face crumbled and she could hide her emotions no longer. Tears began to run down her cheeks.
"I never meant it that way."
"It's not always about what you mean. What you do counts more."
"It doesn't matter what I do anymore," she said, voice still shaking from the tears. "I'm despised among my people, and only a servant to anyone else. You're the only one who treats me like a person."
"Then why don't you come away with me. Just as a friend," he added when she looked up hopefully.
"You're leaving Terrok Nor?"
"Yes as soon as possible."
"But why?"
"You're not the only one who feels out of place amongst you're people. I'm tired of being called weak because I refuse to beat the workers. I'm tired of being pursued by the Intendant and made to carry out all kinds of cruel tasks."
"You're following Janeway aren't you?" said Annika. "It's true what Kira said and you let the hologram go to tell her we knew about their plan."
"Annika, don't be so jealous." Chakotay hadn't thought of following the Terrans but that wouldn't matter if Annika told Kira that it might as well be true. He was on thin ice now and he had to tread carefully.
"Think about what you're saying," he pleaded. "The Terrans all hate me. I'm Cardassian. Even if I did have their best interests at heart, they'd never believe me."
"I'm the one that doesn't believe you," she spat back. "I'm telling the Intendent. You had your chance to save yourself and you threw it away." She turned her back on him and walked out the door.
"Annika, don't do this," he called after her, but it was too late.
=Λ= =Λ= =Λ=
"Are you sure this is the place."
"It's got to be the place."
"How can you tell? It's so dark."
"The Doctor guy can see in the dark and he says it's the place."
"Would you all be quiet? We need to be quiet."
Harry, B'Elanna, Janeway, Naomi, and the Doctor crouched in nervous wait at the rendezvous point Tuvok had given them. The time crept by but still no allies and no enemies either. The Doctor was beginning to think perhaps they had evaded the Cardassians at least for the present.
"This is taking for…"
"Shhhh!"
BOOM!
The explosion sounded far off but it shook the walls and the floor beneath them. They heard an alarm go off and voices yelling at a distance.
BOOM!
This one was a little closer.
BOOM!
The next one was farther away off to their right. Then another and another all over the station. Then a faint cry of get out of the way!
"That was for us," cried Janeway dragging whoever she could to the opposite wall.
BOOM!
The wall they'd been sitting by came crumbling down. A light muted by the swirling dust streamed into the corridor and Tom Paris climbed through.
"Wasn't a good way in so we made our own. Remote detonaters all over the ship. Some were decoys to get them to chase their tails for a little while but we have to hurry. Hey there darlin'." Tom grabbed B'Elanna and kissed her fiercely.
"As you say, Mr. Paris," said Tuvok, following shortly behind Tom. "We must hurry. I attempted to explain to Mr. Paris the lack of subtly of his method," he added apologetically to Janeway, "but my argument did not seem to penetrate his understanding."
"Doesn't matter now," she said. "C'mon, people. Let's move."
BOOM! One more explosion went off at a good distance and the group moved off into the dusty tunnel. Once the detonations had stopped, their foot steps seemed nearly as loud in the deadly quiet that was left behind. More alarms when off in the distance. They thought they heard phaser fire too but they put it out of their heads. Just keep going. Just keep going. Their feet pounded out the phrase in Janeway's mind. Only 100 more meters until freedom. To run this last leg was nothing to pushing a cart of ore up hill in the heat. Suddenly everyone came to an abrupt halt. Looming, silhouetted in the light and masked by the dust was a figure of a Cardassian blocking their next exit.
=Λ= =Λ= =Λ=
When the Cardassian came into the light, they saw that it was Chakotay.
"You can't go this way. They've been tracking you all night," he said quickly.
"How do you know?" asked Janeway, stepping up to him and trying to read his face. He'd always helped her but this seemed like too much.
"Because they've been watching me too, but I know their tricks and I saw them. I just got rid of the tail."
"This was our last way out," said Tom.
