A/N: Let me preface this by saying that the first few chapters go rather in depth with my Shepard's personal background history. I'm doing this because a lot of what happened on that fateful day completely shaped her, and I feel that the background is vital to truly understand and empathize with this particular Shepard. I promise that this fic isn't purely a pre-service history rendition; as I said, it just complements my Shepard and makes her real, makes her unique, and expands the cookie-cutter early history glimpse we're given in-game.
Secondly, this was inspired by a short story I had created based off of the Colonist background. But the Shepard in what was supposed to be a short piece kept speaking, insisting that her tale was not yet finished, and thus, this behemoth was created.
The short, italicized bits at the beginning of the chapters are present day; what follows are the past events leading up to the present. I'm sorry if the continuity or time-frame seems confusing.
And lastly, the disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effects, its lore, its characters, or Shepard - they all belong to BioWare. I'm nothing more than an avid fan with too much of an active imagination for her own good.
Reviews, feedback, and constructive criticism is always appreciated.
So kick back, relax, and I hope you enjoy my story. Hope you'll venture on this journey with me :)
-razz
A loud, incessant ring buzzed throughout the young woman's head, causing her head to pound with renewed vigor. The deep laceration on her brow burned with intensity as each and every pound of her heart throbbed throughout her skull. Through hazy vision, she saw an obscure silhouette racing through fire and smoke to reach her. It was shouting something, the words lost on her deaf ears, and she strained to stay standing long enough for it to reach her as she tried to will her aching, damaged body to fight the cloaked stranger.
It could be another batarian, come to finish her off before salvation wrapped its loving fingers around her fragile, broken frame and pulled her into the safety of its embrace.
She brought her pistol, glistening with the deep crimson of fresh blood, up unsteadily in front of her.
Don't hesitate. Never hesitate. You hesitate, you die.
The memory of the words resounded louder than the shrill whine reverberating in her eardrums, and she tried to find solace in those short, little sentences. Her index finger waivered on the trigger, and she attempted to force herself to pull the trigger, to put an end to her pursuer's advances.
Don't hesitate. Never hesitate.
She had to keep going, had to stay strong, had to fight to live. So many people had died today, lost to the depravity of batarian ire, murdered to fulfill some unspoken threat of retribution for crimes committed by other humans: militaristic humans, political humans. It wasn't their fault; they were nothing more than a mere farming colony, harvesting crops and shepherding cattle.
But not anymore. It was gone, all of it gone, because of the sadism of the monster barreling towards her right now.
You hesitate, you die.
She pulled the trigger.
The springtime breeze ruffled the leaves that topped the swaying branches of the tall trees, creating a symphonic chorus of nature and calmness. The brilliant robin's egg blue of the sky complemented the calming green of the foliage that painted the landscape. Trees stretched out to touch the vast expanse above them, ferns and vines stole their way up the tree trunks, begging to bask in the sunshine that was stolen away by the canopy of leaves.
Avery Shepard loved being a colony kid – Mindoir was easily one of the most beautiful human settlements in the entire Milky Way. It was a simply society; most families inhabiting the town were farmers and lived complacent lives, content with their separation from the rest of the galaxy. The colonists kept to themselves, and they only contacted the Alliance or its affiliates a handful of times per year when they were ready to send out another shipment of the goods they'd produced. They didn't bother anyone and no one bothered them – they were nothing more than a mere blip on the radar.
Avery had had a rather privileged upbringing; her parents worked persistently on their farm, cultivating the best crops and livestock, and brought home a fair income. Most of which was used to finance Avery's extravagant tastes and sophisticated, top of the line education at a private high school, whose tuition shamed many Universities on Earth. If only her parents were savvy to the fact that Avery Shepard was a shameless truant, cutting class and skipping school brazenly, uncaring of the consequences, aloof that her parents were squandering their money, funneling their funds into an institution that Avery hardly stepped foot in.
She was charming, exceptionally intelligent, and devious – a downright dangerous and lethal combination. The young woman had a flair for the dramatic, a touch of renegade to her persona, and she often found herself on the brink of disaster as she tested her limits, dancing dangerously on the edge. Punishment was a foreign concept to her, penalties and ramifications inconsequential as they played virtually no role in her life. Whatever shenanigans or tomfooleries she was caught performing were quickly forgotten as her parents swooped to her rescue, simply swiping their omni-tools to quickly nullify any fines, wiping clean her pristine record, only immaculate due to her parents' distinction and reputation. What couldn't be erased by Mommy and Daddy, Avery could easily handle on her own, adorning her award winning smile and apologetic mien as her sparkling green eyes appealed to her superior, eventually winning over their mercy and dodging any reprimand.
