Title: My swan princess
Summary: Deidara dates Hinata for sixty days to prove he likes girls but it leads to something more.
Genre: Romance/Humor
Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto©
Chapter 1: Girlfriend wanted
"For the last time underclass mate Tobi I'm not gay! Un!" Deidara shouted irritably.
"Quiet Yamanaka! This is a silent exercise!" shouted Danzo-sensei; the shady Art teacher of Kohana high school. It was rumored that the crotchety one eyed man did prison time some years back but every time someone would ask him about it, he would change his story.
"I ran over Paris Hilton's dog"
"I spray painted over the Lincoln memorial"
"I was set up by a Drug Lord crossing the Gulf of Mexico"
"I killed a man with my pinkie" and on and on. After the 28th story accumulated people decided just to leave him alone…
"Hai, un. Sorry sensei" Deidara mumbled an apology, looking back down into his text book. From the corner of his eye he saw Tobi snickering at him. Deidara felt his eyebrow twitch. Little shit….Always trying to piss him off.
Tobi had caught Deidara staring at Itachi Uchiha (the half-blind man-whore as Sasuke referred to him) and automatically assumed he was in love with him. However if Tobi had looked a little closer he would have noticed the creased eyebrows, the clenched jawbone and the burning look of absolute abhorrence in Deidara's eyes. But no his mind was already adorn with Deidara and Itachi skipping through a sunflower field, holding hands and making plans for their elope to Boston.
Tobi took out a scrap piece of paper and scribbled down a note. He folded it like a football and flicked it between Deidara's eyes. Bull's eye. Deidara sent Tobi his best 'I'm gonna smutter you in your sleep one day' look before opening it up.
Admit it! You love Itachi Uchiha! Tobi had written with a stick picture of Deidara 'on top' of Itachi.
Deidara reached across his desk and smacked Tobi across the head. "SICK TEME! I HATE ITACHI UCHIHA! I HATE HIM!!!" he snapped.
"Yamanaka, ISS now!" barked Danzo from his desk.
Tobi looked triumphed.
"Fuck, un!" Deidara cursed as he stood up. He shoved his textbooks in his messager bag. Before he walked out the classroom he mouthed to Tobi, 'You're dead'.
Tobi only snickered in reply.
—PAGE BREAK—
The bell for A lunch ranged. Students from the sophomore and freshmen classes were swarming the hallway.
"Deidara you bum! Loan me five bucks for lunch!" demanded a bratty voice. Deidara sighed as he came to abrupt stop. The bratty voice belonged to adorable baby sister, Ino Yamanaka. He turned to face her. Ino was in her sophomore year and the junior captain of the cheerleading squad.
She held up her hand to him. "Well? I don't got all day"
Deidara's eyebrow twitched. In the Yamanaka household the word 'loan' technically meant 'give'. Little gaki…if he didn't give her what she wanted, she would throw a fit and go home telling his dad and stepmom some sob story so there will be hell to pay later. To spare himself more pain, Deidara dung into his pant's pocket, pulled out a crumbled five and handed it over to her.
Ino wrinkled her noise. "Eww it's dirty got a better one?"
"Get lost" Deidara said.
Ino huffed and went about her way. She rejoined her pack which consisted of Sakura Haruno and a few other prep girls.
Suddenly Deidara noticed the looks some people were giving him as he passed. Some were of disgust, others fascination and the very few lust. The ones that eyed him like candy were disturbingly male…Damn you Tobi! That baka made it his civic duty to spread around the false rumors concerning his taste.
Traveling by the Junior's hallway on his way to the ISS room he passed by Sai going through his locker, Danzo's favorite pupil because his love for traditional Asian styled paintings.
Sai looked up at Deidara with a sincere grin. "I didn't know you swing that way, Deidara-kun. It's nice to know. I always wondered what size your dick was. Want to know mine?"
Deidara felt like he was going to faint. "Hell no, fag!"
Sai shrugged indifferently. He closed his locker and threw his messager bag over his shoulder. "Your loss" he said with a falsely cheery smile before walking pass a sickened Deidara.
