With out a soul there is no life.
Harsh winds blew against the lone figure sitting solemnly on the edge of the cliff. Her face showed a long trail of tears stains. Her eyes were like a glass. Emotionless. But if you look deep down you will see the pain, the suffering she went through as the result for unrequited love. The tattered uniform that she usually wore now was a bloody mess. Her whole body seems to be begging the winds to carry her away far away from where is now. Yet the winds to her seems to be playing with her just like someone she knows. The winds are harsh, like cutting her skin every time but not enough to end her unwanted life.
'Why? Why do you always do this to me? Am I just a fun toy to play with while the real thing is occupied with some other matters in her life? Or am I really just a tool for you? You don't need to care about my feelings or me.' Such thinking would usual make her cry but now all her tears have been used up crying from a previous event that involved Kikyo.
Flash back in Kagome's POV.
"Kikyo! Watch out!" Screamed Inuyasha as he rushed towards the youkai preparing to attack her from behind. The youkai did his attack, sending razor sharp leaves towards us. Inuyasha killed the youkai of course but he was too late the stop the attack from coming. It didn't just send it towards Kikyo but to Miroku, Sango and Shippo but it was fine for them because they were able to dodge and defend themselves.
It headed towards me. I tried my best in dodging and defending myself but I am no Miroku or Sango, I lack the training that they received in fighting. I am no youkai like Shippo or Inuyasha who have they powers and natural instinct in fighting or in Shippo's case- running. The attack hit me, as I was unable to dodge quickly or run fast enough. The pain was immense I was cut on my body. Thankful it missed my neck and head or was it a misfortune that it missed for the sight which greeted me next was the most painful one of all.
Inuyasha had Kikyo in his arms. Cradling her from just a shoulder wound whereas I on the other hand might as well die from the lost of blood and he would just be oblivious to it. It pained me that not only did he rush from my side to Kikyo's sided when the attack was initiated. Chose death over life. He chose to protect Kikyo when she was the one with a passionate hate towards him. She was the one who wanted to take him to hell with her. She is the one who was made out of earth and bones! She is the walking dead! Yet a living breathing human being could not match her. No matter how much love and care I gave Inuyasha, his love will always belong to the original not the copy.
At this point my tears were openly flowing down my face no matter how much I told them to stop. Miroku and Sango came to me and said something but I did not hear it for my heart ached and the sight. It seems though they have given up talking and trying to check my wounds because they went over to Inuyasha and tried to talk to him.
He ignored them. He was whisper HER name. He was holding HER in his arms. I couldn't take it anymore. I gathered up my remaining strength, ignored the pain soaring through my body as I stood up and ran. I am a coward. I weakling just like he said. I couldn't take the pain. I ran as far as I could. I didn't care where I was or if I might bump into any youkais. I just had to get away. I had to get away from THEM. I could briefly make out Shippo, Miroku and Sango screaming my name but I could clearly make out that Inuyasha's voice was not among them. Obviously he was too busy with Kikyo to worry about the likes of me.
In the end my running brought me here at this cliff. Where I wish to end everything. To end this meaningless life I'm leading right now. To see… to see if he would suffer the same amount of pain as he suffered for HER but of course this time it would be different. The death of his toy will not mean the same as the death of this love. Tears continued down my face just like how the river flows.
End of Kagome's Flashback
"Why?" Kagome whispered as she stood up on the edge of the cliff. 'Why do you lead me on like that Inuyasha? Why do you keep saying that you will protect me when you keep rushing to HER ever time she is in trouble? How could you protect me when the most pain I receive is from…you?'
Kagome stood there reflecting on all the happy and sad times that happened between Inuyasha and her unaware of someone watching her from afar.
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Inuyasha sat there all alone in the forest. Staring at the aftermath of the previous battle. Recalling what happened during the battle, a lone tear made its way down his face as he made no effort in wiping it away. 'Kagome… Kikyo… I love K…' thoughts of both women were swirling around his head as he tried to work out which on he love more.
'Kagome… I'm sorry… I … can't…' Inuyasha thought as more tears joined the lone tear down Inuyasha's face. 'Kagome I know you lov…no you care for me more then a friend me but I can't return the same feeling to you… I love Kikyo… don't I? Even without Kikyo our love could never be. You're from a different time. A time 500 years from now, you have a family there; your future is there, whereas I am from the past. Even if we did tried could I adapt to the things in your time. Would you be able to give up every thing from me? Don't think you would after all you are a full human and I am a worthless hanyou. A disgusting waste of space, no one would be able to accept me. I mean even Kikyo had some trouble with it so I decided to change human for her. I wish that…'
Flash back in Inuyasha's POV.
