Times are changing quicker than he ever imagined, the urbanizing and industrialization of a village happening before his eyes. There's something about everything happening so fast that feels strange, and he can only learn to accept. He had always told the old man Hokage that he would be at the forefront of these changes, leading the charge.. eager and prepared. But he isn't. It's tiresome and he feels old beyond his years. Sometimes it's like the old man was the only one who really understood him.
Konohamaru knew the future was to be significantly different than his past, so he held onto what he could of his childhood. He comes from a respected, powerful clan that won't be forgotten any time soon. Part of him will always be the 'honorable grandson' of Konoha. As a kid, he wanted to rush things. More than ever. To graduate, to get promoted, to fight, to sacrifice.. everything he was conditioned to do. He now finds himself wishing he could slow it down. Still, he held onto.. class reunions, old-fashioned ninja attire, photographs that felt like they were only taken yesterday... but mostly, it was memories.
Memories of an innocent life, an innocent love.
Let me go back.
He's young but so is she, and although they grow up in the same era, it is not together.
She's preoccupied with the Uchiha's approval, blindly worshipping a future criminal while he's busy idolizing Naruto and causing ruckus within the village. She fusses over her hair, spending hours in the bathroom, rivaling with the Haruno over who's prettier. He spies on academy students back then for sport, usually entertainment but also observation.
He envies them.
That girl is in the top row, the one with the long blonde hair and stark blue eyes, the one he never knew was at the top of the class. The one who had been nameless to him up until she became his uncle's student. She catches his attention regardless, and the only interaction he remembers having with her are warnings for him and his annoying friends to stay far away from the flower shop.
"I don't need you kids messing up all my hard work," She scolds before they can touch things and smear their cloudy fingerprints on freshly polished glass. "so go on somewhere, you hear me?"
"Konohamaru, take your friends and go somewhere."
"I'm training, you little punk. We'll play later."
"Your grandfather is in his studies, so go play, won't you, please?"
He hears more ways of being told to 'go away' than anything in his childhood. As a kid you're thought to be a burden. That was part of why he wanted to grow up so fast. He wanted to be seen and heard back then. He understands now that he sees what Genin are like.
Was it that bad?
Occasionally, he is permitted to watch Team 10's progress at the training grounds. He's excited because the only other time he's included is when Asuma allows him to tag along to their barbecue dinners. So as long as he behaved and watched quietly enough, he could stay.
So Konohamaru watched, alright.
She becomes more beautiful to him with age, working on her abilities as a kunoichi and less on others. Mind wiser and tresses shorter, she pays him scarce attention. He has nothing more than a crush on her, blushing furiously if she teases him about his height or lackluster performance in coordination.
Shikamaru and Chōji interact with him sparingly, caring to show him some basics of their group technique. He's intrigued until..
"You may have it good as a Sarutobi," She announces as she wipes sweat from her brow, "but you'll never understand the talent and skill it takes to master the Ino-Shika-Cho formation."
"Oh yeah?" Konohamaru remembered getting flustered, "That's nothing! I'm gonna run this village so just wait. You'll see!"
"Man, first Naruto, now you?" Shikamaru yawned, "these people with outlandish ambitions all of a sudden.. troublesome."
"I'll bet on him before Naruto," Ino laughs, and they laugh too.
Konohamaru takes the joke impersonally, and it only pushes him to impress those around him.. to surpass their expectations of a Hokage's grandson, of a clan member with a predictable future, of someone with no identity, of someone who isn't taken seriously.
The irony of the situation now makes him laugh.
He wants to make her notice.
Scratching the surface of memorable moments is impossible without the difficult ones.
It's hard to breathe all of a sudden.
He can still hear the words ring in his ears, when he gets the rare chance to think of nothing.
"I'm sorry I have to be the one to tell you this, but.. It's about your uncle Asuma.. listen. Konohamaru.. He's been killed in battle."
He cries onto Kurenai's apron and throws his arms around her. The news hits him like a wave. "What about his team!? How? Why?"
"They're okay, but... they couldn't save him in time, honey."
Her face and makeup are streaked from tears, and he wishes he hadn't asked. She sobs onto his shoulder, and for once, he feels like he should be strong for someone else. He had always liked Kurenai. She generously gave him all the special treatment he was used to as the Third's grandson. It was obvious to him of the romantic relationship the two shared. Her pregnancy comes as a shock to him later on. They comfort each other up until the day of the funeral.
Konohamaru tells himself to stay strong, not just for his own sake, but for his clan. The loss was tremendous, after all.
"You'll get through this."
He ends up mourning softly, trying to be a pillar for the Sarutobi family. He can't help but eavesdrop as Chōji and Ino discuss their teammate's absence. It isn't his business, but he doesn't think they notice.
The pity is too much and he wants to go home.
She catches his shoulders as guests start to disperse, looking him deep in the eyes.
"Konohamaru, I need you to know something."
He goes to dry his eyes, but she stops him with one hand.
"Are you okay?
"I'm fine," He mumbles and stares past her. "what do you have to tell me?"
"Asuma meant a lot to me," She chokes up, tightening her grip. "and I have to tell you that.."
"What is it?" He gets impatient with her, nearly pulling his hand away in anger.
"I-," She seems to hit rock bottom, whispering to herself. "I tried to save him. It wasn't enough. I'm so sorry."
"I really did try, I swear. I understand.. if you hate me."
Konohamaru takes this in, gradually building the spirit to make her feel better. "Ino."
"I'm sorry."
