the angel's masquerade, a naruto fanfic

i'm scared of fading away

past all my deceptions

i just want someone to love me

the angel's masquerade
by: paperbagface

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto C:
I guess this is the extended version of guardian angel, except not really.
This is a repost by request from ToXiC_pOpTaRtS.
Took forever for me to do so, but here it is! C:

even you though can't see them

the stars shine brightly even in the sunshine

because the most beautiful things in life

are the ones that are invisible

to the naked eye

Life is never quite what she expects. When she is five-years-old, her mother disappears and leaves the family behind – supposedly to elope with a lover and to be married and to be happy. When she is seven-years-old, her "best friend" leaves her behind, moving away to the greater cities because life in Konoha just isn't enough sometimes. When she is eighteen, she is accepted at Konoha University as a full-ride scholarship student, majoring in biology and concentrating in pre-medical studies. Her father is promoted to president of an enormous fashion designing business, and promptly moves to Suna, where his major headquarters is located – leaving Sakura behind in the dormitories.

Haruno Sakura is not a person that is always highly optimistic with a great outlook on life. Instead she remains secluded in her dorm room, sometimes talking and spending time with her medical mentors and her patients. Occasionally she calls her father, talking about everything and nothing as if she was a little girl again, but those are only once a week and takes only a few hours of her time. Sakura is known for her enormous amount of intelligence and her top-scholar status in the pre-medical field, rumors constantly spread about her – usually saying that she has already gained acceptance into the top medical school in the country, and that being already being the lovely Konoha University of Medicine. But, perhaps, what Sakura is better known for is her interesting choice of words and the way she chooses to live her life.

Sakura is not perfect, nor is she happy. Regardless of being a medical student, she sometimes takes out a drag and takes a few puffs; like all the other smokers, her only response is that the nicotine makes her feel really nice and it takes all her stress away. Sakura rarely eats, and if she does, it can hardly be considered a meal. Her skinny jeans always border sizes 0 or 00, and even then, the belt around her waist must be tightened to the second-to-last or last loophole to keep them from slipping. Sometimes, Sakura takes a razor and slashes across her wrists, because occasionally, her father will forget to call her and won't pick up his many phones whenever she tries to reach him. She tells her mentor and headmistress, Tsunade, that it's really okay, because she knows how deep she shouldn't cut and knows exactly how to fix them up – because she is a top medical student.

Ironically enough, Sakura hates attention. She sits in the back and corners in all her lecture classes, and takes the lab table farthest away in her labs. Sakura mumbles when she is called to the front to explain concepts and procedures to her fellow classmates, and immediately sinks to the shadows whenever she's not required. Even more ironic, Sakura attracts attention no matter where she goes; her natural, pastel-pink hair, pale skin, and bright, green eyes aren't exactly the most dominant in the human gene pool and take quite a while to be used to. Regardless of her occasional smoking, borderline anorexia, and self-inflictions, Sakura is one of the nicest girls in the university; one who knows exactly who she's not but still struggling to find who exactly she is. If you get past her self-built image, all Sakura really is, is lonely.

The day is a dreary gray, and Sakura can't think of a better day to be called into the headmistress's office. Her headphones are over her ears as she bobs her head, her fingers absentmindedly tapping to the beat on the armrest. The most recent cuts on her wrists have faded into a disappearing scab, but the scars of her past inflictions are displayed as her fingers move and move the bones under her skin. She feels the opposing side of the couch sag with new weight, and her eyes deftly move to look at the disruption in her personal bubble.

The first thoughts that run through her mind are quite jumbled and uncorrelated. First, she thinks that he has sick headphones that she needs to order online, or something, because she can tell they play a mad bass and don't ruin the sound quality at all. Second, she thinks that he's really cute – or, well, maybe even hot. His skin is the same pale as hers, and his hair is naturally spiked in the back – if she didn't think he was some descendent from the Gods, she would have thought it looked a lot like a chicken's ass. Or duck. Whatever. She sighs when she takes in the lean muscles and bone structures, because he's definitely taken by some lucky girl that flaunts her luck to the entire, female race whenever they're seen together. Talk about off-limits.

