Okay, I'm REALLY bored right now.
A Weird Kind Of Interview...
Me: Ash, why are you so thick?
Ash: I'm thick?
Me: Ash, who is your real dad?
Ash: Uh... um... I don't have one.
Me: Everyone has to have had a dad sometime.
Ash: Wa? Not me.
Misty: Brock, I think you should explain some things to him...
Me: Misty, how do you get your hair like that? I know some people who've tried to get it like that, but not even wire kept it sideways like that.
Misty: Are you insulting my hair? It's always been like that. I don't fuss with my hair. Brock spends hours on his though.
Me: Brock, why do you spend hours to get your hair the way most people's look when they've just got out of bed?
Brock: It's how my dad's was when he met my mom. She was a really nice mom so I'm sorta hoping I can find a girlfriend as kind as her. Well... she was.
Me: Brock, what about that Wilhelmina or whatever her name was? Didn't she really like you?
Brock: Yeah, I know, I... It's kinda complicated. I'm not sure I'm really ready for a real relationship like that right now. And I don't think I could leave Ash and Misty alone together...
Misty: What do you mean by that?
Brock: Uh... you argue a lot. You might kill each other.
Me: Brock, what do you think of Tracey?
Brock: I guess he's an okay guy... Except he tried to replace me, and even tried to copy me. In a very lame way. If I were the fighting sort maybe I would bash his head in... Just a little.
Me: Ash and Misty, how do you view Brock and Tracey?
Misty: Brock's like an older brother. I can go to him with most of my problems. I don't know Tracey as well, though, so he's more just like a friend.
Ash: Brock's a better cook than Tracey, and I know Brock better than Tracey. Brock's like an older brother, like Misty said.
Me: Misty, what do you think of Ash? In a... you know what I mean, like like sort of way? And Brock? And come to that, James?
Misty: Ash is... is... Iusedtohaveabigcrushonhim, but he's so thick he didn't realise. Now he's just like an annoying younger brother. Who complains a lot. Brock is... Brock's never been interested in me. Though I don't like him paying attention to other girls. We need him to cook, and be there for us, and I don't want him to get hurt. James... James would be a cute guy if he wasn't in Team Rocket.
Me: Ash, what do you think of Misty?
Ash: She's my best friend. Pikachu's my best Pokémon friend, but Misty talks the same language as me. Sometimes she gets really violent, or she insults me, but I like her.
Pikachu: Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikkkkkkkkkkaaaaaaaa! * I'M your best friend! * **thundershocks**
Me: If you could own any Pokémon in the world, what would it be?
Ash: All of the rare ones. Zapdos, Articuno, Moltres, Mew, Lugia... They're all really strong so I could beat Gary and be the world's best trainer.
Misty: Golduck... If I wanted to be greedy like Ash I'd say a Tentacruel and a Vaporeon too.
Brock: Any Pokémon as long as a cute girl had one of the opposite gender so we could breed them together, and bring me and her together too. A Growlithe and a Chansey would be nice as well, because they remind me of two of my favourite girls. And maybe one day Geodude will become a Golem.
Tracey: Any Pokémon that could help me with my Pokémon watching is cool with me.
Jesse: Pikachu. The Twerp's Pikachu so we could take it to the Boss.
James: Yeah. Maybe. But then we might have to work with different partners if we complete this mission. I'd like to have Growly back, but he has to stay back at the mansion.
Cassidy: Something rare to take to the Boss so he would like us even more.
Butch: Ever since I was little I wanted a Pokémon that's a bit weird, like Staryu, so it would understand when people make fun of my voice.
Misty: Staryu is NOT weird!
Butch: Different then.
Me: What TV programmes do you guys watch? If you have a TV, that is.
Misty: Brock's got a TV in his bag. I like all the soaps, and the romantic stuff. And animé, sometimes.
Ash: I only watch Pokémon battles, like the leagues. Sometimes, when I'm visiting Mom, I watch the tapes she's got of me battling on TV.
Brock: I like cookery programmes, so I can get more ideas on how to cook. And the ones that tell you about Pokémon breeding.
