Jungle Fever
By: illusionary001
Pairing: Goujun/Kenren
Rating: R
Summary: Every hundred years a dragon must find a mate, and even poor Goujun isn't exempt.
A/N: This is just pure crack. I know Goujun is OOC but I couldn't resist. And just to add to atmosphere. Listen to this as you are reading. It's a youtube video, but just minimize the window and listen to the song as you read...I guarantee you will laugh. Please be nice and review??
Goujun couldn't take it anymore. He just couldn't take it anymore. And his servants annoying Mickey Mouse voice wasn't helping.
He needed to get off and he needed to get off now. Why the hell did dragons need to breed every hundred years? It's not like they were going extinct.
Goujun eyed his servant who was busy fussing over some trash. His servant wouldn't mind if Goujun asked for a service from him.
Goujun then shook his head in disgust, he wasn't that desperate. He then felt a shiver go up his spin.
Okay maybe he was.
"Well master Goujun I will be off now."
Goujun then watched the servant leave his office. Sighing in relief he put his head on his desk.
"For the love of all that's holy, why me?"
Goujun knew he needed to screw someone, but just the thought of him doing that was so wrong.
"A walk. Yes, that is what I need. A walk. Maybe I'll even find a willing partner"
Goujun got up and walked out his door. As he walked he began thinking of potential partners, in the western palace.
While he knew most of the soldiers would throw themselves at him if he asked, none of them would satisfy his now boiling point condition.
Goujun sighed once again and put a hand over his face. Though beggars couldn't be choosy. He then began going down this list of
candidates.
"Let's see...Theirs Konzen. Nah. He wouldn't let me come near him. Tenpou? Maybe...He's pretty enough. But then again he's taken and experienced. I need someone with a fresh behind. Then again, beggars can't be choosy."
Suddenly a horde of soldiers came right at him. Sweaty and shirtless from a morning work out.
Goujun froze.
"OH HELL NO."
The soldiers saw Goujun and waved.
"Commander Goujun!? How nice to see you!"
Goujun backed up as his pulse began to rise.
"It's...nice...to see... you too." Goujun then turned and ran in the opposite direction.
"WHY ME?!"
Goujun ran and ran, not seeing where he was going until finally he crashed into something.
"Woh! Commander Goujun? What are you doing here?"
"Oh sorry I was just in a...rush..."
Goujun looked up to see Kenren standing in front of him with a confused look. At this point Goujun's body temperature was going up despite being a cold blooded vertebrate.
All of a sudden Goujun caught himself looking at the finely toned muscle structure of his General's body. And the pulsing vein on Kenren's neck.
Kenren the highly energized womanizer and Tenpou's lover...Tenpou was always at the bottom...that meant...
"General Kenren can I see you in my office."
"Um, it's my day off and I want to go see..."
"Never mind that and for once do as you are told."
"But I..."
"No buts Kenren." said Goujun as he lead Kenren towards his office.
Meanwhile, back in Tenpou's room...
"Hm... I wonder.. what should I use on Kenren today?" Tenpou then took out a pair of handcuffs and smiled. "Hm...with these I can be ontop for once. Hee Hee."
He then took out a book that was titled, "How to Dominate Your Man.", "Let's see, chapter one, restrain and capture."
"Uh, commander are you alright? You look like you have a fever?"
"Don't question you're commander, General."
When they got to Goujun's office, Goujun looked around the halls, made sure no one was coming, and locked the door.
"So what do you want to talk to me about Commander?"
"Well to put it simply I have a request."
"A request?"
"Yes."
"Um, look commander. What me and Tenpou do in the privacy of the bedroom is none of your business..."
"Not that, I've given up on that. I need you to do something for me."
"What?"
"Every hundred years a dragon must mate with a partner. Unfortunately, even I am not exempt from this little honor."
"And I have to do with this how?"
"To put it simply. I need to fuck you into the mattress, until you can't even spell your own name."
They stared at each other for about a minute before in sunk in and Kenren's eyes widened with shock.
"Commander. Are you drunk?"
"Nonsense Kenren, now let's get to it."
Goujun then pulled Kenren towards his bedroom.
"Wait at minute! Don't I get a say? I'm taken you know."
Suddenly Kenren's coat went flying out the bedroom door, followed by his pant's, boxers, and boots. Goujun's clothes soon followed.
"Wow! Commander! Wait a minute, what am I saying. No, Goujun you don't know what you are doing."
"You're quite right General I don't. I am a mad animal right now."
Then the sound of two bodies falling onto a bed filled the office.
"Wait!"
Meanwhile in Konzen's office...
Stamp.
"Demolish something. Who cares."
Stamp.
"Reinvoke immortality. Who cares."
Stamp.
"Vacation to lower world. Who cares."
Stamp.
"Loan. Who cares."
Stamp
"My vacation. Ooo"
Stamp
"Vacation for the Merciful Goddess...Denied."
Stamp
"Konzen has to be the clown at Goku's birthday party. Who car...WAIT A MINUTE!"
"Oh my God...Goujun...Don't go to fast... slow down."
"Shut up General and put your hips into it."
Grunts and moans filled the office as the servant returned to finish his duties of cleaning Goujun's room. As the servant reached the door to open it, he froze.
He heard his master grunting as well as some moans. He backed away from the door.
"Oh, my. Master Goujun. Okay. I think I will come back later...yes, that's it. Later."
The servant then scurried away. And just as the servant turned the corner at the end of the hall.
"Oh, oh, Kenren! I'm coming..."
Silence...
Meanwhile in a field of flowers near Goujun's office...
"Um. Do you know who I am?" asked Homura who was sitting on a boulder getting adorned with flower necklaces by Goku.
"I think you look pretty."
"Right."
All of a sudden the peacefulness was disrupted by a loud scream.
"I'M COMING!!"
Homura's eyes went wide.
"OH. MY. GOD."
Goku looked up at the adult in front of him. "Coming? Coming where?"
Homura looked down at the innocence in front of him and turned red.
"Oh...My...God...Let's get you back to Konzen."
"But somebody's coming..." said Goku as Homura dragged him away.
Kenren lay sprawled out on Goujun's bed completely satisfied.
Goujun stood up and went into his office to pick up his clothes.
"Not a word of this to anyone General."
"No shit...But WOW! This only happens every 100 years? Ha...Ha...Ha...Oh boy I can't move. Tenpou is going to kill me."
"I'll tell him you went on assignment."
"Okay..." said Kenren with a large smile on his face as he fell into a blissful sleep.
Meanwhile in Tenpou's office...
"...And make sure to take your partner as hard as you can leaving them senseless with satisfaction. Cool."
Tenpou put away his copy of "How to Dominate Your Man" away and looked at the clock.
Where the hell was Kenren? If he didn't show up Tenpou would make sure to punish him later.
Meanwhile in Konzen's office...
"You old hag. Did you think I wouldn't notice and stamp the damn contract?"
"Aw Konzen. You wouldn't be a clown for your dear little Goku? That is so mean."
"Shut up!"
Meanwhile with Goku...
"But the person is coming. We need to go greet them."
"Uh. No we don't" said Homura as he continues to drag the youth back to his home.
Goujun walked down the halls, feeling like a bright sunny day. He would have to go talk to Tenpou about Kenren. After all he did owe him that.