Mortem – suicidio – αυτοκτονία – Suicide
"Sometimes even to live is an act of courage." – Seneca
"But in the end one needs more courage to live than to kill himself." – Albert Camus
I Love Nico and I hated that he was so alone though the first series, when he told his secret in the other series I was wailing and could not choose between screaming "called it" and taking him into my arms and never letting go. Of cause, I could not do the latter so I kept to the first option.
This is just short story about Nico and my OC that may be just who Nico needs in this situation. The song in this story Is Soldatino or (Nicos´ Lullaby). It´s a wonderful, tearful song by Paola Bennet. After this or while you read you should totally hear it.
Disclaimer: I do not own any Percy Jackson character or the song.
Nico had thought long about it, the end. Bianca was long dead, Hazel back in New Rome where she belonged. He looked down to the dirty water under the bridge. How would the others from camp think? They would probably not even realize he was gone. What would Percy think? No, he could not think about him. What about Will? He had cared for Nico, had he just been too heartbroken to see that? No, do not think. He did not belong. He could not continue.
"I am sorry Bianca."
He crawled op, so that he stood on the railing and let all the shadows envelop him. The nightmares and fears, failures and regrets. I would all disappear. He did not want to think about the afterlife it did not matter. He just needed to get away from the pain.
He swayed slightly in the wind, but just when he leaned towards the black nothingness, a light voice caught his attention.
The voice sang a song that he thought he had forgotten long time ago. It was a beautiful haunting tune, which made it sing in his bones and ache in his heart.
Close your eyes
I know what you see
The darkness is high
And you're in ten feet deep
But we've survived
More terrible monster than sleep
And you know i will be here, to tell you to breathe
Tu sei il mio soldatino (you're my little soldier)
la ragione per cui vivo (the reason i live)
non ti scordar di me (don't forget me)
io vegliero su di te (i'm watching over you)
It was not just some random song, it was Biancas´ song. The one she sang for him when he could not sleep at the school. He knew it was not her, it could not be but he let himself be carried away by the familiar feeling of calm.
stumbling lost
The last choice of all that you meet
It's the cost
Of rulling those 'neath you feet
Paths you've crossed, and trust you're trying to keep
You're exhausted
Listening for a voice that can't speak
Ma nico mio caro (Nico my precious)
Tu sei il mio soldatino (you're my little soldier)
la ragione ho vissuto (the reason i live)
non ti scordar di me (don't forget me)
io vegliero su di te (i'm watching over you)
That was normally the end when Bianca sang but this new light voice continued in an unknown last verse.
So you run
Through shadows you roam
seams undone
By the love you thought you could own
but he's just one
Of many that you might call home
And maybe someday, the bitter will fade from your bones
Fade from your bones...
eri il mio soldatino (you were my little soldier)
ora un principe oscuro (now a dark prince)
ma anche per te, c'e una luce (but even for you, there is a light)
che ad un'altra vita ti conduce (that leads you to another life)
Nico was crying. Hot heavy tears ran down his cheeks. A soft hand with slender fingers curled around his wrists and he was pulled into a warm embrace. A soft kiss was pressed tenderly to his forehead.
If people looked out their windows in that moment they would see a boy in black cloth enveloped in an embrace by a girl with blonde almost silver hair dressed in a white dress. The dress's layers swayed out in the wind as wings. They swayed in the wind and then when an extra strong gust of wind travelled by, they both leant over the edge, falling soundlessly towards their death.
As he could feel the kiss on his forehead, he was filled with peace and the first real smile since forever adorned his face as they fell towards his freedom.
When the authorities that morning fished op another poor soul who had committed suicide a smile was still on his face.
No one saw nor remembered yesterdays´ angel and only a few saw the gulden haired boy with tears in his eyes as he stared at the broken body of the boy in black.
If you are thinking about doing suicide, just know. I won´t judge this is your decision but know that you are perfect imperfect.
Love and peace to all – Maja