Chapter 1: Rescue Mission

It only hit him while they were walking home, safe between Karasu and Kuronue. My God… what the hell did we just do!? Yoko stopped in his tracks and stared in speechless horror at nothing in particular.

Kuronue turned around. "What's up, fox?"

"D-did we really just do that, or was I dreaming some horrible dream?"

Karasu growled. "Oh it definitely wasn't a dream…" he purred, leaning against the wall. "It was quite real…"

Yoko laughed thinly. "Damn. What the hell has happened to us? When and how did we sink so low!?"

Kuronue raised an eyebrow. "How low is 'so low,' Yoko? 'Cause we were never real high to begin with…"

"Low enough to—to even just walk in there, never mind actually—" the fox stopped to glare at Karasu, who was rolling his eyes. "Demons we may be. Thieves we may be. Insanely sadistic psychos—" Karasu made a small noise of objection—"we may be. But I had thought we were all intelligent enough to overcome our most basic primal instincts!"

They both just stared at him, obviously at a loss as to why Yoko felt so guilty. The fox snarled in disgust and flitted away. Karasu made as if to go after him, but Kuronue held him back.

"He'll be back. He just needs to blow off some steam."

Yoko paced the dirt floor of his little hide-away, furious guilt etched into every line of his body. The three-chamber den was cunningly concealed behind a larger cave and almost impossible to notice unless one knew it was already there. How can they not…! I don't understand how anyone could do such a thing and walk away without feeling any guilt at all! It's impossible. God I can't believe we did that… I can't believe I did that. I thought I was beyond that level of…of…primitivism.

The fox sank to the pile of blankets that littered the floor and rested his head in his hands. I don't know if I can even live with myself if I don't do something. Damn… but what can I do? No one's gonna listen to me, no one important enough to do something about it, at least. Maybe if I could break in…

Suichi cursed to himself as he missed the meager meal that passed for dinner yet again. He followed an Overseer into the long hall, hands at his sides, eyes lowered, the paragon of obedience. He hated himself for it. But he knew there was nothing he could do. He k new he was trapped here, possibly forever. The thought almost brought tears to his deflated green eyes but he held them back. Any sign of emotion was severely punished.

The redhead flinched as the cold water hit him and washed away the blood that had been trickling down his body. Suichi knew better than to move or cry out as he was harshly scrubbed with a coarse brush until he was clean and raw. His back was on fire, and it hurt to walk but he followed the Overseer soundlessly and let him tie his arms behind his back and chain his ankle to the wall before smirking suggestively and leaving.

As uncomfortable and hungry as Suichi was, he slept, knowing that these few short hours were all the time he would have to do so.

Yoko crouched motionlessly in the tree, waiting for the lights to go out and the activity to cease in the building before him. His heart pounded in his chest and the adrenaline surged through his body like it always did right before a theft. The fox waited for the last few customers to leave and the clerk to go back inside before moving at all.

Like a shadow he landed on the roof, not even the slightest tap of his shoes would betray his presence. He noted with a smirk the open skylight, cracked just enough to let in the cool night breeze.

And enough for a thin vine.

Yoko marveled at the ease with which he was able to open the skylight and drop silently inside. He followed his nose, following the scent of fear and blood and metal until he reached a heavily guarded, heavily locked steel door. The fox ducked around the corner and pulled a carefully chosen seed from his hair. With a tiny sound the deep violet flower bloomed in his hand. Yoko buried his nose in his toga and closed his eyes as the flower's poisonous powder was carried on the breeze to the guards in front of the door.

He waited a few moments more, just to be safe. Yoko peered cautiously around the corner and smiled grimly. No one would be able to tell what killed them. He picked the lock on the door and slipped inside.

Immediately he wanted to be sick. The stench of despair and pain and blood and steel and leather was so overwhelming that Yoko knew he was in the right place. He let his nose adjust and then cautiously moved forward, his sharp eyes seeking out the one whom he had hurt. Free him first, then as many more as I can before dawn or I'm discovered, whichever comes first.

Suichi jerked awake as someone covered his mouth. It can't possibly be morning already… Slowly he opened his eyes, unable to distinguish anything but a blurred outline.

"Don't make a sound and don't move." The stranger breathed into his ear. There was a tiny click, and the redhead realized that the manacle at his ankle had been severed. He groaned under his breath. Idiot…

The stranger swore as the alarm rang through the building. Suichi gasped as the far wall exploded and his mystery rescuer picked him up and raced through the gap, security not too far behind.

Yoko had a good ninety seconds' head start and made it to his cave before his pursuers could catch up. He hurriedly pushed the boy into his little hide-away and turned into his nine-tailed fox form. The fox had just managed to curl up and look like he was sleeping before they came crashing through the woods. He sprang to his feet, stared at them and slowly began to snarl, his hackles rising.

"Well they're obviously not here." One spat, backing away from Yoko nervously. "Let's just keep going." The fox used all his guilt and rage to make his snarl sound even more ferocious. The others quickly agreed.

He waited until they were all gone before backing into the cave and turning back. With a relieved sigh he crawled through the secret passage and into the first cavern.

Suichi had been listening to the exchange above him, but his heart was beating so loudly all he heard were growls and muffled voices. His arms were still bound and he was still wearing the gag that held his mouth open. Half of the manacle was still trailing from his foot.

The outline of his rescuer appeared in the little hole through which they'd come, and lit a lantern. They both squinted in the sudden light. When Suichi could finally distinguish his rescuer's face, he drew back with a tiny cry of alarm and despair.

It-it's him. It's one of the three who kept me past dinner. He probably wants me for himself. I should have guessed. I shouldn't have been so hopeful. Damn. He stared at the fox dully.

And then the fox was behind him, untying the rope that bound his wrists. He gave a little hiss, from what, Suichi couldn't tell. He pulled his arms free and massaged his chafed wrists, still unwilling to trust his rescuer. But the fox didn't touch him. He didn't do anything for a while.

Finally he got up and said, "If I get some of your hair, I'm sorry." Suichi heard the crack of a whip and tensed himself for the blow, but it never came. He felt a slight breeze ruffle his hair, and then the gag fell away, the steel band cut cleanly in two.

