"Ok, are you ready, Tails?"

The twin-tailed fox sitting in the Hot Seat hardly fidgeted as he stared point blank at the scattered info on the monitor in front of him.

"I am ready, Zenith."

The three lifelines, 50/50, Ask the Audience, and Phone a Friend, remained intact for this fifteenth and final question, which was worth a sum of cash that sounded really cliché to the millions of viewers watching at home, as well as possibly the fox himself.

"The question," I started, not paying attention to the crazy face he shot at his screen, "for one million dollars..."

As soon as the moody and tension-inducing music track cued, I continued. "What is the first letter in the English alphabet?" I read on slowly, announcing the answers as they came up.

A: C
B: D
C: A
D: B

"What is the first letter in the English alphabet?" I repeated, just to let the question and four answers to sink in.

"It's A," snapped Tails, shortly.

"Is it now?"

"Well..." the fox started, but hesitated, "yeah."

"Ok then."

I had never gotten an answer to the ultimate question this quickly. In fact, I was pretty sure this was the fastest in any international version. About two seconds following his affirmation was choice A, I went to seal the deal.

"Shall I lock in A?"

"Now wait a minute," interrupted the fox, now sporting a cold stare. "I mean to say, C."

"C?" I re-positioned myself on what I personally referred to as the Cold Seat. "C is the first letter in the English alphabet?"

"No," replied the fox in an agitated tone. "The answer is A, so put in C. C, A."

"C, A, which one is it?"

His stare, now directed towards me, was blank. "It's A."

I was determined to end this now. "Final Answer, choice A?"

"No! Choice C, letter A!"

"You tell me, Tails..." I heaved a sigh that sounded more like a groan, "what is the first letter in the English alphabet?!"

His stare remained blank for a second.

"A!"

I leaned over towards the fox. "Is A your Final Answer?"

"A as in C," the fox retorted shortly, folding his arms.

"You know, you have three lifelines."

"I don't need those stinking lifelines!" Through the crowd's incessant hissing, he continued, "The answer is A!"

"So choice A is your answer?" I peppered, pointing a finger towards his inevitable confirmation.

"Choice C, letter A!" Or not.

"If you're not sure, why don't you take a lifeline?"

"I give up," the fox remarked after a second of hesitation. "The 50/50, please."

"Fine, since I'm not much help to you right now, let's see if the computer can solve that by taking away two random wrong answers, please." I stressed the magic word in my request seeing as the freak manning the computer was a self-proclaimed expert on manners.

A: C
C: A

"Alright, A or C."

"C," snapped the fox almost immediately after choices B and D were removed.

I folded my arms. "C is the first letter in the English alphabet."

"Ask the Audience." His stare got colder the longer it was fixated towards me.

"Final Answer?"

"Ask the Audience now."

"Alright, geez." Where's that self-proclaimed expert on manners when you need him? "Audience, grab those buzzers. I must remind you, we are playing for a million dollars. This is not a time to play games."

"Har-d-har," retorted the fox.

I repeated the question for the sake of anyone in the audience who weren't paying any attention when I first read it. "The question is, what is the first letter in the English alphabet? Now A on your buzzers means the letter C, and C is the letter A. It's as simple as that. A or C, please vote now."

It took the usual five seconds to get the results from every member.

A: 0%
C: 100%

"Thank you!"

"Well..." I mulled, "quite the overwhelming result here."

"Yeah, you've done enough to confuse me," started the fox. "I'm going with the audience and saying A, Final Answer."

"But that's not what the audience picked, Tails."

"Yeah it is! It's right in front of both our screens!"

"No, the audience picked C," I snapped, evidently losing my patience.

"No they didn't."

"It's right in front of both our screens!"

The fox shook his head quickly. "Alright, if the audience picked C, then I'm going with the audience. C, Final Answer."

"But the audience said A is the first letter in the alphabet."

"A is the first letter of the alphabet!" The fox was now practically shrieking. "A is my Final Answer!"

"A is locked in!" I made a gesture similar to what a baseball umpire would do to rule the baserunner safe.

"But I locked in C?" the fox interrupted again, pointing out that the answer that had suddenly bore a bright amber glow was A: C and not C: A.

"Shut up."

"But..."

"For $1,000,000..." The fox sighed, shaking his head in disgust. "What is the first letter in the English alphabet? You said A..."

"Meaning C..." the fox persisted.

"I'm sorry, Tails," I continued with minimal hesitation, "you've just lost $468,000."

"Oh, for Pete's sake."

"The correct answer is C: A is the first letter in the alphabet." As I got done declaring the correct answer, the klaxon sounded. "But that sound means that's all the time we have for tonight's show, so we'll see you next Monday, eh." Bad puns free of charge.

"I knew it was A," the fox persisted again.