Jailbreak!
Summary: Haldir gets sent to jail for something that he did not do. And just HOW will he get out, you ask? With a spork, a tunnel, some singing, and a whole lotta hope, that's how!
A/N Well, I was BORED! Somebody hold me.
Haldir: NO! BACK, DEMON!
O_o I'm from the belly of hades?
Haldir: YES! I want my mommy. *pops his thumb in his mouth*
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The judge banged his gavel upon his desk. "Haldir, I find you guilty of all charges of Dwarf harassment."
"But-- but---but!"
"The only 'but' ' in this conversation will be a kicked one if YOU DO NOT SHUT UP! Take him away."
"Noooo! You cannot do this! I didn't harass a Dwarf!" Haldir yelped as two big, burly prison guards grabbed him, and drug him off to his cell.
~**~The next morning *~~*
"Breakfast, lunch, and dinner." A musty-smelling guard grunted, handing Haldir a piece of lembas, on a spork. Haldir wrinkled his nose, but took it anyway. He had an idea, for, you see, our beloverred Elf is not so stupid. He found a loose stone in the floor the night before.
After eating his lembas, he pried up the stone, and began to dig with his spork.
A few hours later, he dug a hole where he could squeeze himself into, and put the stone in place. He clambered out of the hole, grabbed a torch, a blanket, and a pillow; then he made his way back into the hole.
As he dug, he begn to sing a little song he made up, which goes like this:
'Gonna dig me a hole (Gonna dig me a hole)
Gotta break outta jail (Gotta break outta jail)
Didn't do the crime (Didn't do the crime)
Why should I do the time? (Why should I do the time?)
Wanna go home (Yes, I wanna go home)
Cause I didn't break the law (Cause I didn't break the law)'
And so on.
Finally, when he had dug a pretty long tunnel, he stetched out on the blanket, and took a nap.
When he woke up, he resumed his digging of "The Great Tunnel", as he called it.
Finally, after a whole month and a half, he could see daylight.
"I'm free!" he cheered.
But, oh, was he wrong. Actually, it was NOT daylight he saw; it was the cheap lights of the room of a Sue! Bum-bum-buuuuum!
"AHHH! OMG, OMG, OMG! It's HALDIR!" she squealed, and pounced on him, knocking them both into the tunnel, which, at all the sudden movements, began to cave in.
"NOO! STUPID FEKKING SHISHERKOFF SUE!" Haldir yelled, and attacked her with his trusty spork, whom he named Chris.
After numerous jabbing with Chris, the Sue finally fell, defeated. Haldir sighed, and re-tunneled out, and into the Sue's home. Actually, her 'home' was his house, which, while he was in jail, she took over, and claimed as her own. Everywhere Haldir looked was pink, pink, PINK!
"My---my--my house! My poor house!" he sobbed. His poor house. It really looked a fright. Sue germs, pinkness, and all the love!
It took Haldir years to clean and clear and de-germ his house. And, ya know what? They didn't notice he had broken out of jail.
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A/N Whooo! I get bored easy... if ya'll can't tell that already. Um, actually, I was working on a serious work about Haldir,but I don't think I should post it. It's not really good, just a cruddy song fic. But, hey, whatever! S'long as this gets good reviews!
Summary: Haldir gets sent to jail for something that he did not do. And just HOW will he get out, you ask? With a spork, a tunnel, some singing, and a whole lotta hope, that's how!
A/N Well, I was BORED! Somebody hold me.
Haldir: NO! BACK, DEMON!
O_o I'm from the belly of hades?
Haldir: YES! I want my mommy. *pops his thumb in his mouth*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The judge banged his gavel upon his desk. "Haldir, I find you guilty of all charges of Dwarf harassment."
"But-- but---but!"
"The only 'but' ' in this conversation will be a kicked one if YOU DO NOT SHUT UP! Take him away."
"Noooo! You cannot do this! I didn't harass a Dwarf!" Haldir yelped as two big, burly prison guards grabbed him, and drug him off to his cell.
~**~The next morning *~~*
"Breakfast, lunch, and dinner." A musty-smelling guard grunted, handing Haldir a piece of lembas, on a spork. Haldir wrinkled his nose, but took it anyway. He had an idea, for, you see, our beloverred Elf is not so stupid. He found a loose stone in the floor the night before.
After eating his lembas, he pried up the stone, and began to dig with his spork.
A few hours later, he dug a hole where he could squeeze himself into, and put the stone in place. He clambered out of the hole, grabbed a torch, a blanket, and a pillow; then he made his way back into the hole.
As he dug, he begn to sing a little song he made up, which goes like this:
'Gonna dig me a hole (Gonna dig me a hole)
Gotta break outta jail (Gotta break outta jail)
Didn't do the crime (Didn't do the crime)
Why should I do the time? (Why should I do the time?)
Wanna go home (Yes, I wanna go home)
Cause I didn't break the law (Cause I didn't break the law)'
And so on.
Finally, when he had dug a pretty long tunnel, he stetched out on the blanket, and took a nap.
When he woke up, he resumed his digging of "The Great Tunnel", as he called it.
Finally, after a whole month and a half, he could see daylight.
"I'm free!" he cheered.
But, oh, was he wrong. Actually, it was NOT daylight he saw; it was the cheap lights of the room of a Sue! Bum-bum-buuuuum!
"AHHH! OMG, OMG, OMG! It's HALDIR!" she squealed, and pounced on him, knocking them both into the tunnel, which, at all the sudden movements, began to cave in.
"NOO! STUPID FEKKING SHISHERKOFF SUE!" Haldir yelled, and attacked her with his trusty spork, whom he named Chris.
After numerous jabbing with Chris, the Sue finally fell, defeated. Haldir sighed, and re-tunneled out, and into the Sue's home. Actually, her 'home' was his house, which, while he was in jail, she took over, and claimed as her own. Everywhere Haldir looked was pink, pink, PINK!
"My---my--my house! My poor house!" he sobbed. His poor house. It really looked a fright. Sue germs, pinkness, and all the love!
It took Haldir years to clean and clear and de-germ his house. And, ya know what? They didn't notice he had broken out of jail.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N Whooo! I get bored easy... if ya'll can't tell that already. Um, actually, I was working on a serious work about Haldir,but I don't think I should post it. It's not really good, just a cruddy song fic. But, hey, whatever! S'long as this gets good reviews!