Butch: The most wanted criminals. I've always wanted to be on one of those.
Cassidy: We work a lot, unlike certain people who are always slacking off, but if I do get a chance I watch soaps. And most wanted criminals, with Butch.
James: I like comedies. It's good to see someone making more of a fool of themselves than me.
Jesse: Meowth and James hog the TV so I watch whatever they watch. But I like the martial arts; I've always wanted to learn karate or something.
Meowth: Anything dat's got cats in it.
Me: Uh, Butch... some people think you've got a weird voice. Why is it so... different?
Butch: Well, my dad had a "weird" voice, and my grandfather, and probably my great grandfather. Also, you could blame it on the dubbers. Kosaburo never had a "weird" voice. Anyway, that twerp kid has no eyes. And the other twerp has a strange voice, too.
Me: Good point. Brock, where'd your eyes go?
Brock: Why does everyone ask that? I have got eyes! It's hereditary, okay? Dad has them. Grandpa had them.
Me: Brock, what happened to your mum? I heard that she died, but that Takeshi's mum ran off or something.
Brock: She disappeared. Who told you she died?
Me: Your dad.
Brock: He doesn't know what happened to her. He didn't want her to sound as if she deserted her family. Maybe she is dead.
Me: Which Pokémon are you most like?
Meowth: I'm jus' like a Meowth. Dat's probably cuz I am one.
James: I don't know what I'd be, but Jesse would be Flareon, Botch would be a Politoed, and the Twerp would be a Magikarp.
Jesse: Why a Flareon?
James: They have bad tempers... but they're very cute.
Ash: Misty would be a Voltorb, kinda ugly, with a really bad temper.
Misty: Why you... Ash would a bug type. He really bugs me. Or Psyduck. They both get on my nerves.
Me: **sigh** Jesse, why did you and Cassidy fall out?
Jesse: She's an evil b--
Cassidy: I am NOT!
Jesse: She was asking me.
Cassidy: And you lied!
Jesse: I did NOT!
Me: Okay, okay. Don't worry about it.
Me: What are your favourite films?
Misty: When I was younger I loved The Little Mermaid. I just so wanted to be Ariel...
Ash: **mutters** Too bad you look like the sea witch.
Misty: WHAT?
Meowth: Cats.
James: I'd love a film that starred Jesse and me. But we haven't done that yet. The first film I ever watched with Jesse was Lady And The Tramp, so that's pretty special to me.
Jesse: Yeah, I agree. It's such a sweet film...
Butch: I like the films where everyone goes round shooting everyone else. When I was younger I liked Superman and stuff.
Me: Okay everyone, I want to see exactly what you keep in your backpacks **looks at her watch** I really hope we have time for this.
Ash: A spare Pokéball, sleeping bag, some Pokémon food, money, this photo of Mom and Prof. Oak...
Me: What's this? A diary? Ash keeps a diary?!?
Ash: Give that back!
James: Dust; fluff; crumbs; yuck, Meowth's hairball; plans to get Pikachu; empty wallet; photo of me; photo of Jesse; photo of me and Jesse; a photo of my parents and that evil Jessebelle; my last bottle cap; a rose; a hair brush; a mirror; uh, **quietly** my diary...
Misty: A photo of me and my sisters and my parents; sleeping bag; blanket; my Pokéballs; money; hair brush; a mirror, somestuffyoudon'twannahearabout; oh, you don't wanna see my diary...
Jesse: Girl stuff; makeup; hair spray, lots of hair spray; pictures of me and James; a picture of my mom...
Brock: TV, table, two chairs, lots of food, a refrigerator; bottles of drink; Pokéballs; photo album of Dad and Mom and my siblings; sewing stuff; change of underwear; blanket; sleeping bag; table cloth; tea set; camping stove; hair gel; diary; uh oh, pages "borrowed" from other people's diaries...
Misty: I wondered where that page disappeared to... Brock...
Brock: A lot of dust and stuff, various guides to Pokémon leagues, a spare sleeping bag...
Me: Okay, okay, we don't wanna be here all day.