"Oh, Sakura," and she looks away from the boy to see one of her professors, Shizune, walk out of the headmistress's office, "I'll need you to assist me in the pre-autopsy lab next week. I've already spoken with Tsunade about letting you skip your internship."

Sakura smiles, because that's really all she can do in the situation, and nods.

"Okay, Shizune."

Shizune quickly leaves, most likely to prepare for her lecture class, and Sakura sighs. More attention. Her heart sags, because she can never be used to all the attention. The attention is merely for her merit and nothing for her personality; none of those students actually want to be her friend for a good reason. The fact that she's only wanted because she's a medical genius always hurts. It's one of the main reasons why she's so lonely.

She quickly opens up her extras menu on her iPod, scrolling down to check the date and time. Excitement fills her when she realizes that her father will probably call today, to check up on her, to make sure everything is okay with his only daughter. At least, she hopes he'll call today. She misses his voice and his guidance; without him, she's resulted to rare smokes and self-injury. He really was her only friend through the majority of her childhood...

"Sakura, can you come in now, please?"

Tsunade's voice booms through the waiting room, and Sakura places her headphones around her neck and her iPod in her pocket. Sparing the new boy one last glance, she stands and makes her way towards Tsunade's office. The door quietly shuts behind her.

The new boy stares at the empty space where she sat and where she walked, removing his headphones from his ears and placing them around his neck – much like Sakura did. His fingers absentmindedly tap against the armrest, and his eyes stare at all the pictures hanging on the wall. Most of them are certificates and awards awarded to Tsunade, and Konoha University of Medicine. Occasionally there are pictures of Tsunade herself, holding an award with some scholarship student or some researcher at the facilities that made a breaking achievement. His eyes widen with curiosity when there is a picture of Tsunade and Sakura. They are both smiling and holding an award of some kind. Before he can completely consume himself in artistically analyzing the unusually interesting portrait, Sakura's angry voice booms through the empty air.

"Tsunade, you know how busy I am!" She annoyingly says. "I don't have time – "

"Sakura, you will do it, and you will make time – "

"I already have to handle the internship, and handle all the work you give me – "

"Sakura, Uchiha Fugaku is an important supplier to university, and you will show his son around school!"

"He looks capable enough! I have to save lives! I have to learn how to save lives!"

Ah, Sasuke muses, like everywhere else, he is the subject of their discord. It seems he can never please anyone but the female race – and even then, the only pleasure he brings is his inherited genes. He sighs and opens the door, to find both their faces contorted angrily. It seems they could be related.

When he walks into the room, his focus is turned on Sakura. She looks at him with pity, almost as if she is sorry that she had been caught refusing her kindness to him, but her pity is not what bothers him. In the bright light of Tsunade's room – regardless of the dreary day outside of the office window – he takes in Sakura's whole form, and is surprised. Her body is slim, almost too slim to be physically healthy, and he can barely make out the scars on her wrists. Sakura's appearance is slightly disturbing only because he remembers when he was that way. It is almost as if he is looking at a mirror image of his past, only he is staring at Sakura. His mouth forms a frown, because it's a pity she's nearly a replica of his former self. He finds her unusual features attractive, past her pink hair and nearly anorexic physique.

"It's fine, Tsunade," he finally says, and his voice seems to break through an invisible barrier of glass. "As you know, I've been here quite a few times."

"No," Sakura mumbles, sparing her mentor one last glare before turning away and heading for the door. "I'll show you around. Whatever."

Tsunade smirks with victory, and says nothing. The two walk out silently, both with a glare and hands shoved into their pockets. If she didn't know better, she would have said that they should be best friends.

"You have sick headphones – Sasuke, right?"

Sasuke turns to look at her, his lips pursed in interest, hands still shoved in his pockets. He is slightly bemused by her lingo, but still finds it fitting nonetheless. He feels shivers erupt down his spine when she looks at him, with her bright eyes and unusual face. Sasuke can't stop thinking that Sakura's a completely different person inside; someone that hides behind a deception to get by in life without a sweat. But, then again, the scars on her wrists show that she's unhappy. But why? He feels like he needs to know, to know why someone like her resorts to anorexia and self-injury to release her problems.

"Yeah," he finally replies, turning away and looking forward. "And thanks."

"So, do you have a girlfriend?"

