Author's Note: This is the first story to be written that does not relate to any form of poetry, therefore it will probably be worse than anything to have been written so far….although it is prayed that it will be better than nothing, at the least.
Warning: The characters are all out of character, especially Ryuuzaki, Sakuno. Apologizes are given beforehand for the way the characters are portrayed in this story. In addition, to avoid confusion if any is created, the story is mostly told through the memories of the main character, and the beginning is mostly memories; the ending takes place during the present time.
Disclaimer: The characters from Tenisu no Ojou-sama belong to their respectful creators and owners, as does the song, "Dakishimete Shimai Sou Sa" sung by Okiayu, Ryōtarō, Tezuka, Kunimitsu's seiyuu.
Second Author's Note: Breaks One, Three, Five, Seven, Nine, Eleven, and Thirteen are set in the present time, the other breaks–Breaks Two, four, Six, Eight, Ten, and Twelve–are set in the past and a collection of memories.
Dakishimete Shimai Sou Sa
"I'm so pathetic. I let this all go too far, I betrayed their trust, I lied to them about everything…" A suppressed sob passed trembling lips and trembling fingers cupped a slender face, hiding the tracks of tears that painted her skin. "I lied to Sobo-san…I lied to my sempai…I hate myself…" Shoulders shook and hiccups here and there interrupted the young woman's words, her breathing coming in loud gasps as she tried to catch her breathing after her sprint while also trying to stifle her sobs.
"But, worst of all, I lied to him…the one man who captured my heart…the one who made it flutter in excitement at the mere mention of his name, and caused me to revert to my old self whenever I heard him speak, or when he glanced at me." She laughed a bitter laugh, and hugged herself, drowning in her self-loathing. "I lied to him, I was able to lie to the one man I love, I must be the lowliest being in existence…I do not want to see them, I do not want to feel their scorn or feel their accusing gazes…I just want to disappear forever. I wish I had never been born into this world, or had even met them, maybe then they would not have suffered from my lies and they would be leading happy lives. I do not deserve to live…" She sobbed harder, her heart clenching at every one of her words, until it felt like she was stabbing her heart with knives. She lowered her gaze to her trembling fingers that she had lowered from her face and now clutched at her shirt where her heart laid, her tears increasing in number as she curled into herself.
Her sobs only increased in number as memory after memory played out in her mind, adding to the painful clenching of her heart as she lay on her side, whimpering every now and then at a painful memory, that stood as a testament to her lies.
She had had two years to gain his attention, yet in those two years, where her devotion and love for him grew, he became more unattainable. He became more popular with the females, more than before, that he now had a crowd of girls following him everywhere he went, although he would always escape them one way or the other. He grew taller, so that now he stood at the same height as a few of his sempai, and although he had grown and his features became more prominent and sharper, he was still called O'chibi by Eiji Kikumaru and he was still viewed by others as the cocky brat from before. While he had changed in those two years, she had remained the same.
She was still timid and meek, blushing at any mention of his name, although her blushes were lighter in color, and she would still stutter at times when speaking with him. Her hair was still long, longer than before, as it now reached her calves instead of her waist, although compared to before she was taller, but much shorter than he was. Her hair was still the same shade of brown that looked red in the sun; however, now it was wavy instead of straight. She out grew her braids half way through her second year at Seishun Gakuen, after the countless times people mistook her for an elementary student, and after that she had had enough and let her hair lose, hoping that he would notice, but even then all he had said to her was that she need to cut her hair. She had been saddened yet she smiled at him, masking her disappointment and her pain, nodding her head in the negative as a response and dismissing herself from his company and walking away her back to him.
He was handsome, and she was plain, he had coordination and she lacked it, he was wonderful at tennis, and although she had finally managed to play, her timid nature prevented her from trying out for the female tennis team, fearing her ultimate failure. She still cheered on the Seigaku Tennis team, although all of the familiar regulars she had known from her freshman year had graduated a year or two ago from Seishun Gakuen, now leaving him as the buchou of the team, whom he handled well and managed to bring to the Nationals, winning victories every time.
She would always attend the games, and although she no longer joined Tomoka Osakada in her cheerleader routine, she would cheer for them silently in her heart, hoping for their victories. While he had attained more friendships, she had lost hers, Tomoka had sealed their friendship and then thrown it away, the moment they completed their second year at Seigaku. Tomoka had become angered with her when Ryoma ignored her attempts at catching his heart. She had blamed her, telling her she was in the way and that she was always with her when she tried to get his attention to make sure that he never became hers; Sakuno had been hurt and shed tears the entire time her friend screamed at her accusing her of committing acts, she was incapable of doing. Their friendship ended the moment she uttered those six words and slapped her, tears of anger streaming down her cheeks. She had spent her time away from school reflecting on her past, her school years, and then her friendships, now lost forever to the flow of time; and after one month, she had managed to put it all behind her, to keep her Grandmother from worrying over her, especially in her health condition. After her first month of depression, she had returned to the world, and had taken care of her Grandmother, taking on her work schedule, overlooking the tennis team's training and organizing meetings her Grandmother would have otherwise done and attended herself, and suffering the discomfort of being in his presence.
While attending those meetings she had encountered the other tennis coaches, and in turn, she had been exposed to the other tennis team members, whom had taken a liking to her and her sweet nature. They were finally glad to meet a female who did not squeal at the sight of them or at the mention of their name, and better yet, a female with a sensible mind and one who would not throw herself at them or fawn over them. Although in the beginning, some of them did have troubles accepting this one single fact. She had been nervous the first time she had meet them, not just glimpsed some of them like when she had seen them first when she was in her second year of Seishun Gakuen and they in their freshman years of middle school. She had been a new addition to the familiar faces they had all come to know, and every time there was a meeting that she had to attend in place of her Grandmother, the other males would greet her with joyous cheers, and she would smile at them warmly. Of course, the ones she met were younger than she was and not as familiar, they were not the old regulars she had met in her first year, else she would have never become so accustomed to them, and she would have found herself returning to her old antics of deep blushes and endless stuttering.
Two months later, after attending every meeting her Grandmother missed, Sumire became healthier, and she was able to return to her meetings and continue with her coaching career. It was then when Ryuuzaki fell back into her depressed state, although now she did not show it and masked her sadness with a fake smile. A smile she practiced endlessly until perfection before her mirror. Whenever she saw the others, she had met in those meetings and the people from her past she would put on her fake smile and they would believe it, not bothering to figure her out. That was how perfect and real her smile was to others, it was the same as the ones she had used when she was still her timid self and when she still had her friends in her life. She had then spent the rest of her months from school, working with her Grandmother to help her out when she could, and then helping in a few small shops, whose owners had become accustomed to seeing her at their establishments when she could, a few months after she had started her second year in Seishun.
Her life had become a regular routine of waking up, cooking breakfast for her Grandmother, and lying to her about eating before she had come down, and then assisting her with her work, before leaving the house and going to see Oba-san and Oji-san, at their tea shop. She was always there making sure they did not hurt themselves while attending to the customers, as they were getting on in age and were finding it harder to move around as they had when they were younger in age. She had then spent most of her days in their teashop, attending to the customers and making the delicacies that every customary seemed to desperately crave, and when her shift was over, she would assist Oba-san and Oji-san in cleaning and closing up the shop. She would then escort them to their home, which was always nearby, a few blocks away, and after bidding them farewell, she would walk to her home and there she would clean the house, and bathe before starting on the cooking.
Then when she would hear the sound of her Grandmother's car entering the house, she would quickly set up the table for her Grandmother, and would remove her apron and greet her Grandmother at the door with her usual, "Okaeri" and faked smile. Her Grandmother would smile at her and would ruffle her hair, before she would reach out her hands and her Grandmother would give her the materials in her hand and then walk over to the kitchen table, praising her for her cooking and telling her what went on in her day at work. Ryuuzaki would smile at her and would put away the materials in her hands before entering the kitchen herself and washing the dishes while her Grandmother dinned. Her Grandmother had found it strange that her granddaughter never joined her in eating breakfast or dinner, and when she questioned it; she would always receive the same answer from her granddaughter: that she had eaten at work, during her break and that she was not hungry as it had only been two hours ago.
She laughed at herself, even in her own memories she despised herself. She was so pathetic, in her memories and even now as she cried like a child. So pathetic, how could she even think that he would look at her as a man would a woman? Let alone think he would harbour any romantic feelings for her, as she did him. Her next memory cut deep into her heart, as she remembered Yuji and Yuki, the ones she loved so dearly, the ones who adopted her as a sister, and that she came to see as her brothers. "I lied to them as well."
That had been her routine for her entire vacation from school, but then it all changed when she saw him once more at Kawamura-san's sushi shop, where her Grandmother had dragged her, when she had had enough of her granddaughter's excuses for skipping her meals. She had been protesting the entire ride to the sushi shop; and when they had arrived, her Grandmother had needed to drag her out of the car and into the shop, where she became rooted to her spot when she had seen everyone there. There, before her eyes, stood all of her sempais from her freshman and second years in Seishun Gakuen, the Ichinen Trio was there as well, and so was he, but worst of all she was there as well, looking at her with her sharp glaring eyes and with a dark scowl on her features, clinging to his arm. Ryuuzaki looked at the place and at the people congregating there, trying to discreetly, break free of her Grandmother's tight grip on her wrist, but her Grandmother was just as stubborn as she was and dragged her to one of the stools and ordered her to seat herself, as she took her stool.
