Hi :) I'm not sure how this story will go-hopefully well. Enjoy!
"I never felt settled or calm..."
-Angelina Jolie
Placidity: a feeling of calmness; a quiet, undisturbed feeling. A disposition free from stress or emotion. Calm.
I don't often feel placidity.
I can't remember a time when I have.
You see, I've been blind since I was eight. Since then, I've used a cane to move around, cringing when I bump into someone or something.
I wish I could see again. I wish I could tell people that I have a color I favor other than black. I no longer even remember how my family, or anything for that matter, looks. I just remember the pitch blackness that I see everyday. Other blind people I have met when travelling about tell me they can see color still, if they think hard enough. But I can't. No matter how hard I try, what I see never changes. I don't even dream in color anymore, and it scares me.
When I'm at school, I have special tests made for me, written in Braille. People are extremely nice to me, especially since I'm an abnormality in our small town of Serenity, Michigan. At least I can hear and smell still. I can't imagine if I couldn't do either of those. If I couldn't at least hear the constant rain we have, or the smell of the air after a shower. I think I wouldn't want to live any longer. Even without only sight I don't like being awake and walking.
Well, I should be getting ready for school now.
-Ravenna
"Ravenna!" I hear my mother call my name. I shut down my computer after saving the diary entry I had created. Shakily standing up from the chair I had been sitting in, I reach for my cane.
"Yes, mother?" I call back as I feel my way to my closet. When there, I brush my hand down my shirts until I feel the fourth row. These are red shirts. I take one and take a pair of jeans that sit below it. I put both on and go back to my doorway.
"Need to get moving!" I can hear my mom make her way to the top of the stairs. She pauses near me.
"I'm ready mom," I reply.
"Okay. Go to the car then." I nod and move past her, going down the stairs carefully and walking out to our garage. When I enter, I walk exactly four steps forward and three to the left. The car is then beside me and I open the passenger door and climb in. Soon after my mom climbs into the car and pulls out.
We never talk on the way to school. I don't like to; I prefer to listen to what I can of the scenery around me. My mom understands this, and allows the ride to go by quickly, just as I like it to. Because of this, the ride to school seems to be seconds long, and before I know it, the car stops in front of the school like it always does. I hear my door open and a hand touch my own. It's Elizabeth, my closest and only real friend at this school. She leads me out of the car and hands me my cane.
"You've got to hear this, Rae, there are new kids at the school! And they're stunning!" I smile at the excitement in Elizabeth's voice. New people don't come to our school often. In fact, we haven't had a new kid for three years. And now there's four of them.
"Cool," I reply. Elizabeth scoffs.
"Just come on! They won't talk to pretty much anybody! I'm hoping I have one of them in class." I can hear the smile in her voice. She grabs my hand and leads me forward, until we're in the parking lot. The ground feels different here, less smooth, and I can hear a ton of people whispering about the newcomers.
"Did you see the two wrapped up in each other?" "They're sooo hot!" "Eeeh! I think one of them looked at me!" "What're their names?" And the most said: "Where did they come from?"
I hear the crowd part and four people walk almost silently past me. I turn my head in their direction, trying to listen to them speak, but they don't. The school bell rings and I follow Elizabeth-and the crowd of students-into the school building. Elizabeth hands me my books for the day and leaves for her own class. I begin walking to mine, but bump into a person who seems to have appeared out of nowhere.
"I'm sorry," the person says. I can hear them gather my fallen books. He hands them to me. I miscalculate where his hand is, and fumble at grabbing the books.
"Oh, are you-" he asks, trailing off.
"Yes, I'm blind." I laugh slightly and finally manage to grab the books.
"I'm Jasper," the boy says, taking my hand in his. I shake it before letting go.
"I'm Ravenna. Are you one of the new people?"
"Yes. Uh, could I help you to your class?" I shake my head, sensing his unease.
"No, I'm fine." I begin to walk away, toward the classroom just a few steps away. I can hear Jasper behind me and I pause.
"Do you have History too?" I ask.
"Yeah," he replies. Now he really is uncomfortable. I frown and quickly enter the classroom and take my usual seat. I can hear Jasper move away from me and sit at a desk in the back of the room. Everyone around me is silent, occasionally flipping through the text book and texting. Miss Anders enters the room and taps on the board. Class has begun.
