Your name is DAVE STRIDER and you are the NEW KID at your makeshift home in WASHINGTON. You have only been here for a total of THREE MONTHS and are alredy best bros with a boy you like to call JOHN EGDERP, who has just invited you to his 8TH BIRTHDAY PARTY. You GRUDGINGLY ACCEPT the invitation. You do not want to come off as TOO EAGER.

You walk down the streets, skimming for the unmistakable Egbert house. It is the only one with the slime pogo bounce ride thing in the front yard. Your cell phone buzzes and you figure it is because John is pestering you.

- ghostyTrickster [GT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] -
GT: hi dave! :D are you here yet?

You were right it is John. You do not know why you have a phone in the first place because you are barely 8 years old. Still you take the thing out and reply. You do not want this derp to worry about you being lost.

You turn a corner and see the familiar outline of the disgusting green toy and ignore the smile twitching at your lips. Your Bro would be so dissapointed in you.

TG: yeah dude i am almost about to grace you with the awesome presense of a Strider
TG: prepare yourself
GT: i think i'm prepared dave
GT: its not like you haven't been here before
TG: whatever egderp
TG: okay bro i am here hold on to something
GT: hehe

- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ghostyTrickster [GT] -

You can almost here his stupid giggle and that makes you blush a little and smile even more. You hate how this dork can so easily break you. You will have to go through a few more years of poker-face training with Bro before you are as he is.

You push your glasses up further, the mild washington sun stinning your sensitive eyes. It isn't long before you are standing on Egderp's steps, grasping the handle of a birthday present in your tiny hands.

John's dad opens the door, patting your head as he carefully takes the bad.
"Welcome home David." he says jokingly. You have basically spent your entire time in Washington so far, at John's house.
"John is out in the backyard."

Instead of rushing towards the door like a coyote to a lost chicken you give a chill nod and swagger over to the back door, pushing it open slowly. You give a blank stare as you see the other kids that you assume must be John's friends. One of them has a mess of tangled black hair and glasses and teeth as big as the dork himself. You guess they must be related. The other girl you reckognize to be your sister Rose. You do not know why she is here. You told her to stay home. John was your friend and not hers.

This makes you slightly angry but you internally shrug it off as you stand over by John.
"Happy Birthday Egderp." You whisper, trying your hardest not to crack another smile. John catches you buy surprise as he pulls you into a tight hug.
"Dave I can't believe you really came! I thought you were too cool for birthday sleepovers? But I guess it doesn't really count since you're the only one sleeping over does it..."

Before you can lecture John about how lame he is being and that he should try and be more cool like you John's dad comes in with the presents and a big cake you recognize as betty crocker. He begins passing the presents out to the respective bearers so that they may personally give John their presents. John makes a face as the cake is set down on the table. You can tell he is fighting the urge to say something. You guess he must not like cake.

Once everyone has given John their present but you, you give him a cool smirk, handing him the parcels in your hand. You start up some sick beats and pop a nice rhyme. 'Swiggity Swag what's in the Bag?' is sadly all you can come up with. You mentally slap yourself for not beign able to come up with a better rhyme.

However this earns a laugh from John and you are thankful your aviators are in the way of that dopey twinkle in your eye. You watch as his face lights up, pulling out a DVD case labeled Con Air which will later become John's most favorite movie. You think you did good, as in the past three months in person and several years online, you have learned that John likes shitty movies and Nicolas Cage. Especially when the two are combined.

John tackles you into a hug and tells you you are the coolest person ever, and then the cake is passed out and not long after kids begin to leave. You remind Rose you will be staying the night and that she can't because she is a girl, and also not John's friend. John scoffs and nudges you slightly, dragging you upstairs to his room.

It seems like hours before John suggests you play with some of the dumb toys he got for his birthday. You are particularly ticked when he wants to play with the one Rose got him. Ectobiology for dummies or some shit. Neither of you are quite sure what the fuck ectobiology is but soon enough you are playing in puddles of slime, acting like it's fricken turning into a monster and eating your guts like the babiest of babies.

Later you end up watching all of the movies in the house because you are both insomniacs and can't sleep. Your final genre of completion is romance and suddenly you find yourselves tangled up on John's floor. You can feel a blush creeping across your cheeks as John dims the lights before slowly going to push the shades off of your face. He knows very well that your eyes are extremely sensitive.

You become very nervous. You are eight years old and do not know how to kiss a boy. Or anybody at all. You stare into those eyes you know will haunt you dreams as you slowly lean in and kiss his stupid face, cupping his chubby face in your delicate hands. You both squeak slightly, both of you suddenly feeling entirely awkward.

You kiss him again a few more times and before you know it you two have climbed into his little bed, and you continue to kiss all over his face. It doesn't take long before the derp falls asleep and you tuck him protectively against your chest, your face resting neatly into the crook of his neck. You are not far behind and you wake up in your dreamland, watching John skip around in his awkward yellow while you saunter around in your dashing purple but each of you share the crescent moon on your shirts.

You will wake up to find you had the same dream once again and in 5 years these things will start to make sense. But you don't need to know that now because you are sweet darling innocent children. Dad and Bro will keep you far away from that game for as long as they can.