Disclaimer- I do not own Divergent.
Part One:
Andrew buried his face in his hands. There were no tears in his eyes, but I knew that he was mourning the loss of our children: Caleb, now a part of Erudite, and Beatrice, one of the Dauntless. He probably never saw this coming; didn't understand the wistfulness in their thin faces that pointed towards a different future than the one he had planned. In short, he was being selfish.
I walked over to the bed, and lightly touched his shoulder, "They are going to be alright, dear. You'll see- when we visit them on parent's day. You'll realize that they are where they belong."
"I won't be going!" he snapped, like a statue coming to life underneath my fingers. "After what they did- I don't know how Marcus stands it-"
"It is not for us to judge Tobias," I reminded him, the corners of my mouth turned down, slightly. "We have a duty to care for the homeless, the weak, and the destitute. We provide honest leadership in government, and donate all our time and effort to making the city a better place, but- our first priority always has to be the welfare of the children.
The ones that leave do not do so to spite us; they are going after their own happiness. As parents, we must think of them, and only them, and be grateful they have finally achieved what they want out of life."
The old clock on the mantle counted out the seconds. Andrew looked at me- not as his wife, in her grey clothes, blonde hair tied up in a respectful bun, but as he saw me first, at sixteen. I was the only transfer from Dauntless in the middle of our cloud of initiates, the corner of a tattoo just peaking out the end of my pants leg. I remember how he smiled at me, uneasily, than left for the front of the line.
Now, for the second time, he turned his back on me. Andrew crawled underneath the covers, his dark hair contrasting sharply with the pillow. "Enough talk," he said, shortly. "I'm tired."
The small space was soon filled with his angry breathing, and I realized I was not in a fair state of mind either. I pounded up the stairs, my footsteps heavy, to pause at the landing between the two rooms.
Caleb's door did not open the entire way; I figured out that there was a stack of books between it and the wall. The shelves were lined with scientific journals, and a small microscope sat on the desk with the note: "To: The brightest student I have seen in many years, From: Professor Langmore." His framed report card rested on the bed-side table, alongside a picture of the family.
On impulse, I fell to my knees and rifled through his waste-paper basket. "Dear Mother, Father, and Sister, I know it will take some time for you to come to grips with my decision…
Every other day of my life, I have thought about someone else, but I cannot do that any longer…
I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for this terrible injustice I have done to you…." I folded the unfinished letter into one of the books I saw lying around, and tucking it under my arm, ventured across the hallway.
Beatrice's room was much more traditional, but I knew it was because she kept her secrets locked up in her head. No place was safe to be Divergent, especially among my old faction, but she was a fighter and I had faith- she'd make it through initiation undetected. Still, I wished I had something to remind me of the brave girl that she was.
I didn't want to go back to my husband yet. Instead, I traced the unpainted windowsill. The moon was hazy above the reach of the streetlamps, but I could feel it watching me, patiently, for the first sob to rock my willowy frame. I rained on the plants climbing their way up the sides of the house. My heart pounded fiercely against my ribcage, almost as if it could escape my body.
Andrew was a good man, I reminded myself. I loved him in all his moods, from generous to stubborn, but I only wished that he was there to comfort me now. I'd been called many things during my life- all in an attempt to define who I was. How did he not realize that the one title I wanted was the one I feared I would never hear again? Mother.
Author's Notes (again)- This is my first time writing a Divergent fanfic. If people like this one, I have several other ideas in the wings, but it all depends on your feedback. Please review- it makes a difference.