Suichi sat up slowly, trying to close his mouth and feeling his jaw ache as it always did when it had been removed for meals. He didn't even notice when the fox cut the chain from his foot and pulled the leather band from his genitals. The human opened and closed his mouth, trying to get his rusty voice box to form the words that ran through his mind.

Yoko threw a blanket around the thin, trembling shoulders, if only to hide the marks that were the result of Karasu's sadism. He came around to stand in front of the silent boy.

"You hungry?"

The redhead tried to work his jaw, but gave up and merely nodded. Wordlessly Yoko scrounged about for some food; it had been a while since he had been here last. He found cheese that wasn't too moldy and bread that wasn't too stale and returned, silently handing the boy the food. He ate ravenously, obviously not caring that the food wasn't fresh. Yoko watched him in pained silence for a moment before closing his eyes and heaving a sigh."

"Th-th-than-k…. y-y-you." The hoarse whisper interrupted Yoko's thoughts. He opened his eyes and stared at the redhead. There were tears in the luminous green eyes, tears, Yoko could tell, that had wanted to flow for a very long time, and couldn't. He lowered his eyes again.

"I don't deserve your gratitude." He whispered back.

The boy shook his head and tried to form words again. "I… d-don't…c-c-care….a-bout… th-that." He managed to rasp. "Y-y-you s-s-saved me." The tears came then, thick and fast, pouring down the gentle face as his abused body was racked with sobs. "N-nine ye-years." He hiccupped, his voice getting stronger with each word. "Nine years I was there. D-day aft..er day I was u-used. It doesn't m-matter to me." He stopped to try and breathe through his tears. "I- I don't even re-rem-remember my own n-n-name, b-but c-can you at l-least t-tell me y-yours?"

"Yoko." The fox whispered. "Damn… nine years." He was shaking, partly from astonishment and partly from rage.

"S-so t-tired…"

The fox looked up and kicked himself for not realizing how exhausted this poor kid was. He helped him stand, and led him into another chamber that had a small bed in it. Yoko threw him a shirt. The boy stared at it for a second and then his eyes widened. Slowly, as if treasuring the moment, he pulled it on. It hung past his knees but neither of them cared.

Yoko led him over to the bed and pulled back the blankets for him. Wide-eyed, he crawled onto it and gingerly laid his head on the pillow. The fox placed the blankets over him, and the boy sank deep into the bed, a smile slowly spreading across his face through the tears that still coursed down his cheeks.

That's the first time I've smiled in nine years! Suichi realized with a pang. Bed…I'd forgotten what it was… so soft and warm and comfortable… He opened an eye as he heard Yoko start to leave.

"P-please don't leave me alone." He cried. Yoko stared at him before smiling gently and coming back over to sit on the edge of the bed. Suichi felt much better with his rescuer there watch over him and he quickly drifted into sleep, his brain barely registering the tentative twitter of the dawn birds as they greeted the rising sun.

When he awoke, Suichi immediately noticed that Yoko had fallen asleep where he sat, falling back on the second pillow. Suddenly the fox bolted upright, nostrils flaring and ears twitching. He leapt out of bed and told Suichi not to move before dashing out into the main room and up the passage. Suichi was left alone in the bed, his heart thudding as he strained his ears. All he heard were faint screams and even fainter snarls and yowls.

Finally Yoko came back in, the front of his toga splattered with blood. "Stupid security people just don't give up, do they?" he growled, tearing the soiled garment from his heaving chest and stalking through the bedroom into the third and last cavern. Suichi heard water splashing and the fox grumbling before Yoko emerged, his toga still damp but clean.

"This is going to be a problem…" he announced after a second. "Their damn tracker's nose has led them right to this cave twice now. I'm pretty sure they'll be back. The male-spirit-fox-defending-his-cave ploy has worked so far, but male fox's only remain in one place for a day or two at a time. If I'm still here tomorrow they'll get suspicious." He sighed. "I wish we had a female with some pups… or at least the illusion…of…" He looked like he had an idea. "Of course… she might be able to…"

"Who? Able to do what? Yoko what are you planning?"

Yoko looked at him. "I need to run an errand, kid. I promise I'll be gone ten minutes at most. You can time it."

Suichi didn't want to be left alone. "Wh-what if they come back?" he whispered.

The fox grinned at him. "Don't worry. I kicked their asses into next century. The soonest they'll be back is tomorrow." He turned somber. "I promise I won't be long." Before Suichi could raise any more objections, Yoko was gone.

Yoko darted through the trees, following his nose and his excellent sense of direction. He pulled up short as he almost collided with a small woman with shifty red eyes. She smiled up at him, and the fox suppressed a shudder. She was altogether evil-looking, with skin so pale it was almost white and a curtain of black hair that fell to her knees. Two enormous green wings sprouted from her back, to couple with the sharp ivory horns on her head and the heavy, reptilian tail that swished endlessly behind her.

"Just the demon I've been looking for!" the dragon said, her voice more growl than anything. "Come."

"I really can't stay long; I made a promise to a friend of mine…" Yoko said, the hairs on his neck standing up.

She cackled. "Sani knows all about your little friend, fox. Sani knows why you have come, and she might have something that may help you."

Yoko followed the mystic a little further before they stopped. The fox could see a silver form lying in the grass. He looked at Sani in mixed astonishment and rage. "Don't tell me you captured—"

"What do you take me for, a fool?" she snapped. "I found this lovely lady and her pups lying here in the grass so I did what I could. Now that she's better she won't let me near her. She's not strong enough to find shelter for herself and her two pups and her mate was apparently killed by something. However," She leered up at him. "I do believe you have a solution, don't you?"

Yoko turned fox and came around to approach her from the front, staying in full view. The mother was tired and extremely irate, but she stood up and snarled at him, every hair on her body rising. Yoko stopped where he was and stood still, knowing that moving just one step closer would be a very stupid thing to do.

::I mean you no harm. I actually have a proposition for you:: Yoko's mind-voice cut across the vixen's maternal anger. Her hackles did not lower, but she stopped snarling.

