AN: This was written very quickly for a prompt about Damon going to hell (wish i could find the exact prompt, but it's lost in the LJ abyss). Takes place during the season 2 finale. Let me know what you think!
Abomination. That was the only word going through Damon Salvatore's mind after he died the first time and it's the only word going through his mind right before what he thought was his last time dying. Elena is there being, well, she's being Elena: caring when she's not supposed to and being the good girl.
Damon was the good boy when he was human. He did what he was told. Went to church every Sunday. Brought flowers to his mother to surprise her. Fought a war because he was expected to, even though he was scared shitless. He was a good man. But he wasn't a man anymore, was he?
He turned off the pain when he became a vampire, but the problem with that is the pain stops you. So Damon never stopped. He has killed so many people. He couldn't keep count. He guessed that his body count was over 10,000 but under 50,000. He assumed under 50,000 because he did keep a number of them alive after feeding on them.
He didn't see another way to live, really. He was an abomination. Why bother being a good man when no one who discovers what you are will only see you as an abomination? Might as well earn the parking spot in Hell, Damon thought.
As he lay in Elena's arms, all he can think is how she would've liked him so much better before he was an abomination. He'll never see her again. She'll have a spot in heaven. Damon knew this. Elena was righteous (at times annoyingly so) and good and pure. He knew that he had a spot in Hell waiting for him for nearly 150 years now. God wouldn't accept his sorry, pathetic, weak, indulgent ass through the pearly white gates. He isn't being saved.
So he tries to prepare himself for Hell, and as he feels the power of the werewolf bite taking over, he wonders how much worse Hell could possibly be. Then, in comes Katherine. She could have left town. He would've expected her too. But instead she is saving him. He wonders for a moment if this is God watching out for him, saving him...but Damon quickly decides that his parking spot in hell is still waiting for him, he just gets to avoid it another day.