Title: Behind The Action Lies Insanity

Author: Moonlight Music Mistress

Summary: On screen these ninjas kick serious butt. But off screen, what happens behind the scenes?

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"All right everybody!! Cut!! We'll continue filming in an hour!!" the director of Naruto called. "Take a break!!"

"ALL RIGHT!! HECK YES, IT'S BREAK TIME!! DISCO DANCING TIME!!" Sasuke hollered.

"All right, I'm gonna go listen to Simple Plan and My Chemical Romance," Ino announced.

"BUT INO!! ONE MUST STAY INCREDIBLY HAPPY?! WHY WOULD YOU LISTEN TO EMO BANDS LIKE THAT? YOU SHOULD SWITCH TO HILARY DUFF!! BECAUSE HER MUSIC IS HAPPY!!" Gaara yelled to Ino.

"Shut up. I'm going to listen to my emo music, all right?"

In another corner of the room, Neji and Shino were playing a game of Go Fish.

"SHINO?! WOULD YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE ANY YOUTHFUL THREES?" Neji hollered.

"Go fish, bucco!!" Shino hollered, shaking his butt in front of Neji's face.

"ARE YOU CRAZY?! YOU DON'T HAVE ONE THREE?! WHAT KIND OF FRIEND ARE YOU, SHINO!! I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL!! BUT NO!! IT'S BECAUSE I'M FAT, ISN'T IT?!" Neji ran off crying.

"Speaking of fat, those cameras really do know how to make one look fat," Chouji commented, with Sakura and Naruto holding food in front of him.

"Chouji, you're anorexic!! Eat a flippin' pie or something!!" Sakura commanded.

"Yes!! Sakura is right!! Pie is good!!" Naruto continued.

"Oh Naruto, I'm so glad we never fight!!" Sakura hugged Naruto, her BESTEST BESTEST friend. Who she NEVER, EVER fought with. EVER.

"Oh Sakura, fighting is never the answer!! Why don't people see that?!" Naruto returned.

In a corner of the room, Lee was calling over to Hinata for help.

"Hinata. Help. Now," Lee called.

"What is it, Lee?" Hinata asked.

"Help. Me. Rip. Off. These. Fake. Eyebrows." Lee commanded. Hinata nodded and pulled at Lee's eyebrows, but the Super Glue was a bit strong.

"GAH!! SHIKAMARU, HELP!!!" Sasuke called.

"I can't, Sasuke!! These 400 pound weights aren't gonna lift themselves!!" Shikamaru called back.

"BUT THIS SHARINGAN CONTACT IS STUCK IN MY EYE!!" Sasuke called.

"Well then you know what to do?"

"What?"

"Fitness, fitness, working overtime!!" Shikamaru called.

Gaara left the room for a glass of pink lemonade, then returned. "YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE, MY ONLY SUNSHINE, YOU MAKE ME HAPPY, WHEN SKIES ARE GREY!! TAKE IT AWAY, INO!!"

"..."

"WONDERFUL!!"

In another corner of the room, a girl argument was going on between Tenten and Temari.

"ARE YOU INSANE, TENTEN?! THE BACKSTREET BOYS ARE THE BEST FLIPPIN' BAND EVER!!"

"No way, Temari!! NSYNC is ten MILLION times better than the Backstreet Boys!!"

The two were interrupted by Kiba. "No way, girls!! I vote for the Pussycat Dolls!! Loosen up my buttons, babe, but you keep fronting, saying what you gonna do to me," Kiba walked off as Gaara, Sasuke, and Neji all started a trio. "MAN!! I FEEL LIKE A WOMAN!!"

"OH NO YOU DID NOT JUST SING THAT!!!" Tenten hollered. "THAT'S A WOMAN'S SONG!!"

"Oh REALLY?" Sasuke hollered. "WELL, SHINOBI ARE BETTER THAN KUNOICHI!!"

"NO WAY!!" Hinata yelled. "YOU KNOW WHAT, ALL OF YOU BOYS ARE FLIPPIN' CRAZY AND YOU SHOULD JUST GO CRAWL IN A HOLE, OKAY?! EXCEPT FOR GIRLS, BECAUSE GIRLS ARE THE BEST AND THEY DESERVE TO RULE THE WORLD!!"

"YEAH!!" Temari and Tenten agreed.

"Boys rule!!" Neji hollered.

"Oh really?" Temari asked. "Well..."

Then the three girls all started singing. "ANYTHING YOU CAN DO, I CAN DO BETTER!!"

The three boys saw where this was going. "HA!!"

"I CAN DO ANYTHING BETTER THAN YOU!!"