::What do you want?::

:: There is a cave not too far from here. I have been holding it as my own but I need a reason to hold onto it longer. I am willing to give you the front part of it if you let me and a human friend of mine pass through in peace.::

She snarled at him again. ::Human!? You are keeping a human with you and expect me to let it pass through what you are proposing to be my den? It was HUMANS who did this to me! It was a HUMAN who killed my mate and three of my kits!::

Yoko remained where he sat, painfully aware of the seconds ticking by. When she had calmed enough, he said, ::He is as weak as a newborn kit and could no more harm you than this rock. Nor would he even wish to. Please, my lady, I know I cannot replace your lost mate in heart but I can hunt and defend the den as well as any.::

She regarded him thoughtfully. :: What's in it for you? Why would you offer me your home and offer to hunt for a fox and her kits that you don't even know? What is it you are omitting from your plea?::

::Protection. A safe place to hide while my friend recovers his strength.:: He answered her honestly, knowing that it was impossible to lie in mind-communication. ::It would look suspicious if I were to remain in that cave for more time than I already have been there. I need your help and I am offering part of my home and my protection in return.::

She picked one of her kits up in her jaws and turned to follow him, evidently convinced. Yoko sighed in relief; he had his alibi. Now to get back before his ten minutes were up.

::Normally I use my demon form. Please don't be alarmed if you see me as a demon and not as a fox.:: he told her as they raced back to the cave.

They reached it with two minutes to spare. She sniffed around the large front cavern, obviously pleased. ::When you said, "front part" what did you mean? I see no other part…::

Yoko fox-grinned. ::You wouldn't. That's the whole point. The back part is hidden and underground.:: He nosed aside the roots that concealed his little passage and grinned again. He switched back to his normal form and disappeared down the hole.

Chapter 2: Identity Crisis

"Nine minutes and fifty-seven seconds." Yoko's guest whispered as he emerged from the passage. Yoko laughed.

"I didn't think you would really time me." He chuckled. The fox turned serious again and said, "Come up to the front with me a moment, kid. There's someone whom you need to meet."

The human followed Yoko up the passage and emerged, raising his eyes to meet those of a very startled, very suspicious spirit vixen. He swallowed, his eyes flickering to the two fox kits gamboling about the cave. The boy did not move, apparently aware that startling the vixen even more would not be wise. When she finally pulled her eyes away from him, he relaxed with a sigh. She looked at Yoko. ::You better hope no harm befalls me or my children whilst I am here.::

Yoko knelt and stared her in the eyes. ::I swear upon my life that no harm will come to you or either of your kits in the defense, or lack thereof, of this cave. I claim no responsibility for the numerous injuries that fox cubs obtain on a day-to-day basis. If this vow is broken, then my life is in your hands.::

She looked satisfied and turned away to marshal her unruly children. Yoko ushered the baffled redhead into the back of the cave. He turned as she spoke again.

::Tell me, how do you summon your Spirit Fire if you constantly retain your demon form?::

He grinned. ::I don't have to. I am not of the fire element as most foxes are. I am earth. I am a Plant Master. It is far easier to wield my flowery weapons when I have opposable thumbs.:: He turned and disappeared down the passage again.

Suichi was irritated when Yoko had to leave again to go hunting. He was gone much longer this time, and the redhead was only slightly reassured by the presence of the mother fox. When he returned, it was with a brace of rabbits flung over his shoulder.

"I can finally produce a substantial meal for you." He said. Soon the smell of roasted meat was wafting through the little cave, the smoke drifting out through a hole in the ceiling.

Suichi stared at the food on the plate before him. He had almost forgotten there was other food in the world besides stale bread and moldy cheese. He ate slowly, savoring every morsel, and, later, savoring the feeling of a full stomach.

He slept well that night, his dreams full of a blurry image of a brown-haired woman whom he vaguely recalled calling something faintly to him. The image drifted away from him , her face receding into darkness as her voice faded with it.

"Su……i…..chi…."

The human did not recall his dream when he awoke, but he did finally remember his name. He spoke it aloud for the first time in nine years, and besides him Yoko stirred.

"Wha…?"

"M-my name." Suichi whispered. "M-my n-name is Suichi." Yoko smiled at him. His smile faltering as the redhead burst into tears again. "I can't b-believe I f-forgot my name!" he sobbed. "I don't r-remember a-anything! W-who am I, Y-Yoko? W-where did I come from? To whom was I born?"

Yoko could not answer him. "I'm sorry, Suichi. I know less than you do."

"Oh God, Yoko. Why can't I r-remember who I am? What's w-wrong with m-me?"

The fox shook his head. "Nothing's wrong with you, kid. You've been traumatized. It will come back to you, just like your name did. It may take time, but you will remember."

Suichi sniffed. "H-how can I regain my identity?" he whispered miserably. "It's not something one can lose that can be found so easily. How can I regain who I was?"

Yoko sighed. "You can't. I hate to tell you, but whoever you were is gone. You can regain a part of yourself but there will always be gaps in the person you are today. Time will heal, yes, and the gaps will shrink but they never go away. I'm sorry."

Suichi sighed and rubbed his haunted eyes. They sat in silence for a moment before the redhead spoke again. "Y-you wouldn't happen to have…b-bathing f-facilities… would you?" Yoko nodded. "May I please use them?"

The fox nodded. "Make yourself at home, Suichi. My home is your home."

Yoko was sadly listening to Suichi's yelps of pain as soap rinsed out his open wounds when shouts and snarls joined him from above. Quickly he scrambled up the tunnel.

"Nice fox… good vixen…" Kuronue was slowly backing up towards the woods, the mother fox advancing on him, stiff-legged. Yoko called to her and she spun around to face him, fangs bared.

::You said it was only you and that pathetic human. How did you manage to think-lie?::

Yoko shrugged and glanced at his lover. ::I didn't. It WAS only me and the human. I did not know he was even aware of this cave. But he is my mate. Would you please let him pass freely through your den?::

Kuronue stared at the two foxes. "Uh, Yoko, is there something you're not telling me? Like, a relationship, maybe?"

Yoko looked up. "No, Kuronue. She's here to provide me with an alibi for remaining here as well. What do you want?" He stopped Kuronue from speaking. "Wait. Karasu, get down here, but go slow and please don't startle her."

The raven slowly dropped down from branch to branch, keeping his eyes locked with the vixen's. She watched him warily but did not complain.