—PAGE BREAK—
Deidara rolled his eyes before entering the ISS room. In School Suspension was so lame. The class was monitored by an administrator named Ibiki Morino. A former POW, he had retried from the Army a few years back and was decorated in battle scars.
"Deidara Yamanaka, fancy meeting you again. This is the third time this week" Ibiki said writing his name down. "One more offense and its official school suspension for you"
"Yeah, yeah" Deidara said. He walked to the back of the room and sat at a table with another guy, a fatso, who was munching on potato chips. The boy looked at him nervously before picking up his stuff and moving up a few tables up.
"Why are you moving, Akimechi?" Ibiki questioned the boy.
"I just prefer not to sit by a gay, it makes me uncomfortable" Choji responded.
Some of the other students in the room turned to look a Deidara with their mouths hanging open.
"I'm not a homosexual! Un! I like girls!"
No one looked like they believed him…
Deidara face turned red from humiliation and aggravation. 'That's it! In order to clear my name I gotta get a girlfriend!'
He reached into his messager bag pulled out his sketch book. Not to draw but making a list.
Konan Origami/ year: Junior
Sakura Haruno/ year: sophomore
Tenten ???/ year: Junior
Temari Sabaku/ year: senior
Hana Inuzuka/ year: senior
Matsuri ???/ year: fresh meat
Ayame Ichiraku/ year: junior
Hanabi Hyuuga/ year: fresh meat
Karin ???/ year: junior
And the weird white eyed chick/ year: ??? Junior?
Hmmm…Deidara began to decipher his choices.
Konan Origami sadly was marked off the list right away. Icy hot but was Pein-sempai's girl.
Sakura Haruno, the cotton candy haired prep that never shuts up. Always pestering that little prick Sasuke Uchiha. And why would he do anything in his power to relive the Uchiha of the daily torture he received from this number one fangirl? With a smirk Deidara erased her name.
Tenten... Bun Bun is more like it. Besides endorsing Mickey Mouse with her hair style, she spent the rest of her time in flag football squawking dreams about men and women playing as equals one day in professional sports…why did he even write her name down?
Temari Sabaku is hotter than school lunch and knows it too. Captain of the Flaggers team, what a babe…too bad she has a mentally disturbed isonomic brother on depressant pills… Speaking of Gaara they were currently not on good terms …
Hana Inuzuka is hot but nerdy. Always has her head in a zoology book. Main Problem: Her brother Kiba Inuzuka and that equaled FLEAS!
Matsuri, tolerably cute but one word: Gaara….stupid deranged raccoon
Ayame Ichiraku, the most normal girl out of the bunch but all she talked about was ramen, ramen, ramen! She could fill the school library with her talk on deep fried noodles in salt water! Sure her dad own his own chain of noodle carts but c'mon! Un! She and that annoying gaki Naruto truly deserved each other. Main reason for dismal—He HATED RAMEN DAMMIT!
Hanabi Hyuuga is a snotty baby faced brat. A freshman skipped several grade levels because of her smarts. Too young to date thank Kami. Reason number two, Neji Hyuuga. An arrogant asshole—no need to say more…
Karin the four eyes is kinda smart but quirky. Is also a Sasuke stalker—total turn off. Caught her breaking into Sasuke's locker and stealing his boxers form the boy's locker room. Also seen her picking up Sasuke's trash and putting it in a zip lock bag for keepsakes…even worse; seen a Sasuke voodoo doll in her book bag. Hope her hex works…heh, heh.
The weirdo with white eyes…don't know much about her…quiet outcast that always got her nose stuck in a book. Wears a huge coat and huddles in the back of the classroom. Usually has her book bag hiding her face. Un…hmmmm….come to think about it—she has the same eyes as the Hanabi-gaki and Neji-baka… are they related? Fuck!
With a defeated groan, Deidara slammed his head into his desk. Total defeat. Sure there were other girls in Kohana High but they were even more annoying than the one's listed or they were total sluts. Is it so hard to find a good woman for a month?!
