POSTMAN PAT
Posyt manssxz was wrinh to bes an nezt nmornin he wa s woken acroos to terry's wogna. So posman part was gon to wok to deliva poss ato akkl teh poepls isn awher he linvesbut ht en soimeon seds POOMAN PATZS WAT R U ADOIN HEER?1 and posyman saus I AM GO DELIVAGR NMAILKS TOY UTOYR DOORZRRY and ghe se dss NO PAM PAT YOUM WILLS NOT so possemen pat.
Ths man swas sayrin to nhjisa girldfin I WAS GUM and jrhse ssaugs that IHN WANSST UGJMSON THE YCVAME TO CKYD what dais
BASS JONES
Wafg So yyhinin hwe wntr yin to hta vclub wer pat was but thwen some bfuufe dased htat porcemun pot was inb ywhyte cksceytcd So anyway, Postman Pat was doing his daily rounds and noticed that there was no one around, such a shock, for it was indeed a beautiful morning. Behind him, a moaning, groaning hulk of decaying flesh and rotten organs oozing internal fluids appeared.
"Oh my god!" Cried Pat, "zombies!"
Bt thah wa sybhe anyoherr stoyrqw so nab BASD JONAS the aps nwat thear bu pogoman pit was havn non of itqa so she adh o htehn man YO WAN PATZZ? YO GET PI CE OG ME FGFAGOT
An da otter man seds PATTER FUKN POSSSSSSSMAN SI SI ISISISSI AI KJILL OU
Leningrad, 1942.
BOLSHEVIK BURGERS
In 1946, the Bolshevik made Bolshevik burgers for the people of Leningrad, and a good time was had by all. Stalin was most impressed by the quality of the meat, especially to find that it was not irradiated.
POPO PAM WAS WAKIN YO COMPUTEAZX SWHIC SEDS
OMGZA YART I AM THE COMPUTOE
So teha damna fuckhn ikn fae gaeg iwg rgithanfdf \nk I am Welsh.
Hello.
Eventually someone in this story got shot and died, much like Jeff Goldblum in the David Cronenberg version of The Fly from 1986. It co-starred Geena Davis, who -at the time- looked like hot shit, and I think she still does. The Fly still isn't as good as John Carpenter's 1982 version of The Thing, which was awesome and featured Wilford Brimley killing people like a faggot and then Kurt Russell blew him up because Kurt Russell is a total badass who plays computer chess.
THE END
Excepy no b ecaos posmat pat was stoil on his killn spreeees an he nocke over an lamp andf died.
TEY OND