"Well it's blocked now," said Chakotay. "Come with me. They've already found your ship but I have one."
"Wait a minute," put in B'Elanna. "How in the hell do you expect us to trust you?"
"Because he's human," piped up the Doctor.
"He's what?" blurted out Janeway.
"Human. Terran, I mean. His counterpart in my world is Terran as well so I wondered. I managed to get a reading of him at dinner to confirm. I can show you all the medical tricorder read outs if you'd like."
Chakotay didn't have time to register the full shock of what the Doctor had said. It made sense though. He often couldn't stand the heat that his fellow guards often took for granted and he'd always felt different in a way he could never put his finger on. Plus there had been dreams and memories, infantile as they were, that he could never quite reconcile with the rest of his life. No time to meditate on that now, however but if this new turn of events made them trust him he would embrace it.
Janeway was staring up at him intently. He had her hand poised as if she wanted to reach up and touch his face but she pulled it quickly back. He stared right back, hoping his eyes were the openings to his heart he wanted them to be. He was telling the truth. They needed to believe him and believe him quickly.
"I want to believe you…" said Janeway, "but…"
"We don't have time for this," said Tom. "Let's ditch the Cardie and keep going. We can blast our way out if we have to."
"It would be illogical to go any further in this direction," put in Tuvok, "if the enemy has indeed confiscated our ship."
"Says this guy," reasoned B'Elanna. Janeway and he were still staring each other down. They needed to get going already.
"He didn't tell the Intendant he saw you," said the Doctor.
"What?" asked Janeway, turning to the EMH.
"I heard him. When the Intendant asked Chakotay if I was with anyone was with me when he found me, he lied and said no. No one else was in the room besides me so I can only assume he did it to protect you."
Kathryn and Chakotay looked back at each other. No one said a thing for a full minute.
"Where is your ship?" she asked finally.
"Just up an air lock. Lets go."
Suddenly they heard heavy boots coming towards them and a voice yell, Chakotay's got them. This way. Three Cardassians came pelting up the corridor. All eyes were on Chakotay but he answered the calls of the approaching enemy with shots from his rifle. Once all three were down, the group followed him without hesitation.
=Λ= =Λ= =Λ=
While it was a short flight, it seemed to take forever to get to the small moon orbiting Bajor. It took even longer trying to stay in orbit and away from prying sensors before Tuvok could make contact with the rebels and get permission to enter the underground camp. They were in a tenuous spot and no one could be trusted. Not even allies.
Chakotay was immediately escorted to confinement upon their arrival. He wasn't surprised and didn't complain. He knew it would be some chore to convince them he'd really left the other side.
Janeway inadvertently took charge, helping where she could and organizing when her physical strength wore out. Tom, Harry, and Tuvok went immediately about their duties and B'Elanna went to work on the Doctor's emitter attempting to discover what she could about its transporter technology.
"So it looks like," began B'Elanna, "the thing creates a transport field around itself then moves your particles into a tiny buffer in the emitter. Then the emitter's molecules are changed to particles but it needs a larger transporter to relay off of. In the end it's really two transports all at once: you into the emitter and then the emitter after that. Since you're pretty much contained in your emitter as it is, it's a relatively simple process. Based on how the emitter is transported I can probably extrapolate the technology to other objects."
"Can you apply that technology to the emitter so more than just myself can be transported?"
"I suppose I could expand the transport field around you," answered B'Elanna thoughtfully, "but it'll take some tweaking once you're in there to transport just what you want. I think it could be done though and it'll take some time."
"Go right ahead," replied the Doctor. "Just out of curiosity, I thought the Klingons were on the other side."
"They are."
"Then…"
"What am I doing here?"
"Precisely, if you don't mind my asking."
"I don't mind," she said while she tinkered. "I get asked that a lot. The answer is Tom."
"I'm not surprised."
"Oh? You'd be the first."
"Your counterparts are together on my side as well."