"Kikyo! Watch out!" I screamed as I saw the youkai about to attack her. I left Kagome's side thinking that Miroku and Sango will be able to keep her safe plus the attack couldn't go that far back. I killed the youkai before it could get a direct hit at Kikyo but to my dismay the attack was initiated before I finished killing it. I shield Kikyo but to my worst nightmare the attack reached the rest of the group. I reached Kagome and I was not beside her.
I watched helpless as the attack reached them. Miroku and Sango did their best in defending Kagome and themselves. Even little Shippo was using his kitsune fire to try his best to protect Kagome. I watched Kagome bravely dodge the attacks but she was unable to keep up with the speed that they were going as. Due to the fact that I was not paying attention to the attacks firing at me Kikyo ended up with a shoulder wound because of me not paying attention while holding her. I concentrated on the on the attacks.
Finally it ended. I could smell blood. I could smell the blood of my friends but what shocked me was that I smelt the blood of Kagome. Large amounts of it in fact. I was about to turning around when Kikyo stirred. The feelings I have for her blinded from the fact that Kagome was hurt. The world around us was gone as I entered a trance where I was deep in thought thinking about us.
"Kikyo," I said as I looked into her eyes. Her eyes reminded me of some one else. Some one with more beautiful eyes and a beautiful smile. Who? I couldn't seem to place her name.
I was kind of aware that Miroku and Sango where calling me while Shippo is standing staring off to another direction. But I didn't care. I was all in my on world thinking of this woman in my arms and the beautiful woman engraved in my mind. Eventually they left me alone and went off with Shippo.
"Inuyasha would you mind letting me go some time soon. Though NOW would be nice!" a voice snapped through my thoughts as I looked down at Kikyo. She had a face of pure hatred when released her.
"I am somewhat, surprised Inuyasha that you will choose me over that bitch of a fake imitation of me. I am glad that your love for me is greater then hers but I must tell you that I hate you with every essences of my body yet I love you in the same time. Come to hell with me Inuyasha then you will suffer the same pains that you put me through. Now this time you don't have that Kagome to save you. Come and spend eternity with me," Kikyo said while making herself closer and closer to Inuyasha.
'To go to hell? To end all these feelings I have? To end the suffering that this world is sure to begin me in the future? Future…Kagome…Kagome!' I pushed Kikyo away from me when I finally snapped out of the spell she was casting. But the thought of leaving everything behind was very enticing but one thing held me back. One person to be precise.
"I'm sorry, Kikyo but could you give me one week to think things through. After one week I will meet you at the exact spot you pinned me 50 years ago." Said Inuyasha hoping that Kikyo will agree.
"Fine. One week and no more! But mark my words Inuyasha you will come to hell with me in the very end. After all you are a hanyou who else besides me would love you?" asked Kikyo as she left me alone.
Alone. That's what I have been all through my life until I met Kikyo. I sat down on the ground unsure of what to do.
End of Inuyasha's flash back
'I love Kikyo…. She is my first love so I must love her. Kagome was hurt during the battle. I could smell her blood here.' Inuyasha thought as he walked over to where Kagome was injured. 'It looks like a lot of blood. I wonder if she is okay. Come to think of it where did she go? Did she go with the rest of the group? I should go look for her…but something inside me is stopping me from going. I have failed to protect her and hurt her instead. What kind of protector am I?! I couldn't even protect the woman that I lov… not I don't love her I love Kikyo. Yes I love Kikyo not Kagome. If I don't love Kagome then what is this pain I am experiencing just thinking that I love Kikyo instead? What is the feeling I have when I think of Kagome?'
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Kagome's eyes closed for a moment. 'Just one step… just one more step then it's all over.' Kagome slowly lifted her legs up, preparing herself for the pain that she would suffer but not for long when she finally off the cliff.
'Okay breath in… breath out… you can do this Kagome… think… Inuyasha and Kikyo married and having kids!' with this thought Kagome jumped. She was falling… only not to the jagged rocks beneath the cliff but back to the ground, which she was standing moments ago. Compliments to the person with their arms around her.
"Kagome-sama that is no way to die! You must not give up life!" Miroku said softly to her as he carried her further and further away from the edge of the cliff. Kagome did not response as a new batch of fresh tears came rolling down her face. Miroku patted her head a couple of times while waiting for Kagome to stop crying.
"Miroku-sama, I just can't take it any more! Why? Why? Does he always! Always choose her over me! Am I not pretty enough or am I always in the way or am I not as elegant and powerful as she is? Why? Why do I have to fall in love with the man who will never return my feelings?" cried Kagome.