::Your other mate, I presume?:: Yoko nodded to her and she growled and stalked back into the cave.

"Aren't you going to let us inside, fox, now that your security guard has been pacified?" Kuronue sounded amused and irritated at the same time.

Yoko glared at them both before gruffly beckoning them to follow, leading them through the front cavern and its high-strung occupant and into his little hidey-hole. He was still quite furious at the pair of them.

Once they were settled in the bedroom, Kuronue spoke. "Fox, after you ran off we both realized you were right. We realized that we have sunk so far into disgrace as to pleasure ourselves on a defenseless human. And we both want to apologize."

Yoko stared at them coldly, mentally calculating how long it would take for Suichi to push aside the curtain between the bed and bath rooms. Finally, he said, "It's not me to whom you should be apologizing, it's—" he paused and dramatically flung out his hand just as Suichi pulled back the curtain and stepped out. "— him."

The redhead cried out in fear and shock and shrank back. Kuronue's mouth twitched. Karasu tensed. "When I heard that someone had been stolen from that place, I had a feeling I knew both whom the thief was and who was taken." Kuronue said dryly. He turned his serious violet eyes on Suichi, who shrank back even further. The bat stood and bowed elegantly, taking the human completely by surprise. "Please accept my most sincere apologies." He said gruffly.

Karasu looked at Suichi to, the look in his eyes reminiscent of those of a dog that has been caught chewing on the furniture. "'m sorry." He grunted. "I really am."

Yoko smiled thinly. "The very fact that you're apologizing at all proves that you mean it more than words ever could. Thank you, Karasu." He looked at Kuronue. "You too, Kuro. And I'm sorry I flipped out on you two and dashed off like that."

Kuronue grinned at him. "Least you could have done was invited your partner-in-crime along! You know how I hate missing out on thefts!"

Yoko rolled his eyes. "Right. Now, both of you, out! This little place was not meant to hold four people." He led his two lovers outside and to the edge of the woods. Karasu grunted a "good bye" and darted away with that same strange look on his face.

Kuronue grabbed Yoko and kissed him deeply before turning to leave. He looked over his shoulder at the dazed fox and whispered, "Come home soon, Yoko. We both miss you." The bat followed Karasu into the forest and out of Yoko's line of vision.

Suichi was still shaking in fear and rage as Yoko re-entered the room. "H-how can you forgive them s-so easily?" he whispered.

Yoko regarded him sadly. "Because I love them, Suichi." He said simply. "As much as my sense of justice wants me to, I can't stay mad at them." The fox's gaze turned sharp. "But how can you forgive ME so easily and still resent them?"

Suichi felt the tears welling up again. "Because YOU are the one who rescued me! You got me away from there and saved me from a fate far worse than death." He lowered his eyes and whispered. "And you weren't hurting me as much as they were…" He watched in disinterest as a tiny wet spot spread across the blanket.

Yoko sighed. He knew Suichi spoke the truth. "Suichi…" he finally said. "Didn't you see Karasu's eyes? I've never seen him so upset about anything before. Just the fact that he showed up here and apologized at all proves that he feels really, really bad. And Kuronue uses jokes and unnecessary flourishes as a cover-up when he's really upset." He held up a hand. "I'm not asking you to forgive them now. Just, please, know that neither of them would even touch you again, if anything because they both know I would kill them. But even without that threat I don't think either of them would hurt you." He finished his mini-speech and stared at the human's bowed head.

Suichi looked up at him and nodded. He did not, could not forgive the two black-clad demons but he would accept them if he had to. He yawned and curled up under the blankets eyelids heavy with sleep. This time, he felt Yoko crawl into the warm bed next to him instead of sitting on the edge until he fell asleep.

"NO! STOP…please…." Yoko opened his eyes in alarm as Suichi's terrified cries pierced his peaceful slumber. "Please no… no more… it hurts…stop! NNNGG!!" The bed shook as the human flailed wildly.

Half asleep, the fox pulled Suichi to him, holding his quivering form to his chest and crooning softly. "Shh… it's okay, Suichi. You're okay. It's just a dream. Just a dream, Suichi, calm down. You're safe. No one is hurting you…shhh." Slowly the redhead stopped his flailing and the cries and screams were replaced with a quiet sobbing.

It stopped…the pain stopped…he's gone. Now I just feel warm and safe…what happened? Suichi's eyes fluttered open and he looked up through tear-blurred eyes at the fox that held him loosely to his chest.

"Y-Yoko? W-what…?"

Yoko cracked an eye. "You were dreaming, Suichi." He mumbled.

"Yes, but why are you…?"

He shrugged. "Calmed you down, didn't it?" he whispered with a slight smile on his face.

Suichi pulled away. "P-please don't touch me…" he whispered back. "It-it's not you, Yoko, it's—"

The fox nodded, his smile fading. "I know. 'M sorry. I just thought you needed to be comforted or somethin' I dunno I was half asleep. Sorry."

Suichi sighed. "Just…just shout my name really loudly next time or something." How do I know that having me so close to your body will awaken your more…carnal desires? I'm sorry Yoko I just can't trust anyone on that level yet…

Chapter 3: Dirty Little Secrets

Suichi eyed Yoko warily as the fox entered the bedroom, glassy eyed and limping but with a blissful smile on his face. He edged away as the fox crawled into bed.

After a moment he spoke. "H-how can you let him do that to you, Yoko?" The six days of his freedom had done much to eliminate his stutter.

The fox's eyes cleared and he looked startled. "Let who do what?"

Suichi frowned. "Don't play dumb, Yoko. Anyone from here to the Human World could have heard you two in there…" he flushed.

Yoko laughed. "Oh, that. I let him because I love him and I want him to."

Suichi snorted. "You WANTED that?"

The fox sighed. "I wouldn't expect you to understand." He said, not unkindly. "But there's a difference, Suichi. This is… love. That was just…lust. Desire. Carnal instinct."

The redhead stared at him, eyes wide with horror and anger. "How can you still think he loves you when he hurts you like that?" he whispered, voice quivering.

