"Oi! Dick-Fingers! WAKE. UP." I call to my sister who was still dead asleep—after coming in from school she dumped her bag, got changed and passed out on her bed almost immediately. She had to do PE that day so it was understandable—as I look outside of the window, like an eagle watching its prey very carefully.
"Ung, What?" She utters. I had completed quest one with flying colours!
"You kinda might wanna see this, sis."
"Fuck off."
"Barry's outside!"
I hear a bang. My sister had just fallen out of her bed, which was the top bunk on our bunk bed. The bars that would stop you from doing that had been conveniently taken off by our foster parents' daughter, Stephanie, who we'd begged with puppy eyes. Steph was 22 and we loved her like a real sister.
I turned around to see that my sister had picked herself off of the ground and was now charging at the window at her top speed.
BONK.
Subsequent to this, she fell backwards and groaned "Goddamnit window" while sighing in defeat. I look out of the window again to see Arin dying of laughter, clutching his stomach, while Barry and Suzy each had a confused eyebrow raised.
Yeah, we knew who they were. My little sister watched their channel every day and they made her happy. She had a particular liking to Barry. These guys made her happy and so I liked what they did too.
I couldn't believe that they were here. Three of the Game Grumps were outside, what we liked to call, 'The Hopeless Hotel'. Why did we name it that? Well, it's simple, we lived there.
I help her up. "But seriously. I think we're dreaming right now, sis. This can't be real."
"Dude, stop jinxing it, man."
"Why would they be standing in front of 'The Hopeless Hotel'?"
"For a laugh." My sister says sarcastically.
I look outside the window. "Because they're totally having a giraffe standing out there-WAIT! THEY'RE HEADED INSIDE! HOLY SHIT!"
"Huh?"
"Be careful don't twat your face off of the window again."
"I won't Ems."
"EMMA! ANNA! GET DRESSED WE HAVE VISITORS!" Stephanie shouts to us walking into our room. "Wow… you guys aren't passed out yet."
My little sister nods her head.
"Haway, then. Get dressed. These folks are rare, they're from America."
(A/N: 'Haway' is how we say 'come' on in Newcastle, UK.)
Anna looks at me and I return the glance before we start to sing Steph's theme song. "STEPHEN! STEPHEN! STEPHEN-THE-LESBIAN! OI-OI-OI! GO STEPHEN OF THE MASTER RACE OF GINGERS!" We chant.
The redhead sighs and walks out of the room. That was normal for us. We are weird little fuckers.
My chubby little sister heads over to my wardrobe after throwing a pair of black leggings and a white vest top on.
"Oi! Fuckboy! Get out of my wardrobe."
"Whatever, Crocs."
Eventually we're ready to go down to the living room. This house was a three floored house somewhere in Newcastle. Our bedroom was literally the whole of the attic space. I mean, at least it wasn't in Bensham, though.
I was wearing my red Anime Attacks T-shirt (Anime Attacks was the committee I was on in the local library), A black puffy skirt, floral pattered tights, my black doc martin boots, a black cardigan, an array of colourful bracelets, a necklace that my ex had given me and a fedora on top of my floofy, dyed, shoulder length, bright red hair. I put on eyeliner, mascara, and red lipstick.
My sister was wearing black leggings, a white vest top, my blue and white checked flannel shirt, and blue sneakers with white laces. Her natural brown hair, which landed just below her flat-as-a-cutting-board chest, was brushed and lazily tied into a ponytail. She put a black material choker, with a yarn ball pendant that hung from it, on.
I grabbed her shoulder and pulled the hair tie out of her hair and, even though she gave me the death glare, Anna just rolled with it. She continued to put loads of black hair ties of her right wrist as she felt abnormal and unprepared without them. Her hair was wasn't stupidly curly, it just had a natural wave that most women want but she hated.
We nod at each other before walking out of the door and down the two sets of stairs.
