The Wilting Rose, a doctor who fanfic

A/N: Hi guys! So this story is a sad one (again, wow) that takes place in an AU where Doomsday never happened and Rose just kept traveling with Ten. There's no Tentoo or anything, she's just traveling with the Doctor. And age takes some toll on her... This is also un-beta'd by the way, so please excuse any mistakes.

Rose Tyler was thirty-seven when the first gray hair appeared.

And oh, what an entrance it made. As she peered into the bathroom mirror, she raised her right hand to her right eye. Gently she traced the tiny lines that were appearing there more and more every day now, and frowned. Why did aging have to be so visible? Why couldn't she stay beautiful forever? Suddenly filled with anger at the unfairness of life, she clenched her hands into fists and a tear fell down her cheek. Looking back in the mirror she pulled her hair out of a ponytail and, for the first time in several months, did a full search of her hair for any discolored ones. Sure enough, on the left side, four gray hairs sat happily attached to her head. Crow's feet already? Forehead wrinkles would come in a mere ten years most likely, and those would not be fun. She glanced down at her legs and sighed, they were weaker now. The running they had used to do daily without breaking a sweat was now burdening her, and she was aware that soon the Doctor would tell her she couldn't go on adventures as often. Or worse, not at all.

How selfish was she being by staying with him even though she was no longer of any use?

"Rose! You in there?" The Doctor's voice called from the console room, echoing around the hallways.

"Yeah, be out in a second!" She answered, exiting the bathroom door and quickly remembering to swipe away the tear from her cheek.

The Doctor bounded out in front of her, his tall hair flopping up and down as he walked. He had a wide smile on his face, with barely any wrinkles whatsoever, since none had developed over the last eighteen years, and opened his mouth to speak then shut it and frowned. "Rose, are you okay?"

Rose nodded much quicker than she should've, "Yeah, I'm fine." She faked a smile and got on her tippy-toes to kiss him on the cheek. "Let's go."

Usually he would accept this and follow her when she walked away down the hall, but this time he stopped her and tilted his head. "You're not fine. What's wrong? Please tell me, love."

Her heart melted. He had started calling her love sixteen years ago, and it still made her heart race a little when she heard it. She had laughed the first time he had said it, saying it was a little 'domestic' for him, but now it was like their personal joke. They had been together romantically for so long she had forgotten what it was like to only be friends with him. After they had found out she couldn't conceive his child they had considered adopting, but never did. It was almost laughable to Rose how it had gone from him being so much older than her to the opposite. Sure, he was still technically older, but physical appearances said otherwise. A small sob escaped her throat at these thoughts and she tried to hurry faster down the hallway while letting out a cracked, "I'm fine."

He hurried up to her from behind and wrapped his arms around her waist, putting his nose deep into her neck. "You're not fine. Tell me what's wrong, love. You can tell me anything."

Rose cried more at this and turned around to hug him full on, her messy blonde hair in his face. "I'm sorry," She said randomly, pulling him away and looking him in the eyes. Saying sorry constantly was definitely a bad habit she had picked up from him.

"Don't be sorry!" The Doctor assured her quickly, his eyebrows pulling together with concern. "Just tell me..." She didn't speak for a minute so he pulled her tighter to him and smiled against her neck, "I'm not letting go until you tell me."

She couldn't help but giggle a little at this, and he laughed in return. Eventually, she spoke. "Doctor, I'm getting old."

There. She had said it. All of her feelings could be categorized into that sentence. She pulled away again and desperately wiped away her tears with her purple shirtsleeve. His pinstripe suit was wet from her crying and his lips twitched for a moment. After so many years she had learned what all his little movements yet and hugged him once more, knowing he was about to cry too. Suddenly sobs were wretched from his body and he squeezed her. "I know you're getting physically old," He said truthfully from over her shoulder. "But let me tell you, Rose Tyler," He pulled away this time and grabbed her shoulders with both hands, staring deep into her big brown eyes. "You are still by the far the most beautiful woman in this entire universe. And you always will be. Got it?"

Rose nodded and grabbed his hand in hers, "Can we have ice cream?"