"Kagome-sama, you know the answers to your own questions, the problem is not you. It's Inuyasha who doesn't know what he is missing out. You are unique and now one could match up to you. Love comes freely and whether that person accepts it or not is up to them. You have no choice in the matter whatsoever. Kagome-sama I believe that you already know this, if you love some then you will set them free, you would let them go even if it means in another person's arms, just as long as he is happy." Miroku explained as Kagome started to calm down.
"I know Miroku-sama, I know but it is easier said then done. I have tried to do it for months now. Every time he goes to Kikyo I say the same things to myself. As long as he is happy then I am happy but now I am finding it harder as the days goes by. I feel so much pain from unrequited love. I know he is happy with Kikyo because he chose it but why is it that he is happy but I can't feel this happiness? I just want the end all the pain especially when I will not be able to love again nor will others love me," Miroku shivered at the tone and softness that Kagome said it in. It didn't help that the atmosphere around them was eerie.
"But Kagome-chan, I love you." Said a soft voice. Looking down Kagome can see Shippo blurry eyed, at the brink of crying clutching her ripped skirt. Ignoring the pain she bent down and picked up Shippo.
"Kagome-chan, don't leave me. You're my only best friend and I love you for it," Sango said softly as tears dropped down her face.
"Kagome-sama, as you can see we all love you. To give up your life for Inuyasha who does not even acknowledge the fact that you were about to commit suicide for him is not worth it. Think about your family, think about friends, and think about us. It may be true that you will not be able to love another man like you love Inuyasha but are you really going to leave us when we all treasure and love you as our best friends?" Miroku asked gently.
"Minna, gomen nasai!" Kagome said as she pulled all three of them in a bear hug.
"I'm sorry I didn't even think about it" cried Kagome, "I promise you that I would never to that again. Your right Miroku, Inuyasha is worth a lot to me but if I am committing some thing as selfish as suicide for him. Then it is not worth it. I have you guys. My best friends, my family and my future ahead. I know I will love Inuyasha till the end of time. Could you… would you people help me live while bearing the hurt knowing that Inuyasha is with another because I don't… I don't think that I am capable of doing it anymore."
"Of course, Kagome-chan, what are friends for if we don't? We'll take care of you know. You have been strong but everyone needs some one to support him or her every once in a while and that where we come in, right Miroku-sama, Shippo-chan?" Sango inquired.
"You bet! If anyone dares to hurt you Kagome-chan I will beat them up!" exclaimed Shippo.
"You are absolutely right Sango-chan. Couldn't have said better myself." Miroku replied while moving closer to Sango. "Kagome-sama it's really cold out here and I think you should go back to Kaede-sama to get those wounds fixed."
"Thank you guys. You are really the best you know that?" Kagome said with a soft smile. "You will understand if I told you that I want to go home wouldn't you?"
"Certainly we understand completely." Miroku replied. Kagome and Shippo walked ahead with Shippo in the lead to show Kagome back to the village.
"I really surprised Miroku-sama. You have hugged, carried, and stood relatively close to Kagome-chan and you did not steal a feel with her wearing those torn cloths?" Sango asked lifting her eyebrow up quizzically.
"Sango-chan, I'm hurt! How could you think of me like that? Especially when I know Kagome-sama's condition. You should be ashamed of yourself!" exclaimed Miroku. Startled by the sudden outburst Sango stood there stuttering incoherent words.
"I guess I just I have to make up for my lost now." Miroku said while caressing Sango's backside. Which of course earned him an instant red hand mark on his face.
"Shame on you! Accusing me then doing that!" Sango huffed then ran to catch up to the others leaving him behind.
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'It's been six days ever since that day. I have gone home that night and now even after six days Inuyasha has not come to get me. I guess he has finally decided that he would get Kikyo to collect the shards instead of me. His serious this time…' Kagome thought as she worked on her English assignment. 'I should stop thinking about him and start thinking about other stuff like… Hojo! His a nice guy maybe * bit * naïve but his a nice guy. Only thing is that he doesn't walk around in a red kimono, with silver hair and amber eyes not the mention the kawaii ears and carries around a sword.'
Kagome sighed. "I' m never going to get over him."
Unknown to her Inuyasha has been sitting outside on his branch staring at her through the tiny gap allowed through the curtains. [Yes, HIS branch. You know how over protective and possessive dogs are, especially a certain silver haired amber eyed dog.] He had been wondering whether or not he should go in seeing that she's in deep thought and haven't even noticed his there. There is something that he has to tell Kagome. Deciding to take the risk of a thousands sits, Inuyasha gently pried open the windows and landed softly careful in not disturbing Kagome.
