A/N: Well, had this idea for a while. And since it was my birthday on the 19th, I thought I'd write a little something :)
Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi in any shape or form. The song used is called "Damn Girl" by The All-American Rejects. Again, I do not own the lyrics, music, band or any affiliates in any way.
Damn Girl, dry your eyes. You stole my heart and then you kicked it aside.
It was so easy to blame the world for your problems. The quick fix, a solution to everything. Instant gratification; misery disappears in the blink of an eye. Blame it all on them. Let them deal with it.
The hardest part? Finding a way to make it their problem; because when you royally screw up to the point of no return, it's a bitch to get yourself out of the spotlight.
Eli Goldsworthy tossed a tennis ball into the air, rhythmically catching it as he stared straight ahead, his radio blaring incoherent lyrics and his mind wandering to every distant corner of his conscious.
Why does she look so miserable in the school hallways? Why does she look so happy? Is she happy on the outside, miserable inside? Or is she trying to mess with his head? Is she pretending to be angry? Is she trying to make him jealous?
If that's her master plan, it's working. And what is he supposed to do anyways?
Fuck this thing they call love. The butterflies last seconds. The pain lasts days, months, even years. Is it even worth it?
No matter how hard he tried, he simply couldn't decipher her spontaneous reactions and complex emotions. Whatever game she was playing with his head, she was winning by a long shot. Dammit, she always has her way.
Eli Goldsworthy…is not the type to give up what is his so easily. She can dance around his heels with some pretty boy lumberjack with a pick up truck and a scent of wood and musk but it ends here. She had her fun. Now… it was his turn.
He chucked the tennis ball across his room and grabbed his wallet, chuckling at how he had probably put a hole through his closet door. It's okay. He'll cover up the hole with a picture of her. At his side. As she held him close, gazed into his eyes and had no other man on her mind.
He quickly paid the taxi fare and bolted out of the back seat, slamming the door with such a fury, he could have shattered the car's windows. He took long strides towards her house, rehearsing words in his mind he would gallantly sputter when she would open her door and imagining how she would melt into his arms at the sight of his piercing green orbs. He formed a fist and boldly raised it to the door, prepared to rap onto the cheap painted wood when he suddenly gazed into her living room window.
There she was. A moving painting of majesty and Victorian beauty. Her smile gleamed like diamonds and her bouncing curls reflected maple bark. She playfully poked a gentleman sitting by her side before taking a sip from her glass.
It was the perfect scene. Two couples, long time friends, visiting each other and dragging their kids along to the affair. Yet, instead of dreading the moment, their teenage children welcome the moment with open arms.
And then… a spark. Wouldn't it be lovely if their children fell in love? The perfect setting.
And there is no room in this picture for Eli.
He slowly lowered his fist, exhaling deeply as he watched them laugh and exchange witty banter, the way they used to laugh, the way they used to talk for hours and spend entire nights on the phone, uselessly pursuing the conclusion of endless conversations. They laughed and indulged in each other's joy and presence, grateful for everything they had and unfazed by past events.
She seemed genuinely…happy.
Perhaps it wasn't an act… maybe she did move on.
Maybe he just wasn't able to let go. Not yet.
He continued to gaze at the scene, relaxing his fist and feeling every wince of pain that pulsated from his slowly shattering heart. He may be the better man; this lumberjack boy may be exactly the kind of boy she was looking for. Normal, sweet, boring and adored by the parents. A true gentleman.
But she is a fool to think that this new boy will ever be able to love her as much as Eli Goldsworthy.
DID YOU ERASE ME FROM YOUR MEMORY? DID YOU EVER LOVE ME AT ALL?
He loved her all along.
No, girl, you can't see, when he's inside you know there's no room for me
And I used to think that I was all you would need