Brock: And a Boulder Badge!
A Weird Kind Of Interview...
Me: Ash, why are you so thick?
Ash: I'm thick?
Me: Ash, who is your real dad?
Ash: Uh... um... I don't have one.
Me: Everyone has to have had a dad sometime.
Ash: Wa? Not me.
Misty: Brock, I think you should explain some things to him...
Me: Misty, how do you get your hair like that? I know some people who've tried to get it like that, but not even wire kept it sideways like that.
Misty: Are you insulting my hair? It's always been like that. I don't fuss with my hair. Brock spends hours on his though.
Me: Brock, why do you spend hours to get your hair the way most people's look when they've just got out of bed?
Brock: It's how my dad's was when he met my mom. She was a really nice mom so I'm sorta hoping I can find a girlfriend as kind as her. Well... she was.
Me: Brock, what about that Wilhelmina or whatever her name was? Didn't she really like you?
Brock: Yeah, I know, I... It's kinda complicated. I'm not sure I'm really ready for a real relationship like that right now. And I don't think I could leave Ash and Misty alone together...
Misty: What do you mean by that?
Brock: Uh... you argue a lot. You might kill each other.
Me: Brock, what do you think of Tracey?
Brock: I guess he's an okay guy... Except he tried to replace me, and even tried to copy me. In a very lame way. If I were the fighting sort maybe I would bash his head in... Just a little.
Me: Ash and Misty, how do you view Brock and Tracey?
Misty: Brock's like an older brother. I can go to him with most of my problems. I don't know Tracey as well, though, so he's more just like a friend.
Ash: Brock's a better cook than Tracey, and I know Brock better than Tracey. Brock's like an older brother, like Misty said.
Me: Misty, what do you think of Ash? In a... you know what I mean, like like sort of way? And Brock? And come to that, James?
Misty: Ash is... is... Iusedtohaveabigcrushonhim, but he's so thick he didn't realise. Now he's just like an annoying younger brother. Who complains a lot. Brock is... Brock's never been interested in me. Though I don't like him paying attention to other girls. We need him to cook, and be there for us, and I don't want him to get hurt. James... James would be a cute guy if he wasn't in Team Rocket.
Me: Ash, what do you think of Misty?
Ash: She's my best friend. Pikachu's my best Pokémon friend, but Misty talks the same language as me. Sometimes she gets really violent, or she insults me, but I like her.
Pikachu: Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikkkkkkkkkkaaaaaaaa! * I'M your best friend! * **thundershocks**
Me: If you could own any Pokémon in the world, what would it be?
Ash: All of the rare ones. Zapdos, Articuno, Moltres, Mew, Lugia... They're all really strong so I could beat Gary and be the world's best trainer.
Misty: Golduck... If I wanted to be greedy like Ash I'd say a Tentacruel and a Vaporeon too.
Brock: Any Pokémon as long as a cute girl had one of the opposite gender so we could breed them together, and bring me and her together too. A Growlithe and a Chansey would be nice as well, because they remind me of two of my favourite girls. And maybe one day Geodude will become a Golem.
Tracey: Any Pokémon that could help me with my Pokémon watching is cool with me.
Jesse: Pikachu. The Twerp's Pikachu so we could take it to the Boss.
James: Yeah. Maybe. But then we might have to work with different partners if we complete this mission. I'd like to have Growly back, but he has to stay back at the mansion.
Cassidy: Something rare to take to the Boss so he would like us even more.
Butch: Ever since I was little I wanted a Pokémon that's a bit weird, like Staryu, so it would understand when people make fun of my voice.
Misty: Staryu is NOT weird!
Butch: Different then.
Me: What TV programmes do you guys watch? If you have a TV, that is.
Misty: Brock's got a TV in his bag. I like all the soaps, and the romantic stuff. And animé, sometimes.
Ash: I only watch Pokémon battles, like the leagues. Sometimes, when I'm visiting Mom, I watch the tapes she's got of me battling on TV.
Brock: I like cookery programmes, so I can get more ideas on how to cook. And the ones that tell you about Pokémon breeding.
