"Kate, this has got to stop."

He's watching her from across the room as he leans against the open doorway. This must be the third night he's found her in here...crying to herself.

"No one asked you to come in here, Castle," she says, swiping at her runny nose. The snot and tears mixture shines, reflects the light on the back of her palm.

"No, but you left the door open," he says, stepping closer. The tile is cold on his bare feet, numbs the stinging in his leg. "Not exactly telling me I can't either."

"You fell tonight," she states after a moment, huffs a breath and shakes her head. "Everyone saw you fall and it's my-" His wife hangs her head in shame, unable to even look him in the eye. "When you went down, it reminded me of when you were poisoned a few years ago-"

"Kate…"

"-how you just collapsed and I almost lost you."

"You wouldn't have lost me today. You haven't lost me. Everyone else knows-"

"Please, just give me a few minutes." She reaches for some tissue to dab at her eyes, but it lasts just a moment before fresh ones are falling again.

He's getting upset; he hates that she's living with this guilt, this unwarranted guilt that's eating away at her. "You're right; everyone did see me fall. But, babe, everyone also knows what happened to me. They weren't judging. Hell, even the boys gave a little laugh. I'm fine. It wasn't a big deal."

Castle thought it would be a good idea to have Thanksgiving with all their friends after the mess of the past few weeks. It was supposed to bring some normalcy back into their lives, but he ended up misstepping without his cane, falling down, and taking several trays of food when he grabbed the tablecloth.

No one was particularly upset about it, or overly concerned about the food once they realized he was alright, but he could see how guilty Kate seemed at the time.

She appeared fine the rest of the night, until their friends left. The remainder of the time she was quiet, reserved even after she knew he wasn't in any pain. He didn't know that she was holding back so many heart wrenching tears though because if he had, he would've soothed her worry and guilt long before she'd crawled onto this floor.

"It is to me," she murmurs, finally lifting her gaze to meet his. Her eyes are puffy, red as more tears rush down her pink cheeks. "Just give me a minute. Give me some time and I'll be fine."

This has happened one too many times for her to just be "fine" after a good cry.

A sigh works its way up his throat and he braces himself on the bathroom sink and his cane, bends his knees to try to sit down on the floor with her.

She squeezes his thigh when she sees what he's doing, panic threaded in her voice. "What-what the hell are you doing?"

"Trying to sit with you."

"No, Castle. You'll hurt yourself even more. Just go get in bed. I'll be there in a minute."

His grip on the cane tightens, but he takes a deep breath to calm his racing heart.

"What kind of man would I be if I ignored the tears of my wife?" He limps closer to where Kate resides on the bathroom floor, doesn't back down at her disapproving stare. Being so close now gives her no choice but to look up at him, meet his eyes. "I always hear you crying," he sighs. "And I'll always come running."

Her head shoots up to meet his gaze, eyes glued to his, and her brow furrowed in anger and frustration. "But you can't run," she seethes.

"Yeah," he sucks in a humorous breath and tilts his head to the side. "That was bad. But you know what I mean."

Her bottom lip begins to tremble, salt water continuing to leak from her eyes, and he reaches a gentle hand down to help her stand so they can be at eye level. There's a hesitation in her movements at first, but eventually she slides her palm into his and he pulls her up off the ground. "Kate," he swipes at her tears with his thumb. "You have to stop blaming yourself."

"It's my fault, how can I not?"

"Wait...did you shoot me and I just don't remember?" He goes for humor, but Kate doesn't laugh, just sucks her lip between her teeth.

"Hey, it's the fault of the person who shot me. Not yours, okay? I don't blame you at all."

"It's my job to protect you," she sighs, closing her eyes. "Partners."

"Hey," he sighs, understanding now how much this has taken a toll on her. "Look at me, okay? We're partners no matter what, that'll never change. You did your job." Castle lets his metal cane drop to the floor; the tile makes it sound hollow. Weak. Unnecessary. He cups her cheeks, the tips of his fingers wrap around the back of her neck to help her see that he's fine. Breathing. Here. She tries to turn away, but he doesn't let her, just pulls her in closer to his chest, securing her against him. "So stop blaming yourself. I'm right here. Isn't that the only thing that matters? That I'm here, alive, and still willing to give you the world?"

Kate buries her face in his neck, sniffling and sobbing against him. The relief she feels is evident in the way she inhales, as if she thought she didn't deserve to breath. "I love you so much."