Yoko opened his eyes and stared back at him, hurt and rage in his eyes. "I don't think Kuronue loves me, Suichi. I know he loves me. Everything we do is consensual. He stops if I say no; he knows my limits and does not cross them. Ever. You've only really seen the bad side of him; the wild side. He's not like that." The fox rolled over and faced the other way, signaling that the conversation was over.

Suichi stared at his back for a moment, still at a loss for how the fox could be loyal to a person who caused so much pain. They had been home for two days and Suichi had seen no sign of love as he knew it between the three demons.

Yoko heaved a sigh as hot water sluiced him clean. He was so lost in his thoughts he didn't even notice as someone slipped into the bathroom.

"What's wrong, love?" Arms were around his neck and the soft voice whispering in his ear. He leaned back into the embrace.

"Karasu…" he purred. "Nothing's wrong. Why?"

With a snort of disbelief the raven spun him around and kissed him, fiercely and gently, passionately and tenderly. Yoko whined and fell into the kiss, fell into those slender arms. He started to purr again as Karasu sat and pulled him into his lap.

"Don't lie to me Yoko. You looked so sad and pensive. What's bothering you?" Karasu's liquid voice warmed the fox even more than the hot shower did.

"I-I can't say it, Karasu. Even though I love you and trust you, I—I just know that once I say it out loud it'll be final and I'm scared it's not just my body…" Yoko sighed.

A smile flickered across his lover's smooth face. "Fine. If I tell you my secret will you tell me yours?"

"Mmm…depends on what secret you tell me. You must have more than one…"

Karasu smiled again. "How about I give you the answer to the question you're always asking me?" he whispered.

Yoko's ears pricked. "You must want to know what's bothering me really badly, don't you." He laughed. "Alright."

Karasu took a deep breath and began in a low voice. "You always want to know why I refuse to 'play rough' as you put it. You complain that I won't even fuck you too hard. Constantly you ask me why. Why I refuse time and time again even though we both know pain is my biggest fetish.

"But there's your answer. It's because I love causing pain that I refuse to do so to you. I love you Yoko. You're the first person I've ever loved and I don't want to destroy that. You don't know what it feels like to be so addicted to something it scares you! Sadism is a drug, Yoko. It's the worst drug to get addicted to and I was hooked at a far too early age.

"I've had so many lovers, Yoko. Most of whom I cared nothing about. They were my playthings, my toys, the innocent victims of my addiction. I would be consumed by the desire to hurt, to maim, to punish. And they would all beg for it, much as you do, not knowing what they were getting themselves into. It makes me sick to my stomach to think of some of the things I did to them, deaf to their pleas, blind to their suffering.

"I-I know I tortured at least three of them to death. At the time I would only feel a small amount of remorse. Now the guilt weighs heavily on my shoulders. Some of the others probably died as well, but after I had left. I lived in the haze of drug-induced screams and pain and blood." He paused to take another deep breath. "And then, I met you. You fought me, beat me, rescued me from your crazy plant, nursed me back to health, and I fell in love with you. And I knew that I couldn't bear to see you as I had seen some of the others: a crumpled, broken, bleeding, dying, sobbing, pathetic lump. That's why I refuse to hurt you at all. Because I know that once I start it is very, very difficult to stop." His little story finished, Karasu looked at Yoko.

The fox huddled into Karasu's arms, all the more terrified of and attracted to the raven. Karasu hugged him and kissed his neck, simultaneously stroking the fox's silver hair.

"Yoko? I need you to promise me something. If you ever see a look—you'll know it if the gods forbid you ever see it—I need you to promise me this."

The fox interrupted him. "What, that I'll turn and run for my life?"

To his surprise, Karasu shook his head. "No. I want you to promise me the contrary: That you won't run. Running will make me chase you, which will make me irritated, which will make the whole thing worse. I want you to stay right where you are and beat the crap out of me before I can touch you." Yoko stared at him and would have started laughing if his lover didn't look deadly serious. Karasu kissed his head. "If the fighting itself isn't enough to clear my head, then a full-force punch from you certainly is." He grinned at Yoko. "There. I told you my dirty little secret, now you tell me yours."

Yoko bit his lip and stared at the white porcelain.

Karasu sighed. "Fox, you'll feel much better if you get it off your chest. I know it's cliché but it's the truth. I do feel a lot better now."

"I know. I was just thinking that it doesn't come anywhere near the scale of what you just told me." Yoko sighed. "I-I think I've fallen in love with Suichi. But I'm afraid to tell him because I'm afraid he won't believe me and just think that I'm trying to get him into bed and I'm not even sure if that's not the truth and I don't want to hurt him and I don't think I could take it if he didn't believe me." He said hurriedly.

Karasu stared at him. "That's it? You're agitated because you're in love with Suichi? Damn I thought something was really wrong!" his smile faded. "But I can see why you're bothered by it. Do you love him enough that it might be worth taking the risk of just telling him?"

Yoko shook his head. "I would tell him… I have no problem with telling him… it's just that I'm scared he won't believe me… that he wouldn't trust me to not just be trying to get into his pants."

"Yoko, why wouldn't he trust you? You rescued him from that place, you fed him, sheltered him, and clothed him, you slept in the same bed with him every night and never once tried anything, and you've treated him as a friend and as an equal and tried to cheer him up when he gets depressed. Why the hell wouldn't he trust you?"

Yoko shook his head. "But if he didn't—"

Karasu hissed in impatience. "Ifs and buts, fox. Ifs and buts. How will you ever know the answer if you don't just go tell him? If he doesn't believe you at first then big deal, he'll eventually realize you do love him." His eyes softened. "I know you're scared of rejection Yoko. We all have our weaknesses but how can we overcome them if we let them overcome us?"

"Damn it, Karasu! Why do you always have to make so much sense?" Yoko sighed dramatically. He got up and turned off the water, feeling the raven's eyes on his back as he stretched.

"Suichi? Suichi could you wake up for a moment? I need to talk to you."

The redhead cracked an eye and stared at Yoko. He looked anxious and kept biting his lip nervously. "What is it, Yoko? What's wrong?"