"Really?" B'Elanna paused to smile to herself. "They got it as hard as we do?"
"Not quite. How did you two end up together."
"Well," she went back to work, "my mother's family is fairly prominent. Enough so to ignore my half human heritage on the surface. Not so much in practice. When I was younger I spent more time with the servants' kids than I did other Klingon kids and Tom ended up being my best friend. One thing led to another and…"
"I can imagine."
"While I was with him, I got a better picture of how Terrans were treated. When he told me that he planned on joining the Terran rebellion, there was no doubt in my mind that I'd go with him and here I am."
B'Elanna grew quiet after telling her story. She was getting to a tricky part so the Doctor took to observing the others in the camp. He couldn't help but wonder what everyone else's past was like. Their backgrounds were so different but the people seemed so much like those he knew. He spotted Janeway off at a distance, pausing in her work and stretching her back. Tuvok approached her and the two walked off away from everyone else. The Doctor's curiosity got the better of him. He turned up his hearing sensitivity and focused it on Janeway and Tuvok.
"…given it any further thought?" asked Tuvok.
"Honestly, I haven't." Janeway sounded irritated, as if she were being pressured.
"I can understand your hesitation, but I will say what this camp needs is a good leader. Ever since Benjamin Sisko died and his counterpart refuses to stay…"
"And you think I would be able to fill that role?"
"Look at what you've done as soon as you set foot in the camp. You've already organized that group of individuals over there and…"
"Tuvok, I can't hear this right now," she interrupted. "I don't think I can do it. I never agreed to it when I took your help and you never asked me to."
"I am asking you now."
Janeway said nothing and crossed her arms.
"Is it because you are afraid to be hurt again?" he asked bluntly.
"Let's not bring that up now," replied Janeway, hurriedly turning her back on him.
"But the likely hood…"
"I said I don't want to talk about it."
"As you wish." Tuvok nodded and left her alone. The Doctor thought Janeway looked like a broken spirit after that. Her head hung and her shoulders drooped. He wondered what it had been that had upset her so much. In this place that could be anything.
"ALL DONE."
The Doctor jumped about a foot in the air and quickly turned the volume down on his hearing.
"What was that?" asked B'Elanna. "It's not like I yelled in your ear or anything."
"I was simply startled," replied the EMH trying to regain his composure. "When can we transport?"
"As soon as you're ready."
"Give me just a moment."
=Λ= =Λ= =Λ=
The Doctor went off in search of the confinement area. When he saw it, Chakotay looked nearly as spend as Janeway had a moment ago. He was lying on a cot in a cell with an arm draped over his eyes.
"Are you awake?" asked the Doctor, tapping on the bars.
"Yes." Chakotay sat up tiredly to greet the Doctor.
"It doesn't look very comfortable in there."
"I have you to thank for it. Before you fell out of the sky I was just a happy Cardassian guard going about my life."
"Were you happy?"
"No. I wasn't. What did you want to see me about?"
"I'm ready to transport back to my universe."
"Oh. Well good luck then." Chakotay lay back down on his cot.
"I want you to come with me. B'Elanna has fixed my transporter so that I can bring someone along."
Chakotay perked up a little at that. But he couldn't go. There was too much to find out and do here. What would he do on that side anyway? He couldn't think of a think and he told the Doctor so.
"I wouldn't be keeping you there permanently," said the EMH. "I only want to do you a favor for helping. I want to put you back to the species your DNA says you are supposed to be."
"You want to make me Terran?" asked Chakotay. "Is that possible?"
"As possible as it was to make you Cardassian in the first place. Think about it. You're a wanted man now. As a Cardassian, even if the rebels trust you, you'd never really be able to hide. Come with me and then we'll send you back as you were meant to be."
Chakotay only hesitated for a moment.
"Alright, I'll go."
B'Elanna was a little nervous when the Doctor told her he wanted to transport another person along with himself but after a few adjustments and a word from Chakotay that he was willing to risk it, she said she'd give it a try. The two stood out in the open to avoid accidentally transporting anyone else.
