A/N: Oh man, I wrote this for a fic request (which I never finished, FFFFFUUUUUU-- sorry requesters) that asked for Suigetsu/Sasuke forever ago. Forever. Ago. Like, back when Team Hebi was still shrouded in mystery and everything about Suigetsu made my eyes sparkle with joy (secret: it still does, even though I haven't touched the manga since he first appeared coloured). I don't know why I didn't post this before, probably because it isn't amazing, life changing, not full of anachronisms, etc. BUT I'm posting it now. Because it's cute, and I need more fluffy crack on this account. So enjoy!
Disclaimer: I couldn't handle the amount of crack I'd have to do to write Naruto. True story.
Not beta'd, sorry for any eye sores!
"How long has it been?" Karin asked irritably.
Juugo sighed, pulling back his cloak sleeve so he could hold his digital watch up to his face for the fiftieth time that afternoon. "Forty-six minutes and twenty-three seconds, exactly one minute since the last time you've asked."
After today was over, Juugo swore he'd revert back to using sundials just so he'd never have to look at a clock again.
"What the hell is taking them so long?" Karin snapped as she crouched in front of the thick wooden door, alternatively brushing back her hair to press her ear flush against the wood and squinting into the key hole to try and sneak a peak at the two figures inside.
It wasn't that she was obsessed or anything, she was just--um... concerned! Yeah, that was it! She was just concerned about what that over-sized water balloon might be doing to Sasuke-kun! Especially since her dark-haired prince was still recovering from his fight with the giant, attractive (wait, was it possible for a bomb to be handsome?), blond-haired Akatsuki explosive.
So clearly, her motives were purely in the best interest of her teammate.
And Suigetsu called her a stalker. If only he knew how lucky Sasuke was to have her.
"What could they possibly be talking about for this long?" Karin growled as she pressed her ear against the wood again, looking like she was trying to become one with the door. She could still feel their chakra inside, so at least she knew that Suigetsu hadn't done something stupid like taken Sasuke to a bar to try and 'loosen him up' again. The first and only time that'd happened they'd found out that Sasuke was quite the angry drunk about one leveled bar too late.
"I don't think they're talking," Juugo mumbled as he eyed the door, earning himself a sharp, viper-like stare.
"Of course they're just talking! What else would Sasuke-kun be doing with that asshole?" Karin hissed, narrowing her eyes at him.
"Well, Suigetsu did say he was interested in 'big swords'..." Juugo offered, wisely choosing not to elaborate further.
Karin looked mortified at first. Then she just looked like she wanted to make another peep hole in the door with his head for even suggesting something like that.
"WHAT?!" She squawked as she adjusted her glasses in outrage, "Why would you even say something like that?! I thought Suigetsu was the pervert, but you're just as sick as him!"
Juugo watched as the red-haired konichi started pounding on the door, throwing all previous attempts at stealthy spying out the window.
"Suigetsu! Get the fuck out here in the next three seconds or I'll shove our sorry ass into a glass and put you in the sun until you evaporate! I'm counting! Three... two... one. You've been demoted to toilet bowl water! Suigetsu! Come out. Now! Suigetsuuu!"
Juugo sighed. He turned his back on her and looked at his watch once again. Fifty-two minutes, twenty seconds.
Well, at least the two of them had stamina. Suigetsu was going to need it when Karin got a hold of him.