"Itaaa! That really hurt Urahara!"
"Yare yare, Yoko-chan!" The blonde man grinned, fanning himself.
"You know," I started, rubbing my forehead, "If I didn't know you better, I would think you liked making my life a living hell."
The man just giggled, "Good thing you know me better!"
I rolled my eyes and lifted myself into a seated position, hand still rubbing my abused forehead. This man really was something else, randomly showing up with his little pose, fighting off "Hollows" as he liked to call them. I preferred Beasts, Demons and sometimes Debbie Downers; they could really dampen anyone's mood. After a few more minutes of allowing myself to wallow in self pity for ever meeting Urahara I pushed myself up and brushed the dirt off my skirt.
"Aa! Need help my little Yoko-chan!" Urahara asked slyly, aiming his flat palm at my backside.
"I'm fine." I said, easily side-stepping his blatant attack.
Urahara's face seemed to fall for a minute but it didn't take him long to be all smiles again. I wondered off-handedly if he was ADHD, it surely would explain a lot more.
"Anyway, I'm off. I'm late as it is, Ochi-sensei is going to be mad." I muttered.
"Well have fun my little Yoko-chan!" Urahara waved.
I snorted but waved back anyway, "Thanks Ururu-chan, Jinta-kun, Tessai-san!"
I could hear Urahara's shouts of "What about me!" but ignored him. Served him right for jabbing me in the forehead with his fan. I would have moved eventually, there really was no need to be so harsh. Damn that man, it was (without a doubt in my mind) going to bruise. I kept up my brisk walk to Karakura High but my mind was distracted back to when I had first met my self proclaimed "saviors".
"Really Tatsuki, I'll be fine. It's not that late anyway and you've been training me for the last few weeks. I can handle myself against some scumbag." I said.
She snorted, "I'm not worried about just "some scumbag" Yoko."
I crossed my arms over my chest and we kept leveled stares. I was going to win this time! No backing down! Even if Tatsuki's stares were rather intimidating...
"Fine." Huh? Had I won that easily?
"Really, I just won?" I asked, a grin splitting itself across my face.
"Yeah, sure, you win Yoko. But if something happens, call me?" She mumbled, looking away.
"Okay!" I said, pulling the other girl into a hug and swung the door of the dojo open.
"I'll see you tomorrow at school!" I said, turning and jogging away.
"Be careful Yoko!" Tatsuki hollered behind me.
I waved, slowing my jog to a causal walk. The night air was lovely and cool, I could even see the stars shining brightly. It was so nice, so calming, so relaxing. I shifted my book-bag on my back better and listened to the quiet sound of my sneakers hitting the pavement.
"This is the life." I said to no one in particular, it just seemed like the right thing to say.
"Who are you talking to girl?" A deep voice rasped.
I froze in my steps, hand inching towards the phone in my pocket before I realized how foolish that was. This man wouldn't harm me. I couldn't see the him but clearly he was curious. I suppose I couldn't blame him, I would be too if someone randomly spoke to themselves. I turned around, feeling a bit more positive and mentally chuckled at my own stupidity.
"I was-" But my words stuck in my throat.
I hated being wrong, I just hated it. Like that time I was wrong about Orihime being a wonderful cook and had to suffer through countless dinners for it. Or that time that I thought the milk hadn't expired and it dripped in gross clumps on my cereal. Or that other time where I thought kissing a frog would make him a Prince. Yeah that one had been pretty bad. But I was starting to think that this had to be the worst.
"I said 'Who are you talking to girl?'." The monster wheezed.
I almost wanted to point at myself and ask, "Who me?" but didn't think this thing would share in my humor. This 'thing', whatever it was, clearly wasn't a curious and harmless man. It stood a good few feet taller than myself and had long, lanky looking arms. Its body was a deep red color, which I supposed was a nice color until I thought of blood, and a white mask type thing over its face. Its eyes were glowing red specks in a sea of empty black and the mask pulled up in a wicked grin, teeth fully on display. I wondered briefly who his dentist was.
"Ahhh, I was, um, talking to myself." I answered.
"So you can see me." Clearly he was happy about that.
"Well that's a stupid thing to say." I mumbled under my breath, I mean clearly I could if I had stopped to answer his question.
"Mmm, you smell sooo good!" The beast rumbled and I fought the urge to puke.
"Are you some kind of pervy demon!" I yelled, scowling.
"You dare to insult me? Human girl." The thing drawled.
I guess it had a point, that was pretty stupid. I wasn't going to be much help to myself if I didn't keep it together. Really, what was I thinking?
"Prepare to die, Human girl!" It shrieked and I did just that. But please, not without some sort of effort into saving my life.
I turned on my heel and ran and ran and when I really just couldn't think of anything else, I ran some more. A stitch in my side began to form and I winced, clearly Tatsuki had been right when she said I needed to keep up with the running. I figured a 10 minute jog around my block was doing the trick, obviously not. I stored that bit of information away, just incase I escaped from this raving looney and lived. What else had Tatsuki told me?