~~~~~~Arin's POV~~~~~~
We waited in the living space for the children to arrive down the stairs. A girl, who was blonde, was first. She was then accompanied by a brown haired friend. Clearly they shared a room. Three boys walked down next.
From upstairs we hear "Oi! Fuckboy! Get out of my wardrobe" and it makes both Barry and I chuckle. We have already assumed it to be the girl that watched the younger girl run into the window.
"I'm really sorry about the Fordy orphans, they take a while." The foster mom smiles.
"Don't worry about it, kids will be kids." Suzy waved off the apology.
5 minutes later we hear:
"BOUNCIN' INTO FRENCH CLASS BE LIKE-" The same female voice from before yells.
"BONJOUR, YA FUCKIN' RADGIES!" A higher pitched—but not by much—voice of the same gender finishes. The rest of the kids sighed and looked away as a chubby brunette, and a shocking-redheaded girl (her hair was clearly dyed) run down the stairs. "And the life of the party has arrived."
"In the form of two numpties." The blonde girl mutters.
"Alright Bimbo Baggins, chill your beans in the fridge." The tall red-head says, shooting her a glare. The oldest boy pats her on the head as she stands next to him.
"Right, calm down girls. Now would you please introduce yourself to the couple and their friend?" The foster dad says.
The brunette introduced herself as Nicole and she is 16; the blonde girl says she is a 15 year old named Megan; the youngest boy's name was Bradley and he was 8; the middle boy introduced himself as James, a 17 year old; and the oldest boy was called Anthony and he was 18. Those were the kids I didn't really care about.
The red-head's name was Emma and she was 17 years old and the chubby brunette was named Anna, who was 13. These two girls were sisters. They also made me instantly like them. It was because they were themselves and they didn't appear to care about what anyone thought. It was like them saying: "Here's what you're gonna get and if you don't like it, kindly go and fuck yourself. The door is over there."
"Hello everyone. My name is Arin, this here is my wife Suzy and our good friend Barry." I introduced our little group to the kids, keeping my eyes on Anna and Emma.
"Hi!" They reply in mass.
Anna was rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet, her hands crossed behind her back as she stared off into space. Emma, on the other hand, had moved over to the door frame and was leaning against it, chewing some gum, attempting to mask annoyance.
"Alright, you kids can go up to your rooms, you know how this works."
"Righto, Andrea, see ya soon." Anna says walking to the door, her stance was a laid back crouch.
"TO YANDERE SIMULATOR!" Her older sister called but stayed in place. Anthony walked towards her. "You dare pat me on the head again and your dick will meet an early end." He decided to pat Emma on the head, thinking it was only a joke. Emma swung her fist and hit Anthony in the balls. I felt sorry for him but it's not like she didn't warn him.
Suzy, Barry and I were told to go and visit each bedroom and talk with the children, to get to know them a bit.
Nicole and Megan didn't even like video games, so they were definitely off the possibilities list and the three boys weren't much for conversation.
It was 6:35 pm. Barry and I just nodded at Suzy, knowing this was going to be hilarious as we stood outside the door. Suzy knocked on the door.
"Come in and make yourself at home!" Anna yelled through the door. We opened the door to see Anna sitting on the bottom bunk, using her laptop. She gave us a nervous smile.
"I'll be right with you, once I dump this body in the furnace and change my clothes." Emma called from across the room. She was playing Yandere Simulator on the desktop.
The younger sister patted the bed, welcoming us to sit on it with her. Suzy and I sat first but then Anna had to shuffle along a bit, to give Barry enough space to sit down. "I'm sorry the room isn't at top standards. She, over there, can't pick her shit off the floor. And we were only told like 15 minutes ago. Soo, I'm sorry about that."
"I can't pick my shit up off of the floor? Me? You hide bowls in here, missus. Bowls, I tell you!" Emma replied, spinning around on the chair to face us, all of the sass included.
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Anna 'Four-bowls-a-day' Fordy. I don't care, Em. I really don't care."
"I know you don't, Anna. Who cares, anyway?"
"Not me."
