TITLE: His Dearest (Part 1, Chapter 1)
GENRE: Romance/Angst
PAIRING(S): USUK, some America + Belarus friendship (you'll see why)
RATINGS/WARNINGS: T; OOCness (especially America)
SUMMARY: Alfred, juggling with academics and internship and being the best of his batch, had remotely less time with Arthur. It went on for two months. Arthur decided to break up with him.

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia; I am just a student nurse, and these ideas from Med School are what I gathered from the interns in the hospitals I serve. I'm sorry, I hope I did the prompt some justice!

"Alfred!"

The person addressed turned towards the distant voice, a wide, genuine grin plastered on his face. He was waiting outside the restaurant that was decorated with Christmas lights and glitters, snow softly falling over him, but he didn't mind, because seeing his dearest person walking in a brisk manner, struggling not to slip but wanting to trek fast enough to reach him made his heart swell. He always wanted to enter any establishment together with him, no matter how cruel or kind the weather outside was. Despite the chill the weather brought, despite the fact that he almost couldn't feel his fingertips because he forgot to bring those mittens his dearest knitted for him, he felt warm when he saw his boyfriend wrapped in a scarf Arthur made himself, pink in the cheeks and nose slightly red from the cold, hair slightly wet from the snow.

Arthur was so adorable.

Alfred found himself meeting Arthur halfway, wrapping his arms around the shorter man's waist and spun him around, not minding that they were in public. Alfred heard Arthur sputtering about the cake being distorted if he won't stop, but he couldn't help himself. He missed his Brit so much! He nuzzled against the warm clothed chest of Arthur before setting him down and stole a quick smooch before leading his blushing Arthur inside the restaurant. Alfred was entitled to do some PDAs because it's Christmas and it's the season of love and happiness!

Looking at Arthur, red in the face due to a mixture of the weather and embarrassment, their entwined fingers warming each other's hand, those emerald eyes that no shade can equal in beauty, looking at him; everything, everything made Alfred very happy. Truly happy. He hoped this kind of happiness wasn't fleeting, wasn't temporary, that he could look back to this time after so many years with Arthur still by his side.

This happiness was his Christmas wish.

April 4, 2011

Alfred woke up with a groan; the flat bed and starchy sheets were not agreeing with the muscles on his back. The Intern's Quarters were dim, with the early signs of dawn breaking. His supine body still didn't want to rise. Despite the constant ringing of his cellphone, his protesting muscles twinge in response and he tried to raise his arms over his eyes. He succeeded, but in an aching victory. The dull pain he felt was not only from his extremities, but also from the sternal area of his chest. It throbbed over the remnants of his dream, his memory, leaving him hollowed and empty yet full of regret. The ache of his muscles and of his chest continued to taunt him, making him curl sideways in a fetal position, finding comfort amongst the blanket he managed to wrap around himself.

He didn't want to admit it, but everything ache.

His dream of old memories, of times when he was happy, hurt.

Alfred was becoming tired of his routine life, of the pressures in Med School, of wanting to be the best intern of his batch, of the agony his heartbreak was giving him. Though he wanted to be a great doctor someday, all of his dreams seemed futile now that Arthur Kirkland, his dear, sweet Arthur, was not beside him, with him, anymore. And even though four weeks had passed, time didn't seem to ease the pain he felt. It still throbbed and ached and it was still making him feel hollow and empty and heavy at the same time. Time could heal wounds except his.

Even though Alfred was slowly dying inside, he yielded to Arthur's request.

To break up with him.

-USUK-

March 3, 4AM found Alfred F. Jones busy. Busy with the workload his very strict consultant emeritus gave him, busy with him juggling his internship and his academics. He was currently in his third year of Med School, and closer to his dream of becoming a great physician to help those people in need of medical service, but couldn't afford. He planned on specializing in Neurosurgery or in Cardiosurgery, depending on his performance. But what he wanted the most was the exhilarating feeling of treating patients of their illnesses, saving their lives, and limiting the mortality rate of his fellowmen. That was his ambition ever since he was young, and he knew that he'd carry that ambition until he grew old.