Her bluntness surprises him, and his eyes widen with amusement. She glares when she notices the light twinkle in his eye, because she knows he has to have a girlfriend. Someone like him definitely has to be taken. The world always worked that way – some slut always took the hot, nice guys. And, sometimes, by a stroke of luck, there was a really nice girl that actually deserved to go out with that hot guy. Sakura snorts at the whole idea of it all.

"What?"

"I said, do you have a girlfriend? I mean, guys that look like you are always taken by some slut – or a really nice girl that's really lucky."

Sasuke has to admit – though silently – that her interest in him is somewhat encouraging.

"No," he replies.

Sakura's eyes widen. So maybe there was some hot guy that broke all stereotypes out there. Hope. She definitely felt that hope was a nice feeling. That having some dim light shine on some of the shadows in her life was fulfilling – that maybe one day, a bright spotlight can make all the shadows in her heart disappear and she can be normal and loved.

"So you're Uchiha Fugaku's son, huh?"

"...Yeah."

"Not something to be proud of?"

"Well, are you proud of your dad being a president of a fashion designing company?"

"Technically," Sakura softly murmurs. "I'm proud of Daddy. It'd be nice if he didn't forget about me, though."

Sasuke says nothing, but he understands everything. Now he sort of understands why Sakura hides behind some sick deception; why she smells faintly of smoke, why her wrists have faded scars, and why her body is sickeningly skinny. Why she is just like what he used to be.

"Do you – uh – mind, Sasuke? I think Daddy's going to call me today."

Her soft voice reminds him of a five-year-old. One who's holding onto that last sliver of hope that her daddy will come and watch her first orchestra concert. It wrenches his heart, because he knows that that voice that she speaks so quietly and hopefully about her father is the real Sakura. The real Sakura behind her anorexia, self-inflictions, and rare smoking.

"No," he says, because he doesn't have the heart to say no – and why would he? He's not such a monster to tear away the only flicker of hope he's seen. "Go ahead."

Sakura smiles.

"Thanks, Sasuke. You're going to have to tell me later where you bought those headphones. I can't pass up the mad bass those headphones give."

Sasuke smirks, and one hand leaves his pocket to wave her off.

"Yeah. Later."

Sakura disappears, and the way she moves, he wonders if she is floating. She seems light enough to float – to have windy days push her away so she can just fly. He continues walking on, on some unknown road leading to some unknown place, but he really pays no mind. There's some gravitational pull already, and Sasuke can't help to wonder if he'll ever be some savior to her. Plus, it's not everyday that he wishes Mr. Haruno will give his daughter a call – he hardly knows her, and already he wishes her to be happy. Her faith and hope for her father is so heart wrenching that even he, Uchiha Sasuke, cold heartthrob to the female race, is moved.

Her voice is getting tired by the tenth call. She sits alone in her dormitory, her legs crossed atop her bed, her cell phone held with her delicate, slender hands. Tsunade's excused her for the entire day since she was supposed to show Sasuke around, but even Sasuke's good looks couldn't pull Sakura away from her father. The hope that maybe, he'll remember he has a daughter that really loves him and misses him, and hopes he loves her and misses her, too.

You've reached S. Haruno. I'm unable to answer your call, but please leave your name and number, and I will return your call as soon as possible.

"H – hi, Daddy! It's Sakura. I was just – just calling, to check up on you. I really miss you, Daddy, and I hope the business is going well. You – you don't have to call me back, but it'd be really nice. You haven't called me since the beginning of the year, and that was just about any – anything I needed your signature for...I really miss you, Daddy, so I hope you call me back. I love you. Bye."

She hangs up the phone and shoves it to the farthest corner of her bed. She wants to hope that Daddy Dearest will call her, but something in her tells her he won't – only because he hasn't called for the past twelve weeks or so. She falls asleep with tears staining her cheeks, and when she wakes up in the middle of the night, she hopefully checks her phone, only to be shot down once more. Sakura follows the routine from then on – a few times with the razor, patch it all up, then a walk to the garden where she can take a quick smoke. And as the smoke from her cigarette and her icy breath meet together, the fresh cuts on her wrist seem to throb, because Daddy still hasn't called her back, and it's already been sixteen hours.