"You really shouldn't encourage Orihime's cooking Yoko, you're going to make yourself sick."
Well that was useful. I was about to die, could hear the heavy feet pounding the ground behind me and all I could think about was Orihime's cooking and Tatsuki's hatred for it. Poor Orihime. If I died she was going to be stuck with no one to eat her food ever again. Maybe everyone would think it was her cooking that finally had gotten to me?
"Remember, sometimes, if running isn't working, stand up to the attacker. Freaks them out a bit."
Maybe that could work. I dug my heels in the ground and twirled around just in time for the beast to fly straight over me and into a building. I blinked a few times and watched as it picked itself up from the rubble. My eyes glanced around the streets but I didn't see anything. I knew it was late by now but seriously? No one heard that?
"You die." The beast mumbled and I raised my hand out in a stop like motion went it came closer.
"Uh-uh! You stay back now! I know kung-fu!" Alright, that was lame, I admit it but it was the only thing that came to mind.
The thing didn't stop though, it probably thought that was a lame threat too, and continued its path of destruction with myself being the destination. In most dire situations I had imagined myself in I figured I would be able to handle it or at the very least Tatsuki or the Police but this was one I had never really planned for. How does one fight against the Devil? I almost chuckled, I had always imagined him as a tall, manly, red thing with horns and a tail. This was pretty disappointing, though I had nailed down the red bit.
As the beast crouched and made to spring a glimmer of something small and shiny came into the picture. It struck the beast over the head and the thing just disappeared in a puff of smoke. Okay, not really, but that would have been kind of cool. Instead it screamed in pain and blood began pouring from its cracked mask. It turned to its attacker and albeit, the person who just saved my ass and growled.
"Shinigami!" It howled and now I was really confused.
Shinigami? A death god? Wasn't that thing a death god? It looked closer to the death gods in Death Note than the man figure standing to the side of it. But hey, beggars can't be choosers right? I'd say this 'Shinigami' was on my side for the moment. Unless it wasn't. That would royally suck. Escape one demon to face the next.
"You Hollow's are really becoming a problem around here." No cool line? I could have done better than that...
"Uh-uh! You stay back now! I know kung-fu!"
Or not...
"Shinigami! You die!" And before I could see anything happen that shiny thing was back (which turned out to be a sword by the way) and the beast did die in a puff of smoke. It wasn't nearly as cool as I thought it was going to be.
"Are you alright?"
I screamed.
What? I couldn't help it, the deep voice came from right behind me. I spun around and came face to face with a Giant with glasses. Next to him stood his munchkin minions. I took a step back and hit a wall. A warm, rumpled wall. That happened to be breathing.
"Are you okay...?"
"Yoko. Yuudai, Yoko..." I was a genius when it came to self preservation as anyone can see.
I was just attacked by a 'Hollow' and now I was introducing myself to the Death God and his friends. A Death God, just incase that little fact had escaped someones mind.
"Are you alright, Yuudai-san?" The Giant asked again.
I stayed quiet.
"Are you retarded?" I glared down at the red haired munchkin, he was going to die.
"Why you little!" But a hand rested on my should and kept me back, the hand of the Shinigami, I gulped.
"It looks like my little Yoko-chan is just fine!" His voice was too cheery, how was he a Shinigami? Shouldn't they be emo or something?
And then it happened, a firm grab and a firmer squeeze. My face turned as red as the little munchkins hair and I let out a shriek that could wake the dead. (Not that I wanted too, I hoped that Hallows stayed dead).
"Did you just grab my ass?"
"Yuudai-san... Yuudai-san... Yuudai-san!" I glanced upwards and realized I was face to face with Ochi-sensei.
"Ayaa!" The woman looked down at me hotly. (Not that kind of hotly, the kind where she looked ready to kill.)
"Yuudai-san! If you would please refrain from daydreaming in class. You were already late today." Ochi-sensei said.
"Sorry." When had I even gotten to class? Maybe I had ADHD and Urahara didn't? Nah, he totally did.
The lunch bell chimed and I could safely say I was "Saved by the Bell". Orihime's boobs were the first thing that came into my line of vision, followed by her happy face. Tatsuki was third.
"Come on Yoko-chan! It's lunch time! I brought enough for you!" She beamed.
I stretched and got up from my seat, smiling widely.
"Aw, you shouldn't have Ori-chan!" I felt bad for actually meaning it then remembered yesterdays lunch was Soba with some kind of questionable bean sauce and boiled eggplant.
Orihime had a very creative cooking style.
"But I had to, Yoko-chan! You always seem willing to eat my food and I enjoy making it!" She grinned as we made our way to the roof to eat.
"I suppose so, but I actually cooked dinner last night. I brought the leftovers, tomorrow perhaps?" I asked making it sound like if she didn't I would be hurt.