She had no other choice and therefore she sat herself beside her Grandmother, and turned her back to the rest of the company as her Grandmother spoke to them, her voice booming throughout the room. Ryuuzaki laid her head on the cool surface of the table in front of her, and wrapped her arms around her small waist, her bangs covering her eyes and the rest of her hair trailing below her stool, overhearing everything her Grandmother said to her old students and to him. Every exchange between them, she heard and felt that her heart was being pierced by knives as they spoke, reminding her of the memories she had of them coming to this very same shop to dine with the regulars when they won their matches, her friends by her side, both excited and happy for the victories gained. However, now, she had nothing to be excited about, no one to talk to while the regulars conversed with each other, and Tomoka clung to him, as if her life depended on him.
"Sakuno," at her Grandmother's mention of her name; she tensed up and lifted her head slightly, looking at her Grandmother with her eyes lowered. "Sakuno, come and greet everyone." Her Grandmother beckoned her to come and she tried to move her body, but found she could not. "Sakuno, do not be rude and come and greet your sempai." Ryuuzaki looked helplessly at her hands and clasped them together, her head bowed. "Now, young lady, I did not raise you to be disrespectful of others." Her Grandmother's command tore her apart; how could she face them all when she could not stand her own presence any longer after everything happened? How could she look at them, greet them wholeheartedly, and smile at them, when she could not do that to her own reflection? She was a horrible being, lying to her Grandmother and destroying herself. Although, she could not bear being with them, when she did not deserve it, she slid off her stool and slowly walked over to them where she stood next to her Grandmother and slowly glanced at the people before her, bowing her head and her body, her back ramrod straight.
"Komban wa." Her voice lower than a whisper, trailed off and she remained in her bowed position. She heard several "Komban wa"s from the others, and she slowly stood up, her head still bowed and turned to her Grandmother, asking her without words if she could return to her seat and stay there for the rest of night. Her Grandmother looked at her worriedly and Ryuuzaki smiled at her to reassure her that she was fine. "I am a bit tired, Sobo-san, no need to worry about me." How could she do this to her own Grandmother? To the woman who raised her since she was young, and who gave up her personal life for her? She already knew that she was a monster for lying to her, she just could not let it all fade away, she was not like others in that aspect, she was bound to her memories, and therefore she lived her life with regrets and shame. She could not bear seeing them there, carefree and the same as when she had met them and him, still as gentle and intimidating as ever. They had not changed at all, except that they became handsomer than before, and while they remained the same she changed and became a void of shame and regret, her smiles faked and her words nothing but lies easily believed because of her gentle personality and her convincing smile.
After her greeting and silent exchange with her Grandmother, she remained seated in her stool near the corner closest to the door, her head in her hands and her entire body tense, as if she knew something unfavorable was going to happen to her. No one came to talk with her, as she appeared to be sleeping, the way her body did not move from its position, and how her breaths slowed until they became even, and harder to discern. While the others spent their time together, she overlooked every occurrence beneath her lids, as she was able to see what the closest people were doing near her. Her Grandmother was conversing with Fuji-san and Tezuka-san, who were seated next to Ryuuzaki-sensei's stool, while the others, from what she could hear, conversed among themselves, alternating from one random topic to the next. Everything continued like this for twenty long minutes, and then she heard the sounds of multiple steps coming into the shop; she looked to the door and heard one of the new people make an announcement. She felt relieved when she realized it was the other regulars from her school's tennis team, and that meant she would not feel so uncomfortable being surrounded by the others, and her past memories with them. The new additions greeted the other people in the shop, and began to converse with them, and only the twins seemed to notice her presence near the entrance, as they ran to her and shouted their nickname for her.
"Ryuu-hime!" They shouted and ran to her. When they reached her, they immediately pulled her off her seat and squished her between their two bodies, immobilizing her completely.
"Ryuu-hime-chan, we didn't know you were here, with everyone else. If we had known we would have come sooner, and basked in your beauty and sweetness." Yuki spoke as they cuddled her, and crushed their bodies to hers, talking aloud, for everyone to hear.
"Ne, why didn't you tell us anything, we haven't seen you since last year, and that isn't a nice thing to deal with, you almost broke our hearts when we stopped by Oba-san's and Oji-san's tea shop and we didn't see you there helping them. We were about to call the police when we didn't see you in the tea shop, but then we got sidetracked when the others came to us and told us we were supposed to meet the others here at Kawamura-san's Sushi Shop. So how has your vacation been like, besides the hourly workdays at the tea shop and the few months you became our temporary coach when Sensei was sick?" Yuji inquired as they talked, she looked at the floor, a small dusky blush spread on her cheeks and she tried to become invisible, but with all the commotion they were making and the fact that they had her body between theirs, she was stuck. The boys stepped back a little but kept their arms around her, smiling at her innocently and with their sweet charm she gave them a small smile and she spoke to them, her voice a mere soft and melodious whisper that grazed their ears and made them smile wider.
"Yuki-san, Yuji-san, please calm down you are creating a scene," at her words, they smiled at her sheepishly and blushed when they noticed the eyes of the other inhabitants on them and Sakuno. They smiled at Sakuno apologetically and she nodded her head at them, which made them smile once more, knowing she had forgiven them. "I did not say anything because I did not see myself coming to a meeting such as this one, I had been planning on going to the tea shop to help out Oba-san and Oji-san, but Sobo-san would not allow me to do so. My deepest apologies for making the both of you worry about me. I do not believe that one day of missing in action would warrant a police search, Yuki-san, Yuji-san." She laughed at this, her laugh light and chiming, a sweet laugh that melted their hearts and made them cuddle her even more than before. "You already figured out my vacation, I helped out at the tea shop after my temporary coaching days and that was all I have done, sorry to disappoint the two of you."
"It doesn't matter Ryuu-hime, as long as we get to spend time with you, we could care less if you disappointed us with your vacation schedule." Again, they crushed her body between theirs and then released her, but instead of walking away to be with the others, they wrapped their arms around her waist and sat her down between them, and ordered something to eat. When she tried to get up and leave them, they tightened their grip on her and dragged her back onto the ground where they sat her down again, and then leaned on her shoulders, sighing in content.
"We really missed you Sakuno-chan, you're like a little sister to us, and we can't help but worry about you every chance we get. We love you with all our hearts, you were the first one who could tell us apart and tell us our every quirk, you were the first one who didn't throw herself at us but saw us as human beings. Besides, you were also the first one besides our family, who was not bothered by our obsession with cute things. And that's what we love about you – everything you are, your personality, your heart, your kindness and beauty, your gentle nature and melodious voice, we love you and you'll always be important to us in our lives, always and for eternity." Yuki stated and they smiled at her and kissed her forehead.
When Yuji spoke next they both nudged her, as Yuji winked at her, "And remember that when you get married you better invite us and make us your husband's best men, we won't take no for an answer. Besides, you have to remember that you will have to bring your boyfriend or soon-to-be husband to us so we can meet him and threa– remind him that he should always be faithful and love your for the rest of his life. Moreover, if he does not meet our standards or hurts you, we will take you away from him and the pain, and love you ourselves. Ne, Yuki?" The aforementioned boy nodded in agreement and Sakuno smiled at them for their kindness, kissed each one on the cheek, and then hugged them, laughing at their playful ways. Of course, they had been serious when they had spoken to her, but she was too innocent and therefore was unable to see the underlying threat they had given every male in the room, as they conversed with her.
"Yuki-kun, Yuji-kun, it's been forever since I last saw the two of you, I can't wait to catch up." Sakuno tensed up as she heard Tomoka Osakada address the two males next to her, Yuji and Yuki looked up and spotted the pig-tailed girl, and cringed when they saw her. They did not hate her or dislike her; it was just that her loud voice grated on their ears, as she always seemed to be yelling her love for them and the rest of the team whenever Sakuno was around. This would then lead to Sakuno leaving them and avoiding them for an entire week, once she had ignored them for two whole months and they would always see her running away from them and the others. "Come on the two of you, come, and join us in our activities before the night ends." They observed how she stood before them and the way Sakuno tried to get out of their grip desperately, but their hold on her grew tighter and they snuggled closer to her, looking at Tomoka from their position, which only caused Sakuno to tense up and the girl in front of them to steam in anger.
"No thank you, Osakada, we would much prefer staying here with our beloved Hime-sama." Sakuno tensed up when she heard their words and she blushed when they cuddled her more, Tomoka turned red in anger and stomped off in another direction, leaving the trio alone one more. When she was gone, they looked up at Sakuno, smiled apologetically, and gave her their puppy-dog pout, which made her sigh and forgive them. They high-fived each other and then they turned to face the others who were surrounding Buchou and they noticed that his old teammates – well most of them except for his old intimidating Buchou – were joking around with him, and pushing him and the Osakada girl together.
"Sakuno would be way better for Buchou, than Osakada. Don't you think so too Hime-sama?" Yuji questioned as he looked the others and then back to Sakuno. Yuki looked over at Sakuno and noticed how she looked away from the scene they were creating and then they heard her ask them to release her, as she needed to use the Ladies' Room; they complied and watched as she left her side and walked in the direction of the restrooms. "Did I say something wrong?" Yuji looked at Yuki, who sighed at his brother stupidity, and then he looked at everyone else, who did not seem to notice Sakuno's departure as they continued to tease Echizen-buchou, who looked very annoyed and ready to commit homicide. They got up from their seated positions and walked over to others, and joined in on the fun, completely sidetracked from their previous train of thought – the same as always.