He must be busy, she tells herself. He must be busy, because he has to care about his only daughter. He has to care about Sakura.

...If he doesn't care about her, then who does? Who will?

Another puff of smoke, and all her problems are pushed to the back of her mind.

Sasuke refrains from saying anything when she sits next to him in their cellular biology class. He can see the pink lines on her wrists; lines he knows weren't there yesterday. She offers him a soft smile, and it makes shivers erupt down his spine and his hands to go cold. In that smile is sincerity – the real Sakura. He wonders how it's possible for her teeth to be so white and her eyes to be so bright, but nonetheless, he likes to see these parts of Sakura sincere – the only truths in her deception. The only things that can't fool people.

"I'm – sorry about blowing you off yesterday," she murmurs. "I thought Daddy was going to call, but – "

There it is again. That sliver of hope, that innocent voice. It hurts his heart when her eyes go dull and brim with tears – how could her father forget her? Who could forget her? Who could ever forget, or even deny, those bright, green eyes that sometimes shine with hope and sometimes not?

"Don't worry about it," he finally says, and he is glad that his voice does not come out cold.

Sakura smiles again – it freezes his heart for a few moments, because it's so beautiful and so sincere, so unlike the fake Sakura everyone believes her to be – before turning away.

"Hi," a disgustingly fake, high-pitched voice calls, "You're new."

Sakura groans, and she mutters a quick, "It'd do you well to curse them off," before covering her face with her hair. She seemingly seems to disappear into the shadows, but he knows she's there, because the little Sakura inside her shines brighter than sunshine.

Sasuke sighs, and looks up to see the females in his class surrounded around his desk. It is almost disconcerting, unnerving, to have them all stare at him with come-hither eyes – and utterly fail at it. In front of him is a girl with uneven red hair and glasses that make her seem a fake-professional, with her skirt hitched too high and her shirt open too low.

"What're you doing sitting all the way in the back? You deserve to sit in the front," the redhead says, and Sasuke has an urge to puke at her utter failure at "flirting".

"Oh, Karin, come on, back the fuck off," Sakura finally says, most likely more annoyed than he was. "Or, if you can't do that, then at least succeed at flirting."

The redhead, Karin, glares at her, and Sasuke would be stupid if he didn't understand that the two were enemies. He could already tell they were polar opposites, from looks to personality.

"Excuse me, you suicidal bi – "

"Oh, don't pull that on me, Karin," Sakura interrupts, nonchalantly waving the redhead off before she has the chance to finish her insult. "You need to come up with something else. Need I remind you of the time, senior year, when the zipper broke on your cheerleading outfit during that football game, and when some genius slashed through your spandex and you didn't realize the enormous rip on your ass until – "

"Shut the hell up, Sakura! Why do you always have to be an interfering bitch? Just let me talk to – " Karin stops midway, expectantly looking to Sasuke for his name.

Sakura takes the opening, and snorts. "Mr. Hottiepants? You don't even know his name, honey. And, well, if Mr. Hottiepants objects to my interfering then, by all means Karin, try and get him in your bed like all the other guys."

All eyes turn to Sasuke, and Sakura is surprised to see his onyx eyes cold and hard.

"No thanks," he coldly says. "But if you want someone to jump into your bed, then I would put some red light outside your doorway – but, come to think, your red hair will suffice, too."

Karin scoffs at the insult and stomps away to her seat, along with the rest of the females.

"Oh, nice one, Sasuke," Sakura says, a toothy grin present on her lips.

Sasuke smirks in reply, but says nothing. A thought passes through his mind – that he would virtually do anything to see that stupid grin on her lips. He shakes his head at the annoying thought. He's only known her for two days, and already he's attracted – not to the image of deception Sakura's made for herself: the anorexia, the self-inflictions, and the occasional smoking – to the Sakura that smiles and grins and laughs with wide, bright eyes.

Somehow, the thought of saving her passes through his mind but is quickly pushed away. Save her, he inwardly scoffs. Why would he want to save her if she wants to be that way? But does she really want to be that way?

Every week on Fridays, Sasuke realizes that is the designated day for Sakura's father to call. He muses that the mysterious Mr. Haruno never calls – that every time Sasuke sees Sakura after Friday, her wrists are always pink with semi-fresh cuts against her skin.