He is slightly put off, incredulous at the fact she believes any of this was her fault. "Why would I hate you?"
"It is my fault!" She kneels completely, "he trusted us. I wasn't there. If I were a better medic.."
"I don't blame you," Konohamaru blurts out, "don't say stuff like that. I know.. It was Akatsuki. You guys did your best. We just have to get through this together, okay?"
Ino embraces him then, and he staggers backward. Apologizes to him repeatedly for nothing. He feels her trying desperately to clear her conscience, but he says nothing for a long while.
"He loved you so much.."
He wraps his arms around her as she weeps.
"I know."
Moegi and Udon are with him as he treks through woods, scraping through shrubs and poison ivy. It is postwar, and they're supposed to be rebuilding and all incredibly boring glory.
But he's tired and he's able to convince them that even the best ninja slack off every now and again. Naruto is always his example.
"What if sensei catches us?" Moegi worries, "we'll be in trouble!"
"No we won't, I never get caught!"
"You always get caught," Udon chimes in.
"Hey, shut up!"
"We should really take this more seriously. Like everyone else."
The sudden hushed voices take them by surprise, the rustling of leaves and giggles enough to make them freeze. And what was that? Heavy breathing?
"Oh, like them?" Konohamaru gets cocky, already off to find the source with Udon and Moegi in tow.
"What are you doing?!"
Only what I do best, he thinks. Spying. "Shhh! They'll hear us."
He had gotten better at stealth since his training with Naruto, and what was the point of learning if you never got to test it out?
And he isn't scared of getting caught anyway. He's not scared of anything.
"Who?" Moegi peers around the bushes curiously.
The familiarity of the voices does not hit him until then, and his jaw drops in awe. "Whoa, baby."
Udon covers his eyes. "We shouldn't be seeing this!"
The two older shinobi are only focused on each other, talking secretively and tangling their limbs together.
"We'd better go."
Konohamaru can't make out what they're saying, but he recognizes the blonde right off the bat. And the other as.. a member of Kurenai Yuhi's team? After a few more seconds of staring and brain racking, it becomes unmistakable. That mangy, tall, dark-haired boy in the leather jacket. Hold on. He's nothing special, is he? Since when were they together?
An air of fury breezes through his insides, and he can see now why the older ones have a much better time. They sure are working hard toward reconstruction, right?
Udon has joined in on the staring now, albeit reluctantly. "Wow."
"Quit staring, you pervs!"
The Inuzuka leans forward, thrusting them into a tree. He works on getting her out of that nice purple blouse, rendering himself shirtless in the process. They never stop touching each other. She moans as he kisses her neck over and over, throwing her head back.
He feels himself get embarrassed from watching, but it's like he can't look away. And although he isn't too interested in Kiba's part, he is interested in her.
"Let's just assume they're studying and go on!" Moegi snaps in an exasperated whisper, "come on! They're studying!"
"So am I," Konohamaru says, not budging.
A dog's cold, wet nose presses against him and he nearly falls over. "What the-"
The canine is massive, growling and not looking particularly friendly. "Nice.. nice boy! Now shoo!"
He snarls menacingly and lets out a bark.
"Run!"
"What's going on over there?"
"Akamaru! There's somebody here."
"Where!?"
They get chased away in a hurry by two half-naked teenagers and a dog.
Akamaru whimpers as he lays a piece of torn blue scarf at their feet.
Kiba sneers.
"Little fucking brats."
He can't wait until the day he lives the awkwardness of that moment down. For either one of them. He still feels his face turn red.
Sometimes, even as an adult, he wishes he would have seen the end result of that spying session.
She is still just as beautiful to him, blonde hair twice as long as it's ever been. He doesn't mind their age difference. He wonders if she could see past it.
He is a changed man, and he is very sure she notices him now.
Passes through the academy and gifts him with a smile of pure grace. He is just as tall, the same rank as her and same everything he used to be. But he is grown and mature, now. He tries not to think of it as being uncommon for him to lust after a married woman.
Shikamaru tells him how he has grown into a fine shinobi, and the compliment bears a sense of responsibility.
He has to wonder if the Nara ever fell for the Yamanaka, if he ever had a short stint of a crush on her, or if he lives in a fantasy of their life together when he dreams.
Her son is a replica of Naruto's newest old teammate. The mysterious artist, the former Root member. He can't see much of what is special about him, either.
He doesn't get the next generation of Ino-Shika-Cho as students.
Konohamaru sees her at reunions and waits for her to speak to him. Sometimes, she does. He can't help but think that she still sees him as a kid.
Sai is usually with her, intertwined hands, and she seems to be struck by love.
Struck like him.
He wonders if her smile is genuine.
"It's good to see you, Ino," is all he can say with confidence, because if he dares stare too long into those blue eyes.. If he becomes too lost in the moment, if he got to be alone with her, if he wanted to stop living in regret, if he ever worked up the nerve.. he would confess.
She intimately touches his arm in a fond way, and he can't help but read into it.
"Konohamaru, you look so grown up."
He receives that comment often nowadays.
He smiles, nods, avoids her direct gaze. She is warm.
"Thanks."
He buries everything else he wants to say, crushes the instinct he wants to act on, relishing in her touch..
And convinces himself that he has nothing more than a crush on her.
A/N;; R&R! Here's a first where I actually use present tense throughout. Got this habit of going back and forth. It annoys me when I write so I try to stay consistent.
Don't ask what I'm doing. Expect more random updates, lol.