Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight not me thought I wish I did

Chapter 1- The Marker

Carlisle POV

Once again my screwed up children were fighting.

On what? ... A marker... a red marker!

They claimed it was "blood in a tube". Yea right as if that's possible. I swear sometimes they could be as dumb as Emmett. Well except Emmett, it was predictable for him.

Emmett was holding the marker while everyone fought each other to reach it, except Bella. She was just there as Edward's shield. Yes, a human shield. His theory: no one would hurt Bella so she was his "mass weapon".

Jacob was just there so Edward would lose. Stupid, Ignorant Jacob.

"That's it give me the marker right now... It's not even blood its ink!" I said exasperated, "this is why we never listen to Emmett. You people are so gullible."

"I didn't buy it for a minute," said Edward.

"Right," I said sarcastically.

"You used me as your shield, you idiot!" screamed Bella and then she tripped. On what? The marker!

"Bellie," sang Emmett, "You have anger issues and you're a klutz why do we keep you around again?" he laughed.

"Shut up! Who the hell left the marker here you idiots! She screamed ... again, "And apparently you keep me around because I make a good shield!" She glared at Edward.

Poor Bella, her and all those awful issues, she really needs to calm down. I'm surprised Edward's not defending her... Nope no defending there.

"Hey I'm not gonna lie you do make a good shield." Edward alleged.

This family really is crazy... Hmm maybe it would help if they all went to...

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!" yelled Edward cutting me off.

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!" yelled Alice. Wow this is getting annoying. I should have blocked my thoughts from these people I call "my children".

"Alright will someone please tell me what's going on I'm so tired of private conversations," said Rosalie.

"Everybody, we are all, that means you to Bella and Jacob, going to therapy," I announced.

Muahah...haha...ha...ha

Teaches them to piss me off!

"Not funny Carlisle," Edward said rolling his eyes.

"Oh but it is, Muahahahahahahaha...ha," I said grinning evilly.