A Match Made in Heaven

Prologue

Heaven truly is a beautiful place. Boring, but beautiful. Through all the pure white clouds, the sky was a dazzling blue and the sun shone in a way that took your breath away.

Kenny McCormick, wearing his usual orange parka, landed just inside the pearly white gates with a dull thud.

No one even bothered to look at the teen. This was a rather common occurrence. It happened at least three or four times a week. Everyone had grown used to the blue-eyed blonde years ago.

Kenny didn't pay them any mind either, opting instead to get up on his feet and walk down an all-too-familiar path. He knew where he was going and in no time he got there. He pulled down the hood of his parka and smiled. "Hey, God."

There was a bright flash of light. Afterwards, what looked like a cross between a hippo and an unkempt cat sat before the boy. "Hello my son," the thing stated, long bushy tail twitching.

"Interesting way for me to die this time," Kenny said, grinning widely. "I rather enjoyed it."

"I figured you would." After all, what American male wouldn't love to die in a freak accident getting choked by ladies lingerie? "Besides, it's been a while since you died."

"Yeah, yeah, the good old days when I was ten and horny and died everyday."

"Now you're eightteen and horny."

"Yeah..." Kenny sighed, a dreamy look crossing his face. After a while, he shook his head. "So, am I dead for good this time or am I going back?"

"Do not fret, my son. You're going back," the hippo-cat that was God reassured. "However, this time I have a request of you."

The blonde raised an eyebrow. "Request."

God sighed, looking somewhat agitated for the first time in many, many years. "The girls were a mistake this generation. They're all cock-sucking sluts."

"My compliments to the chef, so to speak," Kenny pretty much purred, blowing a kiss into the air. "Slutty's just the way I like 'em."

"That's fine for you, but what about the other boys in South Park? Many of them want steady relationships. Like Stan Marsh." God moaned, a furry orange-brown paw connecting with his hippo face. "What in My Name was I thinking when I put him with Wendy Testaburger?"

"You weren't?" Kenny offered sheepishly.

"Anyway, I've decided none of these girls deserve any of these boys."

"So, the guys will be alone all their life?"

"Well, not exactly..."

Silence. Eventually Kenny smirked knowingly. "Why God! Isn't homosexuality a sin?"

"Not in this case," God replied defensively. "In this case, it'd be a sin to put them with those awful bitches."

The teen scratched his chin. "And I come into this how?"

"I need you to play matchmaker for me," God explained, procuring a list from thin air. "Pair up all these people for me."

"And what's in this for me?"

"You get to go back and continue whoring around. As an added bonus, I'll prevent you from ever aquiring any and all STD's."

"In other words, consequence free sex?"

"Besides pregnancy, yes."

"Fuck yeah! I'm in!" Kenny yelled, grabbing the list from God's 'hands'. "When do I start?"

"Why, right now of course."

Kenny McCormack vanished as quickly as he had appeared.

OKAY! So this is a writter by the name of NaeKa here on ff. But, Vex sent this to me in an email and never posted it. (rolls her eyes) And she is writting it for me, containing ALL of my favorite couples. CX It should be fabulous.

And, yes, I know all of Vex's passwords. (grins evilly)

xNae'Ka