Lunar Antics Chapter 1
By LaurieMoon
'Shit' thought Jordan aloud. 'What the hell was I supposed to be doing..?' It was a rainy morning outside and Jordan had drawn the short straw and been delegated shopping duty – with the Prime Market as Wingdom's only story where else could he go. Jordan stared blankly at the aisle, unable to remember a single thing of what the Guildies wanted. Then it all came flooding back with resonating shouts he had heard earlier on
'Chicken nuggies!' cried Kazeru,
'Apples, APPLES.' screamed Laurie while throttling Jordan by the shoulders.
'I will require another box of your finest cereal Sir Jordan, post-haste.' enquired Renshin trying to keep a genteel image despite cereal crumbs across his chest and some minor milk spillage leaking down to his crotch.
Jordan began regretting coming into the market without a basket as he needed a fair amount, not to mention the rest of the guild's supplies. Suddenly one dangled down right in front of him held up by none other than the much taller, older and wiser Shot. Best Friend Shot had come to save the day!
'Don't go thinking I'm your best friend or anything for coming to help you out' said Shot smugly. Jordan thanked Regular Friend Shot and took the basket from him
'What else to we need? It's all a blur to me as far as I can remember' said Jordan.
'I remember something Original said about mass-gain suppliments so he could gain more muscle' said Shot 'but knowing him that will backfire…and Keshir-I mean, KENshiro wanted Speckled Glowfire Cakes..?'
'Speckled CRYSTALfire Cakes' corrected Kenshiro who had just swooped in with his massive wings.
'What is that anyway? Asked Jordan 'I don't think they stock it here…'
'It is a Dragonkind Delicacy' stated Kenshiro 'You don't need to know what it is or concern yourself with it.'
'Well you're the one who wanted it…' mutted Shot
'I came here to tell you not to get it, although it looks like you both haven't started getting anything.'
'It's not our fault everyone shouted what they wanted at once!' interjected Jordan.
'But it is your fault you didn't make a shopping list.' Replied Kenshiro pulling out a piece of paper.
'Ooo! Gimmie!' cried Jordan
'You guys call yourselves Luminaries?' asked Kenshiro
'Oh yeah, well what about you Ken, not helping fellow guildies out, huh?!' said Shot snatching the shopping list from Kenshiro.
'I am…' said Kenshiro 'but we're not the only ones doing the grovery shopping.' Shot and Jordan's eyes widened upon hearing this. 'Laurie sent out another group of three to do the shopping and me and Shot were send to help you.
'Uuh..Oh yeah.' Said Shot in realisation 'It was Laurie who sent me here.' Kenshiro facepalmed and continued on through his hand
'The last group to bring food supplies back will lose their favourite food from the selection for the next month.'
'Not my biscuits!' shouted Jordan
'My pizza slices too!?' chimed in Shot
'and no Speckled Crystalfire Cakes for me, however, that is no longer part of the list as you can't get it here.'
'Wait!' cried Jordan 'Does the other group know that those have been removed?'
'Nooo…' replied Kenshiro
'We should hurry and get the last item then!' cried Shot inspecting the list
'Yes, I took the courtesy of gathering most of what we need before I got here.' said Kenshiro to the puzzled-looking Jordan. Jordan peered behind Kenshiro's wings and noticed an almost full basket of groceries.
'Oh wow, good job Ken.' Said Jordan bitterly as he cast aside his empty basket.
'The last thing on the list is…Oh Kenshiro! You like to eat this as well don't you?!'
'No Shot.. I don't eat that.' Said Kenshiro.
'Well! Not all the time, but you're a wolf so-'
'-No I'm a dragon, Shot.' Jordan glanced over at the shopping list and could see the only text not crossed out reading "dog food"
'That's probably for SpotPup' said Jordan between laughter.
'Then this isn't good; Spotpup is on the other team' said Kenshiro 'So he knows exactly where it is and must already have it – their team is three and I was gathering all of these alone until now; Speckled Crystalfire cakes is the last thing on the list and once they know that they don't actually need it anymore they'll be ready to finish and…' Kenshiro spun around suddenly coming eye-to-eye with Skepy standing with one leg raised, mid-walk to the end of the aisle. Immobilized the three watch Skepy process what had just been said.
'I'm telling.' Whispered Skepy before sprinting out of view
'He's on the other team! Don't let him report to the others!' screamed Shot. 'Jordan! Go and get the dog food, we'll handle Skepy!'
'Aw, but I wanna 1v1 Skepy.' Groaned Jordan
'There's no time Jordan! Listen to Shot!' shouted Kenshiro. Jordan ambled off dragging his feet along the floor while Shot and Kenshiro hurried off to gain chase.
With a swift nod Jordan took the basket and ran off in the other direction while Kenshiro and Shot gave pursuit to Skepy. Passing through the toiletries aisle Kenshiro exploded with a puff of black smoke and was suddenly armed with the Yatagarasu Crow attire 'I'll fly on ahead and grapple him, then you can take him down!' With Shot keeping up with Skepy and Kenshiro now accelerating beyond both of them Skepy looked behind him the moment Kenshiro soared down and tackled him in place. 'Okay Shot, now!' Shot skidded to a halt and busting out his Combat Operations Radiotransmitter cried 'Gillman! Now!' Out of nowhere Gillman buzzed over in a gigantic helicopter with a content expression on his face and without warning or any sense of direction began firing endlessly. Bullets rained down on Kenshiro and Skepy who flailed backward in a fiery inferno and lay unconscious.