"Of course we can have ice cream!" He put on a comical flabbergasted expression and stepped back, "Rose! How can you even ask that! Isn't that obvious?" She giggled a little, a sound he treasured, and led him to the kitchen where they got peanut-butter ice cream. "Let's take the ice cream to your bedroom," He suggested, "The TARDIS can clean up after us."

The ship made a loud buzzing noise and the wall of the kitchen lit up. "He didn't mean it," Rose assured the TARDIS, patting the wall.

He raised an eyebrow. "Teaming up against me... Typical."

It was six years later when the nightmare happened.

Lately, for about the past ten months, the Doctor had majorly toned down the excitement of their adventures. It wasn't the excitement necessarily so much as the danger and unpredictability factor, but it was still a little offending. It had been little things at first, for example the time he was about to take them to a planet then changed his mind, making a funny expression that she couldn't really read and staring at her. But soon enough he sat her down for the talk, the one she had been dreading for so long. On one hand, she was somewhat glad they were getting this over with. On the other, she wanted to curl up and die.

"Rose, can I talk to you about something kind of serious?" He said after an adventure on Earth one day.

She was still a little out of breath from the crazy running they had just done and gasped, "Of course, what is it?"

Of course, she already knew. He twisted his mouth to the side, a face that meant he was in a difficult situation. The Doctor grabbed her hand, leading her to his bedroom and carefully drawing Gallifreyan words on the back of her hand with his thumb. "Rose, I love you," He said simply, sitting down on his bed with her next to him. "You know that, right?"

"Yeah," Rose grinned a little, "I know that."

"My... Traveling," He began, a little unsure. "When you first traveled with me, you asked if it was always this dangerous... And, well..." When he looked back up he saw little tears forming in her eyes and wiped them away. But he needed to finish. "I think we should tone down the traveling, just a bit. There's still a ton of places I'd love to take you! Have we seen Barcelona yet? Rassilon, how long have I been promising those stupid noseless dogs?"

"Doctor?" Rose said, unprepared for what she was just about to ask. She knew he was unprepared too, but she needed to get the words out.

"Yes?" He squeezed her hand a little.

"Am I..." She choked up and shook her head. He opened his arms wide, asking if she needed another hug, but she shook her head quickly. "Am I going to die?" It was definitely a dumb question, she knew that. But before she could accept the fact she needed to hear his answer.

The Doctor stared at her and his jaw dropped open, a sight that made Rose want to curl up and die. He swallowed, obviously unsure of what to do to stop his tears from coming. He wiped at his eye even though it was still dry, and sniffled. "I... Rose... I don't know," The Time-Lord said suddenly, leaning back onto the bed and grabbing a pillow to cover his face. "I don't know, Rose. I'm so sorry. I don't know."

Rose leaned back on the bed too and hugged him from behind, burying her face in his back. "Don't apologize," She pleaded. "I can't stand it when you apologize, it sounds so genuine."

"It is genuine!" He cried into the pillow, now unable to stop it from getting soaking wet. His voice cracked, but he didn't care. "I'm so sorry that you have to die. Please, I don't want you to die."

She pulled the pillow away and looked into his eyes. "Isn't there anything you can do? Surely in many years the human race must have cured that..."

To her despair, he shook his head. "Old age... The one thing they couldn't cure. But maybe I could die with you," He suggested, his face showing that he was completely serious with this idea.

Rose hit him on the arm and he grimaced for a moment. "Don't you dare," She said.

"But-" He began to argue but Rose cut him off again.

"I said, don't you dare die at the same time as me. You don't have to. Keep living your life after I'm gone, and just remember me, alright?"

"Rose, before I met you I was a wreck. Imagine what I'll be like after you... Leave me," The Doctor barely got the last two words out through his sobs.

She rubbed her knuckles into his back, giving him a very bad massage. "Doctor, even after I leave you, you'll be brilliant. I want you to promise me, right here right now, you won't die because of me, right?" The Doctor didn't answer, so she flipped him over and glared at him. "Promise me."

He sighed, "I don't think I can promise that, Rose. I don't want to live without you."

"You'll find another love after I'm gone," Rose whispered into his ear, now running both of her hands through his hair. "They won't love you like I do, but they'll love you. So shut up and promise me."