"What do you want Inuyasha?" Kagome asked quietly, not looking up from her desk or stopped writing for her English assignment.
Inuyasha winced at the way Kagome greeted him. Walking over to where Kagome is Inuyasha pleaded. "Kagome, onegai, come back I need you there."
"Iie, you don't need me there. You need the shikon shard. Well here they are." Kagome said in the same monotone as she used before. She threw the bottle, which contained the shards behind her to where she heard Inuyasha's voice without even looking back.
Inuyasha caught it with ease. He began to search franticly for reasons for her to stay with him and never leave his side again. "Kagome, I need you there to sense…"
"Get Kikyo to do it she would be able to do a much better job then me anyway. Plus she isn't a weak, defenceless and stupid bitch like me. She is a powerful, elegant, beautiful smart miko. I'm sure she would do it much quick then me seeing she doesn't have to go through time travel." Kagome said still not looking up.
"Kagome… there are some things that only you can do and no one else… DAMN IT the least thing you can do is look at me Kagome!" Inuyasha shouted frustrated with all these emotions going on inside him. Still she did not turn to face him. Angry, Inuyasha walked over to where Kagome was and twisted her around. Upon doing so Inuyasha saw why Kagome had refused to turn around. She was crying. And it was his fault. His heart wrenched at the sight of her tears.
"Inuyasha, please don't make it any harder than it is already. There is NOTHING that I can do that no one else can! If you are talking about Shippo and the others, they understand they agreed in letting me go! They can take care of themselves! If it's the Shikon shards you talking about, Kikyo could took for it too like I said early! There is no use for me to be there anymore! I … I use to have a reason to go there but now… I seem to have lost all reasoning and accept the truth in front of me," cried Kagome.
"But Kagome, you don't understand there is som…"
"No buts! There is nothing for me to understand after all as I recall I am a worthless, useless, weak and pathetic excuse to be human…. No wait there is something that only I could do." Uttered Kagome as she stood up and approached Inuyasha.
Inuyasha mentally slapped himself a couple of times for say such cruel and harsh words to her. A small flame of hope rose when he saw Kagome walking towards him only to have it died when she reached for the prayer beads around his neck. The only link and thing that they share. 'No please Kagome anything but this.'
"NO!" yelled Inuyasha as he grabbed Kagome's wrist and pulled her into a hug.
"No Kagome please don't do this to me! I need you! Not for the shikon no tama not because Shippo and the others need you but because I need you! You are like the air I breathe in I can't last a day with out smelling your wonderful scent! You know what hell it has been for me these past days and every time that you go back home. I go insane! I can't take it! You mean the world to me Kagome! Please don't break you promise! Please don't leave my side…" Inuyasha whispered in Kagome's ears.
Kagome tried to push him away but his hold on her is strong and it's proven that Inuyasha is way stronger than she is. "Inuyasha don't say thing that you don' t mean. You don't mean those things that you said and even if you did it is because I look like Kikyo isn't? Did Kikyo die or something and now you need a replacement so you go to me? I'm going to set you free Inuyasha aren't yo happy now that I don't have a power over you? Isn't this what you want to be free? And if you really care about me like how you said just then, then you wouldn't hurt me! You know I that I love you! Yet you keep going back to Kikyo and forgetting about me every time you see her. Please Inuyasha just leave me?"
With Kagome's confession of love Inuyasha was shocked for a moment but was snapped out of it when he felt Kagome trying to get out of his grasp again. "Kagome…please don't do this to me! You are no replacement and I am sorry for hurting you so much! You are Kagome and Kagome is Kagome not anyone else. No one, NO ONE can replace you and you can replace no one. It pains me to see you depressed and it pains me even more knowing that I am always the one causing the pain. I will do anything to repent for the hurt I gave you. Hell! I would even be happy if you osuwari me a hundred time if only you will trust me again… love me again," Inuyasha cried as he hugged Kagome very tightly.
Kagome jerked at the dampness on her shoulder as she wondered what it was then it came across her mind. 'Inuyasha is crying for… me.' "Inuyasha…"
"Shh… let me finish. I will wait for eternity if I have to because if I can't marry you Kagome as wife then I will never marry at all. I love you and I was a fool to hurt you so by believing that I only love Kikyo. It's true that I did like Kikyo but I thought it was love. Now I can see that what I feel for Kikyo is nothing compared to what I feel for you, Kagome, the woman who woke me up from my world and took care of me from the beginning not caring whether or not I'm a human or a full youkai. You accepted me just as a hanyou. I know it's too soon for us to even marry but I know that you will be the only woman because you Kagome is the only woman alive that I love.
