"Marceline, what happens when I die?"
It was late-night and they were sprawled in Princess Bubblegum's over sized bed. The girls were nestled together, Marceline with an arm around Bubblegum's waist, Bubblegum with her face pressed into the bare skin of Marceline's shoulder.
"Glob Bonnie, you're a scientist. You should know what happens already." Marceline mumbled into pink, gummy hair.
That wasn't what she had meant. Honestly, the question had played on the princess' mind for a while. What would happen when the princess was dead and gone? She knew the obvious. There would be a funeral, probably on a large-scale considering her place in the kingdom. She would be buried after a beautiful ceremony, after the tears and after the speeches. And of course the vampire would live on, eternal life almost guarantees that. If she didn't get herself killed in a battle of pride or place that is. But what would become of her? Presumably she would morn the passing of her lover, her friend, her Bubblegum. But then what? Maybe the obvious answer was that she would move on with her life, if that was what it could be called.
It was a sad, sobering thought. And probably not one to bring up as she laid with her love, meant to be whispering sweet nothings but instead discussing the issue of death.
"That's not what I mean and you know it isn't." The princess said, turning on her stomach to stare into the eyes of her queen.
Marceline took her arm from her girlfriends waist to draw finger trails up her spine until a cool hand arrived at pink hair. "What exactly are you asking then?" She said, squashing a piece of gummy hair between her fingers.
"Like..." Bubblegum whispered, mainly to fill the silence as she thought. "Will you ever forget me?"
"No!" Marceline gasped, letting her mouth stay open afterwards. "Bonnie no, of course I wont forget you. Not ever."
Somehow it didn't feel like enough. It was a huge promise, especially coming from a timeless vampire. But that was what made it harder to believe. She was sure there had been others, maybe not close to the vampire in the same way, but there must have been other she cared for and in turn cared back. Could she remember all of them? Their little quirks? What made them all different?
What made Bubblegum different?
"Okay," Bubblegum sighed, trying to give what she hoped was an acceptable smile. "Would you move on, after me I mean?"
"This is kind of a depressing topic." Marceline frowned. "What's brought this on?"
The princess ignored her question. "Would you?"
"Well, honestly... Right now, I don't think I could. I mean, you want an honest answer, right? I don't think I could move on. Honest."
Marceline looked pretty honest. Eyes staring into Bubblegum's, unmoving and unblinking. A sad smile saying believe me, please painted on her mouth. Hands running through gum hair, trying to ease away any doubts. Though the doubts lingered. Marceline must have moved on from something before. Things Bonnibel couldn't know about or imagine. The people she had lost, or given up or left herself. Things she had seen, loved and cherished. She could do it again, and perhaps one day she would have this same conversation with someone new, long after Bonnibel Bubblegum was gone, just an old portrait hanging upon the castle walls.
"You're right." Bubblegum grinned, pushing the dark thoughts away until her queen had left. "This is a depressing topic, sorry I was just curious." She added a giggle on the end for good measure.
People change, thoughts and feelings change. Bonnibel knew she had some regrets about her life, about who she decided to spend time with and how she had wasted so many moments on thing she no longer cared for. There was always going to be a constant fear that one day, possibly decades from now, Marceline would look back and see Bonnibel as nothing but a small second of her long life. A ghost of a friend she once mourned and missed. Perhaps being forgotten would be better than being compared to her new friends, family and perhaps lovers.
Sometimes Bonnibel felt like an unimportant character in a book, lingering in the background, soon to fade out without much remembrance. Other times she felt like a flame, but in the worst possible way one could feel like fire. She felt she would burn bright and beautiful, an important event in someone's life, only to then burn out and fizzle down to nothing but ashes and dust. And who remembers ashes and dust?
All she could hope for was that the moments she shared with Marceline would mean something, if only in that exact moment. Perhaps that would be enough.
In the end it had to be enough.
So. This is depressing, I apologize for that. If anyone is interested I've just been feeling a little down but couldn't really find it in me to write, until I found an unfinished thing in my folders and decided to write... this.
Thank you for reading.