And after three months of becoming one of her best friends and inseparable from her, he realizes it's unnerving. Uchiha Sasuke cannot stand Sakura's deceptions and self-inflictions anymore. But it's not because he's sort of fallen in love with her – no, it's because he understands her but doesn't understand why she does that.

"Why do you do that to yourself?" Sasuke finally asks her as they sit in the university café, laptop and books sprawled about them.

Sakura looks up from her medical book and frowns. She knows what he's talking about; his eyes are pointed right to her wrists.

"Why not?" She nonchalantly replies. "I know how to not hurt myself; I'm a doctor-in-training."

"Because you're hurting yourself," he softly says.

He doesn't tell her that he knows what it's like to lose hope in the world, to feel the pain of cuts all over and lose the precious will to live. He doesn't tell her that he used to be exactly like her. Those are secrets meant to share later on.

"It's none of your business what I do and what I don't do. I know how to keep myself alive, and that's all that matters," she snaps.

Sasuke frowns and sighs.

How did he sort of fall in love with her in the first place? It seemed too cheesy, too rushed, too something to be real. He just, sort of looked at her, looked past her anorexia and self-inflictions, and right into her eyes, the windows to her soul. And he saw. He saw that the anorexic, cutting Sakura was just all a lie, to deceive people to hide away her real emotions. To hide away her loneliness and shut off her hopes.

Maybe he fell in love with her because she is an exact replica of his past self.

And maybe now he understands. He will save her, because everybody wants to be saved and to be loved, no matter how serious or how hopeless a person may be.

"Sakura? Are you busy?"

His voice startles her.

"Sasuke, it's Friday. Daddy might call – "

"Let's go walk," he offers.

She stares at the white door and the barrier between them. What is he doing? She knows how heartless he is, how cold he is. His kindness is surprising and unexpected. But then again, they are the best of friends.

"But, Daddy might – "

"He'll call your cell phone, and that'll be in your pocket. Let's just – go walk."

His voice is desperate, and his odd desperation is frightening. She slowly opens the door, her eyes wary. Sakura is met with Sasuke's relieved, onyx eyes; she feels that she can't deny those eyes – those eyes that are usually so cold and so mysterious. Shoving her cell phone into her pocket, she closes and locks her dormitory room.

"Let's walk then," she softly murmurs, but the weight of her cell phone remains heavy in her jeans.

Sasuke offers a small smile – to which she is surprised – and offers his large, pale hand to her. Sakura's eyes widen, but take the invitation nonetheless; static temporarily shocks her skin, but she shakes the feeling off. She confusingly stares at Sasuke's back as he leads the way through an unknown path, and is surprised that she never noticed the fading scars on the backs of his arm before.

"Why are we doing this, Sasuke?" She asks, shrinking from the attention of the students' confused gazes as she and Sasuke make their way through the halls, hand-in-hand.

"Because it's Friday," he says, his voice final.

Sakura clamps her mouth shut, if grudgingly so, and drags along behind him. The scars on his back seem to shine brighter in the light now that she's noticed them, and somehow, she thinks that she understands just a little better.

Every Friday, the two would go out on walks, around campus, somewhere. They would talk, laugh, smile – walk hand-in-hand and forget that life isn't what people expect. They would go out to the university's café, and Sasuke will coax her into eating something – a slice of bread, a granola bar, anything, and she'll eventually comply, and suddenly remembers what it's like to have food in her stomach and more energy to run.

Sakura doesn't realize it, but Sasuke is slowly mending her. Her thin, anorexic body begins to gain more fat and muscle to make up for her disorderly habits. Her wrists bear no new scars, only the fading ones of the old. Her eyes are brighter and her lips are constantly formed in a smile.

Slowly, Sasuke is saving her.

Sasuke knew going to Suna would be a bad idea. After Sakura pleaded for him to accompany her to finally visit her father, Sasuke packed his things for the weekend and they took the train together, arriving at Suna's train station a few hours later. After a long night's rest, they promptly shower and fix themselves up, and Sasuke is glad Sakura is shying away from anorexia and her eyes are brighter – because she looks so pretty and her deceptions are fading away. Now she's becoming the Sakura she's hidden away for so long, with the hopeful, bright eyes and sincere smile.