They should give me an oscar.
"Okay!" Yeah, a big one. Bigger than the others.
Eventually we sat in our usual circle, with the usual chatter. Chizuru kept making passes at Orihime, who stayed oblivious as normal and Tatsuki yelled at her to shut up. Michiru sat shyly, listening to the whole ruckus as she always did and Ryo continued to tune everyone out. I just watched, it was what I liked to do. Just watch.
"Ne, ne. What about you Yoko-chan?" Chizuru asked, inching herself closer.
"Mm, What about me?" The girl didn't seem to deflate one bit, maybe her and Urahara were related?
"Would you like to come to mine this weekend? My parents are out and we could have the whole place all to ourselves..." She trailed off and waggled her eyebrows.
Before I could respond my, faithful as ever, Tatsuki came to the rescue and punched Chizuru across the back of her head. The girl winced and glared at Tatsuki.
"Stop hitting on my friends!"
"Hey! Yoko! Would you like to walk home with Orihime and I?" Tatsuki shouted.
"I'm not heading home just yet, but thank you! Get home safe!" I shouted back, sending a wave.
Orihime waved, jumping in place and I could imagine if Chizuru had been here, she would have died happily. Tatsuki just threw her hand up, in a casual "I'm-too-cool-for-waving" style and they headed off. I smiled at my friends and continued on my way. The grocery store that I frequented was on the other side of town from the direction of my apartment but it couldn't be helped. They were the only ones supplying fresh strawberry pastries on a daily basis. The things a girl did for food.
I left the store just as quickly as I had entered it, munching happily on my treat. My mind drifted off and I casually thought of Ichigo. That boy had been missing a lot of school these recent days and so had that Rukia girl. Which again had the gears in my head turning. Maybe there were planning to run away together and elope? I blinked. Had I really just said the word 'elope'? How uncool was that.
"Ahhh! Yoko-chaaaaan! So nice of you to stop by!" Stupid Urahara.
"I'm not stopping by! It just so happens my apartment building is across your shop! You know that!" Stupid, stupid Urahara.
"So it seems." He said, trying to sound mysterious.
His fan fluttered in front of his face. Did he realize that made him seem girly? Probably.
"It's good to see you made it home without incident." Was that a low jab at what happened this morning? It wasn't my fault I froze up, it was hard getting used to seeing Hollows and dead people frequently. I wasn't Haley Joel Osment, this shit was freaky.
"It's not my fault, Urahara. Leave me be."
"My, my! Touchy! I'm just happy my little Yoko-chan is safe!" Stupid, stupid, stupid Urahara.
"I'm not being touchy!" I shouted, stomping away, "And I'm not yours!"
Okay, so maybe I was being a little touchy.
"Ahh, this nice hot bath is just what I needed." I sighed, sinking deeper into the warm water.
My muscles relaxed and my mind did too. It was officially no thinking time. I was in this bath to enjoy it! No Urahara! No Hollows! No Souls! No nothing! Just a girl relaxing in her bathtub, sipping on apple juice... What? I'm not old enough to drink, apple juice is just as good! I sighed again.
"When I die, I'm going to find the man who invented the bathtub and marry him. Unless it's a girl. Probably. Girls are smart like that."
"Talking to yourself is the first signs of insanity."
I screamed. Really, when were people going to learn not to sneak up on me? Especially when I'm in a bathtub, speaking of which...
"GET OUT YOU OLD PERVERTED BASTARD!"
"Yare, yare Yoko-chan, It's not like I have never seen a naked woman before." Urahara giggled.
"That's not the point! Get out!" Why hadn't I made this a bubble bath?
"Okay, calm down, I'll be in your living room." I hated that he could seem so calm sometimes.
When he finally left and I was 100% certain that the door was closed fully I hopped out of the tub, draining the water as I went (such a waste) and pulled on my pajamas. I towel dried my hair for a few seconds before realizing there wasn't much a point with it only being Urahara and all and marched out of the bathroom ready to give him a piece of my mind and froze.
Was that like my thing? To freeze when I was surprised? I sure was going to get into a lot more trouble with my self proclaimed "power".
"You'll catch flies like that, Yoko-chan." Urahara chastised.
My bottom jaw met my top in an audible clink. It hurt, so I rubbed it awkwardly.
"Yoko? You can see me?"
Well this was certainly news. Since when had this happened? I guess it explained why he was always missing school. And her too, she now had an excuse. Apparently my "eloped" idea was really off. That's good. At least I wouldn't have to say the word aloud now and sound uncool. Can't ruin my reputation for nothing. They were all staring at me. Man, maybe I should pack up and move already? It looked like a win-win to me. Saved reputation, no souls, no Urahara, no Hollows, no Shinigami, no surprises. Most importantly no surprises.
"Yeah, I can see you Ichigo. So your a Shinigami, huh?" Looking back on it, I should have thought up a cooler line.