Butch: The most wanted criminals. I've always wanted to be on one of those.
Cassidy: We work a lot, unlike certain people who are always slacking off, but if I do get a chance I watch soaps. And most wanted criminals, with Butch.
James: I like comedies. It's good to see someone making more of a fool of themselves than me.
Jesse: Meowth and James hog the TV so I watch whatever they watch. But I like the martial arts; I've always wanted to learn karate or something.
Meowth: Anything dat's got cats in it.
Me: Uh, Butch... some people think you've got a weird voice. Why is it so... different?
Butch: Well, my dad had a "weird" voice, and my grandfather, and probably my great grandfather. Also, you could blame it on the dubbers. Kosaburo never had a "weird" voice. Anyway, that twerp kid has no eyes. And the other twerp has a strange voice, too.
Me: Good point. Brock, where'd your eyes go?
Brock: Why does everyone ask that? I have got eyes! It's hereditary, okay? Dad has them. Grandpa had them.
Me: Brock, what happened to your mum? I heard that she died, but that Takeshi's mum ran off or something.
Brock: She disappeared. Who told you she died?
Me: Your dad.
Brock: He doesn't know what happened to her. He didn't want her to sound as if she deserted her family. Maybe she is dead.
Me: Which Pokémon are you most like?
Meowth: I'm jus' like a Meowth. Dat's probably cuz I am one.
James: I don't know what I'd be, but Jesse would be Flareon, Botch would be a Politoed, and the Twerp would be a Magikarp.
Jesse: Why a Flareon?
James: They have bad tempers... but they're very cute.
Ash: Misty would be a Voltorb, kinda ugly, with a really bad temper.
Misty: Why you... Ash would a bug type. He really bugs me. Or Psyduck. They both get on my nerves.
Me: **sigh** Jesse, why did you and Cassidy fall out?
Jesse: She's an evil b--
Cassidy: I am NOT!
Jesse: She was asking me.
Cassidy: And you lied!
Jesse: I did NOT!
Me: Okay, okay. Don't worry about it.
Me: What are your favourite films?
Misty: When I was younger I loved The Little Mermaid. I just so wanted to be Ariel...
Ash: **mutters** Too bad you look like the sea witch.
Misty: WHAT?
Meowth: Cats.
James: I'd love a film that starred Jesse and me. But we haven't done that yet. The first film I ever watched with Jesse was Lady And The Tramp, so that's pretty special to me.
Jesse: Yeah, I agree. It's such a sweet film...
Butch: I like the films where everyone goes round shooting everyone else. When I was younger I liked Superman and stuff.
Me: Okay everyone, I want to see exactly what you keep in your backpacks **looks at her watch** I really hope we have time for this.
Ash: A spare Pokéball, sleeping bag, some Pokémon food, money, this photo of Mom and Prof. Oak...
Me: What's this? A diary? Ash keeps a diary?!?
Ash: Give that back!
James: Dust; fluff; crumbs; yuck, Meowth's hairball; plans to get Pikachu; empty wallet; photo of me; photo of Jesse; photo of me and Jesse; a photo of my parents and that evil Jessebelle; my last bottle cap; a rose; a hair brush; a mirror; uh, **quietly** my diary...
Misty: A photo of me and my sisters and my parents; sleeping bag; blanket; my Pokéballs; money; hair brush; a mirror, somestuffyoudon'twannahearabout; oh, you don't wanna see my diary...
Jesse: Girl stuff; makeup; hair spray, lots of hair spray; pictures of me and James; a picture of my mom...
Brock: TV, table, two chairs, lots of food, a refrigerator; bottles of drink; Pokéballs; photo album of Dad and Mom and my siblings; sewing stuff; change of underwear; blanket; sleeping bag; table cloth; tea set; camping stove; hair gel; diary; uh oh, pages "borrowed" from other people's diaries...
Misty: I wondered where that page disappeared to... Brock...
Brock: A lot of dust and stuff, various guides to Pokémon leagues, a spare sleeping bag...
Me: Okay, okay, we don't wanna be here all day.
Brock: And a Boulder Badge!