The fox sighed. "Nothing's wrong Suichi. It's just that I-gods I love you so much I really mean it Suichi please I need you to believe me I wouldn't lie to you about something like this I swear I'm not just trying to get you into my bed I really do love you and I don't even care if you love me or not, it would be nice but as long as you beli—"

Suichi cut off his endless tirade. "W-why wouldn't I believe you, Yoko?"

Still nervous, the fox didn't seem to hear him. "—believe me I really don't care if you love me just please don't think I—wait, what?" He blinked and looked at Suichi, who had started laughing. "What did you say?"

"I asked why you would think I wouldn't believe you!" The redhead finally said.

Yoko shrugged. "I don't know, maybe you would think I was just saying that so I could—wait, does that mean that you do believe me?"

Suichi stared at him indignantly. "Of course I believe you. I'm hurt that you would think I wouldn't!" He squealed as Yoko pulled him into a hug. "Yoko… I just realized that that's the first time I've laughed in nine years… thank you."

The fox laughed himself. "I'm just so relieved… I was so scared you were gonna run off and hate me because I was trying to use love as an excuse to fuck you."

Suichi sighed. "Yoko… I couldn't even tell you if I love you back or not… I'm all so jumbled! It's been so long since I've felt anything but pain, despair, helplessness, hopelessness… that now all the happiness and comfort and joy and all those good feelings are so tangled together I don't know what's what!"

"I don't care, Suichi. As long as you don't hate me I'm happy." Yoko mumbled, the stress he had been under, combined with the sudden relief had worn him out and he was drifting off to sleep.

Suichi smiled and le the fox keep his arms wrapped around his smaller frame as both quietly drifted off.d

Chapter 4: Dreams of Truth

Her face was so much clearer this time. He could see the desperation in her eyes as she called his name, and he could see the tears streaming down her face. But she couldn't see or hear him, even as he sat in the car right next to her. He could only watch as she drove slowly through the city, pinning up posters with his face on them and asking people if they had seen him.

::HERE! I'm right here!:: he tried to communicate but she couldn't hear him. She only blinked and shook her head, her eyes tearing up again.

Now he watched as she slowly replaced the phone on its cradle, sinking onto the sofa and beginning to cry. The tears turned into sobs.

"My son… my only son… where are you? Come home! Please come home… I know you're still alive! I don't care what the police say I know you're still alive somewhere. Come home!" As she spoke her surroundings began to focus, and he vaguely recognized the living room and kitchen beyond. The woman sobbed loudly. "Please come home, my darling Suichi…"

His eyes widened. ::MOTHER!! Mother, I'm here! MOTHER! MOTHER!::

"Mother!"

Yoko opened his eyes. Suichi was sitting up awake and wide-eyed, staring at the dirt wall. "What?"

"M-mother…" he whispered. "H-how could I have forgotten my mother? How could I have—oh my ­God!" the redhead looked at Yoko miserably. 'It all just came rushing back. I had a dream and everything just suddenly re-entered my memory!"

"I can take you home if you wish." The fox said quietly, not liking the idea but knowing he had to put it out there. "I can take you through to the Human World."

Suichi's eyes lit up. "Y-you mean I could go home? I'm not stuck here?" he quieted. "B-but how? I thought demons were all some big secret."

Yoko smiled. "We were…up until about four years ago. Now there are guarded portals between both worlds. You can go home."

His delight would not return. "What would I tell her?" he whispered. "How could I explain a nine-year absence?"

An idea struck Yoko. "Suichi, you—you said you are the only one to ever escape, right?" Suichi nodded. "Don't you think the rest of the humans would be furious if they found out? Furious enough to petition the leaders of the Makai to stop it?" Once again, Suichi nodded, looking pensive. "Tell your mother the truth. Get hold of the newspeople and tell them the truth. Tell them everything. If this were to get on the air on national television…"

Suichi caught Yoko's eyes. "Y-you'd be there with me, right? I don't know if I could do it without you…"

The fox hesitated. He hated human cities. The noise, pollution, smells, and lack of anything green made his skin crawl. Eventually he smiled. "O-of course, Suichi. I'll be there."

"When should we leave?'

Yoko shrugged. "If we left now, we could get there at around 2 A.M. Makes all the more of an impression if you show up on the doorstep at some insane hour of the morning."

Suichi laughed. "You are such a drama queen, Yoko. I have no objection to leaving now, but what about you? Shouldn't you tell Karasu and Kuronue?"

He shrugged again. "It's not unusual for one of us to disappear without explanation for a while. I'll deal with them when I get home."

The two of them lurked in the woods, out of sight of the guards. Yoko sighed.

"The only way to get through that portal without being subjected to hours of questioning is to go through so fast they don't even realize what hit 'em." He looked at Suichi. "I'm gonna have to carry you." Suichi nodded and Yoko picked him up, carrying him as if he weighed nothing, and dashing past security so fast they didn't even notice.

Immediately as they entered the portal, Suichi could feel the pressure. Yoko put him down but kept a hand on his shoulder. "The sheer power put into this barrier is enough to kill a human in a fraction of a second. That's why all humans who cross must have a demon guide keeping physical contact at all times." They passed through the eerie space in silence.

When they were close enough to see the human world at the end of the portal, Yoko picked Suichi up again and darted past the even more oblivious guards. Safely outside the building, he set him down again, his fur rising involuntarily as his lungs came in contact with the foul air of the city.

Suichi cried out and huddled against Yoko, his breath condensing in the icy winter night. Dressed only in a pair of cotton pants and a t-shirt the human was ill-equipped for the sudden cold. It was summer in the Makai. Yoko had quite forgotten that the seasons were backwards here.

It was just their rotten luck that snow began to fall, thick and fast, as they walked. Suichi laughed bitterly. "I u-used t-to l-l-love s-s-sn-now." He chattered. "B-but I c-c-can't-t s-say I l-like it t-t-too much r-right n-now." Suichi looked at Yoko, who didn't look even remotely chilly. "A-aren't y-you c-cold, Y-Yoko?"

"Not really." He said. "It gets much, much colder than this in the Makai winters. This is like late autumn weather for me." The fox looked over at Suichi. "Do you know where we're going or are we just randomly wandering?"