"I promise I won't die because you leave, Rose Tyler."

He couldn't see the genuine big smile that grew on her face.

Twenty-nine years passed in a flash, and she was seventy-two now.

Their adventures had stopped completely, and the Doctor took good care of her daily. One evening he laid down on her bed with her and pulled out an old dusty photo album he hadn't touched for many years. He flipped through it with her, pointing out silly pictures of his old incarnations. She laughed and enjoyed herself, and after so many years of being with her he never tired of that laugh. As he stared at her now wrinkled face and gray hair, now with very few strands of blonde, he couldn't help but hate himself for staying so youthful. Why wouldn't his body age? Why couldn't he be with her?

"That's Adric... He was a nice boy," The Doctor reminisced, pointing at a photo.

Rose didn't reply so he leaned forward and looked at her, only to see she was sleeping with a small smile resting on her lips. He removed one of the pillows under her head to make her more comfortable and kissed her on the forehead, whispering a gentle, "Good night." The photo album shut with a clap and he set it on her nightstand, along with taking an empty glass there to go wash it in the kitchen sink.

Rose Tyler felt like the luckiest woman in the world. Sure, plenty of women had men take care of them in their old age, but rarely were they this spoiled. He assisted her everywhere she needed to go, and complained and groaned when she carried heavy things on her own. Although she knew her time was coming, and even though she wasn't anywhere close to accepting it, life wasn't so bad for her. He even put up with her when she fell asleep on him or didn't want the food he had made for her, though she always tried to eat it no matter what.

The following morning he marched into her room to find her still asleep and smiled a little, resting her breakfast on her desk. He sat on the bed beside her and ran his hand through her hair, which was still the most beautiful hair to him even though it was now gray. Her eyes fluttered open and she grinned at him, "Hi, Doctor," She said.

"Good morning, love." He said quietly, staring at her.

"You made breakfast?" She said, even though he did it routinely every morning. "Thanks!"

The Doctor simply nodded and handed the tray to her, "Of course. I was thinking I could show you a planet today, if you're up for it? I don't want to push you if you don't want to, and we can always just have another day in and watch the Lion King, since that movie never gets old or even-"

Rose laughed and cut him off, "I'd love to see a planet. Your ramble is still adorable after all these years."

"And your laugh is still the cutest thing, love." He replied, kissing her forehead again.

She grinned up at him and put her hand on the head of the bed, lifting herself upwards. "Let's go now, I'm feeling brilliant."

His eyes sparkled a little bit at her words and he supported her using his shoulder, though she didn't really need it. Together they walked down the TARDIS hallway and to the console room. The Doctor danced around the console room the same way he had so many years ago, yanking levers and pushing buttons. Except now Rose knew what every single one of the devices did, and grinned when the ship made the whooshing noise.

If only for a moment, she could picture herself youthful and energetic, hearing this sound for the first time. She would happily step out of the doors, curious about this man and what he did. She would be able to run along side him and dance with him, fighting aliens and crying and laughing. But now she held on for dear life to the TARDIS railing as the ship lurched, the Doctor running over to support her. He grinned brightly when the movements stopped, and nodded towards the door. "Ladies first," The Doctor said, stepping out of her way and letting her go to the doors.

She returned his grin and walked up to the doors, but before she opened them she turned around. "At the same time," Rose suggested.

"Deal."

Two pairs of hands were set on the doors and they shoved them open together, Rose gasped a little at what she saw. The Doctor grabbed her hand and stared at her, "Do you like it?" He asked. It was ridiculous to her that he could even doubt whether or not she'd enjoy it.

"Nah," She answered simply, staring at him and giving him her best this-is-lame face.

A sweep of sadness grew over his face until he realized she was joking, then he poked her in the side and said, "Oi! It's the Rosette Nebula... Beautiful, isn't it?"

Rose nodded and leaned against the side of the doors, one leg dangling off the ship and the other on his lap. "Doctor?"

"Yes, love?" He asked her, leaning on the other side and putting his feet on her, making her laugh.

She closed her eyes and smiled a little, "Tell me a story."

"What about?"

"I don't know, anything. Something about you."

"Sure," He whispered, turning his head and staring at the nebula.