Sakuno eventually stepped out of the restroom, after looking at her reflection in the mirror, and mentally scolding kicking herself for her moment of weakness. She could not do this anymore, it was too painful to bear, she was only human, and therefore imperfect in her makeup. She could not bear lying to them any longer, especially when they loved her so dearly and viewed her as part of their family, a high honor to be bestowed upon her. She did not think she would be able to keep her charade up any longer, she was already falling apart, and her glass façade was shattering before her eyes, as her world shattered into millions of pieces, just like her heart. Everyone was happy and she was dour, she was defeated, but they, they were still strong and unconquerable, perfect in their very nature compared to her.
She did not know how long she would last putting up her ruse, but she knew that sooner or later it would fall, and everyone would see past her and hate her for her lies, she just hoped it was later in life, when she would be old enough to live on her own and not depend on anyone. She leaned against the wall of the door and stayed there for a small amount of time before standing up and walking back to her seat, quickly moving through the room, avoiding everyone in it. Her breathe caught in her throat when she almost ran into one of the males from the old tennis team, luckily he did not seem to notice her, as he was too busy keeping the food in his arms from falling onto the floor of the shop. She side stepped him and moved briskly to her destination, reaching it without any mishaps and sitting herself down on her stool from before, observing her Grandmother who seemed to be drowning herself in sake.
"Sobo-san, you should not drink so much, it is not the correct thing to do, especially when you are going to be conducting a vehicle. Not to mention the doctor told you that you should not drink because it will be a danger to your fragile health."
Sakuno looked at her Grandmother, worry etched on her beautiful features, and she tried to pull the sake bottle from her Grandmother, but her Grandmother, even in her drunken state had a good grip on the bottle and retched it from Sakuno's hands. Sakuno tried once more to retch it from her Grandmother's hands, and like before her Grandmother's grip was strong, but even then she did not give in and they both tugged on the bottle, each one trying to take it away from the other. The alcohol finally taking its effect on her system, Sumire's grip loosened and sent Sakuno flying off her stool and she landed on the floor, the sake bottle flying out of her hands and spilling on her, drenching her clothes in the foul odour of the sake. Hearing the crash, everyone in the shop turned their bodies to face the area where the noise came from, and came upon the scene of Sakuno sprawled on the floor drenched in sake and an overly drunk Sumire starring owlishly at the young woman in front of her. Everyone was silent, but the silence was broken when Tomoka burst out in peals of laughter, causing the males to react and run to the two women. The older males ran to Sumire and helped her off the stool, and the twins tried to get to Sakuno, but their buchou's buchou beat them to it, and they watched as he kneeled in front of their Sakuno and checked her for any injuries caused by her fall.
She remembered that day so clearly as if it had happened a few minutes before, she had been hardest not to attend the reunion, feeling she did not deserve to see her sempai and her classmates. She even laughed at the memory, as she remembered the struggles she had with Sumire for the sake bottle. She still remembered the pain that followed afterwards, as she fell on her bottom and hurt her wrist. Although this memory was filled with so much pain, such as when she and Ryoma argued after she left Kawamura-san's Sushi Shop, she cherished it deeply, because that had been the first time she had seen Tezuka again after he graduated and the first time she spoke with him, although it had been about her injured wrist.
"I did not deserve your concern back then, nor will I ever deserve it after everything I have done to you and everyone else." She smiled as she remembered the concern in his voice as he had knelt by her side and had tried to examine her wrist; and the feel of his hand on her skin, as he gently held her wrist, before she wrenched it out of his hand.
"Are you hurt Miss?" Tezuka Kunimitsu's baritone was heard through all of the commotion, when Sakuno heard it, she tensed up and moved away from him, only to cringe at the sharp pain that coursed through her left wrist. Remembering his previous question she nodded in the negative, but Tezuka had noticed the way she had cringed when trying to move back, and reached out to take a hold of her wrist, noticing that it was beginning to swell slightly. He lifted it closer to his eyes so he could inspect it but Sakuno pulled it back, with much effort and just whispered "Arigatou gozaimasu," as she looked over at her drunken Grandmother.
He followed her gaze after giving her a quick cursory glance, and looked on as several of his teammates tried to keep Sumire standing after the alcohol took effect on her, and he stood up, offering is hand to Sakuno, to help her up. She looked at it blankly and nodded in the negative, getting up herself, using both hands to get up. It was not a well thought out plan, as she instantly bit her bottom lip to prevent the scream that wanted to be released; tears began to spring up, but she did not allow them to fall and instead made her way to where her Grandmother was. Tezuka followed her, observing the way she held her injured wrist to her chest, and the way her grip on it tightened as she saw the condition that Ryuuzaki-sensei was in; he did not know what connection they shared but he could tell that the young woman cared greatly for her.
When they reached her the young woman got close to her and lifted Sumire's head up to see if she was awake, half-awake, or dead asleep, luckily for her, and the others, she was half-awake and she would be able to walk for a short amount of time before passing out. All of the males wrinkled their noses at the strong smell of sake that was emanating from the female in front of them, excluding the strong smell coming from their middle school tennis coach, and they looked at their Buchou standing behind the female, who was obviously worried for their old coach, in his own way.
"Tezuka what should we do now? We cannot possibly leave Sensei here in her state, it would be very ungentlemanly of us, and she would be disappointed in us if she found out we just left her here, in her current drunken state." Oishi questioned as he looked at Tezuka, very worried for Sumire, who was saying something, however, since she was so drunk they could not understand a word she said.
Tezuka looked at him and then to Sumire, sighing as he massaged the bridge of his nose; and to think that he was already going into his second year of high school and he still had to deal with these problems. He had thought that once he entered high school, Ryuuzaki-sensei would not do this to him or anyone of his other teammates, but he was too wishful in his thoughts. "We will shorten the reunion and take her to her home before her granddaughter begins to worry about her. Come, we will depart now, before it gets any darker and she passes out on us." Sakuno observed as the males conversed between themselves and looked on as Oishi-san and Fuji-san were replaced by Kaidoh-san and Momoshirou-san; they each grabbed one of her grandmother's arms and put it on their shoulders, walking her out of the shop glaring at each other. "I forbid you from fighting while you have Ryuuzaki-sensei under your care, is that understood Kaidoh, Momoshirou?" The mentioned males looked at him, nodding their heads, and looked away from each other; the remaining people in the shop looked on completely lost on what to do, until he spoke up.
"We will be leaving as well; all of you remember that we still have training tomorrow at our regular time. Get a good night's rest, because tomorrow is when everything is upped and you will be stretched to your limits." As he had spoken, all of his teammates had looked at him excitingly hoping he would give them a break, but after a few words, they began to lose their grins and their shoulders slumped in disappointment. Once he had finished speaking, they all replied with a monotonous "Hai Echizen-buchou," before thanking Kawamura-san and his father, as they exited the shop, breaking off into smaller groups, heading in different directions. Sakuno watched this all from her position near the door, and as Ryoma was leaving he noticed her standing near the door; Sakuno oblivious of what was to happen, walked over to the counter and began to converse with Kawamura-san, and from his vantage point it was not a social conversation, but more of a transaction. He stepped out, giving them some privacy and waited for her to step out of the shop, as he waited for her outside of the shop; he overhead their conversation – since the area was in complete silence. Kawamura-san had a loud voice despite his kind nature, even then, her small whispery voice was still heard by him, and although he had never noticed much about her person, he had noticed that he had always enjoyed hearing her voice and the sound of his name rolling off her tongue.
"Sakuno-chan, are you sure you are capable of walking to your home by yourself?" From where he stood leaning against the wall, Ryoma could detect a hint of worry and concern in Kawamura-san's voice, and he continued to listen to their conversation. "If you would like I could order my son to accompany you; being a young woman and the time of day – or should I say night – it is not safe to for you to be by yourself. You are prey to all of those men who wander the streets in search of young women; I cannot possibly leave you on your own." Ryoma could hear and see the logic in Kawamura-san's words and he hoped that Ryuuzaki would listen to him and allow Kawamura-sempai to walk her home. He knew how accident-prone she was, he also knew how the eyes of the male species began to take in her changes, and he had heard the frequent talk between the males in his classes that revolved around her.
"Thank you for your concern Kawamura-sama, demo, I can make it on my own. It will not be the first time I have had to walk home on my own in the dead of night, and I have survived all those times." He felt annoyed at the way she refused to be helped, which had now become a constant occurrence since he had seen her again, those countless times she had become his team's temporary coach. He was more annoyed at what she had said afterwards, how could she walk by herself in the dead of night by herself, was she that dense that she could not see that every woman faced danger when they were on their own at night? How could she just brush her own safety aside as if it was nothing? "I will just pay the tab and be on my way." Why was she this independent, why could she not be dependent like the rest of the female species? Why did she have to be stubborn like Ryuuzaki-sensei in her ways, why did she have to be so adamant on her independence?