"I think," said B'Elanna, still doing some last minute tweaks on the emitter, "I've got enough info form the transport logs to get you back to where you came from. First I'll need to adjust the parameters of the transport field from the relay transporter over there. When I give the word, tap this button. The transport range will have about an 8 foot radius around the emitter so don't get outside of that or you might lose a foot. If we're lucky, you won't take any of the floor with you. Ok, you and Chakotay go stand over there and I'll configure… NO! WAIT!"
=Λ= =Λ= =Λ=
B'Elanna and Tom barely had time to dive out of the way when they saw the eight foot shimmer of light cover the ceiling of sick bay. Chakotay and Janeway stood on the sidelines and watched as the people and hunks of debris came crashing down on the medial consoles in the office. Janeway and Chakotay had come down to help Tom and B'Elanna any way they could to try to recover the Doctor but they hadn't bargained on this disaster.
"Well that was a huge mess," complained the Doctor as he stood up from his fall. "Oh my equipment! That's two years of research in there!" But his tirade was stopped by a pair of arms around his neck.
"I thought you were gone for good!" B'Elanna yelled nearly bowling the Doctor over. "I'll help you fix everything. I'm just so glad I didn't delete you! Where did you go?"
"Well that's a long…" The EMH was interrupted by a groan. Mirror Chakotay stood up slowly and gave his Cardassian neck bones a good crack.
"Who hit the button?" he asked as he stood up but his question was only met with stares. He looked around, unsure of what to do until he came eye to eye with his human counterpart. Both were at a loss for word.
"That's another long story," remarked the Doctor. "But who did hit the button?"
A second groan was heard from another corner of the room.
"What a ride," said mirror Kathryn standing up. "Sorry about that but I had to see Chakotay's face lift for myself."
=Λ= =Λ= =Λ=
"Coffee, black," said Captain Janeway to her replicator. "Want some?" she asked, offering the mug to her mirror universe counterpart that sat on the couch in her ready room. After lengthy explanations on the Doctor's part as to what was going on, Janeway had allowed him to help the mirror Chakotay get is rightful face back. In the meantime she'd invited mirror Kathryn to a quieter place to wait. And of course the Captain wanted to get a good look at her.
"I'll try it," mirror Kathryn replied, taking the steaming mug. She warmed her fingers on the heat from the ceramic as she took a sip. "It's good!"
"I thought you'd like it," smiled the Captain knowingly, replicating her own mug and taking a seat on the couch next to her. "The Doctor shouldn't take very long to get your Chakotay back to what he's supposed to look like."
"I'm thankful for that. We… we need to get going. What's the Chakotay on your side like?"
"A good man," answered the Captain. "A strong leader."
"But what about… personally?"
"He's my best friend, as well."
Mirror Kathryn had thought the Captain had shifted a little uncomfortably at that question but perhaps she was projecting her own discomfort onto the situation. Everything was so clean here, and formal. She was afraid to touch anything. Her counterpart was the same and fit in her surroundings perfectly. Kathryn couldn't help but wonder just how much she was like this person and what she herself might be had she had the same circumstances.
"But the two of you were colleagues from the beginning," she replied thoughtfully, almost to herself.
"Actually," said the Captain, "I was sent to arrest him. Then disaster struck and we were forced to work together. I didn't trust him at first, but in the end I'm glad I did. I couldn't keep things together here without him."
Mirror Kathryn mulled that thought over for a good minute. When she looked back to the Captain she was even more confused than before.
"If you don't mind," asked mirror Kathryn, "is there anywhere I might be alone for a moment. I've got some thinking to do before we go back and over there I never get quiet like this."
"Of course," replied the Captain kindly. You can stay in here if you like. If you're hungry, just ask the replicator for whatever you want."