But when they arrive at the corporate office, he knows that her deceptions will return and maybe, he won't be able to save her.

"Daddy?"

Her soft, hopeful voice seems to echo throughout the entire office. There are three voices in his corporate office – almost like it is a happy family, with a bright little daughter and loving parents. His heart twists because he has a hunch that it won't end well. That there is a happy family and Sakura will break beyond repair.

The door opens, and he almost finds the truth too blinding. There is a gorgeous, little girl running around the office, her long, pale brown hair whooshing behind her, her gray eyes shining with happiness. Her mother, a slim, pretty woman with cropped, brown hair, watches with a content smile on her face. And there, sitting at the desk, is Mr. Haruno, his bright, green eyes shining. Sakura's eyes.

"O – oh," Sakura quietly murmurs, and Sasuke's heart breaks because her voice is drenched with sorrow.

Mr. Haruno's eyes widen, and Sasuke feels the urge to punch the president in the face for hurting Sakura that way. For forgetting her and letting her fade away into her deceptions.

"Sakura?" Mr. Haruno confusingly asks.

"H – hi, Da – I mean, President Haruno."

Her lips form a fake, forced smile. Sasuke can see the tears brimming at her eyes.

"I – all this time, I – I thought you were b – busy, President Haruno," Sakura continues, her voice gradually breaking. "I – I thought that of course you wouldn't forget your Sakura a – and you were j – just busy..."

Tears fall from her eyes, and Sasuke wants to move to wipe them away. But Sakura stops his right hand from moving by grabbing it with her own, and he feels her cold fingers press against his palm. The urge to punch her father returns, but he remains emotionless nonetheless, stuffing his free hand into his pocket.

"W – well, Sakura," Mr. Haruno finally replies, his wife angrily glaring at him, "Sakura..."

"I – I guess I'm glad you're happy," she manages, her voice breaking into tiny, quiet sobs. "I won't call again. I promise."

Mr. Haruno says nothing, and Sakura takes this as her invitation to finally leave her father – to run away from his new, happy life, because she is uninvited and unwelcome. Goodbye. Her cold fingers untwine with Sasuke's, and she quickly turns and breaks into a run, her cropped hair bobbing unceremoniously around her face, and she disappears in the shadows. Sasuke turns to follow her, but looks at the president with a sideways glare.

"Mr. Haruno," his voice coldly hisses, "To think you're the reason why Sakura's anorexic, a smoker, and a person who relies on cutting herself. I hope you're happy – I hope you drown in happiness, actually."

His onyx eyes narrow in a menacing glare, and finally, he turns and runs after Sakura, worryingly calling her name through the empty hallways.

She never would have guessed how much her heart hurt. It seemed to be stabbed by a million knives covered with large grains of salt. It seemed as if a million bullets were shot right through it, then a million needles poking in and out and sewing her wounds back together. So much pain.

Her cheeks were stained with tears, stray pieces of her hair sticking to her skin. Her usually bright eyes are now dull, red, and puffy. Her long, slender legs are pulled to her chest as she lies in the hotel bed, her face half-shielded by the pillow. So much pain.

A silver razor is held in her hand. It nearly feels unfamiliar in her hands, but when she feels the immense pain in her heart, it feels like it belongs there. There are already two small slashes on her wrist, a tiny flow of blood already escaping past her skin. She brings the razor to her skin for another cut, but is promptly surprised by Sasuke's quick hand pulling the razor away.

"Sakura, you brought this with you?" He incredulously asks, throwing the despicable contraption in the trashcan.

"I just, just..." She quietly begins but trails off. She doesn't know.

Sasuke sighs and immediately goes to the bathroom, pulling out disinfectant and bandages, before returning to her and sitting beside her on the bed. Without permission, he gently takes hold of her hand and wipes disinfectant across her small cuts before placing a band-aid there. His hands do not leave hers, and his warmth temporarily erases all her pain.

"Don't do this again, Sakura," he quietly pleads. "I'm here. Don't go back to – to that."

Her eyes widen in surprise, but immediately narrow in anger. She tries to tear away from his grip, but Sasuke will not give. He won't let her go.

