Disclaimer: I don't own. You don't sue.

Dedicated to Kiara Lime, one of the most awesome people I have had the honor to meet. This is part of my (unfinished) Christmas smut list.

Warnings: Implied sex between two males, snarky dialogue, and Reno being Reno.

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Request: Rufus/Reno.

Actual pairings: Rufus/Reno, implied Reno/Sephiroth, Reno/Tseng, Rufus/Sephiroth/Reno, Rufus/Tseng/Reno.

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"You know what I want to do?" Reno asked, staring at Rufus from across the room as he lay sprawled across the President's comfortable couch. Rufus's eye twitched yet again, his grip on his pen tightening as he read then signed countless reports, requests, and various other types of (useless) paperwork.

"If I say no, will you shut up?" He growled, tossing Palmer's request for more funding into the wastebasket. All the slob would do with it is to spend it on more lard instead of actually using it for what it's supposed to be used for. Reno blinked, a far too innocent smile appearing on his face.

"Why Rufus..." Reno sighed, eyes twinkling dangerously as he sat up. Rufus could practically hear the smirk in his voice as he continued. "...One would think that you don't want to hear about my sexual fantasies." Rufus paused mid-signature, staring at the redhead like he had lost his mind.

"Unless they involve me in some way, I'm not interested." Rufus said slowly, finishing his signature and then carefully placing his pen back where it belonged. Reno's smirk grew even wider, knowing that he had won this battle.

"Of course they involve you." Reno soothed, the twinkling in his eyes increasing manifold. "If they didn't, I would be in someone else's office, trying to convince them to participate instead." Reno grinned as he watched Rufus twitch at the reminder that; yes, the Turk did keep other lovers who were willing to join in his fantasies on demand. Rufus's eyes narrowed and suddenly he was shoving away from his desk and stalking towards the Turk.

"What did you have in mind?" He demanded, snarling as he pinned the unresisting Turk to the couch. Reno smirked up at him, fluttering his eyes coyly.

"You, me and Sephiroth..." He paused, resisting the urge to snicker at Rufus's growl. "...'s desk." He finished, letting out a small giggle at the shocked look on Rufus's desk. Rufus blinked as his mind processed what had just came out of the green-eyed one's mouth. He glanced down at Reno, who was patiently awaiting a response.

"Sephiroth would kill us if he knew..." Rufus said, seriously considering the idea. As far as he knew, Sephiroth was rarely in his office at this hour, leaving him free to help pound the idea out of Reno's mind. Speaking of Reno, the redhead was smirking so wide that the blonde was surprised he hadn't split his cheeks.

"And he would join us if he caught us." Reno stated with such certainty that Rufus had to wonder if his and Sephiroth's relationship was akin to the one the redhead shared with a certain Turk leader. His eye twitched again and Reno let out a surprised gasp as he was roughly manhandled and thrown over Rufus's shoulder as the President stalked off. Reno just grinned and cheerfully groped the blonde.

"Where are we going?" Reno asked, not even bothering to fake struggling as the President started his way down the stairs. It wouldn't be the first time he had been carried through the building in such a manner. Though, admittedly, he had been unconscious the first three times and in trouble the last five.

Rufus smacked his ass, smirking as his secretary squealed and Reno groaned. "Where do you think we're going?" He asked, a particularly evil look appearing on his face.

"I'm hoping we're headed towards kinky sex in Sephiroth's office, but I'll settle for kinky sex in the breakroom..." He paused, that evil glint entering his eyes again. "Tseng promised to join us if he caught us there."

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