A/N: So FF won't let me update, So I'm going to see if it will let me upload a new story.
This is courtesy of complete and utter boredom throughout today (maths, English, double science, music and history, terrible day -.-) So thank my terrible day for this terrible fic (well, it's not terrible, but... I'm not good at fics that don't include brutally hurting OR killing a main character... I'm just a bit messed up.)

ONWARDS.

Tragic story of a first kiss
Rated: T
Words: 3,210

"So, when was your first kiss?"

That question came completely out of the blue.

Both Kensi and Deeks were in her car, driving from the OSP to their favourite bar after a really long day and an even tougher case, it included a little girl, well 14, who was kidnapped, and unfortunately wasn't found alive, it hit them all hard a little too hard, and this was their way of winding down.

Kensi was the one behind the wheel when that question just popped out of his mouth.

She was reluctant to answer, he palms were already getting slightly sweaty. "Why do you ask?" she stammered.

"I'm curious... Sophia Turner, she was just 14, I wonder if she ever had her first kiss" Deeks leant his head on the window and sighed.

Sophia Turner was the girl that was murdered, her father, Navy Lt. Matthew Turner had done some pretty shady stuff, transporting drugs for one of the Mexican cartels, and when the load was not delivered, they got angry and took his daughter – who they shot minutes after our arrival on scene, along with Turner himself.

Kensi sighed and realised she would have to tell the truth. "I was 15, and it was mistake. It was a few days after I heard about my dad, I was a vulnerable wreck, and Marco Johnson, the quarterback took advantage of that, and I will always regret it" She explains. "But I believe, a first kiss isn't what everybody makes it out to be. That your first kiss can be with whomever and whenever you want, the others are merely just practicing until you find the right one." She focused on the road. "I thought mine was with Jack... But he hurt me"

"So going by that logic, I've yet to have my first kiss" she shot a look to him before turning back to the road.

"I guess you're right" he smiled at her.

"What about you? I told you my story, you tell me yours." It was a soft question, but it had the demanding undertones of a... well, demand.

He sat up straight. "You have to understand something Kens'" He paused. "I wasn't the greatest guy in high school, all I had was Ray, and we were Jocks."

"Your first kiss was Ray?" she said, trying to make a light joke of the situation, it worked because he was laughing.

"Just for that, you don't get to hear my story."

"Awww" She looked at him with a smile. "Was it your lifeguard career?"

"Shut up" he flashed her a knowing smile. "All right, I'll tell you."

"I remember my first kiss, it was with Suzie May Collins, and despite the preppy name, she was not a cheerleader, not even popular, but she was beautiful, god was she beautiful. I was 15 also, and I found her crying when I was in the halls during homeroom, she was crying, Amber had hurt her, I can't remember what she did, but I know it was physical." Deeks paused again. "Milkshake! That was it, she was covered in milkshake and had been shoved to the ground by Amber, I remember, she was first so reluctant to let me help her, but eventually she agreed to my help, so I began to wipe the milkshake off of her clothes and face, it was just when homeroom bell chimed when Ray and the others approached us, asking me what I was doing."

"What happened?" She had become really into this story.

"I told them I was helping her, and I told Amber off even though she was Ray's girlfriend, I asked her why she did it, and I told them it was probably jealousy, due to her being ten times more beautiful than her on the outside, and a hundred times more beautiful than the whole squad put together on the inside."

"You don't sound like the bad guy."

"I caused her death though." He stared down. "After that, I grabbed her hand and pulled her away from the crowd that had gathered I helped her wash up in the guy's changing rooms, and it was then that I kissed her, and told her I meant what I said."

Kensi looked at him. "You caused her death?"

Deeks avoided her gaze. "After that, Amber and the squad buckled down harder on her; eventually driving her to take her own life."

Kensi parked up at the bar. "That's tragic" Kensi took the key out of the car.

"She left me a letter, thanking me, but it was my fault."

"No." Kensi looked him in the eye. "you made her feel happy."

"Maybe." He began to get out of the car. "I think I agree with you though, as much feeling as I put into that kiss, I didn't love her, for the reason that I didn't really know her. If a first kiss is with somebody you love, then I've never had that feeling, and I've never had that kiss."

Kensi smiled at him as they both got out of that car. He locked it up and entered the bar.