The redhead nodded. "I r-remember-r m-my a-a-ad-d-ddress so I c-can t-tell where to g-g-go f-from h-here." His teeth were chattering so loudly Yoko could hear it. "Th-thankf-f-fully it's n-not t-to f-far…"

Yoko laughed and wrapped an arm around the human's trembling shoulders. Suichi pressed close to him, drawing warmth from his lean frame. They ignored the stares of the few stragglers out at half past two in the morning."

"H-here w-we are." They stopped in front of a tall building. "Th-thankfully there's n-no d-d-doorman." Suichi pushed open the doors and gratefully stepped into the heated lobby, sighing in relief as the ice melted out of his hair to make a puddle on the floor. Yoko shook the frozen snow off himself and followed his friend to the elevator.

With trembling fingers Suichi pressed the button and they waited in silence for it to arrive. Trancelike, Suichi moved down the hall, his eyes fixed on the door at the end of the corridor. He reached out and pressed the doorbell. When nothing happened, he pressed it again.

This time they heard a thin, tired voice call, "Coming." Suichi stiffened.

The door opened a crack and an eye was visible. It suddenly widened and the door opened the whole way. The woman was frail looking, with wispy brown hair and eyes of the same color. They were wide with disbelief and shock.

"S-Suichi?" she whispered.

Suichi smiled. "Yes, mother. I'm home."

With a cry she flung herself at the redhead, bursting into tears. "Suichi… Suichi… Oh God I had thought I'd never see you again! I'd given up hope, I—what happened? Where were you?" she ushered her son inside almost closing the door in Yoko's face. Suichi caught it at the last minute and let him in.

"Who is he?" The woman cried, staring at Yoko in horror.

"Mother, it's alright. He's with me." Suichi took her hands in his. "Yoko is the sole reason I am standing before you right now. He's my best friend mother. It's okay." The redhead looked at Yoko. "Without him I'd still be trapped."

His mother nodded slowly and looked at the fox. "Your name is Yoko? Then thank you, Yoko-san, for bringing my son home!" She bowed, tears threatening her eyes again. "I am Shiori."

Yoko returned the gesture as the glow of the slowly rising sun turned the fresh snow a pale pink.

It was cold. He opened his eyes and stared at the blanket of white stretching endlessly before him. More of the icy flakes blew down from the sky in an angry swirl, and the freezing wind cut him to the bone. Suichi stood and started walking, knowing that to lying still in the snow is a dangerous and stupid thing to do. On he staggered, fingers, ears, and toes numbing. It never ended. The snow kept falling, and the land stretched before him, unchanging and unwavering. Everything was white: the sky and the Earth were indistinguishable. He didn't know which way was up. It was so cold. He fell to his knees, unable to go any further. The ice soaked through his thin pants and burned his legs. Slowly he began to cry, the tears freezing on his cheeks. It was so cold. The whole world was frozen and he was the only being of warmth.

Footsteps crunched through the snow. Suichi turned, and saw a figure of white, hardly visible against the blinding storm. The wind blow his long hair into a silvery halo.

Suichi's eyes widened. Behind him the snow was melting, and the grass seemed to grow beneath his feet as he advanced through this winter wonderland. Suichi hauled himself to his feet and stared at this god of warmth. His gold eyes were salient against the white of his hair and clothes and the swirling white cold. As he neared Suichi could feel the warmth radiating from his body and he stumbled forward, desperate for heat.

And then he was wrapped in the heat of this god's arms and light exploded around them. The snow pulled away from them and the grass sprang up. Suichi looked behind them and trees rapidly emerging from the ground. His ears caught the sound of tentative bird calls, and his nose the scent of new spring flowers. The saline ice melted from his face and resumed their course down his flushed face.

Together they started to walk, leaving warmth and light behind them. Around them, the cold unforgiving winter whirled and shrieked, as if furious that such a creature dared disrupt the freezing deathly landscape...

AUTHORS WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS DESCRIPTIONS OF A DISTURBING NATURE. (It made me cry when I wrote it, in other words). PLEASE CONTINUE AT YOUR OWN RISK. WHATEVER YOU ASSUMED HAD HAPPENED TO SUICHI IS ABOUT TO BE BLOWN AWAY IN A REALLY DISTURBING MANNER.

Chapter 5: Revelations

"Suichi are you sure you want to go through with this? You had such a hard time just telling your mother the whole story… are you positive you want to tell the whole country?"

For the fourth time that morning, Suichi sighed and looked at the anxious fox. "Yoko, we've been through this already. My nervousness counts for nothing if I can get all the others out of that horrid place! I'll be fine, I promise."

The editors for the national newspaper had agreed to give Suichi an interview after hearing the basic idea of his story. They were due to arrive any moment, and as the seconds ticked by, Yoko grew more nervous and Suichi more composed. Finally the doorbell buzzed and Shiori leapt up to open it. Yoko swallowed his nerves and forced himself to relax.

The journalist was young, with piercing blue eyes. She introduced herself as Tsuyoshi Eyaru and set up her laptop on the coffee table. She looked from Suichi to Yoko and finally said, "I'm assuming you're Suichi?" the redhead nodded. "So then…who are you?"

"I'm the one who rescued him. I'm the one who brought him back home. I am Yoko."

Eyaru blinked. "Oh… Well, whenever you're ready Suichi-san."

Suichi looked at Yoko and sighed. He started out shakily but regained his confidence as he continued to speak. The journalist interrupted him once or twice but for the most part just let him talk.

"Nine years ago I was stolen from my bed and taken to the most horrible place that could possibly exist. I was sixteen. To this day I don't know who my kidnappers were; they blindfolded me and had me bound so tightly I could barely breathe. I remember lying on cold stone for what seemed an endless amount of time before someone picked me up and dragged me off somewhere else.

"When the blindfold was finally removed I was in a tiny cell, with the ropes still wrapped around me. I was gagged too, and terrified. When someone finally showed up it was in the form of the biggest, fattest, ugliest demon imaginable. This was in the days before we knew demons even existed. All I saw was a giant green monster, like something straight out of Hollywood. I remember how my heart stopped in fear, how I could only watch with wide, terrified eyes as this monster approached me with the most lecherous look on his face. I must have fainted when he reached out and grabbed me with his dustbin-lid-sized hands, because the next thing I remember is waking up, hurting like hell, freezing, naked, and feeling so inexplicably violated."