Suddenly the door to ISS creaked open. Someone stepped inside.
"Name?" Deidara heard Ibiki ask.
"A-a-a-an-no…I…"
"Speak louder girl!"
"Hi-hi-hina…H-Hinata H-h-Hyuuga, s-sir" she stuttered pathetically.
'Hyuuga, huh?' Deidara shot his head up at hearing the name. Moving his golden locks from his face he saw…her, the white eyed weirdo. 'So that's her name, Un'
Ibiki nodded and scribbled her name down. "Take a seat" he pointed to the open chairs. "The rules are simple. Sit down and keep your mouth shut. The school bell doesn't dismiss you, I do. Do you understand?"
Hinata nodded her head feverishly. Timidly she walked down the aisles to the back table were Deidara was sitting and sat down a chair away from him. She took out a manga book named Kami-chan and began reading. Deidara was unable to take his eyes off her.
Now that he see her up close he had to admit she wasn't bad on the eyes but her hair was combed down in front of her face making her look like a shaggy dog. The only thing that stood out was her weird eyes. Eyes like glass….hmmm
Deidara ripped out a clean page from his sketch book and wrote down. So how did you get sent here, cutie? he slid the paper over to her. But she failed to notice. Deidara cleared his throat loudly. No response. He drummed his fingers on the desk. She turned the page of her graphic novel. Deidara 'psssed' at her. Ibiki narrowed his eyes warningly at him.
With a scoff Deidara sulked in his chair eyeing Hinata. 'There is a world around you, you know, Un' He balled up a piece of paper and chucked it at Hinata's head.
"Huh?" Hinata looked up as the paper ball bounced off her face. She looked over at Deidara with a scared look.
Deidara tried to give an encouraging smile and winked.
Hinata's face flushed. She glanced to the right, making sure he was eyeing her.
Deidara broke eye contact and looked down at the sheet he tried to pass to her earlier. To his delight her eyes followed his. He edged the paper closer toward her. Catching his drift Hinata brought the page closer to her. She read his question.
Hinata went from a lovely shade of pink to scarlet. 'C-c-c-c-cutie?!' she looked up back at him. Deidara motioned for her to write her response. Slowly Hinata reached into her backpack and pulled out a hello kitty pen. She wrote her response and slid it back to Deidara.
It read: I got caught reading in Anko-sensei's Health class again…it was my third warning so she sent me here…you?
I was framed he wrote back.
Hinata blinked. ?
Someone got on my last nerve and I freaked, Un!
Hinata looked up at him nervously. So ano…what's your name? I think you're Ino's brother right?
Yah, Unfortunately. I'm Deidara. AKA: the black sheep of the Yamanaka family Deidara smirked.
Hinata smiled sadly. I guess we're one in the same…
Deidara raised his eyebrow. Meaning?
Hinata stared down at the paper a long time before responding. I well…I'm a black sheep too. My family doesn't like how quiet I am…
Deidara could put two and two together. The other two Hyuugas he knew acted like they had trees trunks stuck up their asses so they must think Hinata is a total pushover because of her shy nature. Really? Being quiet is a blessing. Look at my sister Ino, you can't shut her up, Un!
Hinata giggled. Deidara decided she had a cute laugh. With a sincere smile Hinata wrote back, Thank u, Deidara
No prob. Can I ask u something?
Sure
Deidara took time to scribble a piece of artwork on the paper before sliding it back to Hinata. Hinata gasped aloud when she saw it. It was a cartoonish sketch of Deidara kissing her cheek. Hearts were floating above their heads. Under the drawing Deidara wrote: Hinata-chan, will you be my girlfriend?
Deidara was expecting the Hyuuga to stutter an answer or ask time to think about his sudden proposal; he did not however think she would pass out cold.
"Oh Fuck, Un! Hinata!" Deidara shouted as Hinata fell back, off her chair unconscious. He barely caught her in time before her head collided with the tile floor.
TBC?
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