Inuyasha lifted Kagome's head up by her chin. The intensity of the glazes is enough for a knife to cut through it and remain stuck. Ever so slowly, Inuyasha lower his head down to Kagome's. His eyes however never left hers as if he is searching for some search of rejection. Gently he captured her lips. 'So soft' he thought before a wave of passion course right through his body, the intensity of the kiss increased because of this but what made his heart soar was that Kagome was responding in the same form. After what seems to be year but really less then a minute they broke apart. Kagome blushed under passionate look he was giving her.
"Inuyasha no matter how much I love you, you know as well as I do that our love could not be we are from different times practically different words. How will we…"
"It doesn't matter Kagome. It doesn't matter what time we are from because as long as there is time, as long as I have a breath, we will be together."
"Oh Inuyasha!" Kagome said while hugging Inuyasha. For the rest of the night they stayed like that just cuddling next to each other and whispering words of love and promises until they fell asleep.
The dawn of the next day came too quickly for them. It was the day that Inuyasha was to meet Kikyo. Kagome packed the necessities that she always brings along. Being the gentlemen that he is Inuyasha carried the overweight bag to the well for her.
When they arrived at Inuyasha's time. Kagome notice the discomfort coming from Inuyasha. "What's wrong Inuyasha? I thought you would be happy coming back to your time."
"It's not that Kagome. I … I have to meet Kikyo today." Inuyasha said. Even though Kagome knew that Inuyasha loves her and not Kikyo she could not help but feel slight scared that Inuyasha is going to choose Kikyo over her.
"Kagome it will do me great honor if you accompany me to the Sacred tree (grr… that just sound wrong but I forgot what it's called in Japanese, gomen ne) and stay with me during the visit of the dead miko Kikyo?" Inuyasha asked bowing down while holding her hand. Kagome giggled at the sight he made.
"Ne, Inuyasha you should really stop that it makes you look like some ancient person…. Wait that's perfectly fine for you seeing you ARE from ancient Japan." Giggled Kagome.
"Okay, I just have to take that as a yes," Inuyasha said before he picked up Kagome bride style (hehe…*^^*) all the way to his destination. Waiting there already, was Kikyo, she looked up at Inuyasha and gave him a look of total disgust and hatred.
"What is the meaning of this Inuyasha?? You are meant to go to hell with me today? What is this bitch doing here?" screamed Kikyo, which was very unladylike and very unlike her.
Looking at Kikyo calming and still carrying Kagome, Inuyasha said. "Isn't it obvious?? I'm not going to hell but you are coz Kagome need her soul back and don't call Kagome a bitch only I am allowed to call her that seeing that she is MY bitch now!" With the last comment Kagome whacked him lightly on the chest while saying a small and soft "Oi!" This of course took Inuyasha's attention away from Kikyo and to Kagome giving her a loving smile.
"I can call anyone a bitch, Inuyasha you bloody traitor! You love me not that bitch over there! You bitch give me back my Inuyasha!!" shrieked Kikyo as she lounged for Kagome who was in Inuyasha's arms. Being the skilled fighter he easily dodged her attacks.
"THAT'S ENOUGH!" bellowed Inuyasha "You are meant to be dead in the beginning now go back to the place where you belong and give Kagome back her part of HER soul. Please Kikyo I don't want to hurt you but if you persist I might have to kill you. You must understand that Kagome is my other half. My other soul and you took a part away from her and without her soul she would die. I love her too much to let that happen and if she is, too die I wouldn't hesitate to go to hell with her just as long as I could be with her forever. Now Kikyo are you willing to leave painlessly or do you want me to come and slit your throat.
"You wouldn't dare Inuyasha and I would never give it back" Kikyo shrieked as she summoned her youkais. The battle was easy and brief. In the end Inuyasha had slit Kikyo's throat and Kagome's soul returned to her.
"I love you, Inuyasha," said Inuyasha as picked her up again and started heading towards the village.
"I love you too Kagome and remember…" Inuyasha said. The rest of his words where carried off with the wind but Kagome heard them nevertheless.
"No matter what happens,
No matter what obstacles are ahead of us,
As long as there is time,
As long as I have a breath,
We will be together."
The end!!
Author's note!
This has got to be the FIRST complete sap that I have ever done!! So people how about some reviews to tell me how I did in my fic. The main thing is REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! I know you ppl get sick of the word review but authors love them *^^* sowie if the ending part is not good actually from the 2nd half the story I started getting hungry and want a midnight snack that's why I kinda lost concentration.