Repeat
Showing off, Sannin style.
A/N: I do not own Naruto, of course. I've tried to portray the three as lovable geezers who are never old at heart, always competitive, and always fooling around. As this is a dialogue fic, the following will be applied throughout up to the end of the story –
Orochimaru: italics coz he's skewed and sly like that
Jiraiya: underline coz he's all about making big impressions of himself
Tsunade: bold coz she's a strong woman taking charge
*POOF!/CRACK!/THUD!/BOOM!/BAM!/CRUNCH!: I'm sure you can figure it out, depending on the circumstances delivered below but POOF! is definitely the sound of Orochimaru's disappearance.
**Also, if the styles (italics, underline, bold) overlap, it means they are speaking simultaneously, the same words.
I hope you enjoy the randomness my mind conjured up.
.
.
.
"Observe the flawlessss technique of my taijutssssu!" Orochimaru hissed with malicious delight.
"Oh, I can do this! Behold the power of Jiraiya-sama!" Jiraiya yelped with a triumphant leap.
"I'll blow this up! Look!" Tsunade bellowed with a fist fiercely clenched.
And on and on they went..
.
.
"I can summon huge ass amphibians!" Jiraiya proudly pronounced.
"I've got Manda!"
"I've got Katsui!"
"I've got Bunta!"
"You've had your turn already by saying you have an amphibian summon!" Tsunade complained.
"Although it does sssurprise me that you know that word," sneered Orochimaru.
Choosing to ignore the snub, Jiraiya turned to Tsunade instead, "Well, I didn't get to introduce him by his name."
"True," acquiesced Tsunade with a nod.
"…"
"I have a trick to looking youthful!" This statement was shrieked out by Tsunade and Orochimaru wanting to one up the other.
Not wanting to be left out, Jiraiya joined in the fray, "I have a protégé!"
"Naruto!" He portentously called out the name of his disciple.
"Baka like you," scoffed Tsunade.
"He will be a hero! An esteemed Hokage! Like I've destined him to be!" Jiraiya proclaimed with a puffed out chest.
"Esteemed, my ass." Tsunade scorned while rolling her eyes.
Smirking, Orochimaru supplemented, "Ssasuke-kun is better."
"That traitor," Tsunade criticized angrily at the mention of the Uchiha before her eyes widened in realisation, "Hey, wait a moment! He only ran off because you pulled him out!"
"Yesss indeed. He's just like me. He saw the futility of remaining in a poor village for power and turned to me. And once he's all ripe and gr- I mean, once he's all grown to my liking I shall possess his body. We shall become one. In this way, I will be forever youthful and beautiful," spoke a starry-eyed Orochimaru.
Confused at the level of openness Orochimaru seemed to express, Jiraiya began to retort, "This isn't some kind of grow-my-own-supply-of-bodies-so-I-can-be-immort- OH," he'd understood, "It is. For you, isn't it. Creepy as always, eh?"
Tsunade edged away, "Sicko."
Orochimaru leered at them, waggling his eyebrows, "Do not judge until you've tried it, old friend."
"I don't need to kidnap children from hidden villages to stock pile up for my youth," spat back Tsunade.
Orochimaru huffed, "You're the Hokage and all that paperwork you detessst will make you die fasster. I'll be plenty alive after either of you die."
"You're just bitter you didn't get to become Hokage of the Leaf Village."
"You sly snake, Orochimaru, you! That's why you wanted to be Hokage! You wanted to pick out the children from the large batch we have every year fresh at the academy!"
"…"
"You didn't think of that, did you? Not until you left and started up the whole Sound business, anyway." Tsunade noted with sharp eyes.
"Orochimaru?"
"Until we meet again, friendssss."
POOF!
Coughing at the smoke he left behind Tsunade choked out, "Why do I have a feeling he's run off just now only to go back to the 'village' he took over to build a special academy?"
"Don't worry, he already has Sasuke at his disposal. I'm sure he's not that greedy."
"Like that's any consolation."
"Ah Tsunade, it's just two of us left again. Alone. After all that verbal sparring, I'm worn out. Wanna get some sake?"
"..."
"Let's hook up."
CRACK!
"Perv! If we hear of any strange movements from Sound about an academy for the gifted you know it's ALL YOUR DAMNED FAULT!"
.
.
.
A/N: Part one complete. I hope that at the very least it made you smile at the silliness of it all. It's rated T only for the mild 'language' and 'suggestive content' that will occur as they banter. Reviews are awesome.
Cheers,
Revenquill.