I look over to see solitaire on Anna's laptop screen.
"So, girls…" Barry starts.
"Hi." Anna is broken away from her concentration and converses with us. "Any particular reason you've decided to come over from America to adopt a child or children from The Hopeless Hotel?"
"The Hopeless Hotel? Why do you call your home that?" Suzy asks.
"That is because this place is an absolute shit hole. And hopefully we won't be here all of my teenage years."
"Anna, tell them the truth. She just says that when she can't believe you've asked that question. She thinks it's obvious."
"I see." I reply.
"I call it The Hopeless Hotel because me and Ems live here. We aren't exactly normal, ya know."
"I can see that."
"Emma, hoy iss over mah glasses." Anna said and Emma did as she asked.
(A/N- Hoy is slang for throw and iss—pronounced the same as is; spelt differently to avoid confusion—is slang for me.)
The purple glasses case hit Anna directly in the face.
"Ow! Learn to throw."
"Learn to catch."
"Yeah, yeah." Anna put the glasses on her face and began to play solitaire again. Soon though, she looked up at her sister's unimpressed face, turned the programme off and shut the laptop. The young girl shuffled around to face us as Emma sat on the floor in front of us.
"I'm really happy you guys are here." Emma says, mellowing up.
"We kinda…" Anna continues to speak but trails off.
"Already know who you guys are."
"What do you mean?" Suzy asks.
"Arin Hanson, Suzy Berhow-Hanson and Barry Kramer." Anna says, factually.
"You've made my sister happy since 2013. Game Grumps have been a big part of the healing process after the shit we've been through. Thank you." Her sister smiles weakly.
I sit for a little bit, taking in what they've just said before speaking up.
"So, Anna, Emma, why didn't you tell us sooner that you watched our show?"
"There could have been a small chance that you wouldn't want to adopt proud fans, soo… That's why." Anna said looking around, awkwardly.
"We can't just judge you because you watch our show." Suzy said.
"Yeah, besides, you guys are the type of kids we're looking for." I say afterwards. "You're both different. And embrace how different you are."
"Aaaaand, we don't give a shit." Emma adds, bluntly.
"Yeah, and you don't give a shit. You guys are really unique." Suzy smiles.
"It's so great to think that the people I look up to, like me for me." Anna mutters, clearly smiling.
"Aw, Anna. That's cute."
"Thanksssssss." Anna says, awkwardly. "I own every Starbomb and NSP album and own them proudly. I also own all of the t-shirts."
"And," I start. "You have loads of consoles in your room."
"We'll this is where we dwell, so why not make it comfortable."
"What are your full names?" My wife asks.
"Anna Megan Fordy."
"Emma Lauren Fordy." After the older sibling stated her name, the younger one bursts out into a fit of giggles. "Dick-nose, you dare make them aware and I will kill you."
"What? Aware of what?" I ask, messing with the 17 year old.
"I have to tell 'em now." The giggling brunette smiled.
Emma face-palms with a clear slapping sound, avoiding her nose. "You might as well go and tell them, that the one and only Cum-shot has laughed up a scene."
"Her initials spell out 'ELF'." Anna quickly says before covering her mouth.
"Yeah, Elf." Emma sighs.
"At least you're not Stephanie." Anna says, optimistically, looking over at the red-head.
"Yeah, at least I'm not Stephen the lesbian." Emma smiles.
"Oh, the song you were singing earlier." Barry mutters.
"Aha." The younger girl confirms.
Emma quickly looks at her bed sheets. "Arin, whatever you do, do not fart." She says, abruptly.
I shoot her a completely confused glance before looking at her sister who covered her mouth with both hands and was looking down at her lap.
"You're sitting on Vic Fuentes' face." Emma says, her voice low and calm.
Immediately, I get up trying not to hit my head on the top bunk—in which I miss by mere inches—and look down at the bedsheets. There was, in fact, crease marks where the singers' face was. Both of my friends began to chuckle. 'Yeah, real mature guys.' I think to myself.
