A/N: Sooo 33rd Method is the official rewrite of Your Anger Wish is My Command. Again, this is all part of the 'fix then update' thing. If anyone is wondering why specifically 33 it's coz of these two idiots' birthdays: 10 + 23 = 33 whoo! Enjoy!

It's been 2 and a half months since the whole of Konoha had learned that Konoha's Rokudaime and Head ANBU were officially going out. Now, they have been living in only one household and the once infamous prankster has decided to do something rather special for his boyfriend in their "day-off".

Naruto was grinning mischievously as he hurried around the Uchiha Mansion in search for a certain raven. It's been exactly three days since his vision was continuously assaulted by a horrendous amount of paperwork, barked by Konohamaru to do them, migraines hitting his head... and him giving up, taking his lover with him as he left clones to do both their jobs. Technically speaking, they weren't even supposed to have day-offs seeing as they had their duties to perform. But goddammit! Konoha was at peace, his alliances with the different villages were strong and the council which now consisted of his friends didn't need to berate him about anything! There simply was no danger waiting to pounce on their village. And if there was, he did take his official ANBU bodyguard with him right? What was there to worry about?

Except a plan waiting to be pulled off, of course.

That was right. He had to forget the freaking Hokage duties for a while and focus on his relationship duties.

After the many doors that had been opened, Naruto finally found Sasuke in his bedroom, sipping coffee, staring at who-knows-where. Naruto's grin grew wider. He knew just how foul Sasuke's mood can be once he was disturbed during his rare moments of silent isolation such as this. Add to the fact that the main cause of these moments was the blonde himself. It was, after all, infamously known as "Sasuke's-break-from-encountering-his-hyperactive-and-too-noisy-of-a-boyfriend". God he remembered the face of that burned up civilian who thought it was "no big deal" to disturb the Uchiha. Naruto would be chuckling if he hadn't been the one to have done the paperwork about that.

Yup, the timing was just right.

After going through the plan for the final time, Naruto then stepped in the room, letting the gears of his "mission" turn. "Hiya Sasuke!" he greeted loudly and purposefully. Just the same, he placed on the brightest smile he could muster, brighter than all the smiles he had ever given in his life, knowing Sasuke's ire would have increased more drastically.

A single glance at his lover and he knew he had achieved just that. A nerve was successfully struck and Sasuke ended up wincing. And yet, despite all those, Sasuke's voice remained calm -if not a bit strained- as he sighed, "Naruto, you, more than anyone, know what I'm trying to achieve right now."

Sanity, silence and stability. The 3S. Yup, he knew that. Sasuke needed to regain his sanity from the many occasions of Naruto's obnoxiousness before it was possible he'd grow crazy; he needed the silence, something one could never expect out of the blonde; but most of all, once in a while, he needed to remain stable as Naruto's brilliant, dazzling energy often gave Sasuke a migraine. Especially now when they were to return to their duties once more tomorrow. It was basically why the blonde ended up devising a plan last night. All it took was the simple question of how to perfectly utilize their given day-off.

So yes, Sasuke simply wanted some sort of escape from him and he just couldn't give him that right now. As much as Naruto knew they both loved each other too much and to freaking hell and back, there really were just some inevitable contrasts between the both of them. Someday they would get used to it, maybe, but that someday just wasn't now. Baby steps.

But right at this moment, Uzumaki Naruto had a plan he needed to play out. 3S be damned. "Um, you see, Sasuke, it's just that... well..." he acted quite nervously, rubbing a hand behind his head and smiling sheepishly as if he really had done something wrong. All it took was a little imagination of all the troubles he had caused a handful of people throughout his life and it wasn't really that hard to act it out.

"Well, what is it? Just spit it out already so you can leave."

Naruto noted the irritation that was slowly seeping out of Sasuke's voice and the eyes which were plastered shut as if trying to control himself. Good. "Soooo... I was kinda doing the laundry... and there was an orange sock... and purple paint... aaaand..."

The raven's eyes then opened and turned to him. Lo and behold, the infamous Uchiha scowl was out! Somewhere inside Naruto, a mini him was jumping up and down at this progress. Success was at his fingertips and oh did it feel good. "Get straight to the point, Hokage-sama."

Ooh, gritted teeth, tight grip on the handle and calling me Hokage. Nice. Both technically knew that their home had a rule wherein they left their ninja identities behind... unless, of course, war simmered between the both of them. Naruto didn't make it a point to mention it. "So yeah... remember the white shirt you told me about before? The one you liked to wear when you were a little kid? Well..." He gave the usual innocent smile he tended to call "Desperate Attempt For Staying Out of Trouble". Oh yeah did he use that a lot. Again, it wasn't hard to remember how to put it on and even intensify its features.

The very moment he finished his sentence, heat seemed to radiate around his lover's head and, inwardly, Naruto's smile turned devious. After all, for a genius like Sasuke, it wasn't that hard to piece together the unconnected words like laundry, orange, paint, and favorite shirt together and know exactly what the situation was. Mission accomplished. Now all was left were the words Sasuke usually said when he got mad at him.

