Not the Way You Like
A/N: Because someone had to write Gibbs convincing Fornell to hang himself.
Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS. I own nothing except a laptop and too many NCIS DVDs.
"I'm not getting out of this, am I?" Fornell asked, looking at Gibbs for confirmation.
"Ah, you'll get out of it," Gibbs replied, lifting his coffee cup to his lips. "It just may not be the way you like." He took a deep sip, and Fornell raised an eyebrow at him.
"When you get that look, I get worried. Very worried," Fornell commented. Gibbs smirked at him in response. Fornell sighed, standing up from his cot and straightening his bright orange prison jumpsuit. Gibbs had to admit, the color definitely didn't work on him. "I take it you have a plan?" he asked, taking another draught of the coffee that Gibbs had brought him and wincing at the bitter taste.
"Oh yeah," he said, still smirking. Fornell leveled a withering glare at him.
"Can you quit pussy footing around and just tell me what the hell's going on?" the FBI agent snapped, thoroughly disgruntled. Gibbs lifted his elbows from the bars of the cell, taking a step back. Just out of strangling reach.
"Not a fan of the coffee, huh?" he asked, and Fornell furrowed his brow in confusion.
"What's that got to do with anything?"
"Shouldn't matter that you didn't drink it all, I guess. You've taken two or three sips, right? Should be enough," he said, with a shrug of his shoulders.
"What the-" Fornell looked down at the coffee before realization dawned on his features. "Goddamnit, Gibbs! You dosed me!"
"Yup," Gibbs replied cheerfully. "Should set in within the next ten minutes or so. You better get yourself ready." He eyed the cot pressed into the corner of Fornell's cell. "You think you could make a rope out of those sheets?"
"What in the name of all that's holy did you put in my drink?"
"Just something to calm you down, Tobias. Hell, it'll be like you're not even alive." At this, Fornell's eyes widened, and he sniffed the coffee. Gibbs hazarded a guess that he was expecting to smell almond. "It won't kill you. Not for long, anyway."
"GIBBS-"
"It'll make you appear dead. You need to make it look like you've hung yourself," Gibbs explained, interrupting the oncoming temper tantrum from the FBI agent. "Only one way out."
"In a body bag!?"
"Just relax," Gibbs said, repressing an eye roll. "Not like you haven't tied your own rope before."
"Oh, ha-ha," Fornell responded, voice thick with sarcasm. "You're asking me to hang myself, you realize that, right?"
"I could help, if you want," he offered, an affable smile on his face.
"This is a dream come true for you, isn't it? You talking me into suicide?" Fornell asked.
"Words hurt, Tobias."
"Exactly how much are you enjoying this?"
"Oh, only just a lot."
Fornell let out a heavy sigh before standing up and peeling the sheets off of his cot. "My career's really taken a turn for the worse," he muttered with a forlorn shake of his head.