"Sakuno-chan," he could hear Kawamura-san's exasperated sigh. "Here is the tab, and are you sure you can make it on your own?" He hoped Ryuuzaki would give in and take up Kawamura-san's concerned offer so that he could go home and not be worried about her. "Well, if you are so adamant and positive that you can go home on your own, I will trust you and let you go. However, if anything happens to you I will make it so that you cannot be on your own ever again. Sumire-san has done so much for my son; that I will repay her in any form I can. Besides, you are like a daughter to me, so I do not want any harm to befall you. Understood?" He did not know what her response was but he knew that her business with Kawamura-san was done with the moment he heard Kawamura-san's departing words to her. Soon he heard her exit and leaned away from the wall stepping closer to where she stood.
"You should heed his words Ryuuzaki, Ryuuzaki-sensei will not be happy with you or anyone else if something happens to you tonight." Sakuno whirled around at the voice and tensed up as she came face to face with him. She looked away from him for she could not bear his scrutinizing gaze; he took notice and tried to follow her gaze. "You heard me, right, Ryuuzaki?" He looked expectantly at her, waiting for her to turn and face him, but when she did not, he grew annoyed. "Come on Ryuuzaki, I will take you home, it is the least I can do for you and Sensei." He grabbed her wrist and tried to pull her forward, but she fought against him and wrenched her wrist free. "Come on Ryuuzaki. I will not take no for an answer, so you better cut out this independent act and accept the help that is offered to you, especially when it is with good intentions."
"Iie Echizen-san, arigatou for the offer though, it is very much appreciated, demo I can make it home by myself. Thank you once more." Sakuno clutched her hand to her chest and stepped back from him, but because of his quick reflexes enhanced by his many years of tennis, he caught hold of her wrist once more and pulled her towards him.
"I already told you, Ryuuzaki, I will not take no for an answer. Come on we are leav-" As he continued to pull her forward and turned his back to her, a blur of mahogany pigtails collided with him and wrapped its arms around his waist, snuggling close to his chest. At close inspection, it was revealed to be Osakada, Tomoka, who looked directly at Sakuno with a sneer through the crook of Ryoma's arm.
"Ryoma-sama, I am so glad you are still here, I thought I was going to have to walk home by myself. I was so scared when this thought popped up in my head. Thank the Kamis that you are still here and are able to walk me to my home. So, come on let's get going before it gets any darker, Ryoma-sama." She tugged on his arms and tried to pull him along with her, but he would not move from his spot, completely annoyed with her clinging and annoying attitude. "Ryoma-sama, come one let's move it!" She demanded as she looked at him, and continued with her endless tugging, much to the Ryoma's annoyance.
Ryoma looked from her to Ryuuzaki, trying to pry Tomoka off of his being; however, the girl had a strong grip on him and the more he struggled to remove her the tighter she held on to him, and the more distance Ryuuzaki was gaining, walking backwards from the pair. When he could not remove Tomoka and the distance between Ryuuzaki and himself increased and grew in length he sighed in defeat and spoke loud enough for her to hear him. "Ryuuzaki you are coming with us then, I will not walk one of you and leave the other, on her own; that would be inviting danger to your beings. Come over here so that we can get going, I don't plan on staying here all night until the sun comes up arguing with you over who is walking you home." He beckoned with his hands for her to come and stand by him, but Ryuuzaki shook her head in the negative as she looked at the two before her; Ryoma with his poker face had his hand extended to her, while Tomoka clung to him and glared even harder because she was still there.
"Hontou ni arigatou gozaimasu, Echizen-san, demo, I still have to run some errands before I return home. Your concern is much appreciated, but I cannot return home until my work is completed, so if you will excuse me, I must depart. Osaki ni, Echizen-san, Osakada-san." She smiled at the both of them and as she was turning around Ryoma spoke up once more in a commanding voice.
"Then I will accompany you on your errands. No matter what you say to me I will not leave until you agree to let me walk you home or you give me a good reason to let you walk on your own without a guardian or companion."
Sakuno sighed and then turned her body sideways, as she looked at Ryoma with a blank face, her voice blunt and monotonous, "Naruhodo." She sighed once more and then continued speaking again, "I still need to stop by the market place and pick up some groceries." She was about to turn around but stopped when she noticed he was going to protest again. "Then I will acquire a cab and drive home with the groceries, I cannot walk home with them, especially when I have much to buy to last us a month….or two weeks." She muttered under her breath as she turned around again and began walking away from the two. "Gomennasai, demo I must go, so once more osaki ni."
Ryoma sighed in his aggravation but she had given him a good enough reason not to worry and so he just let it slide; however, the next time she would not escape him so easily, she could not use that excuse forever. "Osaki ni Ryuuzaki." He looked down at Tomoka who still clung to him and sighed again, "Let's go." He turned around, glanced at Ryuuzaki's retreating figure, and then started walking with Tomoka talking the entire way and he, just blocking everything out, and hoping to Kami-sama that he would not go deaf.
Sakuno stopped in her tracks and watched the two silhouettes until she could no longer see them from her vantage point; she sighed deeply. "Arigatou Kami-sama, I needed to get out of there, I could not take being in his presence for so long, it….was….painful." She clutched her chest and smiled a heartbroken smile as she continued walking to the market place, quickly being sidetracked when she thought about what she needed to buy before she went home to her Sobo-san. "Ano, let me see we need sweet potatoes, some carrots…ano….what else?" She stopped in her tracks, chin in hand, her face scrunched up in concentration, "What else? ...I guess I will see when I arrive at the market place." She shrugged her shoulders and then continued walking, quickly arriving at the market place, she was fortunate that Kawamura-san's Sushi Shop was near a market place. She quickly entered the market place and made her way to the fruits and vegetables, and afterwards the meat section. It did not take her long to get the necessary groceries and she soon stepped out of the market place, receiving odd glances because her clothing was still drenched in sake and she did not seem bothered by the smell.
Stepping out of the market place she quickly looked around for a cab, and finding one, she walked over to it, and got in. After she was asked where she was headed to the cab began to move and she sat perfectly still in the back, looking at the passing city scenery. Minutes passed and she noticed she was near her home and stopped the cab driver, "Koko de tomete kudasai." The cab driver stopped and she paid him once she stepped out and got the bags out of the cab. "Hontou ni arigatou gozaimasu. Osaki ni Mister." She smiled and left once the driver drove away, leaving her under the streetlight with her grocery bags in hand.
The next onslaught of memories made her laugh for a short amount of time despite her misery, but then it threw her into another bout of misery as she remembered the lies she told her beloved sempai without reserves. "I am the worst human being in existence…"
After the car disappeared, she started walking in the direction of her home, and she quickly arrived much to her gratification, the bags were heavy and her arms were not as toned as the males. She was getting tired of the weight in her hands and her injured wrist was not faring well with the added weight she put on it. She opened the front door and was surprised when she saw the lights in the living room, kitchen, and hall lit up. Worried her Sobo-san was out of bed in her drunken state; she ran into the kitchen and dropped the groceries on the table, quickly running to the living room where she was sure she heard footsteps. Upon entering the living room, she was met with multiple pairs of eyes and shocked expressions, including some gasps; she froze where she stood and then regained her composure quickly muttering a "Gomennasai" and then bolting out of the room and up the stairs, tripping every once in a while because of her haste. Reaching the top of the stairs, she ran to her room, shut the door, and slid down the wall of her room filled with mortification.
"That was so embarrassing, I just ran in there…, and left without an explanation, I was so rude and….Sobo-san will be so disappointed in me if she found out what I did." She whispered to herself and brought her knees up to her chest, only to realize that she was still soaked in her Sobo-san's favourite sake. She sighed and got up from the floor walking to her bathroom where she turned on her shower, disrobed and stepped into it, the hot water calming her nerves; the water washing away her troubles and the horrible stench of the sake she was bathed in at the shop. After twenty minutes in the shower she stepped out, her skin red from all the scrubbing she did to get rid of the sake smell, she wrapped a towel around herself and then dried her hair, stepping out of the bathroom and making her way to her dresser. Once there she opened the drawers and got her garments and then ran back into the bathroom changing quickly and then brushing her wet silky hair.
Once she was done, she just starred at her reflection, smiling sadly at it, before turning the lights off and walking out of the bathroom into her room. She glanced around her room and then decided that she should step out of her room and treat her guests and be a courteous host to them, as her Sobo-san had taught her to be since a small child. Reaching the door, she grabbed the handle, but at the last minute she stopped turning the knob and laid her forehead on the cool mahogany wood of her door, trying to compose herself before she stepped foot into the hallway. Composing her features she opened her door and slowly made her way down the hallway and then down the steps, constantly repeating her mantra in her head. She slowly walked into the living room and tried to speak up, although her voice remained hardly inaudible to the others, despite the silence that befell the room when she entered it.
"Nante imashita ka?" The males glanced at her straining to hear her words as she continued to glance at the floor before her. "I apologize for running out of the room before without any explanation."
"It was nothing, we were surprised when we saw you, but then we realized: you probably live here with Ryuuzaki-sensei and her magomuse. Speaking of which, have you seen her anywhere, when we arrived she was nowhere to be seen and we thought she was in her room, but after we knocked and opened her room's door we did not see her." Oishi spoke as he looked at the young woman before them, dressed in a shirt and knee length pants, for some strange reason she seemed familiar to him, as if he knew her from some time ago when he was in Seishun Gakuen.
"Ah, she is probably spending the night with her friend." Sakuno smiled as she mentioned this, trying her best to keep the obvious lie hidden in her words and her voice from sounding nervous and anxious.