"What makes you think you understand? That I can just stop doing something that makes me feel alive?" Sakura spits out. "I hate people like you – people who think you can relate when you really can't. Let me go!"

"Stop it, Sakura!" Sasuke coldly says. "What makes you think I don't understand? What makes you think that I don't know what it feels like to lose all my hope? You don't know anything about my past. I'm here because I care about you. I'm here because I want to be here. I'm here because I'm going to help you – stop trying to pull away from me – because I was just like you before."

Sakura's eyes go cold with anger and frustration.

"You don't know, Sasuke! It hurts so much! I don't even want to live anymore! I just want to take up a smoke and blow away all of life's problems, to make myself feel good so life will just go away!"

Fresh tears fall from in her yes, and Sasuke softens. One hand remains around hers, still strong against her resistance, but his other gently swipes away her tears and the stray strands of hair stuck to her cheeks.

"Don't be so afraid, Sakura," he gently murmurs, his free hand remaining to cradle her face. "Your father isn't the only one who cared – cares – about you. I do, too, and I'm here."

"But I can't just stop, Sasuke," Sakura sobs. "It reminds me that I'm alive. I can't."

Sasuke's lips form a frown and his eyes soften.

"Please, Sakura," he desperately pleads. "Please, just don't do it again. I'm here. I'm here."

Sakura's resistance returns and she violently attempts to pull away.

"Stop it!" She yells. "You're just like them – those people that believe all my stupid lies! You're just like them! You don't understand! You just want me to fade away, f – fade away in this stupid image I've made for myself!"

Sasuke's temper cracks and he stands up in a fit of rage. His eyes are narrows and his lips are formed in a sarcastic smile. If Sakura was not being so stubborn, she would have been terrified. He looked murderous.

"You think I don't understand?" Sasuke angrily yells. Without warning he pulls of his shirt and turns around, his back facing her. "You think I don't understand with – with these scars on my back?"

The scars there are horrendous and numerous. Painful. And Sakura finally understands.

"You think I don't understand?" He says again, but his voice has died down to its usual coldness. "Do you know how much these hurt? How much it hurt when my father belted me because he blamed me for my brother leaving and betraying our family? I loved my brother more than he did, and it hurt, Sakura. It really hurt. So don't say I don't understand. Don't, because I do. I really do."

Sakura's heart wrenches with regret. To think she could be so selfish, so stubborn. She sits up from her place and reaches out for him. Her fingers touch his scars, and he flinches at her cold touch. They run across the places where his inflictions have left a permanent bump – the result of his body patching up the wounds too deep to remain as simple scars. And she feels the pain and the anger left in every scar.

"I'm sorry," she quietly murmurs, tears falling from her eyes. "I shouldn't have said those things. I'm sorry."

Sasuke sighs and kneels on his knees. Sakura opens her arms and he leans into her stomach, his arms loosely wrapped around hers.

"Then please don't cut yourself again," he murmurs. "I understand. I really do. Just don't hurt yourself again."

"I – I can't guarantee anything, I guess," she softly replies, running her fingers through his hair.

"It hurt to look at, Sakura," Sasuke admits. "But I can't say anything if you'll at least try. I won't let you fade."

Sakura softly laughs.

"I'll try," she affirms. "Thank you."

Sasuke looks into her eyes to see them brightly shining – the eyes of the little Sakura that shines brighter than sunshine. He smiles and slants his lips over hers.

Her pain is temporarily erased with the feeling of his lips over hers. Her heart beats frantically, her stomach swirls with butterflies. She feels like she's in a euphoria that the best cigarettes can't compete with, that she's just taken a shot of ecstasy. Her world shines brighter, more chambers of her hearts revealed to the blinding light.

She's changing.

The Sakura that Sasuke first met has nearly faded away. Her size 0 jeans fit her like a charm, her arms and legs filled with healthy muscle that makes her slim but toned. Her pale face is no longer a ghastly shade, but now shines with some porcelain luminescence that makes her even prettier than before. Her bright green eyes are always shining and her rosy lips are always formed with a smile – so long her savior, Uchiha Sasuke is there with her.

And with her always he is.