Anna lifts the ladders, which were directly in front of her, and sneaks under them. She continues towards her gaming chair and sits in it. The chair rocks back and we hear a bang. Anna had just hit her head off of the edge of the TV unit.
"Mother fucker." She growls through her teeth. In the next moment we hear the opening from I Write Sins Not Tragedies on repeat come from the desk.
"Anna, catch." Emma throws an HTC phone at her doppelgänger. Said doppelgänger picks up the call.
"Oi-oi, monkey spunk." She greets. "What the fuck d'ya want?" Silence. "I 'aven't got all day, quit it with the stutterin'." Pause. "Homework? Fuck homework. We've got 2 days of school left and you're talkin' to me about homework." She smirks a little. "Look, you little fuckin' swot, Kim usually has it done by now, call her… Yes, I've almost finished the fuckin' anime." She was twirling a few strands of her hair around her finger. "Mm-hmm. Yes, you absolute numpty. I'll read it. Promise me you'll watch 'K-on!' next alright. Now, I have business to attend to. MAYBE! Maybe I might be getting' adopted but who fuckin' knows at this point. I have to go, but I'll speak to ya soon, twat-face. Alright… Love ya. Bye." The phone was pulled away from her ear.
"Who was that?" Emma asks.
"It was the rarest of all pepes."
"Which one?"
"The one from the Dream Team."
"Which one from the Dream Team?"
"MC Bewick."
"Ah, Banta-Bewick."
"The Dream Team?" I ask out of curiosity.
"Oh, it's what I call my little group of pepes."
"She means her friends." Emma points out.
"I like that name, it's funny." Suzy smiles while hiding a smile behind her hand.
"Well, we all are fuckin' weird."
The three of us just look at each other. These were the ones.
"If you'd excuse me a moment." Barry says, getting up.
"Oh, no bother." Emma says before looking at her sister with wide eyes. Anna gains this same look, jokingly.
Barry left and shut the door. Suzy put her arms around my right arm.
"So, what do you do in school, Emma?" Suzy asks.
"I've just finished my level 1 hair and beauty course."
"Would you want to continue it?"
"I'm not quite sure because the people there are so… fuckin'… shockin'."
"Would you continue it if you were surrounded by better people."
"I don't know because the idiots on the course have ruined it for iss."
"Anna." I start. "What subjects do you want to do for your High School Diploma?"
She stares at the ceiling blankly for a moment. "Umm, no idea mate. I don't even know what lessons I have tomorrow never mind which ones I wanna carry on doin'." I chuckle a bit at her answer.
"What are your grades like?"
"Gimme 2 minutes, I'll go and get mah planner." Anna says jumping up and leaving the room.
"Her memory isn't very good, huh?" I ask her sister.
"Yeah, I mean, I don't blame her. The school is a piece of shit, I went there. Not only is the head teacher a total bitch but the jumper and tie is, like, green."
"Ech." Suzy utters. "The head of that school doesn't have any fashion sense at all."
"Yeah, and don't even get me started on the skirt. At least Anna doesn't wear skirts though."
"She doesn't?"
"Nah, she more of a pants girl."
"Ah, I can't see why."
Next thing we know, Barry walks in the room with an A4 sized green spiral notebook with a logo and Anna's details on the front. Anna trails in behind him, sighing in defeat.
"Anna Fordy. Year 8; Tutor group: SD. With a total of 17 negative comments and 5 hour-long detentions, for reasons such as: No homework, swearing in class and cheating on a French test." Barry teases lightly before tutting.
"Ah, it's easier to cheat in Ame-" I start but Suzy slaps my leg. "OW! What was that for?"
"Don't say things like that."
"Anna Fordy!" Emma says with faux disappointment. "When did you get all of these detentions?"
"When I stopped caring." Anna states. "Can I have my planner back now?" She asks, looking up at Barry.