Despite the overbearing requirements and the very tiring internship that demands too much of his time and energy, the presence of his dearest in his life made everything more bearable. Arthur had always been with him for three years already, and they're together for one and a half. Alfred still felt giddy whenever he thought of their subtle flirtation and his intense courting until Arthur said yes, his face bright red. That memory never failed to make him smile.

Though now things were getting hard, due to his current year level. The Junior Year of Med School was the most death-inducing among all the four year levels. The mix of internship and academics, both demanding attention, energy and time, consumed Alfred to the core of his being. When he was not in school, attending lectures and taking examinations, he was in the hospital, performing minor surgeries and monitoring his clients while his clinical instructors were there to guide him, and all of these happen without the good old eight hours of sleep. Coffee was very vital for his survival in this medical/academic arena.

And yet, the dark caffeinated liquid could never compare to the motivation those emerald eyes gave him. Whenever he thought of Arthur, may it be a fond memory or his dearest's unique quirks, he always felt rejuvenated after thinking about him, and Alfred could carry on his tasks with a bounce in his step.

Med School really took away your social life, Alfred thought. He hadn't seen Arthur for almost two months, and it was driving him to the wall. He still sent texts of good mornings and good nights, but the demand of his school was too high, and he couldn't entertain long text message exchanges and even talk for long on the phone! It was just short phone calls just to hear Arthur's voice over the line, while walking to his next class. And it really was enough for him to keep going.

Besides, he knew Arthur always understood his situation.

Their Christmas was spent full of laughter and kisses and hugs and Alfred felt warm all over again when he recalled how they went to candlelit restaurants, ate cake in Arthur's couch, cuddled underneath the comforting blanket while sharing body heat. Arthur gave him a limited edition Superman comics, one he bought at an auction, and Alfred got him one of the 'best' unicorn plushy he ever saw, which earned him a smack on the head and a stuttering "T-thank you" from his boyfriend. The waking up in the morning light with the person you love was the most priceless experience Alfred ever encountered. It was their first time waking up together, and they didn't want to leave the bed to savor their intimate moment. They made breakfast together, making the meal edible enough for Alfred's taste buds.

Alfred made their Christmas so memorable to make up for his physical absence in the succeeding months. It was the start of his internship, and along with his lectures, was a total pain in the ass. And they couldn't be together during Valentine's Day due to the 48-hour intense duty plus a whooping 300 exam on the day of hearts. He sent Arthur a bouquet of red roses, a box of milk chocolate, and a note saying how much he missed him and how he was sorry he couldn't do anything more.

His life as a med student is definitely killing him but he could do everything as long as he would put his motivation and his dedication (and Arthur) into it.

He sent an early "Good morning, babe! xoxo" text to Arthur and pocketed his phone, preparing for another round of intense demands from both his clinical instructors and his patients in the morning and his lectures in the afternoon.

-USUK-

Later that afternoon, after another round of a very draining lecture (and a promise of having a 200-item exam, could his day get any worse), Alfred received a short text from Arthur, asking (demanding) him to have dinner with him at seven o'clock in a posh restaurant that Arthur particularly liked. Alfred internally went giddy with excitement and couldn't wait for the day to be over. Too bad he had to study later that night, Pharmacology wasn't really his strongest subject. He'd better get some study partner soon. He needed to ace this exam to maintain his status as one of the achievers (he liked the feeling of being filmed during operation, assisting the main surgeon, along with Natalya, his groupmate, for education purposes).

He went home after the class, changed into casual clothes, and brought some notes and a Pharma book with him. He strode to the meeting place, noticing that Arthur was already inside. He glanced at his watch and winced, 'Dang, it's already seven-fifteen.' Arthur would be totally mad for his tardiness. He pushed the door, and made a beeline towards their table. Sending a sheepish smile towards Arthur's frowning face, he sat down and placed his stuff on the other empty chair.