A soft song was playing through the air, Kensi identified it as Sarah McLachlan 'Fumbling towards ecstasy' she hummed along quietly to the tune as she followed Deeks to their usual booth, the colors of purple and blue illuminating the nightlife of LA – Okay, it was more of a nightclub than a bar, but it was their favourite place to be.

They sat in their usual seats opposite one another and each ordered a beer.

"So, what about your relationships after the kiss?" Kensi asked, sipping her beer.

"As I said, I was a jock" He mumbled. "Bleachers and cheerleaders, meaningless romps."

Kensi nodded, she knew the type, although she pictured Deeks as that type in high school, it was weird hearing it.

"how about you?"

"I had a few – as you say – meaningless romps, but my first and up to date only seriously relationship was Jack." She paused. "But, with Jack it was a security thing, I needed someone like my father, who would love me, cherish me and never let me go; and I thought I found that with jack, he was everything I pictured, Marine, strong, handsome and he loved me." Kensi stopped again and looked into her beer. "At least, I thought he did."

"Who needs relationships, with all that love attached, it's just an extra unneeded addition to the ever growing list of problems - how one person can fall so easily, even if they know it will lead to heartbreak. I wonder if anybody actually knows what love feels like, 'cause I sure wish I knew, then I could avoid it." He said, with a slight unneeded sharpness to his tone.

"Amen to that" Kensi clanked her glass with him and downed it.

A few drinks later, both were tipsy, not drunk, but not definitely not sober – But also completely aware.

Deeks stood up and walked around the table, grabbing Kensi's hand and pulling her up and out of the seat.

"Where are we going?" She questioned, feeling slightly giddy.

"To dance" he retorted, spinning her round so she was facing him as the upbeat sound of Skrillex boomed throughout their heads.

He placed her hands safely on her hips as she held his arms, moving swiftly to the beat, avoiding other people in their path.

And this is the way they stayed for about 4-5 songs.

Then all of a sudden, the harsh-tempo'd music stopped and the song 'Kiss from a rose' by SEAL began through the speakers, as couples around them got closer and merged into one another, making what once was two individuals seem like a mess of two, joining together for a more intimate dance – Kensi was betting on half of them only having met tonight, but that didn't seem to affect anything.

Kensi and Deeks looked at each other as if to confirm what had already been decided.

Kensi was the first to move closer, locking her arms around his neck and nuzzling her face into the crook of his neck – avoiding her own arm of course.

Deeks pulled in closer also, moulding their bodies together, they fit perfectly, like two puzzle pieces that had both been lost to the big picture until this moment.

His arms finally snaked around her waist, resting together on the small of her back, neither of them taking that their bodies were so close, that their crotches, their chests had never been closer, especially as he pulled her lower body in closer to him to increase the comfort.

Their bodies swung softly together to the harmless tune.

There is so much a man can tell you
So much he can say
You remain my power, my pleasure, my pain
Baby, to me, you're like a growing
Addiction that I can't deny
Won't you tell me, is that healthy, baby?
But did you know that when it snows
My eyes become large
And the light that you shine can't be seen?

...

Now that your rose is in bloom
A light hits the gloom on the grey

All too soon the soft dong ended and had moved onto a more upbeat 'Moves like Jagger' blasts at a fuller volume through the speakers, fast couples began to separate and began a more vigorous dance of arms flailing and legs kicking in spastic un heard of directions that should be impossible due to our human anatomy.

Kensi just sighed and broke apart from Deeks, still clutching his hands as they also moved around the dance floor in a faster manor – not quite like some of the others in the club. He span her round and dipped her down, causing a gracious laugh to flee her lips; it filled him with a sense of unheard of pride knowing he was the cause of this laugh.

They continued to dance for another 3 songs before returning to their vacant booth, this time sitting next to each other instead of across.

Kensi tucked one leg up under herself and sat facing Deeks on the seat that they shared. He twisted his body round as she leant against the wall.

The small size of the booth had made sure that they had no personal space, but of course that was not taken into account as they sat in a comfortable silence.

Eventually their closeness was acknowledged by Kensi as she felt his warm breath settle on her cheek, she quickly shied away before meeting Deeks' bent index finger on her jaw, running down to her chin and making him look back up at him, stealing her eye contact back to himself.