"I'm not done yet. Target grades… let's see. Art- target grade is 6c, achieved 6c. English- target is 7c, achieved 6a. Ethics- target is 6c, achieved 5a. French- target is 6c, achieved 6c. Geography- target is 7c, achieved 5b… What happened there?" He asks.
"If you had Moon-boot McGee for geography you'd fail it too." She replies.
"Mr Partington can't teach properly." Emma states. Barry and I just nod.
"What do you call him that for?" I ask, smiling.
Anna scrolls through her phone and shows me a photo. It displays a bald, fat dude who had a cast-covering boot on his foot. It did look like an astronauts boot so it made a lot of sense. I liked her joke so much, I was actually shaking with laughter.
"Apparently he was playin' rugby. What was he, like, the fuckin' ball?" Emma's comment made me laugh even more.
"Lemme see." Suzy said and Anna showed her the photo. Barry leaned over to have a look too, and eventually, both were laughing with me.
Once Barry had stopped and cleared his throat, he began to read out Anna's grades again. "History- target is 7c, achieved a 7c. IT—or computer stuff—target is 6c, achieved 7a."
"You're good with computers, huh?" I ask as Barry's jaw hung open.
"I don't know how I got a level like that, IT is literally me and the Dream Team throwing pens and paper balls at each other from all four corners of the room. But, I suppose I am."
"Maths-" Barry continues. "Target is 7c, achieved 5a?" His statement soon turned into a question.
"I'm not good with numbers." Anna replies, before looking down at her phone screen. "Continue."
"Music- target is 6c, achieved 7a. Good with music, too, huh?"
"Well, I listen to NSP and Starbomb so, um, duh."
"PE… Ooh…" Barry says sympathetically.
"What? Keep reading."
"Target is 6c, achieved 3b."
"Cross country can go and suck mah nads." She says before sighing.
Suzy knots her eyebrows at Barry. "Don't worry, Anna. You don't always have to be good at everything."
"Thanks Suzy." She smiles up at my wife for a moment.
"Science- target is 7c, achieved 7c. Brian'd be happy to hear that."
"He would, indeed." I reply, smiling at her.
"And, final one, technology- target is 7c, achieved 6a."
"You're very smart, Anna." Suzy smiles.
"Thank you." Anna said, bowing her head again.
The door opens and the foster mom walks in. "You guys alright?"
"Hi Andrea. We're just, ya know, discussing my grades." Anna says, the defeated tone of voice lingering.
Andrea just laughs and shakes her head. "Well, Anna, you have school tomorrow and I don't want you to almost miss the bus again Emma. Get to your placement on time, please."
"Yes, ma'am."
"Well, thank you for stopping by."
Suzy and I stand up while Barry hands Anna her school planner. We begin to walk towards to door in tow of Andrea. I feel someone grab on to the back of my jacket. I turn around to see Anna standing there, nervously.
"I-I-I want to thank you," She began, her head tilted slightly down, I couldn't see her eyes because her full-fringe covered them. "I may never see you guys again and I just want to thank you for everything you've done for me, online. After all the shit I've been through, you guys have helped a tone. S-s-so, thanks a lot." She turned away and stood with her head down, gripping her left arm with the parallel hand.
"No." Barry said. "Thank you. Thank you for supporting us in what we do… Bye." He walked out of the room, with his hands in his pockets, without looking back.
"Yeah, what Barry said." I say, putting my hand on Suzy's back and leading her out.
{Time Skip of Justice: Sponsored by Pringles}
Now, we were in the hotel room, hunched around the table, going through and filling out the legal forms. Barry was giving us a hand by filling out all the information he knew.
Suzy broke the silence. "What's the date again?"
"Wednesday 14th July 2015." Barry reminds.
"Thanks."
There was a little bit of a pause.
"I barely know them and yet…" I trail off. "I already see them as part of my family."
"Oh, Arin." Suzy says, hugging my side. "Same here. I can't wait."
We spent the rest of that night conversing about how we were going to do our best for the girls and what life was going to be like with Anna and Emma in our lives. I could wait to go back tomorrow and start to help them pack up.