"Once upon a time," He began. "There was a man who didn't know how to love. He met many people and loved all of them, but not romantically. Then, one day, he made... A mistake, and destroyed a lot of the people he loved. Then he had nobody." Rose sighed a little and he looked at her to make sure she was still awake. She was staring out at the nebula too, still smiling. "So he wandered around for a bit, really confused and really hurt. Why couldn't he love anyone? It wasn't really fair... Until one day he blew up this shop and met this girl... This beautiful, fantastic girl... And the girl didn't think she was amazing. She thought she was just a simple little London shop girl, but the man showed her her true potential. Her potential to be the most fantastic being in the universe. Her potential to help people and travel the stars with him, together, like they should be. And in return she taught him how to love again and how to love someone so much his heart hurt. And how to not be able to live without someone, not even for a day."

The Doctor dangled his foot off the ledge and laughed, "And the entire situation. It was so stereotypically fairytale, plus the aliens, of course, and neither of them could really believe things could have turned out so perfectly. So they stayed together in his ship, traveling across the galaxy. Seeing such beautiful sights..."

"But there was a tragic side. Because the most beautiful sight in all the universe, the one that can make the saddest man in the world laugh, he couldn't show her that. It was her, and he couldn't convince her of how beautiful she was to him. He couldn't convince her that it wasn't just the pretty blonde hair or nice bum that made her beautiful," Rose giggled a little at this, but he continued. "It was her. The little things. So he stayed with her for many many years, with only the goal to make her feel beautiful. And they lived happily ever after."

"That was a nice story," Rose mused, "Does this girl have a name?"

"Definitely not Rose," He teased, sticking his tongue out at her.

They were silent for a little while before Rose said, "Thanks for showing me this. It's really the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

"I'm pretty sure it's named after you," The Doctor replied.

"Yeah, I bet," She said with sarcasm heavy in her voice.

"Can you believe it?" The Doctor murmured by her bedside, stroking her hair and crying a little.

Rose opened her wrinkled eyes and stared at him, "Believe what?"

She was ninety-six now, and although neither of them talked about it, they both knew the time was coming for her. The Doctor did absolutely everything in his power, but would still randomly burst into tears around her. It wasn't his fault, he had said it himself that he wanted her last years to be happy and joyful. However, no matter what he did, they just couldn't avoid the inevitable. He stayed with her almost constantly, the entire time that she slept, and he only got sleep himself when he curled up next to her and fell asleep in her now completely-gray hair.

"This will sound dumb..." He said, laying down in the bed and folding his arms across his chest. "But, can you believe we just made it this far?"

She cleared her throat a little and rested her hand on his head, stroking his hair absent-mindedly. "What do you mean?"

"Just... It's such an achievement. So many people die, whether it's from some accident or disease or their own stupidity. And look at us, alive. We've definitely lived life to the fullest, too, it's not like we just sat in some shell."

Rose frowned, "You say that like your life is over too." He didn't reply, just curled into her more and kissed her cheek. She pulled away from him with all the strength she could manage and stared him straight in the face. "Doctor, you say it like your life is over."

"Well... It will be soon enough, I hate to say..." He said the words so quietly she barely made them out.

"Do you remember when I was forty-three?" Rose asked randomly, sighing and shutting her eyes.

"What happened when you were forty-three?"

"You made a promise to me that you wouldn't end your life when mine is over. Doctor, I know we don't talk about it, but I've accepted the fact that my life is ending soon. I know you won't accept it, and it will be hard for you, but I want you to reassure me of that promise."

The Doctor reluctantly rolled his eyes and groaned, "I promise, love."

"Good. You know, you haven't slept a wink for so long, you really should go sleep."

"I don't know," He said in a teasing voice, "I'm pretty comfortable right here." He gestured to his position curled beside her like a dog.

"You don't want to sleep next to a scraggy old woman," She joked back.

The Doctor sat up and stared at her, "Rose Tyler, you are the most beautiful woman in the universe, and it would be my honor to sleep next to you."

Rose raised an eyebrow. "Well, when you say it like that."

10:10p.m.