School was an unnecessary waste of her time: sitting in a classroom for seven hours, listening to the drawl of teachers as they spoke dispassionately about uninteresting subjects that were lost to the students' memory the moment they walked out of the building doors.
No, cutting class with her best friends was a much more appealing alternative.
"Avery! I really don't think we should be doing this… what if someone sees us? You know we'll be in so much trouble if we get caught… skipping class," Avery's friend nagged, breathing the last two words in a harsh whisper, as if someone nearby might hear the blasphemous phrase and turn in the truants.
Avery rolled her eyes and sighed, eventually settling her gaze on her frazzled friend, blond hair draped around her heart-shaped face, framing her plain features in a flattering manner. Her eyes shifted uncomfortably, surveying the environment around them, as she tried to spot any possible witnesses to their horrifying crime. The fear and tension radiating from her was almost palpable.
"Marie, really, you need to calm down. I've already told you – it's not a big deal; no one is going to find us. Everything's gonna be fine. Tell her, Jazz."
A small giggle erupted from a third girl, Jasmine, better known by her moniker Jazz, a raven-haired beauty with a tall, slender frame, dark eyes twinkling with laughter at Marie's obvious discomfort. She rummaged around in her large purse and procured a worn package of cigarettes. She deftly flipped the top open, gave the pack a firm shake, and a single cigarette snaked out to bare its filter. Bringing it up to her mouth, Jazz clamped her lips around the tanned end as her free hand found a lighter and sparked the flint. The tobacco lit up with a bright orange glow, the embers glittering as she deeply inhaled.
Jazz peered down at Avery, a brow raised in question as she tilted her pack towards her friend. Avery eyed the flimsy package as she gnawed on her lower lip, vacillating with the undeniable urge to feed her addiction or finally commit to kicking the habit. She'd only considered for an ephemeral moment before gruffly reaching her hand out and snatching a cigarette from the pack, promising herself, for the umpteenth time, that this was absolutely her very last cigarette. Jasmine smiled her approval as she leaned over and held the lighter steadily in front of Avery, lighting her carcinogenic indulgence.
"Seriously, girl, you really need to chill. The more you freak out, the more likely you are to get busted. The hard part is done; you snuck outta class with no problem. Now all you gotta do is enjoy your newfound freedom!" the smoke left Jazz's mouth in wisps as she spoke, dancing in the air before dissipating.
Marie groaned her displeasure, fanning at the smoke laden air that hovered in front of her face. Her nose scrunched with disgust as she turned her head, gasping for untainted oxygen.
"Would you kindly move your cancer stick downwind? Those things will kill you, you know."
Jazz leered at her with mock surprise, placing a dramatic hand on her chest as her eyes opened wide with feigned shock. "You're kidding! I had absolutely no idea that smoking was bad for my health! Thank you, Marie, thank you so much for opening up my eyes to the dangers of smoking. What about you, Avery? Did you know that smoking can kill you?"
Avery smirked as tendrils of smoke exited her nostrils, "News to me."
Marie shook her head with disapproval, knowing this was an argument she'd no hope of winning. "I don't see how you guys can relax! This is absolutely nerve wracking. I can't believe I let you guys convince me to do this… it's awful," she whined as she rested against the stone wall, letting her head fall back onto her shoulders.
"It's for Avery's birthday! Her sixteenth birthday. The baby is finally all growed up," Jazz shot Avery a quick wink, an unspoken apology for the small jab at Avery's age, nearly two full years younger than her peers. The dark beauty sat above the other two girls on the edge of stone wall, legs dangling as she alternately kicked her feet out, and she toyed with loose rubble and rock. She took another deep drag of her cigarette.
Marie looked up at Jazz and gave her a pointed look, the irritation plainly etched on her features. "Her birthday was over a week ago, Jazz."
She shrugged. "We never celebrated," she said as she tiled her head back, directing the exhalation of smoke to the sky.
Avery leaned casually against the wall, legs crossed at the ankles, as she idly thumbed a stray strand of mahogany hair, twisting it into a braid, uncoiling it, and rebraiding the same segment. There was a pregnant pause between them, each lost in their own reveries and thoughts.