Once Janeway left the room, mirror Kathryn jumped to her feet and went over to the console on the desk. She pulled up schematics for the ship and quickly found the shuttle bay. Too far. Someone might see her. But what if I went here first… All right, Kathryn, it's now or never.
=Λ= =Λ= =Λ=
Chakotay stared at his newly transformed features in the mirror the doctor had given him. His neck seemed so much thinner and it was a relief that it was not continually stiff. He wondered if that would last. He turned his head from side to side and cracked it with some satisfaction.
"Getting used to your new make up?" asked the Doctor, coming into the sick bay.
"I've never been this tan before," remarked Chakotay. "I've been ashy grey for as long as I can remember."
"Your heritage is Native American," replied the Doctor, "in case you were wondering. They generally have a good deal more melanin in their skin to help protect against UV. The Cardassians, who prefer the dark, would have little need of it, hence their paleness. I would suppose you were very young when they switched you over. You may not remember the circumstances under which it happened."
"I have hazy memories, and I've had some night mares," he said thinking about something that had just come to mind, "but I've seen this kind of thing done before. The Cardassians take over a world and steal the children. Then they make them over to bulk up their numbers."
"Well, your new face will be as good a disguise as any if you decide to go back. Do you plan on it?"
"I have to. I need to find my people, if there are any left." Chakotay paused a moment as if he wanted to ask something else but stopped. It was foolish but in the end he had to ask. "Was that my counterpart I saw when I was transported in?"
"It was."
"He had a tattoo on his forehead. I've seen that before. Can you think of any reason why?"
"For our Chakotay, it is a symbol of his tribe," answered the Doctor. "His father wore it to honor the land, and he wears it to honor his father. Perhaps your father had one as well."
"Mayb…" Suddenly a vague memory clarified it in Chakotay's mind. He saw his father's face hovering over him. It was worried. He was telling him to hide. Chakotay lay back on the bio-bed, stricken by the flood gate this one recollection had opened.
It had happened when he was five. His people had been hiding on an outlying planet and kept themselves mostly out of the way of the Cardassians but eventually they'd found them. What happened had made little sense to him at the time but he remembered the explosions and his mother holding on to him while a Cardassian had wrenched him out of her hands. He remembered the look on his father's face when he was shot down—despair as he watched his son being carried away. After that, Chakotay's memories were a blur of pain and dark rooms until what he'd considered his real memories started a few years later in his childhood as a Cardassian. He'd always known he'd been adopted but the parents he remembered had been kind to him. They used to hint that the nasty Terrans were the ones that did away with his real parents but once Chakotay began working in the refineries on Terrok Nor, he wondered at the truth of it.
Chakotay suddenly awoke again to the present at a stinging at his neck.
"I apologize," said the Doctor standing over him, putting down the hypospray. "You were having a fit and didn't seem to know where you were. I gave you a mild sedative."
"I was remembering…"
"I would guess we've inadvertently woken up some repressed memories. That is sometimes a part of post-traumatic-stress-disorder. I can give you a few hypos to take with you if you like but I would recommend you stay here for a bit for treatment."
"I don't think I can do that," he said, sitting up slowly. He picked up the mirror again and ran his fingers over the part of his forehead where the tattoo should have been.
"Would you like me to give you the tattoo?" the Doctor asked. "It is a very simple process."
"No," replied Chakotay, thoughtfully. "I don't want it… yet. I do need the hyposprays though," he said, getting up quickly.
"You're leaving so soon?"
"Of course. We need to get back before our people have to move. Do you know where our Kathryn is? We ought to get going now that I'm done here."
"She was in with our Captain," answered the Doctor. He punched a few buttons on the console to see if she was still there. The Doctor frowned. "Are you sure she's coming back with you?"
"What makes you say that?"
"Well, I overheard her talking to your Tuvok about wanting to escape and right now she's in the transporter room. It seems to me she may need a little encouraging if you want her to stick with your fight. If things in your universe are anything like ours, if Tuvok couldn't convince her, it's going to have to be up to you."