Arthur eyed him placing his notes on top of the chair, and something in his eyes flickered.

"We haven't seen each other for two months, and you're going to be late tonight?" Arthur remarked, disappointment evident in his voice. He was sitting stiffly on his chair, back not quite meeting the backrest, arms crossed. His accusing glare was directed to Alfred, and all the med student could do was grin shyly.

"Aw, c'mon Artie, I'm already here, aren't I?" He tried, wishing it'd alleviate a bit of Arthur's anger.

"Don't call me Artie!" Arthur continued to glare for a moment, drilling his angry emerald blaze into Alfred's sapphires, then the fire simmered into a small ember, until it died out. He sighed. "I know you're here already. Just… Don't be late the next time, if there's a next time soon." Arthur glanced down and gave a self-depreciating smile.

Alfred felt his heart quiver, a shudder unwanted ran up his spine. "Don't be like that, Artie!" He ignored the reprimand for the nickname, and made a motion of grabbing Arthur's hand on the edge of the table, but decided against it. "Don't be like that," he repeated. "Let's just enjoy our dinner like we should have moments ago. He began to flip the menu, discreetly looking at Arthur, whose head was still bent downwards, but has started to pick the menu.

They browsed through the menu in silence. It was slowly making Alfred on edge, and he felt he had done something so horribly wrong but he didn't know what it was or how to make up with the awkwardness that had started to creep into them. He wanted to break it. He wanted this dinner to be special and to last enough for another round of separation (due to his demanding Med Student life).

The first minutes of their meeting, and he was already failing spectacularly.

-USUK-

Alfred somehow managed to lift the atmosphere over the course of their dinner. He accomplished to make Arthur smile and that was all he ever wanted. Alfred paid for both of their meals, despite Arthur's stuttering protests. He grabbed his notes and rose to help his dearest out of the chair and lead him outside the restaurant, his hand holding the curve of Arthur's back.

Arthur's smile and the feel of his warm back against his hand, imprinted on his mind, was enough to give him another boost for the coming days of academic torture.

Speaking of academic torture…

"Artie, sorry to cut our evening so short, but I need to study for tomorrow's exam. It's about drugs for the Central Nervous System and you know me, I barely pass those," he gave him his puppy eyes and asked for some divine intervention Arthur would not flip over.

He saw Arthur frowned deeply and silently cringed. But then Arthur just gave yet another sigh, a though a slightly disappointed one, and nodded. Alfred was about to give him a very big hug and a sloppy kiss (he liked to give sloppy kisses) but then his phone rang and he had to answer that, it was a ringtone he allotted for his groupmates. He motioned to Arthur to excuse him for a moment, and answered his phone. Looking at the screen, his eyes widened slightly and he hurriedly pressed the talk button, and turned around.

"Natalya! Why d'ya call?" Alfred didn't see Arthur stiffen.

"Really? You're in Starbucks right now?" He didn't see Arthur fisting of the edge of his vest.

"That's great! Thank you so much for the offer! I'll be there right away!" Alfred didn't see the flash of hurt on Arthur's emerald eyes.

Alfred ended the call and turned back to Arthur, not noticing any changes in his boyfriend's stance and gave him a quick hug. "Bye Artie! See you sooner, I hope!" And Alfred ran towards his car, driving towards Starbucks where Natalya was.

-USUK-

Natalya Arlovskaya was already sipping her caramel frappuccino, reading the notes on top of her crossed legs when Alfred arrived. He grinned broadly at her, making his way towards her cubicle. He plopped down on the seat opposite of her, tossed his notes on the table, and took a deep breath. Natalya gave him a nod and continued to read.