School progresses quickly, classes going by in a flash. I already know most of what everyone is learning-I read the material beforehand so it's easier for me.
At lunch, I follow Elizabeth in. She hands me a tray, and on it I place a salad and a water. We both pay and take our seats at our usual table. I can hear the room go silent and ask Elizabeth what is happening.
"The new people are here-Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, and Jasper." I nod slightly and attempt to listen to them enter, but I can't hear them. Whispers of "It's the Cullens!" drift around me.
"They don't talk to anyone," Amy says.
"Or eat, apparently," Josh adds.
"They must be to good for it," Lilly says.
"Or on a diet." I can hear the admiration in all of their voices, especially Emily's. Soon after they enter, though, everyone returns to their normal conversations. At this point I prefer to zone out. I have sensitive hearing and hate listening to multiple conversations at once. It messes with my head, I guess.
"Rae. Rae!" I am brought back to reality by Elizabeth's voice. She explains that the bell has wrong and it is now sixth period. Three periods left, thankfully. I follow her to the only class that we have in common, science. When we sit down, I hear someone approach our shared desk.
"Hi!" The voice is chipper and new to me. "I'm Alice. You're Ravenna, right? And Elizabeth? Jasper told me something about you, Ravenna. He wanted me to apologize for him, for bumping into you." She takes my hand in hers and we shake hands. I wonder if they understand that I get to know people by touch? Most people don't.
"Oh. Thank you," I reply. The final bell rings and I hear Alice sit down on the other side of me.
"It's no problem!" Mr. Kyles enters the room and I feel Alice tense up.
"May I use the restroom?" She asks, her voice strained.
"Of course," Mr. Kyles replies. She quickly gets up. When she doesn't return after ten minutes, Mr. Kyles asks for a volunteer to check on her. I offer to, as I've already read all of the material that he's talking about. When I enter the hallway, I can hear hushed voices speaking. Alice and Jasper are speaking. I can barely hear them, but can pick up a few things.
"I didn't think they'd be at this school!"
"...in reservations?"
"I guess not!"
"...don't know...here."
"...notice, won't they."
"...many...there?"
"One so far."
"...smell...na."
"Sh...t." Then they went silent. I continued on to the bathroom nearby. I can hear someone inside.
"Oh! Are you looking for me, Ravenna?" I nod. "Well I'm on my way. I just wasn't feeling well."
"Okay. You can go to the nurse's office."
"No, that's fine! I'll be right there." I leave and go back to the classroom, retelling the message to Mr. Kyles. I take my seat once again, and soon enough Alice sits next to me. I hear her take a shuddering, uneven breath and wonder if she has breathing problems. It sounds almost unnatural, and as I begin to think about her odd breathing more, the bell rings. I make my way slowly to seventh period, English. I take my seat and sit down at my normal desk. I hear an intake of breath next to me, and then someone moving. Someone soon sits next to me, and I turn to them.
"It's Emily," she says. I nod.
"Who was sitting next to me before?" I ask.
"I don't know." I hear our teacher enter the room and go silent, allowing class to begin. All throughout our lesson over Shakespearean speech, I let my mind wander. I think about life before I was blind, the new students, the class I should be listening to. When the bell rings, I sigh slightly and leave the classroom. Deciding to feign an illness and leave school early, as I'm already really stressed and my eyes hurt, I go to the office instead of Italian and explain that I have a headache. She calls Elizabeth in, who agrees to drive me home and miss part of class.
"Do you really not feel well?" Elizabeth asks as we climb into the car.
"Yes," I reply, clasping my hands on my lap, over my cane.
"Whatever, I know you're lying." She starts the car and begins to drive. I don't say anything, and let silence fall upon us like a blanket.
"We're here, Rae." I hear my door open. It must be my brother.
"Thank you, Liz." I climb out of the car and hear a murmur of 'your welcome' as I do so. I nod once and let Alexander take my hand and lead me to the house. He insists on helping me out, even though I have my cane and am perfectly capable of doing things alone. It must be a big brother thing.
"You okay, Rae?" Xander asks.
"I'm fine, Xander. Just a head ache." Alexander taps on the kitchen counter.
"Alright. Go lay down." I easily comply and go upstairs, to my bedroom. There, I climb into bed and let the day's events fade.
Thanks for reading!
-R