He soon watched as Sasuke placed the mug on his bedside table and immediately stood up. Naruto flinched a bit. Well that was a nasty glare. Could he possibly have gotten too far?

...

Nah!

"What the hell did you just say?"

Okay yeah. A little. Maybe he shouldn't have used that shirt as an example. Why, you ask? 1) it shouldn't have even been out of Sasuke's closet because 2) Naruto wasn't meant to lay a single finger on it in the first place and 3) he had no right to be the one to have laundered it when 4) simple things like accidentally permanently ruining a childhood gift was possible to happen in Naruto's case. Not so smart but... totally worth it. He decided to take Sasuke's question literally. "Your shirt got-"

"I know! Ugh, Naruto!" Sasuke ran a hand through his hair, hand clenching and unclenching.

"Go-"

Yes, Sasuke, say it!

"-fuck yourself!"

And the crowd goes wild, a cow has successfully jumped over the moon and a million babies cried eureka! "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"

Sasuke's face quickly underwent a transformation from infuriated to confused. Still with a lingering irritation though, his eyes darted from the clone to him. "What's that for?"

Oh gods he couldn't have asked for any better. Why can't everything in his life go this smoothly? However, on the outside, Naruto's head took a slight tilt to the right, looking like an innocent little child. He risked jutting his lower lip a bit. "Well you told me to-"

"No!" Sasuke blushed a bit, "I know what I said but that's my job! Get rid of it! Now!"

Without a word, Naruto immediately extinguished his clone as he watched his lover's face turn into numerous shades of red and pink upon really realizing what he had just said. Wow, that could seriously be a talent. And yet, despite his awe, it was nothing compared to his whole mind screaming 'kawaii!'. It was that damn cute. Sasuke looked like a little child who had just confessed to his crush and was still in denial that he did have a crush.

Fuck, he wanted so much to hug his lover and many more. With that thought, like the doing-before-thinking person he was, Naruto threw all his weight on the still blushing raven, landing the both of them on the bed.

"Dobe..." Sasuke growled underneath him.

Naruto immediately shut him up by kissing the raven fervently. "I was just" -he chuckled against Sasuke's lips, remembering once again the adorable face of his lover- "kidding about the shirt!" -he panted as the raven started eliciting a heated response- "You're so goddamn cute when you're embarrassed," Naruto breathed heavily.

Sasuke grunted, face flushed as he weakly pushed his hormone-enraged lover away for a while. "Is this actually going to be a new method for you to get me to have sex with you?"

The blonde, who had been straddling on his stomach that time, smiled mischievously. He leaned in towards the nape of Sasuke's neck, giving it a gentle peck. "I don't know..." -another peck closer to Sasuke's collarbone as he started lifting the raven's shirt- "maybe?" Naruto's hands had then managed to take the piece of cloth altogether, his fingers now gliding around the raven's six-pack. He felt Sasuke's muscles clench as he groaned at the same time. In all actuality, he never meant for his prank to have turned out this way. Yes, he wanted to see the outcome of giving in to Sasuke's demands, but really, who knew he would be able to figure out the 33rd way his lover would be able to turn him on?

Ah, how the world worked in such mysterious ways...

All of a sudden, his heavily panting lover was on top of him, glaring him down. "But I meant it, Naruto..."

"Hm? Meant what?" Naruto wrapped his arms around Sasuke's neck, kissing the raven once again to distraction. It didn't hurt anybody to tease a little, right?

Sasuke pulled away briefly. "That I don't care if it's a damn fucking kage bunshin because I'm the one and only person who could fuck you," he muttered dangerously.

Bah! Threatening him and glaring him down was never gonna work, Naruto knew that. But goddamn that blush was gonna be the end of him! He took Sasuke's face in his hands and quickly worked on his lips, not stopping until it had already become impossible for them to breathe. "I swear to fucking god, Sasuke, your face going 50 shades of crimson will be the death of me!"

Sasuke can't seem to form any words at that and despite dying at the image, Naruto took it as his opportunity to turn their position around. "Shit I love you!"

When the raven raised a brow, smirking dangerously and utmost sexily, Naruto groaned at the sudden tightness of his pants. "So... this is really a new method then, huh?"

Naruto replied with a passionate kiss and a swift removal of his lower clothing. "Shut up and get the fucking lube."

"I love you too, dobe."

-Owari-

A/N: I thought of this story when I found a comic pic of it in Google. I decide to expand the story and well... here it is! I think I went overboard with the expanding though. Anyways, if it's not allowed to do that, review right away so I could delete this. If no harm is done by expanding the story of the comic pic, review! If you don't care but managed to read this far, review as well! It's not that hard guys. Even a simple 'Nice' or 'Nope' is enough for me. I think haha.

The comic by the way is the cover of this story.