He awoke to the sound of heavy breathing, heavier than usual. Sitting up quickly and staring at her, he saw that her face was flushed and she had an expression of panic. "Rose?" He mumbled, still barely awake. "Rose?!" He said louder when he realized there was a real emergency going on. The Doctor panicked and jumped out of the bed, sprinting to her side, unsure of what to do. "Are you okay? What happened? Please, please, tell me! I can help!"

Instead of panicking back or telling him what to do, Rose placed a gentle hand on his lower arm. "Doctor, it's time."

"What?" He demanded to know, tears already falling from his eyes onto his pinstripe suit. "What are you talking about? What happened to you?"

"I got old, and it's my time. I'm sorry I have to go," Rose mumbled, kissing his hand.

The Doctor's heart broke and sobs escaped his mouth, "What are you talking about? Please, just stop this. Tell me."

"Tell you what?" Rose stared straight into his eyes, without a single tear on her except for his own. "I've already told you everything I could in the time that I have. Now I can just say I love you, Doctor. I love you so much and I can never thank you enough for what you've shown me."

"Stop this, Rose. I'm serious, this isn't funny," He said, his voice cold and his heart dying.

"I'll be with you forever, just remember that. Find someone and remember your promise. Do that as one last favor to me, remember that promise."

The Doctor cried out, unsure of what was happening and more scared than he had been in his entire life, "Rose!"

"Go see that nebula again why don't you? Remember that? I know I remember it. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen... Except for you. You're so, so beautiful, Doctor. Everything about you is so beautiful. Don't let that go to waste," She was gasping for breath now, one hand on her own heart and the other on his.

"I love you so much. I can't live without you," He stated simply, debating whether or not he should run and get medical supplies.

"Can I still travel?" Rose asked quietly. "After I'm gone, do you think I can still travel?"

"I think..." The Doctor swallowed deep, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down. "I think if you can't, then I'll travel in memory of you. I love you Rose Tyler. I don't know why I couldn't say it before, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for all the pain and grief I caused you."

"Worth it... You are worth it, Doctor."

And her breaths stopped.

He could tell instantly, sense her heartbeat stop quietly as if it was the most insignificant thing in the world. Except it wasn't, the last beat was a loud boom that could have been heard by anyone across the galaxy, an explosion of the most magnificent life coming to an end. The Doctor stood by her bedside for twenty-four hours straight after her heart stopped, stroking her hair and whispering comforting words to her. He couldn't really accept the fact that she was gone, so instead he decided to fake it for a while. It worked until one day he brought her breakfast and she didn't eat it, causing her to break down and cry on the floor in a ball.

How could the worst and best decision he had ever made be falling in love with Rose Marion Tyler?

But he remembered her final request, and her last word, and decided to continue traveling. The first thing he did was travel back in time and borrow a microscope from an old friend, pointing it up at the sky and seeing a beautiful red cluster of stars. He named it the Rosette Nebula, after her, and continued back into the police box on his way. At least by naming the star he knew he could complete his goal. His goal which had been to show her the way she looked from his point of view, and since she had said that the nebula was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen, he had managed to do it. He smiled as he stepped back into the TARDIS.

When he walked back into the ship he approached her bedroom where her body still lay, and knew deep down that he needed to move it. So he built a classical Gallifreyan burial boat and placed her body on it, covering it in roses of all colors and varieties. He took the TARDIS to the Atlantic Ocean of Earth and pushed the boat out onto the water, catching it on fire.

And as he looked out onto her beautiful body burning away, the ashes floating away in the cool breeze, he was angry. He stood in his pinstripe suit, the same one he had worn for so many years without changing sizes, changing his body, or aging. The ashes floated in front of his face and he even smelled them. When the ship was finally done burning the coast he was standing on was completely silent. The TARDIS stood behind him, the ocean waves crashed onto the beach without making a noise, and a few birds flew above. The angry man stared out to where her boat had been and thought for a moment.

"There's no God."

A/N: -laughs nervously- What of course I didn't cry while writing Rose's death scene. That'd be silly, right? But anyways, if you want me to interpret the exact meaning of the ending for you then just ask but it's kind of an opinionated thing. Hope you enjoyed this sad, sad story and have a much happier day. I tried to make this as realistic as possible with her age and the way he would take care of her, so hopefully I did a good job.