Chakotay thought hard for a moment, then nodded and ran out the door.
=Λ= =Λ= =Λ=
Janeway frantically packed her bag with the food rations she'd just replicated from the transporter room replicator. Her counterpart on this side said she could have what she wanted so why not. It might be awhile before she could find more. She went over to the transporter console and racked her brain trying to remember the training hologram she'd found on the other Janeway's computer. She only needed to get herself to the shuttle bay without any one seeing her and this seemed like the quickest way. They can't blame me for leaving. They'd all do it in my place. I can't go through it all again anyway. To set up a timer for the transport she just needed to…
"Where are you going?" A man's voice startled her.
"To freedom." She looked up to see her side's Chakotay standing in the doorway. He was a man now. His eyes were the same but his face… it was softer. "Can you blame me? That's what we all want, isn't it."
"I can't believe you're leaving now, when everyone needs you the most."
"Needs me? They're all adults. They've gotten this far."
"With your leadership. It's you Kathryn, that keeps that group together. I know they're all adults, but they're still hot headed. You've been through so much more than they have and they need your experience and guidance. Have you been planning this all along?"
"I have and they don't need me. They've got Tuvok."
"They need your heart Kathryn. I can see it in your eyes that you care about them."
"What does that matter?" Janeway spat bitterly. "Even if I did care, I don't feel like sticking around long enough to have it thrown back in my face."
"Why would you think that? They risked everything and gave up a good deal to get us this far. I've watched you, Kathryn, every day for the past six years. You care about everyone. You break up fights and help the tired and sick with their workloads even when you can barely handle your own. It's why I admire you. It's why I…"
"You what?"
"Nothing. But why are you deserting them so quickly?"
"Because I can't handle another heartbreak."
"Heartbreak?"
"It was Annika Hansen." Janeway's anger finally broke and her voice grew quiet and quavering. "I took her in when her parents died in the camps. She was six and no one else wanted to do it. She was so quiet and thin. No one else thought she'd have the strength to make it but I did it anyway. I went hungry and stayed up nights to guard her so she could have a fighting chance. But then when she was sixteen she turned in half our group to avoid a punishment I would have never let her take. I would have endured every last whiplash for her but she fed our people to the enemy. Some of them died in confinement that never would have on the lines. After that she went over to the other side. I couldn't forgive her after that. To this day, I don't even know what she did to get into trouble."
"I know," answered Chakotay quietly.
"What? You do?"
"The night she was caught she was trying to sneak into my quarters. She told me later. She'd fallen in love with me, I can't imagine how, and wanted to tell me. She was punished, Kathryn. They beat the information out of her. She lied to you about it so you wouldn't do anything foolish and she started helping the enemy so that you would hate her. She felt she deserved it for what she did."
"They beat her?"
"Among other things."
"But I saw her…"
"She told them what she intended to do so they healed her face. The rest they left."
Kathryn's hand went to her mouth and it was all she could do to hold in the tears. All this time… But she'd followed them…
"But I saw her spying on us when we were meeting," put in Janeway, not giving up just yet.
"Everything happened so long ago Kathryn. She's reconciled herself to her new life now, even if she isn't happy about it and I think… I think she might be… jealous."
"Jealous! What do you mean? You don't love her back?"
"Kathryn, I…" Chakotay didn't go on but looked down on Janeway with a sad, pleading expression on his face. She was suddenly struck with a new very odd idea. She took a step closer to Chakotay and looked good and hard up into his face. She wished his dark black eyes weren't so pained. It broke her heart. She thought back to when she first got transferred to Terrok Nor six years ago. He'd been in the party that met their group at the airlock and he'd stopped a guard from shoving her around. But he often did that for many of the workers. He was different. He never relished his job like the other Cardassians. Sometimes she almost found herself taking pity on him when she saw him flagging in the heat on his shifts. He seemed to always be there; always be right at her side in case of trouble. He never hurt her or tried to take advantage of her and he'd always called her Kathryn. Somehow, even when he was her enemy, it hadn't bothered her. Just now, when he was looking at her with a man's face, but with the eyes she had always been curious about, and the way he'd said her name… Janeway slowly moved towards him with a sudden need to ease the pain in those eyes. Her lips found his in an unsure kiss.