Back to Lee trying to take off his fake eyebrows:

"Wow. These. Two. Fake. Eyebrows. Finally. Came. Off," Lee said. "Let. Me. Find. A. Container. For. My joy. Oh. No. I. Said. Two. Words. In. One. Sentence. The. End. Of. The. World. Is. Coming," Lee emotionlessly said the whole thing.

Just then, Kakashi walked in.

"KAKASHI!! YOU'RE THREE EPISODES EARLY!! YOUR SCENE DOESN'T COME ON FOR ANOTHER THREE EPISODES!!" the director yelled.

"Well, at least I'm not FOURTEEN episodes early like I was last time," Kakashi answered, walking out the door as Gai came walking in.

"Gai-sama." The Konoha 12 and the Sand Siblings bowed to Gai.

"All right students. I have simply come here to pick out a book. Director, sir, where is my book?"

"Right here, Gai-sama. I hope that this is the edition of Philosopher's Times that you wanted."

Gai nodded. "Yes it is. Thank you ever so much."

"Goodbye, Gai-sama. Teach the young children as wisely as you have taught us," the fifteen said.

Gai nodded a firm nod one time. "Yes. Thank you all for your inspirtation. I am on my way." He then walked out.

Then, Orochimaru walked in.

"GASP!! IT'S MICHAEL JACKSON!! WHERE'S KONOHAMARU WHEN I NEED HIM?!" Tenten hollered.

"IT'S THE YOUNG CHILDREN OF THE WORLD!!" Orochimaru hollered. "I WILL SMOTHER THEM WITH FLOWERS AND CHOCOLATES GALORE!! AND I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU, SASUKE!!"

"It isn't..." Sasuke told Orochimaru.

"Yes!! Sasuke, I present to you, Itachi!!"

"ITACHI!!" Sasuke yelled, hugging his elder brother in a huge hug.

"YOUNG SASUKE!! AFTER FILMING, MOM IS TREATING US TO ICE CREAM!! DOESN'T THAT SOUND FUN!!"

"Spending time with you, big brother, is all the fun I need!!" Sasuke hugged Itachi.

"OH BROTHER BONDING IS SO WONDERFUL!!" Itachi hollered.

With this, Orochimaru left, and Sasuke and Itachi started hugging in Sasuke's dressing room. They stole Gaara's eyeliner, Sakura's pink hair dye, and Neji's Byakugan contacts to make themselves look 'prettyful.'

Back with everyone else, Jiraiya and Tsunade walked in. "Director sir, I find it very vulgar to young viewers of the show that there is a jutsu entitled 'Sexy Jutsu'," Jiraiya complained.

The director got a nosebleed. "BUT THE SEXY JUTSU IS WHAT KEEPS RATINGS UP IN THE NORTH POLE!!"

Tsunade hollered, "THAT'S BECAUSE PEOPLE IN THE NORTH POLE ARE PERVERTED FREAKS!! NO OFFENSE TO SANTA CLAUS INTENDED!!"

Jiraiya simply said, "And I've seen your outfit plans for Shippuden. Sai's outfit is stomach revealing, as is Ino's. I feel that all clothing should be stomach covering."

"And director, I've been getting MAJOR hangover. Can you give my character less saki, please?"

The director objected to both complaints. "Nope. Scram. This isn't your episode." Tsunade and Jiraiya shrugged it off and left.

"Chouji!! Help me on my Anti-Ramen rant!!" Naruto hollered.

"I would if I could but I cant, Naruto!! I'm working on an Anti-FOOD Rant!!" Chouji replied loudly.

"DON'T CHA WISH YOUR GIRLFRIEND WAS HOT LIKE ME!!" Kiba was hollering Pussycat Dolls songs all over. So far he'd went through Buttons, Stickwitu, Wait a Minute, and he was currently working on Don't Cha...

And back with Gaara, Neji, Sasuke, Temari, Tenten and Hinata:

"I CAN SING ANYTHING SWEETER THAN YOU!!" The girls hollered.

"No you can't..." the boys swayed back and forth waving lit candles in the air as they sang sweetly and deeply.

"Yes I can..." the girls threw fake flowers in the air and skipped around.

After a couple more 'no you can'ts' and 'yes I cans,' they all ended the song. After ending the song, Hinata charged at the boys evilly while Gaara started whimpering like a baby.

"OKAY KIDS!! BACK ON THE SET!!" the director called. Everyone groaned, put their costumes back on, and went back on the set. But for some reason, Gaara's eyeliner was missing. So was Sakura's hair dye and Neji's contacts...

Sasuke and Itachi then came out, each with eyeliner all over their faces, pink hair, and each of them had one of Neji's contacts in one eye. "DON'T WE LOOK PRETTYFUL!!"

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Tee-hee!! I luffled that!! Something tells me I'll get lots of REVIEWS. I love getting REVIEWS. REVIEWS brighten people's days. So what I'm trying to say is REVIEW PLEASE!!