"Hai, that does make sense. Well, I guess we should tell you that Ryuuzaki-sensei is up in her room resting, she had a bit too much sake and well we had to bring her home before she harmed herself."
"Arigatou for telling me, I will see to it that she remains sleeping while she gets the sake out of her system without hurting herself. Ano, would you all wish to eat something?" She nervously asked the males causing Momoshirou to perk up and bounce up from his seat.
"That would be great, Miss…What did you say your name was again?" Momoshirou asked as he looked at her sheepishly, she blushed at her rudeness and bowed in apology.
"Gomennasai minna-san, I am Ryuuzaki….Hikari, hajimemashite." She bowed before them, all the while hoping they would believe her lie and not recognize her from before. Although she was positive that when her Grandmother had called her over to greet them at the shop, they had not heard the name she called out, or else they would have recognized her right away.
"NYA! You are related to Ryuuzaki-sensei. Are you her daughter? Her niece? Another one of her granddaughters, like Ryuuzaki-chan? Or are you her–…" All of a sudden, Eiji Kikumaru was cut off by a deep baritone voice that she instantly recognized as Tezuka, Kunimitsu who ordered him to calm down and stop asking her questions. She stood from her bowing position and smiled at Eiji, who smiled back at her in a friendly manor.
"Iie, I am not related to Ryuuzaki-sensei in anyway, I am a friend of the family, and I was visiting her and Sakuno-chan while I was still here. You see my maiden name is Ryuuzaki and my surname is Hikari." Eiji looked at her strangely along with Momoshirou, and she laughed sheepishly, "Ah, I know my name sounds strange, unusual, but my chichi-ue named me Ryuuzaki before he even knew I was a female, and I have grown accustomed to the name that I see no point in changing it to something more feminine."
"Ah, I see. So you are just visiting our sensei and her musume during your time here?" Fuji Syuusuke questioned as he looked at her through his half lidded eyes. Receiving a nod from her he spoke once more, "Please excuse my preying, but may I inquire your reason for coming here and visiting our dear Sumire-san?"
She smiled at him as best she could, trying to hide her nervousness, and replied after a few seconds. "Not at all, I am actually here to attend school, my father saw it best that I come and study here with Sakuno-chan at Seishun Gakuen. He hopes that by attending the school my character might improve and I will become more social with my peers. Although I doubt the school will change much of my personality, if Sakuno-chan could not change me when we were younger, I doubt a school or its students will be able to do so either." She hoped they believed her because she certainly did not believe her own lie, it felt so strange speaking of herself with others, especially when they had no idea she was Ryuuzaki, Sakuno, and not some stranger they just met a few minutes ago.
"You would be surprised, the students in Seishun are very amiable and open-minded, I am sure that with the right friendships you will see a great change in your person and so will your father. You just have to try to at least talk to someone, even if it is for something like directions or the time of day, and you will acquire many friends to last you a lifetime."
"Arigatou gozaimasu sempai for quelling my insecurities, now would you still like to have a meal?" She inquired smiling sweetly at them, as she looked at Tezuka who was looking at the excited Momoshirou disapprovingly.
"Hai Hikari-san, I would like that very much!" Momoshirou exclaimed cheerily looking at her excitedly, completely oblivious to Tezuka's disapproving glare, which seemed to increase for every second that passed.
"Momoshirou do not be rude." Tezuka had directed his words to the excited male, and had then looked at her as he spoke next. "We thank you for your hospitality Hikari-san; however, we must be departing, it is getting late, our parents might become worried at our absence, and we have tennis practice tomorrow in the morning." At this, several groans were heard that were silenced by a glare from Tezuka; she giggled at their antics, it seemed that even as time passed by, her dear sempai retained several of their old traits.
"Wakarimasu, and once again I thank you for bringing Ryuuzaki-sensei home, and I apologize on her behalf for any trouble she caused. I should have gone with her when she left to make sure she did not drink any sake."
"Do itashimashimaste, we hope you do not face any troubles with sensei in her current state." She nodded at his reply, trying hard not to blush as she noticed the changes in his appearance. "Mo ikanakereba narimasen, arigatou gozaimasu once more Hikari-san; we hope you have a good night." At his words all the males stood from their seats and made their way to the door, she followed them and as they left, she bid them goodnight, receiving a chorus of "Osaki ni"s in return. She remained at the door watching as their silhouettes disappeared into the night and smiled at the spot where they disappeared.
"It seems as if time had never passed and I was still in my first year," she laughed merrily, "sempai-taichi did not seem to have changed much, they are still very kind…and formal." She glanced up at the midnight sky, looking at the twinkling stars that shone in the endless space of black night. "Maybe, just maybe, I can go back to my previous self and I might be able to regain my friendships." Smiling at the thought she closed the door, ran to the kitchen where she proceeded to put the groceries in their respective areas; she then checked on her grandmother, and after ascertaining she was indeed fine, she returned to her room and fell on her bed with a content sigh. She quickly fell asleep where she dreamed of a happy future, a smile adorning her features as she entered a peaceful slumber.
"I was such a fool to hope for such a stupid thing…I could no longer change what I had become, but even then I tried to make a false reality for myself, one that I could try and hope for. I was so foolish…" She laughed at herself and wiped her tears away trying her hardest to stop the flow of tears that continued to stream down her cheeks despite the hand that wiped the away.
It was her first day at Seishun High and she was filled with trepidation, she knew no one in this school, and she just knew she would get lost trying to find her classes. She had been walking the halls trying to locate her first class, hoping that she would be able to find it before classes began; she had come very early so that she could locate all of her classes before school officially started. However, despite her early arrival, she was unable to locate her first class; instead, she had found her other classes by accident as she roamed the halls and the buildings looking for that one single class, only to end up completely lost. She tried to retrace her steps, but she only made it worse, as she forgot from which direction, she had come from and had started walking in random directions hoping to come upon something familiar. After several minutes of trying to locate anything remotely familiar in the long corridor, she heaved a despaired sigh and leaned against the window on her left.
"I cannot possibly believe I got lost…I should have just asked the nice lady at the reception desk for a map of the school." She sighed once more and looked outside the window, combing her fingers through her hair. "I might as well try to find a way out of this building and ask someone if they know where I can find my class." She leaned away from the window and began walking down the hall, becoming absorbed in her thoughts as she looked every now and then at the classrooms. Due to her lack of attention, she did not hear the footsteps that were walking in her general direction, and was shocked when she found herself on the floor.
She had been walking down the hall lost in thought and then all of a sudden she had met a hard wall, causing her to fall on her bottom and hurt her nose. She rubbed her nose as she finally came back to earth and glanced around the hall hoping no one saw her collide with a wall. She chastised herself for not staying alert to her surroundings, but she was soon drawn from her thoughts when a voice came from in front of her, where the wall supposedly stood.
"Daijoubu desu ka?" She looked up at the sound of the voice and was surprised to see that the wall she walked into was not a wall but a young man with chestnut hair, closed eyes, and a warm smile directed at her as he squatted in front of her. She had just collided with Fuji, Syuusuke the former tensai and sadist of Seishun Gakuen; to say she was shocked was an understatement, she had not expected to meet him at all or the other regulars in school. Technically, she had forgotten they attended Seishun High, so she was more than shocked she was mortified. Realizing he had asked her a question, she responded, albeit shaky.
"Ah….D-Daijoubu…desu….G-Gomennasai, for bumping into you s-sempai, I had not meant to do so, I was just…lost in…in thought." She tried smiling up at him, but she only managed to blush a pale red and look away from him; she got up and bowed in front of him apologizing once more, and as she tried to leave, he spoke once more.
"Ah, well that is understandable, this must be your first time here I assume?" He looked at her and she nodded her head looking away from him. "You must have gotten lost looking for you class, the buildings are big and confusing if you have never been inside them before." She only nodded her head once more keeping her gaze locked on her feet as she continued to blush. He smiled at her, and spoke again, "Fuji, Syuusuke, hajimemashite, and you are?"
She panicked when he introduced himself, but she managed to calm herself down and answered her question. "R-Ryuuzaki…Hikari, Ryuuzaki. Hajimemashite, Fuji-sempai." She bowed once more and waited for a response to come from him; she did not have to wait long for his response.
"Hikari-san, what are you doing here? Should you not be at Seigaku with Ryuuzaki-sensei's granddaughter? Did you perhaps confuse this school for Seigaku?" Although he did not show it, he was confused as to why she was in the school.
"I did not confuse the schools sempai. Apparently, I had high tests scores and I was allowed to skip a grade and attend Seishun High."
"Wakarimasu, well would you like some help finding your classes. I have spare time and I can give you a tour if you would like."
"Arigatou gozaimasu Fuji-san, but I do not wish to be a bother to you or anyone else."
"Do not worry about that, you will not be a bother to me or anyone else. Besides, a sempai should always help their kohai, don't you agree?" He smiled at her as he began walking down the hallway motioning for her to follow him; she smiled at his remark and followed him as he began telling her about the rooms in the building. With his help, her first day had gone smoothly and she had even met a few of the other regulars as she made her way to her classes.
