"K.P. come on! Any longer and I'll be eatin' me way through the upholstery!" Darcy yells from across the room.
"Oh don't get your nickers in a twist! Just get the bloody DVD started while I get the grub, you pain in my ass." I playfully yell back as I get our munchies together for our TV-series-mash-up-marathon. Phew, try saying that three times fast. Bet you can't do it.
It's a typical Friday night here at the Palmer-O'Leary household. We have our first season in the player, a copious amount of junk food, and of course alcohol to sooth the weary soul. Finals have officially ended today, meaning another year of Uni is complete. Now all life calls for is mind-numbing TV and some much needed sleep! Sweet baby Jesus, oh how I've missed the illusive slumber. I mean come on, getting up at any hour that is before noon is ungodly in my books.
"Alright, now that we have everything ready it is time for some DV. Are you ready for some rip roaring fun and sarcastic commentary coming to you live from yours truly; the one, the only Kezia Palmer!?" Oh yeah. I used my sports announcer's voice.
"Oh just get on with it would ya? The angst is just flowin' outta that player, waiting to be mocked with reckless abandon." Darcy proclaims dramatically as she maniacally laughs, and in doing so falls over the side of the coach. Yup just a normal night in…
We stop and stare at each other for a moment before bursting into hysterics. After a few failed attempts we finally settle down, and the marathon is kick started with the first episode of Vampire Diaries; season one of course. As I start getting sucked into the opening scene, I can feel Darcy shifting beside me as she tries to get comfortable, distracting me from potentially good material. I give her a playfully annoyed look, to which she sticks her tongue out in reply, and turn my attention back to the screen.
"Hey Kez." says Darcy curiously. What now, we're not even five minutes in.
"Yeah Darc?" I lazily answer back, not taking my eyes off the TV.
"Wouldn't it be funny if we found ourselves in The Vampire Diaries?" She inquires. I slowly turn my head to stare at the loon I call a best friend. She must be joking. Oh, she's being serious…dead serious that is. Ladies and Gents; Darcy O'Leary asking the hard hitting questions, dear Lord what am I going to do with her?
"Hilarious." Sarcasm folks, is the only way I'm getting out of this situation alive. Pft I mean let's be honest who would ever want to wake up to find they are in that Vamp family drama…am I right?
Walking up to sun in my face and incessant knocking on my door, there's only one possible thought that could be going through my mind right now. Murder. I'm without a doubt going to kill Darcy. You'd think after a couple of years living together, she'd realise that waking me up before noon; without a viable reason is a definite no-no. I mean sure if the place is about to burn down with us in it by all means disturb my eternal slumber. However, I smell no smoke and no alarms are going off. So the only logical thing to do is to get rid of her. She was getting old anyway.
"Alice, Nina come on and get your lazy asses out of bed. You have to get ready for school." That's not Darcy's voice. Although I know I've heard that voice before, it's definitely not my roommate's voice.
I bolted up from under my covers and looked around the room, only to realise that it wasn't the same room I fell asleep in. Where the hell was I? And who in Merlin's name were Alice and Nina? Okay, think Kezia think. You couldn't have had that much to drink last night…right?
As I was trying not to have a panic attack the once still lump of sheets on the other side of the bed started to move, and make groaning noises. So I did what any sane person would do in this situation. I got the hell up outta there. Only one problem; I was on a bed, and I was precariously sitting close to the edge of said bed. Needless to say I didn't need a psychic to tell me this was about to get ugly.
"Jumping Mother Fucking Harp Toads!" was the last thing to fly out of my mouth as my flailing limbs got tangled with the sheets; sending me painfully off the bed and onto the floor.
"Jesus K.P. could ya make any more noise ya?" came the disembodied voice from the depths of the mysterious bed wad.
Wait, did the bed just call me by my nick name? Ok, this calls for a little investigative work. I slowly peak my head up over the edge of the bed, and suspiciously eye the lump still lying on the other side of the mattress. Maybe I should poke it, to see if it's alive. Actually maybe I better not. I could lose very valuable appendages that I need at the moment…and you know…the rest of my life! Hmm what now? Well maybe its Darcy…I mean she is the only one who calls me K.P.
"Darcy? Darcy please tell me that's…you under there." I whispered desperately to the sheets. Oh my Gebus, I'm a sheet whisperer.
"No, it's the bloody Easter Bunny. Of course it's me you eejit, who else could it possibly be?" Suppressing the urge to roll my eyes at Darcy's sarcastic comment, I slowly started to untangle myself from the duvet cover.
"Well my apologies your majesty but one can never be too careful. For all I know you could have been the creepy stalker man from down the street, who decided that today was the day he was going to make good on his new year's resolution. To become the most notorious serial killer anyone has seen in the twenty-first century; with me as his first victim!" (What, it's possible….)
"Love, I say this with compassion, love and-Mother Mary and Joseph…" she ended with a whisper. What's wrong with her now? I swear if it's not one thing it's another.
I gave up on the mission of freeing myself from the clutches of the duvet, to look at my best friend. Only, the person that my eyes came upon was not my best friend. She sounded like Darcy, and talked like Darcy, but this was not Darcy at all! The body snatcher was looking at me with an expression of pure shock, confusion and building panic. To be fair I probably looked like a flying saucer just crash landed on my mother.
"What the hell happened to you?" she exclaimed, like I was the abnormal one here. She got a whole freaking new body, without telling me!
"Me? Look who's talking, you body snatcher! Okay, who are you and what have you done with my favourite ginger Leprechaun?" I was not messing around here. If this was an alien invasion, I wanted to know about it!
But before this interrogation could go any further, the knocking on the door started right back up again!
"Seriously guys? Unlock the door, and you better be up because we are not going to be late on the first day." We both froze; there was that strangely familiar voice again.
Deciding that enough was enough with this guessing game, I got up from the floor and made my way to the door with Darcy following behind me. Now, I've had some crazy hallucinations in my day, but this by far takes the cake, eats it and then licks the plate. Because on the other side of the door was none other than The Elena Gilbert. That's right, the main character of the TV series we had been watching the night before, was here…in person. Or so my brain would like me to believe.
"Fiddlesticks." Darcy whispered the moment she got to the door.
At this point I'm ready to burst into hysterical laughter, because this can't be real. I've officially lost it, and obviously brought Darcy along for the ride.
"Good you're up. You have twenty minutes to get ready, so I'll meet you downstairs when you're done ok?" Elena was staring at us with her signature 'I'm a tortured soul, but I must be strong for everyone and I'm mothering you' look, vibe…juju, whatever you call it.
"Okalidokily." Was all I could think to say before slamming the door, and locking it…for safety precautions.
For what felt like an eternity Darcy and I just stared at each other; willing the other to say that whatever we just experienced, didn't really happen. Darcy was the first to break the silence with, what I hope to be some form of an explanation…or by God a plan!
"Well shit, we're in the bloody Vampire Diaries." Thank you captain obvious, I would have never guessed.