Digressions on Kaidan
This is a little self-imposed challenge due to a case of writer's block and extreme boredom, to see how many ficlets I could write starting with a single premise. And, as my foot kept itching this morning for no apparent reason, I went with 'Kaidan's foot was itching'. Some are serious, some are silly. Not all of them take place in the same universe, and they're not necessarily in chronological order. Enjoy.
Trapped
Kaidan's foot was itching. What was worse was that said foot was currently trapped under a large concrete block, dislodged from an unstable building by the harvester that had just flown off. And shortly, it was likely that the itching would stop, but only because the blood flow to his limb was being cut off.
"Hold still," Garrus advised, assessing the damage. "Shepard? How you holding up?"
"Fine," Shepard grumbled, shaking dust off his head and gravel out of his armor. He scrambled out of the hole he had been swept into by the falling debris and made his way cautiously over to Garrus. "Shit… Is it broken?"
"Don't think so," Kaidan replied, trying to stay calm. Aside from the fact that he was trapped, there were also the reaper forces still swarming the ruins around them. "Doesn't hurt enough to be broken." That, and the fact that the most irritating thing about being trapped was that his foot was itching and he couldn't get his boot off to scratch it.
"Think we can lift it off?" Garrus asked, and from his tone, Kaidan already knew the answer was no. He couldn't see exactly what was pinning him from here, but a cursory shove with his biotics had produced absolutely no result whatsoever, so it had to be big, whatever it was.
"No," Shepard said with a sigh. "Shit…"
"Husks!" Kaidan shouted suddenly, and even from his fallen position he managed to get his gun pointed the right way, taking out three husks while Garrus and Shepard took care of the rest. And then, once the dust settled, they regrouped around Kaidan and the massive concrete slab.
"What if we move some of the rubble from beneath him," Garrus suggested, looking over the pile of rocks carefully. "If we can create a little space, he should be able to wriggle the leg out."
Kaidan tried to flex his muscles, just to keep the blood flowing. "Sounds like a plan," he agreed, not keen on staying there much longer.
And so they set to work, dragging rocks and scraps of metal away, always careful not to injure Kaidan with a stray jagged edge… and ten minutes later, Kaidan looked around, after managing to free a short pole that had become snagged on his armor… only to see that, in his efforts to crawl beneath the slab and reach Kaidan's leg, Shepard's face was now poised only an inch or two from his groin.
He tried to suppress the laugh, but it burst out anyway, drawing the attention of both his companions. "What?" Shepard asked, looking round… and then immediately noticed what was at eye level. A most undignified snort sounded as he hastily turned away again.
"How is this funny?" Garrus asked, standing at a short distance and scanning the area for more husks.
"It's not," Kaidan replied, biting his lip to try and keep from chuckling. And damn it, but now that he'd noticed, his groin was getting in on the act, and he was only grateful that the armor prevented anyone from noticing his reaction.
And then suddenly Shepard tugged a chunk of rubble out of the way, and Kaidan felt his leg slide loose.
He dragged himself out from under the slab and sat up… then suddenly began tearing at his boot, unclipping the buckles, tugging it off.
"What's wrong?" Shepard asked urgently, freeing himself from the tunnel he had created. "Sprained? Cut? Bruised?"
Kaidan yanked the boot off and immediately set to scratching the sole of his foot like crazy. "Itchy," he said, not bothering to be embarrassed at the disbelieving look on Shepard and Garrus's faces. Their laughter echoes through the ruins, while Kaidan paid no attention. Scratching his foot felt so divine, he was willing to put up with being laughed at.