Hello guys,

this story was stuck in my had for quite a while and now I decided to write it down. The story is set after 2x08 and will go from there on. I hope you like it.

Clarke's POV

I killed him. I killed one of my people and that's gonna hunt me all my life. But I had to do it. I knew I had to do it. It had to be me and nobody else. If Lincon was right, he was gonna suffer and I just...I couldn't let that happen. Even though it passed like a week since that night, I can still hear his voice thanking me. The whole camp hated me, well except my mom (of course). I didn't spoke to anyone since that day. I don't even know how to explain why I did what I did... I just did it. I could feel tears running down my cheeks when I heard someone enter my tent. I quickly wiped them away and stand up.

''I tought I told you that I want to be alone mom.'' I said, but it wasn't my mom...It was Raven...''Ouuu... Hi Raven'' I said and she glared at me. ''Don't you hi me! Why Clarke why did you do it! You promised my you would protect him, you told me he will be ok...Why did you kill him?'' she said and I didn't know how to answer. ''I asked them to let him go... I offered my life for his...I told them that I killed 300 of their people and that I didn't regret it. I told them that I watched one of their people bleed to death and I didn't do nothing to stop it... but they didn't want to trade him... I asked them if I could say goodby to him and if I wouldn't kill him he would suffer the death of 18 people. They would cut his arms of, cut his tong out, take his eyes!'' I didn't even noticed that I was shouting until I heard whispers from outside. ''So what do you want me to do Raven?! I can't take it back and even if I could I would decide to do the same thing. He didn't deserve it! I know that very well... But I would rather see that he died by my hand than by a hand of a grounder! So if you wanna hate my till death, that's ok. I don't care!'' I said with tears coming down my cheeks. I did care.. She was one of my two bff that I didn't talk for a really long time. ''Clarke...I..'' she said but she was interrupted by my mom. ''Clarke we need to talk.'' she said and well even if I wasn't in the mood. She's my mom so ... '' Yeah what do you want?'' I said and she grabbed my hand and dragged me outside.

I saw all those people looking at me and I felt bed for them. '' So will you please tell me what do you want?'' I asked her and she just dragged me behind her, until we stopped in front of a group of my friends , or ex friends... I don't even know how they fell about me any more. ''You need to talk to people and since I clearly don't know you any more I decided to let you talk to your friends.'' she said and I didn't know what to do. I had two options, make a run for it or talk to them. I was ready to run, when to big arms hugged me from behind. I felt safe... Bellamy. I let myself fall on my knees and he didn't let go. I started crying again. ''Everything is going to be ok princess.'' he said ''Come with me, let go somewhere private. '' he said and we went outside the camp.

We stopped on a clif. ''Everybod hates me.'' I said as we sat down. He was sitting right beside me. ''That's not true. They just don't know how to react. You are brave. You did something that nobody else had guts to do.'' he said and I smiled. ''Did (my) princess just smiled?'' he asked and I punched him in the arm. ''I missed you.'' he said. If he only knew how much that meant to me. ''I missed you too.'' I said but just before I was about to say something I was interrupted by ... well my mom. ''There you guys are. I was worried.'' she said. I stood up as I heard her voice. ''We're alive.'' I said and smiled. I stared at my mom and then we heard a crack behind us.

Grounders. Well two of them and they were pretty big. ''We are here for you.'' said one of them and look at me. ''You killed 300 of our people and our new leader Sandra want's you dead.'' he said and I know I should be afraid but I wasn't. ''What happened to your previous leader?'' I asked and he glared at me like I discussed him. ''She's dead, because she was to merciful.'' he said and turned to the other guy and said something in their language. It didn't take me long to realise that they were going to kill me now.

They both took out their knifes and came closer to me. Something inside me turned of my emotions and the second one of them wanted to stab me I ripped the knife from his hands and pushed him so hard that he fell on the floor. ''My fight isn't over yet, but yours is.'' I said and slit his troat. He tried to scream, but I put my hand to his mouth and watch him bleed. The other grounder took the opportunity and tried to stab me in the back, but I was to quick and I jumped on him and twisted his head.

It took me a second to realise what I just did. I look at my mom that was shaking in disbelieve. Bellamy pulled me up to my feet and hugged me. ''It's ok. it's gonna be ok.'' I wasn't sure if he was talking to me or to himself. ''Let's go back to camp and get you cleaned up.'' he said and I just nodded

The walk back was quiet and I was worried about my mom. I could only imagine what was she thinking. When we got back, nobody asked questions about what happened. Bellamy led me to my tent and we waited there for my mom. He hugged me and I leaned in to him. ''It's gonna be ok.'' he said just before my mom entered my tent. She didn't say anything, she just started cleaning me. ''Mom...'' I said but she interrupted me. ''Bellamy, would you please step outside, so that I can talk to my daughter.'' she said and Bellamy did as she said. ''I'll be outside if you'll need me.'' he said just before he exited my tent and suddenly I didn't feel safe anymore.

''I don't want you to hang out with him anymore. It's best for you to just stay away from him.'' said my mom and It took me a minute to process what she just said. ''But mom...'' I started but she didn't let me finnish ''He is a criminal. He has a bad influence on you.'' she said and I felt tears gathering in my eyes, wich my mom saw. ''He's not a criminal. He came down here to protect his sister. Plus all of my friends were locked up.'' I said and she just stared at me. ''I forbid you to talk to him or to even look at him unless I'm present.'' she said ''You'll stay away from him. He's the reason you act like this. I saw you in the woods, you are not that person.'' she said. ''No!'' I said. ''Excuse me?'' she asked and I just smiled. '' You heard me. No! I 'll not stay away from him, because it's not his fault I killed all those people, it's mine so if you want to punish me fine! But he is my friend...my best friend...'' I said and she stepped away from me. ''You like him.'' she said and I froze. ''Yes I care about him, he saved my life, he's my co-leader, how could I possibly not care about him.'' I said and she just glared at me. ''Like I said. You are not allowed to talk to him or be near him. Is that clear?'' she said and I couldn't hold back my tears. ''I 'll do what ever it takes to get my Clarke back. even if that means that I had to banish that boy.'' she said and I couldn't believe that she just said that.

Right before she left she said. ''Stay away from him or I'll banish him.'', but how could I possibly stay away from somebody I love.

The end. (of the 1 chapter)

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Tll next time.