'Uuuh, oops.' Said Shot aware of his mistake. Meanwhile Gillman flew off waving and showing his teeth in a poor attempt at a smile to Shot, believing he had succeeded in doing what he was supposed to do.
Several aisles smashed along, finally knocking Shot over hard on to the floor. Jordan who had found Spot eating endless quantities of dog food had begun fighting when Spot refused to share any to be brought back to the guild room for eating later.
'The food is for YOU anyway!' pleaded Jordan emerging from the piles of torn toilet paper.
'That's not the point! I'm hungry nowwwwwww' moaning Spot
'HOW DARE YOU!' with an almighty chop to the neck Spot fell and was unconscious; Moko stood behind him as he fell to the floor 'Kathy will be furious to see what you've done to her precious Prime Market!' Moko turned around and noticed Jordan in shock 'He was my teammate, but this makes it better now don't you think? A 1v1 Finale?'
'I actually wanted to 1v1 with Skepy though…' replied Jordan sadly.
'WELL TOO BAD! Let's go!'
'STOOOOOOPPPPP.' Moko and Jordan turned around whilst an apple crunch could be heard along with a spoon hitting china and crispy mouthfuls of golden batter. LaurieMoon, Renshin and Kazeru stood at one of the checkouts at the very end of the story, Kazeru and Renshin with full baskets in hand.
'Wait! My basket!' Cried Moko. Sure enough he and Jordan hadn't realised their own food baskets had been taken from under their noses.
'The reason I had you guys compete was so I could get the guild food quicker – and also so we could have double quantities for everyone!' grinned Laurie as if proclaiming an announcement to a loving audience – however only Moko and Jordan watched while Spot and Shot lay unconscious amidst the toilet paper and Kenshiro and Skepy burnt to a crisp.
'That's a horrible thing to do!' yelled Jordan 'You made us fight each other, Kenshiro said you wouldn't give any food to the losing team for the next month!'
'Hahaha, of course I said that, I wanted you to work harder!' chortled Laurie 'Speaking of Kenshiro, I actually have some special order of Speckled Crystalfire cakes to give to him? Where is he?'
'More on topic…' said Moko 'You can't pit us together and get away with it.'
'Unless I get to 1v1 Skepy.' said Jordan 'If I get to fight him I'll be okay with this whole-'
'Jordan! Just, shoosh…Laurie, you won't get away with this.'
'What's the problem,' replied Laurie 'we all have out food, no one will miss out for a month, in fact we have double food now I might add.'
'This isn't about US or OUR food. Our actions orchestrated by you have destroyed Kathy's Prime Market and she's going to be quite upset.' Renshin and Kazeru looked at one another and shivered.
'Is Kathy really that scary?' said Jordan noticing the two.
'Yes shit is' said Moko
'No, she isn't…' butted in Laurie 'Kathy will shout at you, sure. But that's nothing compared to…'
'Everyone knows who Laurie fears most.' Said Kazeru 'Kathy can be quite scary when she's mad but she has nothing on the one who is obsessed with the Prime Market most of all.' Suddenly the ground beneath the group's feet tremored and as gravity had divided into itself the group's legs buckled and seized up.
'Oh god, he's seen what we've done!' squealed Laurie. The massive uncharacterised eyes leered on all of them 'Prudent Customer is upon us!' The Prime Market's most invested customer and loyal enthusiast had seen the destruction of the Prime Market made by Lunar's members.
'We've gotta go guys, WE'VE GOTTA GO.' Screamed Renshin. Jordan fell to his knees under the pressure of the customer's gaze as he advanced slowly upon them, fuming with rage, teeth clenched and foaming around the mouth. While everyone fell closer and closer to the ground Jordan quickly glimpsed at hope – Shot's Combat Operation Radio transmitter. Stretched his arm out as forcefully he could against the gravity shift Jordan gripped down tightly on to the communicating button and without pulling the device closer to his head screamed;
'HELP US GILLMAN.' Completely unaffected by the gravity influx Gillman plunged down from the Helicopter and threw down several ropes connected to the ship. Managing to shuffle aside slightly, Jordan, Moko, Laurie, Renshin and Kazeru quickly held on to the hands of those who were unconscious and reclaimed the baskets of food then grabbed hold of the ropes from the Helicopter. As the helicopter began to ascend the effects of the customer's gravity reduction began to wear off and the group started to feel like they were literally flying through the air. Laurie looked down and blew a raspberry at the Prudent Customer but quickly didn't look so tough when he was squeeling at having toilet paper thrown up towards him by the continually raging customer.
'Woohooooooo! We escaped from that customer!' cheered Kazeru who dangled around dangerously from underneath the Helicopter
'Hurry up and climb inside Kazeru, it's not safe!' called Laurie who along with everyone else was now inside. 'If it wasn't for Jordan calling from Shot's radio transmitter we'd still be down there getting the shit kicked out of us. I can't imagine what that would feel like under that gravity pressure.'
'But ultimately if it wasn't for Gillman being on support we wouldn't have gotten out' smiled Renshin.
'Woo! Lunar is on top!' said Laurie celebrating 'Time to head back to the guild room, get these guy's treated and restock our fridges and cupboards! Take us back Gillman!' Gillman from the cockpit fully engaged with steered the helicopter turned only his head a perfect 150 degrees
'Which guild are you guys from, again?' Everyone else in the helicopter turned to look at each other confused. 'I serve all guilds.' Continued Gillman.
'Umm..Yeah, we're Lunar.' Said Laurie.
'Oh right, cool…Where is your guild room.' Laurie had absolutely no idea and simply sighed
'Lunar is not on top…'