Chakotay froze at first at the embrace. It was different, almost a trial kiss. Perhaps neither of them had had a real one in a very long time. He wasn't going to let it go, though. It might be the only one she ever gave him. For now, however, for this moment, she was his. He wrapped his arms tightly around her and drew her closer. He wanted her to feel the protection he'd been trying to give her all these years. He needed her to know she was safe with him and to his surprise she snuggled in.
When the kiss ended Janeway laid her head on his chest and was quiet. What had just happened? Who was this man? Suddenly her whole life had been turned upside down. She'd never hoped for love. Not in her situation but she meant something to this man. She thought back to every interaction she could remember and all the times his seeming kindness was completely out of place. Maybe she'd known it all along and pushed it out of her head because she needed to hate him as her enemy. Did she love him? She looked up at him again. No. Not yet. He'd been her foe this entire time but… it felt so good where she was and all together right… In spite of herself, every bone in her body said to give it a try. What if it meant she had to go back? She couldn't find any words for that now. Not quite knowing why, she reached up and ran her fingers over his forehead above his eyebrow.
"No tattoo?"
"I don't feel I deserve it yet," Chakotay answered, pulling her in a little tighter. "I betrayed my people by fighting for the other side, even if I didn't know that's what I was doing. I have to make amends for that. Once I do so, then I'll feel I've earned it."
"So you're going back?"
"I have to."
"Oh." She tried to pull away but he wouldn't let her go just yet.
"Kathryn…"
She relaxed a little but looked away from him. She found it difficult to resist him now, when he said her name in that gentle baritone.
"Kathryn," he went on. "I need you to come back with me. Now that I know my purpose I need your strength. Everyone else needs you too and they care about you too much to betray you. Even Annika didn't willingly betray you. She just wasn't strong enough then. Deep down she hates herself for it and I know she'd come back to our side if you forgave her."
Janeway was quiet while she thought things through. She realized everything she thought she knew had been wrong; everything she'd based her actions on misguided. She thought of Tom and B'Elanna, who stuck together through everything and in spite of the political differences of their families. She thought of Tuvok who, even with his lack of emotion, seemed to care about everyone underneath it all. And Harry, and Naomi, and… Annika. If Annika could really be saved… And now Chakotay, the man, needed her as well.
"Ok," she whispered.
"What?" Chakotay leaned in urgently not believing his ears.
"Ok. I'll come back with you. I can't promise anything, but I'll help anyway I can."
"You will! Kathryn, I…" Chakotay was at a joyful loss for words. He smiled ear to ear. Kathryn giggled a little bit when she saw his grin. It was the first time she'd ever seen Chakotay smile. He had dimples and that's what had made her laugh like a young girl. Janeway stood on her tiptoes to kiss him again. She knew it was frivolous and impulsive but it felt right to kiss and be kissed and be held by him. In spite of everything that was to come, even if it was just once in her life, Kathryn was happy.
=Λ= =Λ= =Λ=
Captain Janeway looked up at mirror universe Chakotay and Kathryn standing on the transporter pad while B'Elanna punched in the coordinates to send them home. It had been a short meeting and she wished she had time to find out more about them but that wasn't to be. And she couldn't help but wonder at the fact that they gripped each other's hand so tightly. After they'd all said their goodbyes and nodded to B'Elanna to start the transport, Chakotay turned to Kathryn.
"You ready?"
She smiled up at him in a devious sort of way, feeling, for once, altogether sure of herself.
"Let's go raise some hell," Kathryn replied, and the two disappeared in a simmer of light.