"I love you too. Please, don't this to yourself again." Castle doesn't even realize tears are falling from his eyes until she's wiping his away and kissing his wet lips. "If not for me, then for our son."

She's nodding at everything he says, but the sobs are still finding their way out of her throat. "I'm so sorry."

"Shh," his hand slides through her hair, trying to ease the pain, trying to calm her. "It's okay. You have nothing to be sorry for."

"I-"

"-no, shh. Come on, let's get to bed. We can talk some more in the morning."

With trembling hands, she reaches for his cane, and her shoulders shiver as she hands it to him. Her breathing is labored, eyes swollen with guilt, and lips pink from gnawing her teeth into them.

"I-I...I'm not sure how to handle this," she exhales. She's walking in time next to him, face buried in his neck, and he takes her hand to twine their fingers together.

"We handle it like we always have. Together."

"No." Kate shakes her head, stands in front of him before he could sit down on his side of the bed. But her voice is still raspy, cracked. "I mean-I don't know how to handle not being able to fix this."

"You can't. This is me, Kate," he shrugs. "And it's okay. I'm okay."

"You weren't even supposed to be there," she explains diverting her eyes. "But I was still supposed to protect you. I saved you when you got poisoned, how did I fail this time?"

"No, no, no, Kate." Castle pushes her back so she can sit on the bed and he struggles to sit down next to her. "Me getting shot is way different from me getting poisoned. You couldn't stop this. The damage was done the second the trigger was pulled."

She tenses at his words, fingers clenching around his and her eyes snapping shut.

"I don't mean to hurt you." His arms goes around her shoulders, pulling her into him so he can rub her arm. "I'm just explaining the truth; the nerve was damaged when I got shot. No amount of medicine would've fixed it, Kate. There was nothing you could've done." He finds her eyes again, begs her to look at him, to understand. "But just because I have this limp-" he pauses for a moment, fixes his gaze more intently on his wife. "Do you... think less of me? As a partner?"

Her head is shaking before he can even finish the question. "God, no, Castle. Of course not."

"Okay, then. Don't think any less of yourself. I am still me and I survived. That's what matters here."

There's a knock on the door before either could speak again, but Castle focuses on his wife first. "It wasn't your fault. If we can't laugh at the things that make us weak, that make us vulnerable, then we'll never allow ourselves to live."

James pokes his head in the room at the tail end of Castle's question; his curiosity is evident in the way he furrows his brow at them and hesitates to walk into the room.

"I'm sorry," Jamie says, going to close the door. "I just can't sleep."

"No, baby, come in." Kate pats the space next to her on the bed, but turns back to Castle for a moment. She nods her head and gives the slightest of smiles.

"Are you crying, Mom? Did you get hurt?" Jamie, only eight years of age, is always too concerned with the well-being of his family. It's endearing, but Castle doesn't want him to grow up a worrier.

"No, I'm not hurt. I was just sad about Dad at dinner today."

"Dad, are you in pain?" Jamie asks, leaning forward to look past Kate.

"Nope. I'm fine. I just had to tell mommy I was fine and now," Kate watches him as he speaks, the almost imperceptible smile still in place. "Mommy is too."

Kate turns back to their son, her arm wrapping around his shoulders, fingers playing with his bed hair. "But enough about us. Why can't you sleep?"

"I don't know. Something was keeping me awake."

"I think I know why," Kate says, a frown forming on her lips. "We never got dessert. Ice cream, anyone?"

Jamie's eyes light up and he nods his head vigorously, hopping down from the bed. "I'll get the pie!" he shouts as he runs towards the kitchen.

Once James is out of the room Kate faces him again and presses her mouth to his without warning. He responds in kind, one hand coming up to run his fingers through her hair.

"Thank you," she breathes in between kisses. She captures his lips again, deepens the kiss when she moves closer to him before resting her forehead against his. "I love you."

"I love you too."

She takes his hands, stands from the bed. "Let's go." He grabs his cane before he rises, but keeps his free hand clutched in hers. "Alexis makes the best pumpkin pie and I haven't even had a piece yet. The boy's gonna eat it all if we don't hurry."

Castle doesn't respond right away, just smiles and kisses the crown of her head. "We'll survive."

Thank you Amy for being great! This wouldn't be here without your remarkable insight.

And Valen, it was an honor receiving your help and getting guidance from you. You're amazing :)

Thank you.