Life is never quite what she expects. Out of the blue comes Uchiha Sasuke, a boy with the sick earphones and some god-like body. Ironically, the boy she doesn't want to show around becomes her best friend. He becomes her savior – her reason to live and her reason to not return to the life she used to rely on.

And now – life really is a bitch.

"Charge!"

Beep. Beep. Beep.

"Charge!"

Beep. Beep. Beep.

The heart monitor beeps ominously on. Is it too slow? Too fast? Her heart beats rapidly against her chest as she remembers.

It was a beautiful night, with the stars twinkling brightly on the blanket of onyx sky. It smelled fresh and sweet – what it smells like after the freshness of the rain, and his sweet-yet-spicy scent is intensified and she feels like even nicotine can't compare. That her own drug has been in front of her all along and she was just too hooked on her deceptions to realize it. The fireflies were out, shining brightly in the meadows as if they were floating stars in the night.

It was all so perfect.

"It's all so beautiful," she gently murmured, and he squeezed her hand because there was hardly a moment in their life when they weren't holding hands.

He smiled and pulled her closer to him, chastely kissing her before releasing her from his spell.

It was so serene, so perfect. It was as if this was the last stop of her deceptions – that after tonight, her deceptions would all fade away and be buried away in the grave of the fireflies.

But then God, a bloody murderer appeared. And Sakura immediately pulled herself in front of Sasuke, taking a shot to her arm. But the stupid, bloody murderer was out for Sasuke, and he was going to get it. So another shot, and it hit Sasuke square in the chest. Close to his heart.

It seemed that her deceptions – the very deceptions that Sasuke helped to destroy, the deceptions that Sasuke saw through to see her, the Sakura crying out for just a little love – weren't the only things that were going to be buried in the grave of the fireflies.

"Sasuke!"

She sat beside his bed, her hand holding his, her head buried at his side. Her eyes are puffy and dull from all the crying she's done, but after the reassurances of the doctors, he would make it out okay. They've saved him, and he would make it out okay after all his body's healing finishes.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke," she quietly murmurs to his slumbering form. "I wish I could've saved you like you saved me – wish I could have been your angel in disguise. I really love you, Sasuke. I'm sorry you had to – to almost die. I'm sorry I used to doubt your understanding of me. I'm sorry for everything – for being some cold, stubborn bitch in the beginning that only cared about her Daddy calling her and people to feel sorry for her. But I'm thankful, Sasuke. You saved me. You saw through my stupid anorexia and my stupid cuts. I really love you. I love you. I love you. I'm sorry."

She is surprised when his fingers weakly press against hers in response. His eyes slowly flutter open, and slowly turns to face her, a weak smile on his lips.

"Don't be sorry," he weakly says. "It's not your fault."

Tears fall from her eyes and she gently squeezes his hand.

"But I am sorry, Sasuke. You – you almost died. What would I do if you did? I would live with s – so many regrets. Regrets that you didn't know how I really felt – that really, all along, I just wanted someone to love me when I was a stupid anorexic and cutter. I just wanted someone to love me and save me so I knew I was worth it."

He chuckles at this and softly squeezes her hand once more.

"I know," he says. "How many times do I have to say it? I understand you – in the past, and even now. So I did what you wanted – "

"No," she interrupts, "You've done so much more, and because of that, I – I – "

"I disagree, Sakura," he playfully says. "I only did what you wanted, and you don't owe me anything. I saved you, and I loved – love you. All you can do in life is move forward. Walk down a road with no regrets because you have all the time in the world to fix the mistakes you've made."

Sakura laughs, a new stream of tears falling from her eyes.

"That's the first time you told me," she shyly says.

Sasuke sincerely smiles.

"Life isn't quite what you expect is it, angel?"

She shakes her head and laughs. Her old self has faded in the sunshine, and the bright spotlight she's waited for all her life has been with her all along. All there is to do is to move forward - to welcome the future with open arms. And he will be right beside her, forever holding her hand – and they will welcome, fight, and live everything together. After all, their lives together have only just barely begun.

Anywho, thank you for reading!
Looking through my computer, I have tons of SasuSaku fanfiction that I just couldn't finish. Most of them are attacks of the plotbunnies that have long since died, so I may make a oneshot collection for them.

Thanks so much for reading, and I hope to post updates/more stories soon!