She smiled as she remembered the day she met Fuji in the halls and the kind way he treated her, and the small jokes he made as he gave her a quick tour of the buildings she would have classes. He had even gone as far as escorting her to her first class when the bell had rung signaling the arriving students to find their classes. She had protested the entire way, but he had brushed her protests aside and smiled at her, he had even ruffled her hair before leaving her in her class. Something she could have done without because the entire class time she had curious looks thrown at her and a few glares from her female classmates, well, from the Fuji fan girls, a majority of the girls smiled at her and some waved at her when she took her seat. She continued smiling as she remembered the many instances Fuji escorted her to her classes after that incident during her first year of high school.
Even though she had much contact with the regulars during her first year, she spent most of her time with her friends from her classes. She would go to their games when she was invited and she would cheer for them, but aside from the games and the several times the regulars escorted her to her classes, with the exception of Tezuka, Kaidoh, Inui, and Oishi, she did not have much contact with them.
THIS IS MY SONG FOR YOU
Kimi no moto e todoketaiyo MELODY
"I had actually thought I could have kept my charade a secret, I had not counted on my old Seigaku classmates to enter the picture, nor had I expected for the regulars to find out my secret." She looked at the scenery in front of her; she had continued running from everyone, until she had reached the park where she now lay curled up in a ball on one of the sun-kissed benches. "They had reentered my life once more; I had finally grown accustomed to Fuji and the others, while inadvertently falling for Tezuka. I even grew closer to him than ever before, thanks to the sempai-taichis' meddling. In the short amount of time they entered my life once more, they managed to turn my world upside down and expose my lies." Her eyes became dull as she remembered what had happened an hour ago with her sempai-taichi and the others.
"You're nothing but a liar and a backstabber Sakuno Ryuuzaki." Tomoka Osakada yelled at her as she stood before Sakuno, her eyes blazing with anger. Sakuno starred at her, wondering what she had done to warrant such a hostile Tomoka to yell at her in front of the whole tennis team. The males looked at the two confused, they did not understand why Tomoka called Hikari-san, Sakuno; she looked nothing like Ryuuzaki-sensei's granddaughter so they did not understand the reason Tomoka had for calling her Sakuno.
"Tomoka-chan I think you are mistaken. Tha is Hikari, Ryuuzaki, not Sakuno." Momoshirou spoke as he looked at the fuming pigtailed girl and the confused Hikari. At his words, Tomoka swiveled around until she was facing the other regulars and laughed as she pointed at Sakuno, who stood behind her, pale as snow.
"You actually believe her lies. Can you not tell by her appearance that this is not who she has lead you to believe. Look at her closely and tell me sempai that she is not Ryuuzaki, Sakuno. Tell me you do not see the similarities between your supposed Hikari and the Sakuno you knew from our Seigaku days."
At her words, the males turned their gaze to the pallid Sakuno who looked about ready to faint, and looked at her from top to bottom, slowly taking in her features and comparing her to the Sakuno they knew from their Seigaku years. Her auburn hair matched with Sakuno's, although it was not in her childish braids nor was it clipped by a single flower clip. Her large doe like eyes matched as well, they spoke of a sweet innocence, even though they appeared duller than what they remembered and guarded. Her current nervous state reminded them of the young Sakuno who was always nervous in their presence and always seemed ready to run out at any given opportunity. Although the similarities were there, they could neither deny that she was not Sakuno nor could they prove that the young girl, nay, woman before them was the sweet and innocent Ryuuzaki, Sakuno from their Seigaku days.
"Osakada-chan, we cannot deny that she is not Ryuuzaki-san, because the similarities are indeed there, but we cannot say that she is her, because there are differences between the two that stand out. Just because you say she is Ryuuzaki-chan, does not mean she is her; she could just have a close resemblance to her, she was friends with Ryuuzaki-chan since childhood, so there could be a chance that they look alike or that they could be family." Oishi spoke as he recovered, Tomoka only laughed and turned back to Sakuno, challenging her to deny the truth of her words.
"You're Ryuuzaki, Sakuno and you cannot deny this, no matter what you say, you and I both know that I speak the truth." At her words, Sakuno looked away and clutched at her skirt, shaking her head in the negative. "You really think you can fool me, Sakuno. I knew you since we were children, and you never once mentioned a Hikari, Ryuuzaki nor did I ever meet her when you're family would visit. When I had asked you about your family, your cousins, and your other friends, you never mentioned a Hikari; it wasn't because you thought I would be jealous, but because she did not exist back then, nor does she exist now." Sakuno's knees grew weak and she fell to the ground, causing some of the regulars to rush to her side and try to help her support herself. "Tell them the truth Sakuno, or would you prefer I tell them, because I will, and you will end up hurting them more than any tennis injury they have received in their life. TELL. THEM. NOW."
Sakuno tired to fight back her tears and tried to break free from the hands that held her in place, giving her support, but she felt drained because of Tomoka's words. "I cannot tell them what is not true, Osakada-san."
"And yet you still continue to lie to them about everything. Speak the truth and face the consequences of your actions."
"I have already told you, I cannot…tell them anything. I cannot it would be too painful for me to bear, I would prefer to die this instant than tell them what you want me to say."
"Hikari-chan, nya, what is Tomoka-chan talking about? Please tell us, we do not want to be left in the dark. Please."
"Iie, I cannot tell you that sempai, please understand, I have my reasons for keeping things from you all."
"What reason would you have, Ryuuzaki that you refuse to tell us your secret? Tell us this secret of yours and then justify the reason for keeping it from us." Sakuno stiffened at the baritone that addressed her; she could not refuse him no matter how hard she tried. She loved him so much she would give her life for him, but she would fight against her feelings for him and keep everything from him and the others.
"Iie, I refuse sempai, I cannot justify my reasons, and even if I could I still will not speak a word."
"If you won't tell them Sakuno then I will."
"Please Tomoka do not say a word…I beg of you."
Tomoka ignored her and turned to the side so that she could see the regulars who surrounded them. "Iie, I refuse. Our sempai deserve to know that you have lied to them about everything, your past, your family, and most importantly your identity." She looked at every one of the males and then addressed them, "Sempai, tell me do you not find it strange that after Sakuno disappeared, that she appeared in our lives. Is it not strange that she knew so much about you before she had formally met you, and that she knows so much about Sakuno's family, and her grandmother's medical condition and tendencies?" The males nodded their heads at her questions, they had never paid attention to these facts, but with the current situation they tried to grasp onto any solid fact that was thrown at them, trying to keep from drowning in the sea of confusion they currently swam in.
"You see, the truth was always right before your very eyes, disguised by clever lies; lies that she wove into your minds, making you believe she was someone she is not. If you had just opened your eyes before she trapped you in her sea of lies, you would have seen that the person standing before us is Sakuno Ryuuzaki. You would have seen that the persona she hid behind, Ryuuzaki Hikari, never existed, and was just a fabricated lie. You just need to open your lies to the truth. It was that si–" She stopped mid sentence, when she heard Sakuno's strangled cry.
"Yamete kudasai!" She shouted, her voice wavering as she looked at Tomoka and glanced at the stunned regulars.
"Doushite? Tell me, why should I stop, why should I not tell them the truth that you hid from them these past two years?"
"I had my reasons." She looked down at the ground beneath her, "Do you think I enjoyed lying to the ones I came to see as family? Do you think it was easy for me to lie to the one…to the ones that I love so dearly?" She looked at Tomoka, her tears streaming down her cheeks, giving her the appearance of a wounded child. "I hated every moment I had to lie to them, it hurt me every time I lied to them about who I was. But, did you ever stop to think why I had to lie to them?" She cupped her face and her body began to tremble, racked by her silent sobs.
"I had to lie to them to protect myself from the pain, from the affection I felt for them. Everything was taken from me three years ago…I lost everything I cherished, you know this yourself, and you witnessed it all happen…" You were the cause of it, she wanted to say this aloud, but refrained from doing so, not wanting to complicate things further. "I had to lie; I had to, to protect myself. I did not deserve their attention, their companionship, their kindness, I did not deserve the things they gave to me, nor will I ever deserve them. That is why I lied; I wanted to find a way for me to be near them without the fear of losing them like I did everyone else. I had to lie, I just had to LIE!" She hugged herself as she finished speaking, her sobs audible for the others to know how much she was in pain because of her confession.
They were not furious with her for lying to them, no, they understood her reasons. She was frail when they first met her as a mere child in Seigaku, she had little to no self-esteem, and others easily intimidated her. She was easy prey for others, one cruel word and she would crumble, and one harsh look and she would withdraw into herself. She was frail back then and when they had met her again, under an alias, she was still frail, they knew it because they saw the way she became self-conscious when in their presence.
"Hik-Sakuno, you could have told us this when we had met. You did not need to lie about who you were, we will admit, we are hurt that you did not tell us this before but–" At Fuji's words, Sakuno quickly rose from her position and bolted from the scene, running as fast as she could from them all. They all stood where they were, trying to recover from everything they had learned and from her actions, and when they finally recovered they were lost on what to do.
"…Such a stupid fool I was. Did I really expect them to understand my reasons for lying to them…?" Another sob wracked her body as she tried to keep her sobs hidden. "At least I am far away from them…and the repercussions of my actions. I wish…I had told them from the beginning who I was, maybe then I could have avoided this mess…and all this pain and these tears." She tried to console herself but she only managed to bring herself down. Drying her tears as best she could she straightened her back and tried to stop her sniffles, and calm her racing heart. "You are safe here Sakuno, there is no need to worry about them finding you, they would not think of coming after you after everything you have done to them." She took in calming breaths and began to relax, "You are sa–" Her speech was interrupted by the sound of running feet, panting breaths, and a voice she did not wish to hear, not now or ever again.