There was no doubt that the instant attraction recalled upon that very moment, it was like a bolt of electricity shot between the pair, making them no longer able to focus on anything else, their eyes held contact as any alcohol that was in their system dissipated by this point, they were completely aware of each other's eyes boring this very moment in the walls of their skull, like they were waiting for it to finish, to find that last piece of the everlasting puzzle.

And it had been found.

They had, without noticing began to get closer and closer, their lips now just mere millimetres in distance away. The gap was waiting in desperation to be closed, but neither of them would close it, they just kept thinking back, both of them to their past conversation.

They were so close, but it was also what they were both trying to avoid, but they wanted this, they wanted the comfort and happiness that came with it, they wanted someone to share the pain with, to hold at night, they needed that someone to make good and honest love with if the time ever came to it – but they both knew it would end in pain, neither of them could provide that package deal.

Everything was coming to light in their minds, running separate scenarios and realisations – epiphanies, but none of them ending well.

'Screw it' Deeks was unsure if he said it in his head or out loud, all he knew is that he closed that gap, covering his mouth with hers, putting every possible feeling he contained into this action.

It felt foreign, it felt safe, but neither could shake the feeling that this was just so unsecure, it was just a mere sense of what free people called love.

But alas, they were not free people, not in all senses of the word, if anything they have the highest form of imprisonment, a career in law enforcement – they had rules and regulations that could cost their life if not followed, but what they were engaging in was severing one held most precious.

Fraternization.

With a co-worker.

Though, this didn't make them stop, if anything it made the kiss go deeper, Deeks now had his hands on her hips, pulling her closer and pressing her against the wall behind.

He ran his tongue slowly on her lower lip, asking for entrance.

Which was granted fast, this was now a fight for dominance as her hands tangled in his hair. The kiss went so much deeper, jumping the boundaries of what they thought was love, right into pure lust and hunger.

He moved one of his hands up, caressing her jaw softly as the other was placed loosely on her thigh, the rabid alpha male feeling had hit him, he felt, for the first time in complete control over everything.

The nightlife of LA was teeming even at this hour (1am), in fact, it was as busy as ever.

But Kensi and Deeks were oblivious to everything, the people dancing and drinking, the blue and purple lights that flash the building, they were in a separate booth, completely unnoticed by the other people in the club.

This public display of affection... Lust... was more than ever shown between the pair – anywhere, and neither knew what was guiding it along so smoothly only that passion was filling the air around them, making it so steamy in the small enclosure.

This action had gone from innocent love to rabid lust.

The type of lust that was shared between two strangers in unfamiliar quarters, where one would sneak out in the middle of the night, leaving the money on the dresser or the pillow – leaving the passion of the night before behind them, the after-scent of their lovers passionate release would still linger on them for hours after the fact though.

The two had only had few short breaths for air, but, with persuasion of her brain, Kensi pulled her lips away from Deeks and pushed him off of her.

She wanted this, but not in the way it was happening, it couldn't feel like the previously envisioned paragraph of lust, it couldn't feel like two unknown lovers in a motel at night.

He stared at her, both of their lips now swollen from the urgency of that kiss, he looked her in the eyes and acknowledged what she couldn't say.

She wanted it definitely, but not in this way, not with someone she trusted so much.

And he felt the same.

They left the club with whatever dignity that remained inside of them after that very public display of their admiration for one another.

Was this kiss they shared their first one?

Would there ever be more?

Or would it just end there, never to be heard from again for either side of this party?

Of course, none of these questions could be answered, none of them would ever be answered because nobody can tell you what is truly happening in a situation as familiar as that, nobody tells you what to expect, and if they ever did, they were completely wrong.

You could never prepare yourself for such an intimate lust-filled occurrence to happen, no matter how many times you see it on tv, read about it in books, or hear it from your friends.

It was all to do with the path you take, and tonight, two had taken that path.

Kensi Blye and Marty Deeks would definitely never have been able to prepare for that, not even if they knew it was coming.

Because what arrived is different, different to everybody, even themselves they both felt a different feeling as the adrenalin coursed their veins, was it love, comfort or lust?

Did they spend the night together? Go on to 'screw' the rules and begin a relationship, get married, have children?

Or was it a mistake they thought should have turned out better?

Only they can tell you, and even they don't know.

A/N: That was a fun waste of 6 lessons xD I don't know why, but I really liked this one (which is rare for me to like any of my own work) It was a strange one, I will admit that.

But, I hope you liked it :)

-L J x