Eyaru interrupted him. "How do you remember all of this if it was nine years ago?"

Suichi did not answer for a moment, his eyes starting to regain the haunted look he had had when Yoko first rescued him. "Every day from that day on is burned into my memory. Although I eventually stopped fighting my captors, I never gave up as some of the others did. I was conscious and aware of every moment of every day, and all of those moments have been stamped into my memory with a fiery brand. M-may I continue?" she nodded.

"I made the connection between the mind-numbing pain in my lower back, the sense of violation, and the look in the demon's eyes. The ropes were gone, save for the ones holding my arms behind my back.
"The next two or three weeks it was the same thing every day. I didn't know it then but they were breaking me, breaking me in body and spirit so I would not fight when it really started. I was only lucky enough to be unconscious another four times out of the twenty or so times I was raped during the next few weeks.

"Finally, an eternity later, someone besides the monster entered my little cell and hauled me to my feet. He frog-marched me out of the cell and into a much larger one. But here there were many others, some human, some demon, some male, some female, ranging from younger than I even was to mid-thirties. The one thing they all had in common was that they were all extremely good-looking.

"I was given the same 'outfit' as the others—besides the ropes that still bound my arms, it consisted of a cock ring and a cleverly constructed gag that was made totally of steel and held my mouth open at all times. The mouthpiece was a steel ring about a half an inch in length. The diameter was adjustable; my mouth could be opened wider or closed depending on one's whim. That gag was removed once—or twice if I was lucky—a day so I could eat the moldy cheese or stale bread they would feed us with.

"The first two years were the training years. Never once did they tell us what we were in training for, but we were forced to be obedient, submissive, silent unless otherwise instructed. We were taught to wipe all emotion from ourselves; we were brainwashed into forgetting who we were, our names, families, and lives were gone. This training involved many things: rape, torture, starvation, taunting, etc. One of their favorite things was to tie me in an extremely painful position the human—or demon—body is not meant to be in and leaving me there for hours. If I screamed or cried out in any way, they would leave me there longer." Here Suichi paused and stared absently at the far wall. "But it was after those of us that survived 'graduated' that the real horror began. I had given up on escape or rescue and had resigned myself to a lifetime of rape some time before that. But the word 'rape' doesn't even begin to cover it…"

"There were a couple hundred more demons and humans in the third dungeon in which I resided. Only a few were there at a given time during work hours, arms bound and chained to the wall. That first day was the hardest. Once we realized what we had been being prepared for… many just gave up and died that first day."

Eyaru interrupted again. "What were you being prepared for?"

Suichi shook his head. "There's no word to describe it. We weren't prostitutes or even sex slaves. We were more like… living blow-up dolls. The only real difference was the 'customer' would have to tell us what to do with our hands. Our training was so thorough, so exact, that if someone said, 'Jerk me off' it was almost a reflex. No matter what they did to me I would not scream unless they told me to. I did not let them see my fear or my pain or my anger unless the customer wanted me to. We were like robots.

"We would wake up at the crack of dawn after maybe four hours of sleep and eat a pathetically tiny amount of bread or cheese before the customers started pouring in. Don't think we only served demons; there were a number of human customers there too, although their numbers increased about three years later. Anyway we would serve any who requested us. The lucky ones who weren't as popular would have maybe four a day. Most had seven or eight. I was one of the unfortunate few who had thirteen or fourteen a day. Most of the time I was busy through dinner. If we missed dinner, well that was just too bad for us.

"The only break between customers was the hurried five minutes that it took for an Overseer to throw a bucket of often freezing water over me and then scrubbing me down with a brush that was meant for scrubbing floors, not people. It hurt. They scrubbed every inch of us red and raw, regardless of whether or not we were bleeding, regardless of injuries. And often they would rape us themselves before. We were dried by a woman with the power to control both air and fire—it took about four seconds to be completely dry.

"At one or two in the morning our day would end and we would be allowed to sleep. I did not sleep at all the first few weeks, but eventually time caught up with me and I learned to be able to sleep through those precious few hours regardless of how much pain I was in.

"Many gave up and just died. Even more went insane. They would constantly hum to themselves, oblivious to everything except what was in their deluded minds. I envied them sometimes. They obviously felt none of it. The majority just lived on in a state of perpetual unconsciousness. They were as detached as the crazy ones, but able to understand and respond to commands. And a select few of us retained our sanity, retained our awareness. That was me. I was once again one of the unfortunate minority. As I said before, I remember every moment of every day for the past nine years as clearly as if it were yesterday. Day after day of being used, thrown away, cleaned up, and then the whole process repeated. It never faltered. There were no vacations.

"I forgot about the sun and the stars and the grass. I forgot about snow and rain and the feel of the wind in my hair. I forgot the scent of cherry blossoms on a warm day in April. I forgot the gentle twitter of birds at dawn. I forgot about the strange beauty of looking out my window on a clear night and seeing all the lights of the city. I forgot about what it was to smile or laugh or even feel happy. I forgot about the sound of children playing, the thrill of disobeying your parents, the warm feeling when you do well on a test. I forgot what it felt like to sleep in a bed, to eat a proper meal, to take a hot shower or brush my teeth or—anything. I forgot what life was. My entire semi-existence was despair and pain and misery and helplessness and hopelessness." He could not continue.

There was a moment of silence before Yoko laughed humorlessly. They both looked at him. "I was just thinking about how we all complain about how much our lives suck. Our television doesn't work, its cold outside, my spouse is mad at me, I hate my job, my dad just died, I have no friends, whatever. Who are we to complain? I do it too, I won't deny that. But who are we to complain about anything at all? Even someone living out on the streets has little to complain about. He's got the sun and the birds and the lights of the city and all those other things we take for granted that make this such a beautiful world." He stopped, his face darkening. "And it makes my blood boil to think that anyone could take all that away from someone and throw them into such a place."

They were interrupted by the "beep" of Eyaru's tape recorder. She looked at it. "We're out of time, I'm afraid." Her voice was shaking. "Thank you so much Suichi-san."

"N-no, thank you." The redhead whispered. "Who knows, maybe if it makes everyone else as mad as it makes Yoko something will get done."