"Ryuuzaki-san…I finally…found you…" She stiffened at the baritone she heard, and tried her hardest not to gaze in the direction it came from. She could not and she found herself turning around and looking at Tezuka, Kunimitsu; the man she loved with all her heart, and the man she betrayed with her lies. She saw him straighten himself as he regained his breath, and then his eyes met hers and he spoke once more, sticking his hand out as a welcoming gesture, "Come Ryuuzaki-san, we should return to the others before night falls."
She trembled as she heard him speak, and she shook her head in the negative but he looked at her hard, refusing to take no for an answer to his demand. "Iie…I cannot. Gomennasai, demo, I cannot go with you or with the others. I am sorry…" Apologizing to him, she quickly stood up from the bench she had been curled up in moments ago and bolted from the area, Tezuka hot on her heels.
"Ryuuzaki-san, stop." She heard his command but ignored it, she could not face him or the others now, or ever in her life again. Her only option was to run away from him and everyone else; she knew she could not outrun him; he was not the tennis captain for nothing. She knew he had great stamina with all the training he did in tennis, she did not, but she still hoped that she could outrun him and elude him. Please Kami-sama; do not let him catch me, please. She continued running despite the voice that kept trying to stop her in her tracks, when she heard the voice stop she slowed down and breathed in a sigh of relief, thinking he had given up chase and decided to leave her alone. Hontou ni arigatou gozaimasu Kami-sama. Her moment of relief soon vanished when she heard panting right next to her ear and felt two hands grasp her arms, she froze up and pleaded with the gods that it was not whom she thought it was.
"Now that I have you stationary, I hope that you will come willing with me and accompany me to meet with the others, Ryuuzaki-san."
"Iie, I refuse…Let me go." She struggled against his hold but he only tightened his grasp on her arms the more she struggled until she was sure that her bones would shatter from his grip. She stopped struggling and her shoulders slumped, deflating in his presence, her will to fight him gone in an instant. Her voice weak and sounding like that of a child's broke the silence they were currently in, "Onegai shimasu, let me go." She began to struggle again, although weak, but his arms prevented her from any further movement, when they came around her and wrapped around her front.
"Iie, Ryuuzaki-san, not until I get the answers I seek from you." He hoped that by holding her in place she would agree to his request, although he would have preferred that he would not have had to resort to this action. "Now, Ryuuzaki-san, tell my, why did you lie to us about your identity, did you not trust in us that you would keep it a secret from everyone? Or is it as you said before, that you feared to be hurt once more?"
She did not respond right away and remained silent for two minutes, he waited patiently for her reply to come, still holding her to him; he could feel the tenseness in her shoulders. Finally, she spoke and he had to strain to catch her words that were mere whispers, "You would not understand my reasons Tezuka-san. Please just let me go, I cannot bear this any longer."
"I refuse to let you go, you will give me my answers one way or another, but I will not let you leave until you answer my questions."
"You do not get it. I cannot tell you my reasons, you would not understand them; just let me–"
"I have said it twice and I will say it once more, I will not release you until I have my ans–" He was interrupted by her voice that grew in volume because of her desperation.
THIS IS MY SONG FOR YOU
Kimi no moto e todoketaiyo MELODY
"YAMETE KUDASAI! YOU WILL NOT UNDERSTAND MY REASONS…No one ever will," her voice lost its pitch and began to lower in sound, "please just understand my refusal to answer you."
"I cannot and I will not Ryuuzaki-san, everyone deserves an explanation, as do I. You cannot deny us this right, if you tell us your reasons we will understand I promise you, you just need to trust us, trust in me."
"No even if you assure me I refuse." At her exclamation, he spun her around until they were facing each other, and he glared at her.
"Why are you so hardest on keeping the truth of your lies from us? Are we not trustworthy? Did we not prove to be trustworthy to you during the time you spent with us before as a mere girl, and the time spent with us before this mess?" He looked at her hard, but his gaze became soft, as he saw her tear streaked face. "Tell me why you cannot tell us; tell me what needs to be known."
THIS IS MY LOVE FOR YOU
Futari naraba eien ni nareru
"I…I…c-cannot...please understand sempai." She looked at him, her eyes pleading him to grant her requests but he shook his head in the negative. She knew he wanted answers and she knew she could not keep them from him for much longer; she loved him too much to deny him anything he asked of her. "Please…"
All she received was a glare from him, one that hurt more than any words the others could yell at her. She looked down at her feet, her bangs obscuring her vision of him as tears welled up in her eyes once more. "I was afraid," she began in a low voice, "I was afraid everyone would reject me, that they would push me away like everyone else did after you all left. I was afraid I would tarnish the memories I had of you before I lost everything…I was afraid that my heart would break if I told you the truth and you rejected me."
"You could have told us the truth after you grew used to us Ryuuzaki, yet you did not. Doushite?" He looked at her trembling shoulders, not knowing how to console her and better their current situation.
"I wanted to do so, but then…but, I had not counted on having my heart stolen from me by the most unexpected of people." She looked at him from behind her lashes, looking at his reactions, "I feared that if the one I loved found out about my lies, he would despise me…I could not bear to have that sempai. I had given up on love after my first love, and I did not want to be hurt again so I lied to protect myself, to protect my feelings….to protect my heart from anymore pain, from shattering in my chest from all the pain I would have to endure. I was a coward back then, and I am a coward now…That is what kept me from telling everyone the truth, and what urged me to lie to everyone I cherished with all my heart." You have no idea Tezuka how much this pains me, I hoped that I would be able to love you from afar, without you knowing who I was or anything about me. I thought I could make this last forever, for eternity. I would have been happy if nothing had changed from last year…but I was too wishful, like a foolish child.
Soredeite kimi wa tokubetsu ni
Ikikata wo kaetari wa shinai
Koukai ya hansei no hibi wa
Dakara koso kimi rashikumo aru
"You could have told us everything nothing would have changed. You could have changed your decisions at any moment, but we would not have changed our opinion of you, names do not matter when it comes to a person, they are mere formalities. A name does not determine a person, it is their character that determines who they are; a name may bear significance to your past, but it will never matter to those who care for you, nor will it matter in neither the present nor the future. The way you were back then and the way you are now, you are still the same as before. You make no changes to your life; your lies will not change anything in your life. I understand your reasons, and the others will as well. Do not regret what has passed and reflect on your past actions, they do not suit you."
"You are wrong Tezuka-san, I have lived my life in regret, and I have lived for far too long in the past, to believe in your words. I have lived in the past, I currently wallow in my past and regret everything I have done, and I will live in the past forever, always regretting everything I have done…regretting my existence."
"Then why do you not try to change?"
"If it were that simple I would have done so before any of this happened…Besides, I did change, my attitude and my view of the world changed, even though they changed for the worst."
"Asu ni nareba kitto kawareru kara"
Fuan nanka nai
Mou daijoubu sa
"Then change again, and this time, change for the better. If you cannot change, we will not judge you, we will help you change if you need assistance. There is always a tomorrow, and no matter how many tomorrows you go through, we will be there to help you change, we will catch you if you fall. We will give you encouragement, and if you refuse to be helped by everyone else, then I will assist you myself, even if you push me away. I will help you find a better tomorrow full of change."
"Please, do not promise me impossible things sempai, it hurts me more." She looked at him sadly, trying her hardest to smile the best she could behind her tears. "Your promise hurts more than anyone else's promises to me. More than you will ever know." She looked away from her, her pained smile still gracing her delicate lips, causing his heart to lurch in pain. Why would his promise to her hurt her more than any other promise given to her by another person? Did she feel he was inadequate to help her change, and therefore thought he was giving her empty promises he could not complete?
"Why is that Ryuuzaki-san? Do you find me inadequate to assist you? Do you think my promises empty, a lie to convince you to open up to me? Do you think so little of me as to lie to a woman about something like this?" He voiced his thoughts to her and he watched her features become more pained.
"It is not that I do not trust you Tezuka-san, or that I believe you are deceiving me. It is just that…that I cannot bring myself to change…or to be in anyone else's presence, and most importantly your presence."
Dakishimete shimai sou sa
Sonna fuuni kimi ga warau kara
Hitori ni washinai sa
Zettai ni kimi wo hanashitaku wanai
She smiled up at him as she spoke hoping he would drop the subject and leave her be, but she did not know him well enough to know that once he set his mind on a task he would complete said task. She had expected him to let her go when his gaze softened as he gazed at her, so she was shocked when he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her to his body, leaning his chin on her head.
"You really are a stubborn woman Ryuuzaki, Sakuno. I would have never seen myself embracing a female and trying to console her. But then again, you seem to worm your way into everyone's hearts; you find a spot in our hearts, and we succumb to your spell. As a child I watched over you, I cared for you and came to see you as a sister." Please stop sempai, please do not speak anymore, my heart cannot take any more wounds. "But then we parted ways, and when I saw you again in Seigaku, I felt the urge to protect you like I did when we were children, but I kept it at bay, not wanting to come between you and your friends." Please stop, I know you can never love me, but it hurts even more to have you say it aloud. "Even now, I want to protect you like before, I do not want to ever let you go, you have gone through so much, you have isolated yourself from everyone. You are alone; I do not want that for you, I do not want to ever let you go, not now that you are in my arms. Your smile pains me and makes me want to hold you forever in my arms until I can make your pain go away…"
"Pleases stop sempai, please do not make it harder for me…Please, I beg of you." She pleaded with him, her heart hurt to hear him say he only loved her as a sister, unlike she, who loved him as a woman would a man.