"Man, Natalya," Alfred began, "Thanks a lot for calling me! I am seriously doomed if I don't get any study partner for tomorrow's exam!" He bestowed her one of the biggest smiles he could manage. Natalya looked up and gave him one of her utterly rare smiles and he instantly knew she was in a good mood.

"Hey, what made you give that oh-so very rare smile you got, that's like a rare pokemon!" Alfred joked. Even though everyone else thought Natalya was a creepy and scary girl for having such devoted fascination with surgery and blades (once he asked her why, and she replied, "I love it when they cut open the humans," and Alfred was quite disturbed for a moment) but she was a very good groupmate, responsible enough and dependable. Like right now. With studying Pharmacology.

Natalya actually managed to redden a bit. Alfred was quite surprised, Wow this is really something, he thought. "Big brother visited me today," she replied. Alfred whistled, "Woah, seriously? Ivan visited you? I thought he was hiding from you," he said, laughing at the second sentence, indicating that he was just teasing.

"Big brother's not hiding from me! Anyway, yes, he visited me today and gave me a new dress. I'm going to wear it tomorrow after getting it laundered," her cheeks were slightly tinged with pink when she responded. Alfred was happy for her, even though he slightly disliked that Ivan guy. Ivan Braginski was Natalya's stepbrother and was also Alfred's schoolmate in high school, and they had some sort of rivalry of being the best in everything they do. It was such a coincidence that he and Natalya ended up in the same Medical School. Ivan, according to Natalya, was currently tending their family business. Though at first Alfred was confused over Natalya's 'affection' for her older brother, he was slowly accepting it as norm without any question. He did know, during high school, that one of Ivan's fears was his sister, and Alfred concluded the 'fear' as Natalya. Despite her being the younger sister of his rival, he managed to get along together, became close friends, even!

"Wow, that's totally neat, Natalya," Alfred replied. He was feeling good because they both got to see their loved ones today! Nothing could bring him down! "Alright! Let's study!"

The first twenty minutes was spent reading their notes by themselves. Alfred reviewed and did his best to remember them. He glanced at Natalya, silently wanting to be like her, casually studying and not exerting any overt effort at all! He pouted and glanced back to his notes when his phone beeped. He mindlessly reached for it, and smiled when he read who it was from. Any text from Arthur surely must be good. He couldn't wait to read it.

Alfred, Forgive me… But I think it's better if we're not together anymore.

Alfred, chuckling without humor, reread the text again, feeling his heart sped just a little bit fast. Eyes widening, he exited the message inbox, and opened it again to read it for the third time, not really believing what was written in the text.

When the meaning of the text finally drilled into Alfred's brain, he immediately stiffened, and felt his heart thudded in his chest, excruciatingly so, and the sounds inside the café ceased, and only the sound of his wristwatch, tick-tock-tick-tock, was heard, mocking him, while he kept on repeating Arthur's text over and over again in his head.

Natalya was even brought out from her concentration due to Alfred's awkward laugh. She raised her eyebrow, silently establishing eye contact with Alfred, who was now in his catatonic state, not saying anything. She furrowed her eyebrows, wondering what happened to him.

"Alfred?" No response.

Natalya decided to nudge his foot to get a reaction. And it was spontaneous.

Alfred jumped a mile, eyes zeroing on Natalya's face. Natalya noticed the wild look on his eyes, the slightly labored breathing, the tension on his muscles, the strong grip he had on his phone. Something was definitely wrong.

She stared at him, waiting for him to give her an answer for his bizarre behavior. It seemed like he was still debating something within, due to the conflict evident on his face. She prompted him again.

Alfred snapped out of his trance, and clumsily handed his notes towards Natalya's side. "I'm sorry Natalya, but I have something very important to attend," he said to her, his voice slightly shaking. Natalya just gave him a nod, and gathered his notes to arrange them. He spared her one last look before dashing outside Starbucks and speeding to his car, chest already aching and heavy with dread and confusion.

What have I done wrong?

Review if you like! :D