"So… what do you guys even do when you skip?" Marie finally seemed to lose some of her edge, her shifty eyes settling down, the awkward tension in her frame evaporating.
Avery lazily shrugged her left shoulder as she continued to stare intently at her braided strand. "Depends. Usually we just kinda hang out; sometimes we meet up with the guys if they're on shore leave."
A devious smile spread across Jazz's pouty lips, "Say, Avery… Speaking of Alliance boys, isn't Jeremy back in town for a few days? I hear he's ridiculously cut after all his physical training. Y'know, there's just something about a man in uniform that just gets me-"
"Shut your damn mouth, Jazz. He's my brother, for God's sake! You're absolutely not allowed to sleep with him – I will murder you myself. That's just so… so… so disgusting."
Avery's face contorted with repulsion at the thought of her best friend and her older brother having sex. Sure, Avery realized that her brother was considered to be of the attractive variety, and his service with the Alliance only served to add to his appeal. She'd grown up in his shadow, watching disdainfully as girls swooned over her older brother, and she frequently fell victim to predatory girls who feigned friendship in order to ease their way into Jeremy's bed.
She hated her older brother sometimes and lamented the fact that he was back in town, turning heads and breaking hearts. Avery puffed on her cigarette as she fought away the angry memories.
Mindoir wasn't home to many Alliance soldiers – most of the citizens who were born there stayed there to tend to the family farms; the ones that left were usually the valedictorians with incredible ambitions who ventured to the Citadel.
Jeremy had become something of a legend around Mindoir, one of the first strapping young men to enlist with the Alliance, quickly rising up in the rankings and on target for elite training. There was a rumor running around that he even had potential for Spectre candidacy; the Alliance was buttering him up and preparing him for the years of arduous training that would put him in the running with several other young recruits, each of them considered as the best humanity had to offer.
All the fawning over her brother nauseated Avery and caused her to resent her brother for his accomplishments and tireless diligence.
Jazz held her hands up in surrender, momentarily halting the sway of her feet.
"Hey, now, I didn't mean anything by it. I'm just saying. Your brother is kinda hot, Avery." She snubbed out her cigarette on the stone before flicking the wasted butt onto the ground.
Marie piped up bashfully, "She's right. He's drop dead gorgeous."
"Man, if only he weren't your brother… the things I would do to that man…"
Avery smacked Jazz's leg hard with her hand, pushing it forcefully back into the stone. "I'm warning you, Jazz, shut the hell up about my brother before I-"
A shrill scream pierced the air, silencing her idle threat, rattling the ebb and flow of the wind as it swarmed around the trio. Startled by the unexpected sound, Avery jumped and dropped her burning cigarette. Goosebumps instantly rose on her arms, rapidly descending on the rest of her body as an unnerved chill swept over her. The cigarette died out, suffocated by the dense grass, as the three girls waited silently for some sort of indication, some sort of follow up that would explain the terrorized cry.
An eerie silence hung heavy in the area; birds silenced their chirped songs, leaves settled their harmonious dance, and even the air seemed to hold its breath, fearful of the cause of the sound.
A thunderous boom roared out, quickly diminished by the sound of a second blood curdling shriek that reverberated between the trees, echoing off of the stone wall Avery leaned against. In a whirlwind of long charcoal hair and bronzed skin, Jazz leapt off the ledge, landing with a loud thud on the grass adjacent to Avery.
"Holy shit! That was a gunshot, a goddamned gunshot!" Jasmine whipped her head to the side, tendrils of her hair flying in front of her face as she looked around, expecting to find something horrible surrounding them.
Avery jerked her body free of the wall and stood rigidly as a cacophony of gunshots rang out, followed by a wallow of screams. Without speaking, the three of them edged along the wall, treading to the end so they could peer over at the epicenter of the sounds. Dread washed over Avery as she realized the sounds stemmed from the direction of her school, maybe a half mile away from them. Jazz stopped and curled her fingers around the edge, carefully sticking her head out to observe the pandemonium.
Avery saw her friend's body still, a sudden statue paralyzed by the sight that fell before her.
"Jazz... What is it?" Avery questioned her friend. She remained silent, as if she hadn't even heard Avery speak. Jasmine swallowed audibly, and Avery noticed the slight tremble in her slender frame. "Jazz?"
"Avery… the school… it's… it's… burning."