Ii kaketa kotoba no tsuzuki wo sagashiteru
Ano hi kara zutto
Nemohamonai uwasabanashi wo kinishiteru
Ore rashikumo nai
"Sakuno," her heart clenched painfully at the use of her name, "do you remember that time you and I spent together, because of the others' meddling?" She smiled despite her tears and pained heart. She remembered the time the other regulars locked her and Tezuka in her classroom and left them there for an entire day. She remembered how Eiji had smiled and winked at them as he had wished them good luck before the door cut him off from her sight and locked the two of them from the outside world.
"Remember, how you began to talk with me about trivial things, trying to expel the awkward silence between us…and how you began to ask me questions that involved romantic matters." She nodded against his chest remembering her foolish antics and blushed a shade of dark red as she remembered how stupid she had looked asking him those stupid questions. "You told me there was a boy you fell in love with but who did not know of your love for him. You told me how every time you were in his presence your knees became weak, you became flustered…"
"Hai, I do and I apologize for subjecting you to such feelings."
"Iie, it caught my curiosity, after the others released us from the room and I punished them, I began to think of the things you told me, trying to figure out what else you had wanted to say to me. Everyday did not pass by, and I would find myself lost in contemplation of what you were telling me before. I felt there had been something else you had been trying to tell me, but were too afraid to say to me aloud, I even questioned Inui on this matter, but stopped when he took interest in the topic I broached with him."
He breathed in a deep sigh and then continued, "I was not myself during those days, and things became worse when Echizen came into the picture, I kept remembering the rumours from before, rumours that had no source and no evidence, yet filled my mind day and night, confusing me…leading me to conclusions that could not be. It was nothing like me to think on such tepid matters, but I did and I never realized why I became so interested with this matter after you spoke to me about your feelings."
Kaeru beki monogoto wo jamashiteru
Yowai jibun ni
Sayonara wo iie yo
"I did not understand then, nor do I grasp fully what I am feeling and doing at the moment but I think, nay, I am sure I understand some parts of it."
"What do you mean Tezuka-san?" She looked up at him, her heart racing in her ears, she was positive he heard it as well. Could he have finally realized what she had wanted to tell him that time long ago, did he finally realize that she was in love with him?
"Back then when you told me your feelings for that boy, I thought it was Echizen who still claimed your heart, but I was wrong." He looked down at her, his gaze warm, turning his eyes into a warm and rich amber color, "Back then you had been trying to tell me that you fell in love with me. I was the one who captured your heart, the one whom you gave your heart away to, without me even knowing it." He gave her a slightly noticeable smile, as he brought one of his hands to her cheek. "Am I correct Sakuno?"
She gasped at his touch and began to cry once her sluggish mind processed his words, and she nodded her head. He knows I love him, he knows, but I am still too weak to say it aloud for him to hear. I am too weak, my fears keep getting in the way, and my past keeps interfering with my future, with my life. She clutched at her chest and tired to open her mouth, only managing to open and shut it like a fish out of water. I cannot be weak, not anymore, not after he realized my feelings for him, I cannot live in the past and wallow in my regret, I need to change, and I need to change for the better… For him, the one I gave my heart to long ago, when we were children, and I never knew until I realized Ryoma could not love me.
"Hai, I fell in love with you after I met you again. But that was not when I gave you my heart, no it never was." She smiled up at him once more, observing the confusion is his beautiful eyes. "Without me even knowing it, I had given you my heart long ago, long before I discovered my feelings for you. I gave you my heart when we were but mere children, back then when I only loved you and my Sobo-san. You were my love outside my family; I loved you with all my heart, even though I never knew it. I always loved you, even when Ryoma entered my life; I never truly loved him as I did you. In my heart I knew this but I deceived myself into thinking I loved him with all my heart, when it was you who held me captive."
"You were the only one who ever made my knees weak at the mere sight of you. You were the only one who made my heart flutter painfully whenever you spoke. You were the only one who ever made my skin tingle and grow warm whenever you came close to me or touched my skin. You were the only who stole my breath away at the mere presence of your being. You were the only one whoever occupied my mind day and night and caused me to blush red at all times, even though others believed it was because of Ryoma that I reacted so, even when I was not in your presence or vicinity." She placed one of her hands on his cheeks and smiled warmly at him, her first true smile since her life changed. "You are the only I have ever loved, the only one I love, and the only one I will ever love for the rest of my life. Aishiteru Kunimitsu-kun, I love you and only you."
Dakishimete shimai sou sa
Sonna fuuni namida miseru kara
Nani ga okitatte
Zettai ni kimi wo mamotte ageru yo
He looked down at her and saw her tears, her tears of joy and not sadness. His embrace tightened as he brought her even closer to his chest and he smiled, buying his nose in her hair. "I feel the same as you Sakuno. I may not be able to express my feelings as easily as you or anyone else, but I know you understand what I am trying to say to you." She nodded against his chest, her tears still staining his shirt as he only held her closer, if it was possible.
Dakishimete shimai sou sa
Sonna fuuni kimi ga warau kara
Hitori ni wa shinai sa
Zettai ni kimi wo hanashitaku wanai
"Even if I cannot speak my feelings and portray them to you, I want you to know that I will never hurt you. No harm will befall you as long as I am by your side, I will not abandon you, and I will never let you go. This I promise you Sakuno."
"Arigatou gozaimasu, for everything…" She whispered to him as she leaned against his chest, placing her ear to his heart, listening to the rhythm his heart played out. At peace, she continued listening to his heartbeat, until her heart matched his in song, and she felt content being in his arms after everything she had gone through.
THIS IS MY SONG FOR YOU
Kimi no moto e todoketaiyo MELODY
"I had never seen myself admitting my love to you sempai. I had thought that I would have continued loving you in secret, even if it would have hurt me in the end. The song my heart played, I had feared, would have never reached you if I had kept silent." I would have never guessed this would have been the outcome of my actions…I had thought he would of hated me, but instead he understood my reasons and accepted my love for him. Tezuka, Kunimitsu is truly a great man…he may not speak much and he may be unapproachable with his commanding aura, his piercing gaze, and his deep baritone…but I still love him, and he loves me. I just hope that despite our differences we can make this work out and always be together.
THIS IS MY LOVE FOR YOU
Futari naraba eien ni nareru
"…Tezu–Iie, Kunimitsu-kun, do you think we can make this love of ours last? Or will we break away like so many other relationships?" She glanced up at him, with much difficulty, he was much taller than she was, and she was still pressed to his chest because of his tight embrace.
"I cannot promise you anything, but I am sure we can balance our differences and make this work, without hurting each other in the process." He responded as he looked at her and then at the sky, watching the clouds glide by and the setting sun, the sky soon becoming an array of blues, pinks, oranges, and light purples.
"Hai, I will try my best to make this work for the better and as long as possible." She smiled at him and looked at the sky as she turned in his arms, admiring the beauty of the scene they found themselves before. It seems her life was so much like the fairytales she heard as a child; she had found her prince, not a duke, but her prince, he stole her heart, and in return, he gave her his heart. This was all she could ask for now, she knew that life would throw them many obstacles and that they would have to overcome them, but she did not worry, because she knew deep in her heart that they would overcome them and live a happy life together.
THIS IS MY SONG FOR YOU
Kimi no moto e todoketaiyo MELODY
THIS IS MY LOVE FOR YOU
Futari naraba eien ni nareru
Third Author's Note: I apologize if the events were confusing and the characters were completely out of character. This is my first time writing an actual story and not some random–horribly written–poem and I tried my best to keep the characters in character…only to fail miserably. I thank those who read this and apologize at the same time. Thank you one more for taking your time to read this poorly done story and I apologize for its length and…horribleness, for lack of a better word.
Tsukiyomi Lien
Sobo-san – Grandmother (One's own)
Komban wa – Good evening
Naruhodo – I see; I understand
Koko de tomete kudasai. – Please, stop here.
Nante imashita ka? – Pardon me?
Wakarimasu – I see; I understand
Do itashimashimaste – You are welcome; Don't mention it.
Mo ikanakereba narimasen – We've got to leave.
Yamete kudasai! – Stop it!
Song Translation:
This is my song for you.
My melody that cannot reach your side.
This is my love for you
The two of us could make this last eternally
Staying like that, you don't make
any sorts of important changes to your life style
Days of regret and reflection
therefore suit you.
"If tomorrow comes, I can surely change then."
There's no uneasiness.
Things are all right now.
It seems I have no choice but to hold you
Because you're smiling in that sort of way
I'll never make you be alone.
I definitely don't want to ever let you go.
I've been searching for the rest of the words you began to say
from that day onwards, always
Rumors without roots nor leaves weigh on my mind
This isn't like me at all.
Say goodbye to
the weak me whom
gets in the way of things that need to be changed.
It seems I have no choice but to hold you
Because you're showing me your tears in that sort of way
No matter what happens
I'll definitely protect you.
It seems I have no choice but to hold you
Because you're smiling in that sort of way
I'll never make you be alone.
I definitely don't want to ever let you go.
This is my song for you.
My melody that cannot reach your side.
This is my love for you
The two of us could make this last eternally